Uber Quiz : Featuring Vaginas and Stuff! (3754 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 1.21 on 127 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by <nolan.at.Baseballwriter.net> (View user info) at 2004-12-17 19:32:41 EST
Ahem. Most of you long time Uberites, and even a few of you short-timers, spend upwards of 20 hours a day in this forum...writing, cutting on others, flirting, masturbating, etc., to the detriment of any real semblance of a social life, I must sadly note. You all know a lot about each other and most of you have never met! Let's see just how MUCH you know about each other. Whomever scores the highest will win a fabulous prize - I swear to God - Ready?
Let's play....WHO AM I?
Question 1:
I constantly beg for random internet women, who I will never meet, to send me pictures of their tits or vagina, ad nauseum. I review at least 400 times a day and still have a job, as far as you know. Yes, that IS amazing. I am:
1) Bart
2) What The Hell
3) What the Fuck
4) What the Hell is Wrong With Him
2:
The "curtains don't match the carpet, if you catch my drift" and I'll even show you...I'm proud of my clitoris and want to share it with each and every one of you. I am:
1) Hidden
2) Your mom
3) CookieLass
4) The Stanley Steamer Guy
3:
I can't get over the fact that I got raped and love to argue about it. This room sure beats paying that fucking shrink. And I did NOT have the "Big O" when it happened. I am
1) Lojope
2) 12% of all college freshmen women
3) Hidden
4) We do not name rape victims to protect their family and friends
4:
I've been called many things, "child rapist" and "stalker" being the kindest. I am in dire need of an ass kicking. I am:
1) Kobe Bryant
2) Cookie Monster
3) I Have a Kristen Fetish
4) and I have about 25 alters
5:
I look like that guy from Beauty and the Beast, only not as "handsome" and that Perlman dude wouldn't be caught dead in a pink shirt. I used to be funny but I can't explain what happened either. I am:
1) Loki
2) Rizzo
3) Ratso
4) Who gives a fuck
6:
I haven't gotten laid in more than a year, because I spend too much time on the internet and not enough time TRYING to meet actual members of the opposite sex. Who am I:
1) This list will be long
2) Why bother
3) See 1
4) 1 year? Try "in his/her lifetime"
7:
A lot of losers in this room - Shlongy included - seem to want to fuck me and I don't have a clue as to why. Must be the Tina Fey glasses and the fact that I want it pretty badly: I give great Uber and am damn proud of it.I am:
1) Shlongy
2) Cabaret Girl
3) Kristy Swan
4) TigerLilly
8:
I kick ass on a daily basis and can take on everyone in the room- at once if necessary - and I will still be standing. You don't believe me? Ask my brother. That's all the proof you need. Then, I'm gonna go out and find some cock to suck. Just try me. Anyone else in here wear Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle underpants? I am:
1) Hidden
2) Toxic Narcotic
3) Donitsu
4) All of the above
9:
My acne problem overshadows my other problems, which are many. Fortunately, mom and dad are always there to bail me out of any predicament that my big fucking mouth puts me in. And, they give me money all the time, too! I hate my life. I am:
1) A loser
2) All those assholes on Laguna Beach on MTV
3) Professor fuckface
4) Professor fucktard
10:
I'm obviously retarded. I am:
1) Habeeb
2) magnus
3) That kid from the show about a retard and a hot chick
4) MaximusPadus
11:
I have yet to give out my first +2 and it's obvious that I am friendless and bitter. But I don't give a fuck. Ever hear that song "I'm a loser" by The Beatles? It plays in my head all the time. Will YOU be my friend? I am:
1) IHAKF
2) Mr. President
3) Mr. Hankey
4) Mr. Rogers entire fucking Neighborhood
12:
No one knows what the fuck I'm talking about when I do those great science fiction posts: I am:
1) Obviously a geek
2) But I don't care because I'll probably invent something and be rich
3) Then, I'll get a hot chick.
4) _______________ (Fill in the blank- I don't read the sci-fi stories)
13:
I dream of one day, being as big as Seinfeld. Sadly, I'll have to settle for being not even quite as successful as Kenny Bania. But I'll overcharge the shit out of unsuspecting New Yorkers so it's all good. I am.
