Shit Post Thursday. Part 3 (757 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 1.4 on 5 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Phinch (View user info) at 2004-12-16 15:27:36 EST
http://www.ubersite.com/m/16822
http://www.ubersite.com/m/17376
...rips through the lime jello sidewalk spilling coffee everywhere. I figure, what the heck, I'll have a cup if you're offering. and took a break. While I was sitting I realized that I really had no idea what the difference is between french roast and colombian blend.
The lizard with the head of a coffee mug stared at me for a long time. By my watch it was about 14 months. "Holy shit" I said to myself, "That means that Shit Post Thursday has been alive for more than a year." I reminded myself that references to Uber in stories usually are ghey, so I made out with myself. I'm such a tease.
I knew the only reason the lizard hadn't yet destroyed the city was because I was an instrument of the devil. He had been sent by the Knights of the Coffee Table to destroy me, once he was done with that task, he was contractually obligated to wreck havoc on my city, and piss on my gardenias.
From the ashes of Joe's hot dog cart came the cockroach. "Hey Dave, long time, no see." I looked at my Burger King Uniform with my name tag that clearly said "Frank" and pointed at it. The cockroach unleashed a yell and attacked the lizard. He ran past my shoe and up the lizard's leg. The Lizard bellowed "All Those Loyal To The Table of Coffee Strike With Swift Vengance!"
Before my eyes a battle erupted like a pimple being squeezed with just the right amount of fingernail. A bicycle messenger jumped off his bike, and threw himself at an eleven year old girl eating ice cream. A Irish fireman screamed "Alah Be With You!!!!" and jumped from the top of the ladder truck onto an sixty year old newspaper vendor. Three nuns and a Polish guy surrounded a bartender and started spitting and hiting him with frozen fish sticks.
The eleven year old girl whipped out a small statue of Marisa Tomei an beat the living shit out of the bike messanger. When he went down, she attacked the fireman. With the fireman distracted the newspaper man rushed to the aid of the bartender. Unfortunatly he was too late and the poor guy never had a chance. Everyone within a ten block radius was telling the one about the three nuns and a Polish guy, attacking the bartender.
User Reviews
Submitted by Sideburns (user info) at 2004-12-22 14:46:31 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Whatever happened to that e-mail thingy I wrote? Did you use it? Did you scrap it?
Submitted by whataefag (user info) at 2004-12-16 21:34:54 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
i'm not sure if i get this. but i'm going to read the other two and let you know.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2004-12-16 15:48:29 EST (#)
Ranking: -1
I understood every word of this...and it STILL bored me to tears. PU.
Submitted by William_Q_Percy (user info) at 2004-12-16 15:47:23 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Kick ace.
Submitted by munkeypants (user info) at 2004-12-16 15:35:06 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
And after I shoved this stapler in my belly button I gave him a +2
with my sponge bob finger.