Unlife in the Suburbs: Part 7 (684 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 1.82 on 15 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Impassive-Digressive (View user info) at 2004-12-17 01:51:36 EST
Part 1: http://www.ubersite.com/m/52429
Part 2: http://www.ubersite.com/m/52527
Part 3: http://www.ubersite.com/m/52869
Part 4: http://www.ubersite.com/m/53072
Part 5: http://www.ubersite.com/m/53290
Part 6: http://www.ubersite.com/m/53957
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"What? Why not?" He speaks with the tone and conviction of a teenage boy who has been caught trying on his grandmothers camisoles and is trying to casually pass it off.
I, on the other hand, try my best to adopt a firm, schoolmarm tone - but it comes out more like that of a schoolmarm who is calmly contemplating tearing her entire class limb from limb.
"Laszlo, did you just suggest that I whore myself out in order to get the abbey back?"
Quickly - and wisely - going on the defensive he replies.
"No, you just need to distract him so that we can attack him."
"Can I get a slightly more detailed definition of 'distract'?"
"Well, whatever it takes. We know that he likes you, and you have some experience in this area... It should be easy."
I have never made any attempt to hide the fact that I spent several years in the mid 1800's as a (highly successful) courtesan in Paris. I did not however, anticipate my past being used against me in this particular setting.
"I may have been one of the most sought-after women in Paris, for a time, but you and I both know how easy it is to seduce mortals. Distraction doesn't begin to describe it. A brief stare or a few words and they become your devoted slave. Fear, hate, love - these are all easy to induce in mortal men and women." I smile, recalling my exploits. "Men in particular." Dozens of Parisian men, but admittedly several women too, committed suicide upon learning of my tragic (faked) death. C'est la vie.
"The point I am making here, Laszlo, is that they were all mortals. Chalmers is not only a vampire, but he is a vampire more powerful than you or I. The fact that I indicated my preference for intimate encounters of the porcine kind over an intimate encounter with him isn't likely to help my case. What am I supposed to do? Flash some cleavage and tell him the pig was busy?"
"He is still a male, and that is what matters. You simply need to feign attraction to him, awaken his lust, stroke his" I glare at Laszlo, who pauses briefly "ego." He continues. "He may suspect that you are only acting that way to get the abbey back, but this is basically true, and ultimately inconsequential. All you need to do is seduce him, play the coquette, flash some skin, whatever it takes to force him to focus his thoughts and energies on you, and only you. His insufferable pride and unwavering desire to have all that he wants should only make your task easier."
"And while I am doing all of this, where are you? He will suspect something if you come with me."
"I will give you some time to distract him, then move in to kill him."
"So you are just going to wander in and shoot him, without him noticing?" My powers of seduction are strong, but not that strong.
"Well, I was thinking that a sniper rifle would suffice, all you need to do is draw him outside, or near a window."
"Chalmers is probably quite fast, and even with a silencer he will be able to hear the shot. What if he avoids the bullet?"
"You leap out the window, he follows you and I shoot again."
"He is faster than me. If he catches me, I am as good as dead."
"After two shots, he should be wounded, if not dead. Either way you are exceptionally fast yourself and should be able to outrun him. Keep in mind that even the Ancients have trouble dodging bullets, he will be no different."
"Hmmm..."
It carried a certain degree of risk, but Laszlo's plan was far from impossible to achieve. Admittedly, I was less than happy with my role in it, but I was willing to make some minor sacrifices to get out of suburbia and back into my abbey. One thing was still a little unclear though.
"Why are you risking life and limb to help me? It's not that I don't appreciate it, but I know that the abbey has far less meaning to you than me."
He smiles, the black bristles of his moustache rising.
"I want to see you happy."
"No." I correct him. "You don't want to see me unhappy or angry. But that can't be the only reason."
"I am not totally safe as long as Chalmers harbors a grudge against me - which will probably be until the end of his days, or the end of mine."
I tilt my head quizzically.
"There's more than that though, isn't there?"
"Well, with Chalmers gone, there will be a lovely castle vacant in the Scottish highlands..."
I shake my head, allowing a smile.
"Typical."
I mull the idea over as the eastern sky begins to lighten. Soon we hit the city limits. Laszlo addresses me.
"Do you want something to eat? We will not be home for another half hour or so."
"I dunno..." I peer out the window. "There aren't many homeless on this side of town, and you know how I feel about just grabbing people off the street."
"Dani, I was talking about McDonalds, not people." He gestures to the golden arches two blocks down the street.
"Oh, right. Sure." I grin. "People are less fattening though."
User Reviews
Submitted by Shaun_Rocks (user info) at 2005-03-28 22:23:01 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
The plot thickens... :-D
Submitted by Sachi (user info) at 2004-12-22 00:55:14 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
i did read your post
worth reading is 0 right?
ill read more of your posts
i do like them!
Submitted by Impassive-Digressive (user info) at 2004-12-21 21:52:00 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Sachi (user info) at 2004-12-21 21:04:52 (#)
Ranking: 0
With all of my language so beautiful
Why is it all Americans choose is slang and swear words
I came here to improve my English
Not teach!
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Riiiiiiiiiiiiight....
Sorry for the delays folks, I am nearly done with part 8 - should be posted soon!
Submitted by Sachi (user info) at 2004-12-21 21:04:52 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
With all of my language so beautiful
Why is it all Americans choose is slang and swear words
I came here to improve my English
Not teach!
Submitted by Impassive-Digressive (user info) at 2004-12-18 20:07:30 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by jgreening (user info) at 2004-12-18 16:31:45 (#)
Ranking: 2
Like Melanie Griffith in "When Harry Met Sally"
YYYYEEEESSSSS!
YYYYYEEEEEEESSSS!
YYYYYYEEEEESSSS!
OH GOD!
But I'm not faking it...
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Here, let me get you some tissues...
Submitted by jgreening (user info) at 2004-12-18 16:31:45 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Like Melanie Griffith in "When Harry Met Sally"
YYYYEEEESSSSS!
YYYYYEEEEEEESSSS!
YYYYYYEEEEESSSS!
OH GOD!
But I'm not faking it...
Submitted by Impassive-Digressive (user info) at 2004-12-18 08:35:00 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by munkeypants (user info) at 2004-12-17 11:23:45 (#)
Ranking: 2
I don't understand... you can kill a vampire with a gun? Vampires can eat big macs?
I love the story.. I'm just a lil confoosed.
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I can promise answers to both your questions in the next installment. I might even advance the plot a little more too, if you are lucky.
Submitted by firefly (user info) at 2004-12-17 13:41:45 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by munkeypants (user info) at 2004-12-17 11:23:45 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I don't understand... you can kill a vampire with a gun? Vampires can eat big macs?
I love the story.. I'm just a lil confoosed.
Submitted by AshK (user info) at 2004-12-17 11:10:11 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Woo!
Submitted by wookie (user info) at 2004-12-17 08:32:24 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Scarlett13 (user info) at 2004-12-17 08:16:05 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by FuckTheArmy (user info) at 2004-12-17 05:49:42 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
"People are less fattening though."
Sealed it.
Submitted by Davros (user info) at 2004-12-17 04:41:33 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
As Good as ever.
With a return of the hints of humour too.
I still like it.
-Dave
Submitted by Saxon (user info) at 2004-12-17 03:20:16 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Tantalizing very Tantalizing ID. keep em coming man.