1) Carrot Top
2) Will Zone
3) An idiot
4) Wanted in 4 states for forced sodomy on a minor. Animal.
14:
Almost everything I post is funnier than hell. My sense of humor would help me get laid...except in person, I can hardly stammer out a coherent sentence when confronted with some Grade A beaver. I am:
1) GodLovesALittleLovin
2) NerfHerder
3) comicbookguy
4) All of the above
15:
I get fucked more than a bunny at Easter. But since my friends are sick of hearing me talk about it, I brag about it in Uberland. And people eat it up...I guess to live vicariously through me. Do you blame them? I don't. I am:
1) Non existent
2) Bart BUHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH yeah...right
3) Hidden - I failed to mention it's GUYS that I'm fucking
4) 1point21gigawatts
16:
How you doin'? I am the fatman who put the fat in Santa. And I also put away a dozen or so pizzas a week while under house arrest. If you believe my stories, you sure are gullible. But I may get rich by spinning these yarns. Hollywood beckons. So fuck-a you-a, goombas. I am:
1) MickGinny
2) S. Claus
3) S. Hlongy
4) Fat Tony
17:
I am a queen bitch , seemingly on the rag 24/7 and in most of my reviews , I look down on the poster like the piece of shit that they are. The perfect shaping of my eyebrows is matched only in artistry by the amazing cut of the pubic hair around my rose-smelling box. I get away with my bitch act because, quite frankly, I'm pretty hot. My stylist actually pays ME to do my waxing. I am:
1) Shlongy's next conquest and personal favorite
2) Queen Ashlee
3) Queen featuring Freddie Mercury
4) Loren
18:
I will marry the next guy that is nice to me because I am too horny to see straight. I have given only one rating below a +2 in the last three months- probably to Shlongy- and I'm up for just about anything as long as you have a job, a paycheck and an erection. I give Shlongy a Woodrow from time to time but he's pretty easy. And old. I'll even chow the beave. I am:
1) Hidden
2) Munkeypants
3) Monkeyspank
4) Getting desperate
19:
I used to write good stuff- remember my J-Date series? - but now I post stuff that should be printed off and put at the bottom of the fucking cat box. I suck, but I could post a zip code and get a 1.97, foiled from a perfect score only by that Shlongy asshole. Consequently, I don't give a shit. I am:
1) JMG114
2) LSD25
3) IMG
4) Angelica Juarez
20:
I'm a sick motherfucker. I've done so much blow I shit white. Liquid. That's all you need to know cocksuckers. I am:
1) BillsSBChamps
2) Shitfuck
3) Fuck you
4) Shlongy - (Yes, I have the sniffles)
Take the number of answers you got correct and multiply that number by your age.. Then, divide it by that same number. Add 27. Or don't. Do I care? No.
Let's see how you did.
47-100 You are here WAYYYY too much and need to get a life. You're a winner AND a loser...Get it?
27-46 You still need to get a life, but you're also a fucking dumbass
17-26 This is probably the right score to get. But what do I know. I finished with college 25 years ago.
7-16 Are you fucking kidding?
0-7 Someone better call you an ambulance...I think you're dead.
First prize, if you're a broad is:
A weekend with Shlongy
Second prize: TWO weekends with Shlongy
First prize, Mens division: Nothing, probably.
Good luck! But most importantly, have fun with it.
User Reviews
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2008-07-29 16:32:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
I didn't like Hidden in 2004-2006.
I'm not real crazy about him in 2008, either.
Submitted by experima (user info) at 2008-07-29 16:30:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
i don't know who she is. i just thought it was a funny random answer
and i also like how half the answers are 'hidden'
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2008-07-29 16:19:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
What about her?
I can't recall why I used her as one of the multiple choice answers.
Who the hell is she?
This WAS a good quiz.
Submitted by experima (user info) at 2008-07-29 16:16:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
angelica juarez
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2008-07-29 15:55:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Earth's biggest loser w/smallest dick, below
Submitted by GangsterSquid (user info) at 2008-07-29 12:51:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-10-17 10:16:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I'm doing a fourth quarter budget project for work...can't you tell?
