I'm Such a Fuck Up -OR- I've Really Gotten Myself in a Pickle This Time (1001 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 1.17 on 30 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Ivy (View user info) at 2004-12-15 08:15:29 EST
"Your eyes remind me of the Indian Ocean. I feel like I could get lost in them- they're so beautiful."
"Uhh...?"
"Sometimes when I'm briefing you I get so distracted that I -"
"Um... I think you're drunk Matt."
"Yeah, I am drunk Ivy, but-"
I want to laugh at him for being so cheesy, but it's the most sincere cheesiness I've ever encountered that instead, completely unexpectedly, my heart flutters a little. I think it's the intensity in his eyes as we hold each other's gazes and smile that flirty half smile that boys and girls are so prone to unleashing on each other.
My attention drifts a little. I want to tell him that sometimes when he's briefing me, I feel like a little kid- nervous, twitching, fidgety; distracted by how beautiful he is- his huge blue eyes, his floppy brown hair. I always thought it was so obvious, but I bite my lip instead.
I think I may have blushed, but I never blush so I can't be certain. His girlfriend sits two rows ahead of us, but can't hear what we're saying due to the screeching rugby fans and crappy music that's playing on the sound system.
Despite having always been uncomfortably attracted to him, despite my being completely inebriated, I just smile and say, "Matt... You're a troublemaker."
-----
The rugby ends, and 10,000 sweaty, trashed individuals make their way to the God-awful concert set to take place at some point in time. By now I'm too drunk to be more precise.
Somehow, just somehow, we manage to lose everybody in the crowd, and start dancing to the dreadful 70s disco shit coming from the stage.
'God he's hot,' I think to myself, as I do an Irish jig laced with tomfoolery. He counters with a clumsy ballerina twirl.
He's being a complete dingbat, but so am I. We dance around each other in a circle, smiling like two fools who have finally found each other. But we haven't just found each other; I've been sitting in the same office as him for almost a year now, nervously twitching whenever he briefs me.
And then he does it, pulls me by my pockets so that I'm thisclose to him and starts kissing me, his lips softer than anybody's lips I've come across in a while- including the girls, which is surprising since girls usually have softer lips than boys.
And all of a sudden I realise that I don't know who I'm turning into because I don't even think about his girlfriend, or the fact that despite his only being four years older than me, he's my boss.
User Reviews
Submitted by matnotharry (user info) at 2005-06-15 18:45:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
'God he's hot,' I think to myself, as I do an Irish jig laced with tomfoolery
Submitted by Dea (user info) at 2005-06-14 03:50:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Crushes on bosses,adultery and shame.
Tsk, Tsk.
Submitted by Ich (user info) at 2005-05-14 23:49:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Thanks for the love. Stay brave!
Submitted by simple_catalyst (user info) at 2005-05-08 03:22:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by mrwolf (user info) at 2005-03-14 08:10:15 (#)
Ranking: 2
I really liked this, then the reviews (including your own) completely shattered the illusion and ruined it for me.
You still get the plus2 ause that's the sorta guy I am.
Submitted by Hands_Rambone (user info) at 2005-05-08 03:01:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Hey you look sad, here have a -2.
Submitted by phuzzygish (user info) at 2005-04-12 05:57:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Two comments down.
Submitted by likeeatingglass (user info) at 2005-04-12 05:46:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
awesome. and you are so sweet for being concerned for his girlfriend.
Submitted by mrwolf (user info) at 2005-03-14 08:10:15 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I really liked this, then the reviews (including your own) completely shattered the illusion and ruined it for me.
You still get the plus2 ause that's the sorta guy I am.
Submitted by Danger_Ranger (user info) at 2005-03-14 07:55:38 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Yay, you like rugger!
We're gonna kick your arse!!... whoever you are. *To the tune of Waltzing Matilda* Once a British Lion, tried to win a line-out throw, up jumped a Wallaby and grabbed it with glee, and he heard as he ran past the British bench to score a try, "Hey Laurence left some speed, acid trips and ectasy."