So far, I've drawn a couple of straight lines with a ruler on some graph paper and I've went outside for approximately 4 cigarettes.
I'm off to a slow start here.
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2006-10-17 10:13:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
DO IT NOW YOU HAVE NOTHING BETTER TO DO AND I NEED TO BE ENTERTAINED
Submitted by thorpe (user info) at 2006-10-17 10:09:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-10-17 10:06:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
So I heard...maybe I can work on one of these some night this week. There's SO MANY more fucking assholes on Uber I should be able to come up with 20 questions.
Submitted by forensicgirl3 (user info) at 2006-10-17 10:05:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Definitely do another one of these!
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2006-10-17 09:58:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
PLEASE do another one of these
They're your best work ever!
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-10-17 09:48:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I wonder how long it would take for me to do another one of these?
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-04-11 21:28:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
There sure is a lot of ammo to choose from after almost two years...It might be hard to limit it to just 20 questions, but I have a short attention span.
Submitted by EchoBoxing (user info) at 2006-04-11 21:15:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
i agree, i'd like to see an updated version.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-04-11 21:03:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
It just MIGHT be time for another one of these...
Submitted by sleepingmonkey (user info) at 2005-12-14 14:40:32 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I came across this again, and it makes more sense since the last time
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2005-12-11 13:35:34 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Do another one of these, old man, these crack me up
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2005-10-28 13:01:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2005-10-28 12:46:53 (#)
Ranking: -2
The "Brand New Shlongy" is working on his stalker-related issues and concerns and will be returning to the regularly scheduled shitpost programming in the very near future.
Thank you for your patience and in the meantime, please enjoy previous posts from the Brand Old Shlongy, found in the Shlongy archives on UberSite.
Submitted by simple_catalyst (user info) at 2005-06-27 22:35:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment
Submitted by Wazza (user info) at 2005-05-03 04:34:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Ha ha ha ha ha .i thought this was brilliant,what a great way to let everyone know who they are.
Submitted by howto (user info) at 2005-05-03 04:18:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment
Submitted by frap (user info) at 2005-04-14 18:19:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
boo
Submitted by williamson (user info) at 2005-03-22 20:55:13 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by rad1101 (user info) at 2005-03-22 20:42:46 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by NintendoCzar (user info) at 2005-01-04 14:41:16 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Oh yeah, this is much better than anything I've written.
Oh wait!
it's not
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2004-12-23 13:30:51 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Loren DID NOT just give Shlongy a +2.
Alert the media.
Submitted by Loren1 (user info) at 2004-12-23 12:04:59 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
This is your best to date.
Submitted by TheSpook (user info) at 2004-12-23 11:42:52 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Plus two for you!
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2004-12-23 10:50:41 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Next time, dude....So many worthy candidates- but only 20 questions.
Submitted by mrwolf (user info) at 2004-12-23 05:30:37 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Very good shlongman. Where was my mention though?
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2004-12-23 00:13:04 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Well, I thought that ALL of them were...but you say tomato, I say tomoto.
Submitted by fell-8-me (user info) at 2004-12-22 15:57:01 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Plenty of these were quite fucking funny.
Submitted by WhatTheHell (user info) at 2004-12-22 15:27:04 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I keep picturing all these little kids playing some game in this big field of rye and all... I'm standing on the edge of some crazy cliff. What I have to do, I have to catch everybody if they start to go over the cliff - I mean if they're running and they don't look where they're going I have to come out from somewhere and catch them. That's all I do all day. I'd just be the catcher in the rye
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2004-12-22 15:21:09 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
If you're also reading JD Salinger then, yes, I'm starting to worry.
Submitted by WhatTheHell (user info) at 2004-12-22 15:16:46 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Awww.... come on NOLAN, don't be like that man.
It's just a good old fashioned obsession.... kinda MARK DAVID CHAPMAN like, ya know ?
Nothing harmful at all.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2004-12-22 15:12:52 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Dipshit- Your obsession with Shlongy isn't healthy. Please, spread your neurosis around to some other deserving Uberites.
Or have them up your dosage. Do some fucking thing.
Submitted by WhatTheHell (user info) at 2004-12-22 14:47:12 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I think "NOLAN" get's dumber with every passing day.....
NOLAN..... nice name ya pussy!
Oh..... and SHOW ME YOUR BOOBIES BITCH!!
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2004-12-22 11:20:39 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Get the fuck outta my post.
Submitted by mazman23 (user info) at 2004-12-22 02:52:47 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment
Submitted by bart (user info) at 2004-12-22 00:21:27 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Ah yes, I think I gave this a -2 because of a hitwhoring link you posted someplace else.
My advice to everyone - don't bother hitting on women over the internet. They are all fake. Most of them are men. Attractive intelligent women don't know how to use computers.
Repeat - all you men - don't hit on women over the internet. Leave that to losers like me.
Submitted by GodLovesALittleLovin (user info) at 2004-12-21 22:49:26 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Agh ya caught me Shlongster! I've never had sex with a beaver in my life that hasn't had some chub going around it's cute little stomach. One day, one day I'll be able to tell a beaver how I feel without fucking it up.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2004-12-21 22:36:55 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
But I can't pick and choose who I'm a prick to...I go on a post-by-post basis....You write pretty good stuff and you're a nice person, or so it seems. Sorry.
I'll try and flame you tomorrow, before I play golf.
PS. You could always gobble my pole...for luck.
Submitted by Circe (user info) at 2004-12-21 21:59:21 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by AlwaysAnEagle (user info) at 2004-12-20 14:07:30 (#)
Ranking: 2
Ahahahahaa
I'm not even a CHOICE, you asshole. I demand to be mocked.
______________
What she said.
No, I can't be bothered making my own reply.
And you haven't been a prick to me in AGES, Shlongy; it's starting to upset me.
Go knock something of mine off Best Ever, just for old times sake. What do you say?
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2004-12-21 21:45:15 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
We're goin' down...to the Dirty Boulevard...he's goin' out...to the Dirty Boulevard...We're goin' to the Boulevard....
Submitted by Sachi (user info) at 2004-12-21 21:35:44 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Shlongy
I apologize for my rude manner!
I am sorry.
Please to stop as your insults
Will not bring your life harmony.
Submitted by Sachi (user info) at 2004-12-21 21:10:39 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
We do not say Ah so
That is the Chinese
Submitted by Sachi (user info) at 2004-12-21 20:31:29 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
How do you say "Dipshit" in Japanese
Easy miserable worm
Say it with me
Shlongy San
Ha ha ha
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2004-12-21 18:28:46 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Who let the 15-year-old "Zit Boy" get back on his mommy's computer? (See below)
Submitted by magnus (user info) at 2004-12-21 17:13:17 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
You blow sheep
SHEEP FUCKER!
Just to let you know that is the funny taste in your mouth SHEEP NUTS BITCH!!!
Never!
Never! Never!
NO NO NO NO!!
Gay boy!
Prison BItch: "I will make you my wife BITCH!!!"
You want to Iron my boxers asshole!
I will make you lick my toilet clean!
Have you ever had your shit pushed in BITCH?
POST again you dickless wonder & I will hunt you like the pig you are roast you & eat you & not in that order.
People like you make me sick, you should cut off your nuts so as you never make little retards like you.
I am full of hate for you & everything you stand for you pig chode eating monkey fucking inbred fucking looser slacker fucktard degenerate pigfucking homosexual ass prate!
ÜBER KEEBLER HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHA!
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2004-12-21 14:18:16 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Ummm, I don't insult "everyone", Louie.
Just the dipshits with no senses of humor. Like you.
Which would be a problem, I imagine, for someone who chose "comedy" as a means to make a living.
Submitted by WillZone (user info) at 2004-12-21 13:34:36 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
and here's another -2 for spending all your time insulting people on the internet.
Submitted by BLITZKREIG_BOB (user info) at 2004-12-21 13:30:37 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Have another one, Charlie!
Submitted by BLITZKREIG_BOB (user info) at 2004-12-21 13:30:12 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
BWAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAA!
THIS IS FUCKING GREAT! I DONT THINK THAT YOU COULD PISS OFF MORE PEOPLE AT ONE SINGLE TIME!
HOLY SHIT, IM IN HYSTERICS!
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2004-12-21 10:50:00 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Thanks for the "honest" review, Louie Anderson, who, in case you're wondering where the joke is here, is not, nor has ever been, even remotely humorous.
Submitted by WillZone (user info) at 2004-12-21 10:26:49 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
"13:
I dream of one day, being as big as Seinfeld. Sadly, I'll have to settle for being not even quite as successful as Kenny Bania. But I'll overcharge the shit out of unsuspecting New Yorkers so it's all good. I am.
1) Carrot Top
2) Will Zone
3) An idiot
4) Wanted in 4 states for forced sodomy on a minor. Animal. "
#2? Will Zone!?
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2004-12-21 10:15:32 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I'd love to. Except for the stealing part. I'd rather just bang the old ladies.
Submitted by shitfuck (user info) at 2004-12-20 23:53:51 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Hey shlongy let's be drop out coke head friends together and steal from old ladies in the park.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2004-12-20 14:11:04 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I'm taking notes...I'll ridicule you on "Uber Quiz #2 - Featuring Penises and Whatnot"...OK?
Submitted by AlwaysAnEagle (user info) at 2004-12-20 14:07:30 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Ahahahahaa
I'm not even a CHOICE, you asshole. I demand to be mocked.
Submitted by TigerLilly (user info) at 2004-12-20 14:02:42 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
WTH & Shlongy...Am I going to have to smack you both around?
Submitted by WhatTheHell (user info) at 2004-12-20 13:59:21 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2004-12-20 13:49:19 (#)
Ranking: 0
Nope. I don't beg. And I don't have a job
---------------------
Yup.... he's a CATCH alrighty!
Get in line ladies, cuz he's all that AND a bag of chips.
Submitted by TigerLilly (user info) at 2004-12-20 13:51:52 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Shlongy...hi doll.
Submitted by sebcharrot (user info) at 2004-12-20 13:49:58 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Hahahaha
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2004-12-20 13:49:19 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Nope. I don't beg. And I don't have a job.
Submitted by Smurfs (user info) at 2004-12-20 13:46:47 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Question 1:
I constantly beg for random internet women, who I will never meet, to send me pictures of their tits or vagina, ad nauseum. I review at least 400 times a day and still have a job, as far as you know. Yes, that IS amazing. I am:
-------------
Shlongy?
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2004-12-20 13:35:34 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
You're clearly losing your fucking mind, half-wit. This post was good. Read it again, dipshit.
Submitted by WhatTheHell (user info) at 2004-12-20 13:02:30 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
http://www.ubersite.com/m/54787
See above, fuckface.
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2004-12-20 12:32:23 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
very funny!
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2004-12-20 12:06:53 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
What I find comical is that when Shlongy first arrived on the scene, and was pretty much universally loathed, What The Hell was his biggest fan.
Now that many other Uberites "get it" and he's not one of the few, What The Hell bashes Shlongy regularly.
Seek help, Sparky. Seriously. You're chemically imbalanced. And maybe, if you're good, I'll send you a subscription to "Spank" magazine for X-mas.
Submitted by WhatTheHell (user info) at 2004-12-20 11:40:41 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
I can't believe that this post, and the cunt that wrote it, has ranked a positive rating.
????
Submitted by Jeanneee (user info) at 2004-12-20 11:40:04 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Uh oh! I knew all the answers. Maybe I should be doing something else while I'm at work... like actually working. *thinks hard for a minute* Nah.
I <3 Uber!
Submitted by Stin (user info) at 2004-12-20 11:38:16 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
You won't get your B@W because it's too much of an in-joke. People who don't uber regularly wouldn't understand it.
Submitted by MaximusPadus (user info) at 2004-12-20 11:25:05 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I must admit this is funny. But being a nonchalant 44 year old cool guy, who obviously HAS better things to do than Uber, this explains all of it. How would you learn the personalities of all these people if you were off doing better things, such as lose money? Because they all suck, right?
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2004-12-20 11:12:02 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I agree with you. It was up there somewhere. Still trying to figure out Bart's fucking problem.
Submitted by 1Point21Gigawatts (user info) at 2004-12-20 11:11:57 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Fucking incredible.
B@W.
Submitted by Freight_Train (user info) at 2004-12-19 20:26:52 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
B@W
dude this was the funniest post ever. But most important, have fun with it!!
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2004-12-19 20:04:10 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
You wouldn't be the first, my dear. I'm hard to resist.
Submitted by Stin (user info) at 2004-12-19 19:02:08 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Fuck me, I laughed like a retard. But I am absolutely wasted, so go figure.
Shlongy, I think I may be warming to you.
Submitted by munkeypants (user info) at 2004-12-19 18:15:42 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Ouch.
That's not true! I have standards! He has to at least have a kick ass streo system in his
car.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2004-12-19 17:33:40 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Will I get a boner?
Submitted by TigerLilly (user info) at 2004-12-19 16:11:57 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Shlongy, check your mail.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2004-12-19 15:47:47 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
That's because you have brains...and good taste.
Submitted by TigerLilly (user info) at 2004-12-19 10:36:32 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Ha ahh! I thought this was funny!
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2004-12-19 09:19:31 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Make me, fuckwad.
Submitted by DonovanMD (user info) at 2004-12-19 04:20:46 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
quit spamming this everywhere
Submitted by SPECIALk (user info) at 2004-12-18 22:06:47 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
1)2
2)3
3)1
4)3
5)2
6)1
7)4
8)2
9)3
10)4
11)2
12)4
13)2
14)4
15)4
16)4
17)4
18)2
19)1
20)1
i win
Submitted by QueenAshlee (user info) at 2004-12-18 21:48:12 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
17 is misleading. It could easily be either me or Loren, and I can't read minds.
I DEMAND A RECOUNT!
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2004-12-18 19:50:52 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
7, 15, 17 and 20.
You had TWO answers on 17 so you get a red check mark there.
I gave you number 10 because there's really no wrong answer for that one.
Submitted by QueenAshlee (user info) at 2004-12-18 19:22:59 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Which four?
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2004-12-18 19:20:09 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
You got 4 wrong...but amazingly, you're in first place.
Submitted by QueenAshlee (user info) at 2004-12-18 18:00:50 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
DISCLAIMER: Answers do not reflect actual views of QueenAshlee. I'm just playing the game, people.
Question 1:
I constantly beg for random internet women, who I will never meet, to send me pictures of their tits or vagina, ad nauseum. I review at least 400 times a day and still have a job, as far as you know. Yes, that IS amazing. I am:
2) What The Hell
2:
The "curtains don't match the carpet, if you catch my drift" and I'll even show you...I'm proud of my clitoris and want to share it with each and every one of you. I am:
3) CookieLass
3:
I can't get over the fact that I got raped and love to argue about it. This room sure beats paying that fucking shrink. And I did NOT have the "Big O" when it happened. I am
1) Lojope
4:
I've been called many things, "child rapist" and "stalker" being the kindest. I am in dire need of an ass kicking. I am:
3) I Have a Kristen Fetish
5:
I look like that guy from Beauty and the Beast, only not as "handsome" and that Perlman dude wouldn't be caught dead in a pink shirt. I used to be funny but I can't explain what happened either. I am:
2) Rizzo (Although this is more reminiscent of ReallyBored)
6:
I haven't gotten laid in more than a year, because I spend too much time on the internet and not enough time TRYING to meet actual members of the opposite sex. Who am I:
1) This list will be long
7:
A lot of losers in this room - Shlongy included - seem to want to fuck me and I don't have a clue as to why. Must be the Tina Fey glasses and the fact that I want it pretty badly: I give great Uber and am damn proud of it.I am:
3) Kristy Swan
8:
I kick ass on a daily basis and can take on everyone in the room- at once if necessary - and I will still be standing. You don't believe me? Ask my brother. That's all the proof you need. Then, I'm gonna go out and find some cock to suck. Just try me. Anyone else in here wear Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle underpants? I am:
2) Toxic Narcotic
9:
My acne problem overshadows my other problems, which are many. Fortunately, mom and dad are always there to bail me out of any predicament that my big fucking mouth puts me in. And, they give me money all the time, too! I hate my life. I am:
3) Professor fuckface
10:
I'm obviously retarded. I am:
4) MaximusPadus
11:
I have yet to give out my first +2 and it's obvious that I am friendless and bitter. But I don't give a fuck. Ever hear that song "I'm a loser" by The Beatles? It plays in my head all the time. Will YOU be my friend? I am:
2) Mr. President
12:
No one knows what the fuck I'm talking about when I do those great science fiction posts: I am:
4) _______________ (Fill in the blank- I don't read the sci-fi stories)
13:
I dream of one day, being as big as Seinfeld. Sadly, I'll have to settle for being not even quite as successful as Kenny Bania. But I'll overcharge the shit out of unsuspecting New Yorkers so it's all good. I am.
2) Will Zone
14:
Almost everything I post is funnier than hell. My sense of humor would help me get laid...except in person, I can hardly stammer out a coherent sentence when confronted with some Grade A beaver. I am:
4) All of the above
15:
I get fucked more than a bunny at Easter. But since my friends are sick of hearing me talk about it, I brag about it in Uberland. And people eat it up...I guess to live vicariously through me. Do you blame them? I don't. I am:
1) Non existent
16:
How you doin'? I am the fatman who put the fat in Santa. And I also put away a dozen or so pizzas a week while under house arrest. If you believe my stories, you sure are gullible. But I may get rich by spinning these yarns. Hollywood beckons. So fuck-a you-a, goombas. I am:
4) Fat Tony
17:
I am a queen bitch , seemingly on the rag 24/7 and in most of my reviews , I look down on the poster like the piece of shit that they are. The perfect shaping of my eyebrows is matched only in artistry by the amazing cut of the pubic hair around my rose-smelling box. I get away with my bitch act because, quite frankly, I'm pretty hot. My stylist actually pays ME to do my waxing. I am:
2) Queen Ashlee
or
4) Loren
18:
I will marry the next guy that is nice to me because I am too horny to see straight. I have given only one rating below a +2 in the last three months- probably to Shlongy- and I'm up for just about anything as long as you have a job, a paycheck and an erection. I give Shlongy a Woodrow from time to time but he's pretty easy. And old. I'll even chow the beave. I am:
2) Munkeypants
19:
I used to write good stuff- remember my J-Date series? - but now I post stuff that should be printed off and put at the bottom of the fucking cat box. I suck, but I could post a zip code and get a 1.97, foiled from a perfect score only by that Shlongy asshole. Consequently, I don't give a shit. I am:
1) JMG114
20:
I'm a sick motherfucker. I've done so much blow I shit white. Liquid. That's all you need to know cocksuckers. I am:
2) Shitfuck
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2004-12-18 16:29:56 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
How come no one is actually taking the quiz?
Are the prizes not enough of an incentive?
I thought these prizes that I've offered were jackpots.
Submitted by comicbookguy (user info) at 2004-12-18 15:34:51 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
truth
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2004-12-18 09:55:37 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
BART -2'd this? Dork.
What the fuck is HIS problem? I may make a special trip to Chicago to have a little chat with him.
"Say hello to my leetle friend, Bart".
Submitted by MyNameIsTim (user info) at 2004-12-18 09:55:32 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
entertaining
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2004-12-18 09:44:29 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
This wasn't my "idea", you stupid fuck. This was already in the works before your stupid post.
And you must be a real fucking retard to -2 this when you were featured in a question.
Dipshit. Go beg for some pussy, you illiterate fuckwad.
Submitted by WhatTheHell (user info) at 2004-12-18 07:37:23 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
God are you an idiot...... this was your "bright idea" ??
You are so off base it isn't even funny, little man.
Go shit in your hat grampa....... and can I see YOUR vagina now ?
Submitted by bart (user info) at 2004-12-18 03:17:49 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment
Submitted by mystiamoon (user info) at 2004-12-18 01:59:01 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
wOOt!
Hidden for all numbers except 4 and 20.
did i win?
Submitted by polyamorousaj (user info) at 2004-12-18 01:57:37 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2004-12-17 20:18:37 (#)
Ranking: 0
Sorry, AJ...couldn't find a spot this time. It doesn't mean that you're not a dipshit, though, so don't despair.
***
Thanks for the validation.
Submitted by Monarch (user info) at 2004-12-18 01:40:20 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
"OH WAIT! I KNOW THIS ONE! The answer is... 'It's the Jews'"
"No, I'm sorry, that was a trick question. The correct answer was: 'It's the Juice.'"
Okay, if anyone here even knows where that's from, I'm going to have to shoot myself.
Submitted by CookieLass (user info) at 2004-12-17 23:56:44 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
hahahahahahahahaha shows how much YOU know... I don't HAVE any carpet!!!!
Submitted by NerfHerder (user info) at 2004-12-17 23:52:30 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
14 is funny because its true.
Submitted by SullyThePirate (user info) at 2004-12-17 23:33:49 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Pretty funny.
Submitted by Istaros (user info) at 2004-12-17 23:23:55 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
awesome
15 & 18 were the best
Submitted by Degreeless_Capibara (user info) at 2004-12-17 23:03:09 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
If you make another installment, make it in at least a month. This post was enough uberfolk for all of us.
Submitted by professorfuckface (user info) at 2004-12-17 22:58:27 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
This started out OK, got pretty repetitive after a while.
Submitted by Dead_0hi0_Sky (user info) at 2004-12-17 21:43:32 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2004-12-17 21:23:24 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I just may do that...some posters will be pissed that they weren't included...and many more won't even give a shit.
http://www.ubersite.com/m/54626
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2004-12-17 21:04:09 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
this was funny as shit - do a part 2
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2004-12-17 20:47:03 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
what the hell man if they are comin at you , means they want somthin ,more better you look after them and care for them ,than they get on the street uh?
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2004-12-17 20:35:58 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Z- Ironically, I learned about Kristy Swan today- I know no details other than it's probably an alter who is well known. Thats why she/he got included.
On a side not, I put in about 7 hours of online poker today while Mrs. Shlongy toiled at work so I was in here on/off WAYYYY too much. I agree. I think I called myself a loser a couple of times.
Submitted by zakalwe (user info) at 2004-12-17 20:32:51 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Excellent stuff.
But a 10000-era user who knows about Kristy Swan clearly spends far too much time here too, you big hypocrite.
And how does a piece of shit like ToxicNarcotic get a question all to himself? Is that how you reward him for being a arrogant nancy-boy?
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2004-12-17 20:18:37 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Sorry, AJ...couldn't find a spot this time. It doesn't mean that you're not a dipshit, though, so don't despair.
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2004-12-17 20:17:27 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by polyamorousaj (user info) at 2004-12-17 20:09:34 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I'm not in it?
What a fucking crock.
Submitted by hidden101 (user info) at 2004-12-17 20:09:04 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
my name is Shlongy. when i jerk off i think about:
1.) hidden
2.) other gay men like myself
3.) hidden
4.) hidden?
i have some kind of gay obsession with (_______) because i talk about him everytime i reply or post on Ubersite.
1.) hidden
2.) hidden
3.) hidden
4.) hidden
Submitted by Degreeless_Capibara (user info) at 2004-12-17 19:58:18 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
What the hell, I had nothing else to do.
Submitted by bob (user info) at 2004-12-17 19:55:53 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
all i have to say is that jmg is cool and loren is in fact hot.
that is all.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2004-12-17 19:49:01 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Now now, fellas...You know I can't give away the correct answers- if there ARE even correct answers to this nonsense- until everyone has played.
Wouldn't be prudent. (Pssssssst, yup)
Submitted by EatMeCompletely (user info) at 2004-12-17 19:46:18 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Loren is pretty fucking hot. That was the right answer, correct?
Submitted by Hadooken (user info) at 2004-12-17 19:46:02 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
13 is will zone. right?
Submitted by EatMeCompletely (user info) at 2004-12-17 19:43:47 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
You know that you spend as much time on Uber as the rest of us. You're lying if say that you don't. Still funny, though. I knew most of the answers.
Submitted by jgreening (user info) at 2004-12-17 19:35:58 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Yeah...
Wasn't at all entertained by this one...
Submitted by Academy (user info) at 2004-12-17 19:34:00 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
http://www.ubersite.com/m/54622
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2004-12-17 19:33:28 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I hope this doesn't get wasted on a weekend post...I have to go play in an 11pm poker game. Hike!