YOU'LL FUCKING NEED IT, YOU'LL FUCKING NEED IT, blah-blah, blah, blah...
Submitted by Danger_Ranger (user info) at 2005-03-14 07:49:20 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Yay, you've kissed girls!
Submitted by Jungle_Jimanee (user info) at 2005-03-14 07:37:12 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Great story, though your boss is a prick of the highest order
Submitted by Holz (user info) at 2005-03-01 11:49:04 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Ahhh I hate complicated situations like that. I've been in way too many and eventually enough is just enough.
Submitted by Ivy (user info) at 2005-02-28 06:36:29 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
No I won't. I got back with my ex, and my boss talks with his mouth full and laughs like a hyena. There's no chance in hell anymore.
Submitted by Feijuada (user info) at 2005-02-26 08:52:53 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
You may not have fucked him yet, but I guarantee that by Tuesday you'll be crying in a cheap hotel on all fours while your boss fucks you in the ass because YOU LOVE IT.
Submitted by Timmah (user info) at 2005-02-26 08:27:32 EST (#)
Ranking: -1
Okay I'll elaborate. This is the same boring shit posted by every other fucking PMT suffering snivelling little bitch on Uber. *yawn*
Submitted by Timmah (user info) at 2005-02-16 11:02:07 EST (#)
Ranking: -1
If you're going to rate an item that means something. at least elaborate on it, cunt.
Submitted by CaptainAmik (user info) at 2004-12-19 05:53:10 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Only a +1 cause you are the kind of girl who ruins all my relationships, cause I always have to make out with a girl like you...unless you are fat, and that's where the -1 comes from.
Submitted by Ivy (user info) at 2004-12-18 07:54:18 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2004-12-15 10:22:58 (#)
Ranking: 1
Cool. You're one of those office tramps.
I did a couple of you when I was the boss back in the early to mid-nineties.
Then, I stopped fucking you...you left your job, broken hearted and more neurotic than you were when you started.
And I was still the boss, pulling in 6-figures.
A big paycheck PLUS free pussy ruls.
------
Actually, I didn't fuck my boss. I've got enough complicated man problems in my life to get into this one any further. If he wasn't my boss and if he didn't have a girl, then I'd definitely be shagging him though.
Submitted by Adamdidit2u (user info) at 2004-12-15 12:24:03 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
You're fucked now
Submitted by William_Q_Percy (user info) at 2004-12-15 12:22:59 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Teephphah (user info) at 2004-12-15 12:17:29 (#)
Ranking: 1
I'VE GOT A HUGE FUCKING BONER RIGHT NOW!
- Adam Sandler
------
HAHAHAHA!
Submitted by Teephphah (user info) at 2004-12-15 12:17:29 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
I'VE GOT A HUGE FUCKING BONER RIGHT NOW!
- Adam Sandler
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2004-12-15 10:22:58 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Cool. You're one of those office tramps.
I did a couple of you when I was the boss back in the early to mid-nineties.
Then, I stopped fucking you...you left your job, broken hearted and more neurotic than you were when you started.
And I was still the boss, pulling in 6-figures.
A big paycheck PLUS free pussy ruls.
Submitted by Merlina (user info) at 2004-12-15 09:34:18 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
No Comment
Submitted by funk_boy (user info) at 2004-12-15 09:27:18 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
No Comment
Submitted by Timmah (user info) at 2004-12-15 09:18:00 EST (#)
Ranking: -1
No Comment
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2004-12-15 08:47:17 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
No Comment
Submitted by toddska (user info) at 2004-12-15 08:45:43 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
No Comment
Submitted by Spam (user info) at 2004-12-15 08:39:31 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
good
Submitted by moneyshot (user info) at 2004-12-15 08:25:10 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Wow that was really good.
Submitted by Jeanneee (user info) at 2004-12-15 08:18:59 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment