A very CRAZY true story about an Israeli in the Amazon - or - The Adventures of Yanni (712 hits)
Category: Quotes & StoriesRating: 1.58 on 15 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Zandy1123 (View user info) at 2004-12-18 17:22:29 EST
I grew up in an interesting family. My parents met in college in the late 60's, married after graduation in '69 and started their careers as art teachers. In short, my parents were hippies.
My mom quickly became a disgruntled art teacher and retired in 1984, but my dad didn't even last that long. He ended up working construction in upstate NY. He learned quickly, worked hard and eventually established his own small contracting operation. I've told some stories about my dad and his work in the past. Here is one such story for your reading (dis)pleasure: http://www.ubersite.com/m/40635
Link-whoring aside...
So dad's contracting biz is and always has been small. He usually never had more than one or two helpers working for him at once. In the late 80's, an Israeli gentleman started working for my dad: Michael, or 'Mic' - pronounced 'Mick.' He was a relative of a friend and has worked for my dad ever since.
Mic's little brother, Yanni, would also work for my dad from time to time. Mic and Yanni were young guys and I remember that they would have to go back to Israel once in a while to serve obligatory time in the Israeli Army. I would work for my dad during summers, and I usually ended up on a jobsite with Mic. He would show me how to debilitate my enemy with a single blow to the neck, David Carradine-style. He also showed me different pressure points for taking people down. I'm not sure if they've ever killed anyone themselves...who knows what happens in the Israeli Army. I'd rather not think about it. Anyway...
Mic and Yanni were both known for making adventures for themselves. They climbed Mount Kenya...did a whole 2 month long Safari thing. They were always traveling and exploring in Africa, Europe and South America...hiking, rock/ice climbing, canoeing, kyaking...
One time, Yanni, on a whim, decided to fill his wallet with cash, he went to the airport, flew to somewhere in South America, bought a canoe, some supplies dropped himself in the Amazon...going upstream!
Yanni traveled for a little over a week without seeing another human being. He would land on the banks where it was easy and setup camp. Sometimes, he would tie up the canoe and sleep there. Yanni is truly a man's man...he's the type of guy that would saw off his arm to free himself from being stuck. He's the kind of guy that would punch himself in the face to avoid a speeding ticket (ooh! random shout-out!)
So upriver he went until out of the blue, Yanni was taken prisoner by some sort of rebel militia whose headquarters he happened to pass on the river. These guys were wearing camo "uniforms" and sporting automatic machine guns...they weren't fucking around! They brought Yanni back to some sort of shack and proceeded to interrogate him. Fortunately, Yanni's army training had prepared him for just such an occasion...
While he was being held captive, Yanni noticed something familiar about the weapons the militia guys were toting...they were Israeli! Even better - they were the same rifles he had trained with years earlier. He somehow communicated this to his captors and using his bizarro Israeli mind-control techniques he managed to convince them to let him hold one of their weapons.
Yanni then proceeded to take the rifle apart, by hand, laying the pieces neatly on a table. A crowd of dirty, Amazon-dwelling, hispanic warlords looked on with intent. Then, as quickly as he took the weapon apart, he reassembled the thing, reloaded it and handed it back to the guard who gave it to him.
And thus, Yanni made some new friends. They fed him, allowed him to spend the night and released him the following day with some extra supplies for the remainder of his voyage.
Everytime I think about this story, I feel like my life just isn't as wild and exciting as it could be. So, I go on the internet and start researching... http://www.biggerhammer.net/manuals/
User Reviews
Submitted by AwesomeJohnson (user info) at 2004-12-20 10:22:33 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
i probably woulda shared my recipe for anaconda-latkas or something
Submitted by CookieLass (user info) at 2004-12-19 18:48:49 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
At first I was gonna make up something mean to say because I thought you'd been mean to me on a post once. And then I remembered that that wasn't the case, and I felt bad, because this was a good post.
And then I also remembered that you're Hottie McHot-hot, and I can think of way better things to do than be mean to you.
Submitted by munkeypants (user info) at 2004-12-19 18:02:44 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
My parents were late 60's early 70's kids. They wewnt from hippie to disco and funk.
To this day my mom still loves disco.
Submitted by Davros (user info) at 2004-12-19 17:54:20 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
My life is full of so many adventures.
Which is why I have none to tell.
:sigh:
still-2 for life.
-Dave
Submitted by TigerLilly (user info) at 2004-12-19 12:35:10 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Zandy...At least you can say your hair is wild.
I looooove your hair.
Merry Christmas sweet thang!!!
Submitted by GodLovesALittleLovin (user info) at 2004-12-19 11:25:23 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
this plus 2 isn't for you Zandy. This is for the starving children over in the Middle East who's parents are dead thanks to me. Hopefully this will begin their healing process. They love the Ubersite.
Submitted by GodLovesALittleLovin (user info) at 2004-12-19 11:23:39 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!2222@@@@!!!!
Submitted by GodLovesALittleLovin (user info) at 2004-12-19 11:23:04 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Did I scare you Zandy? Thought that I had gone to Saudi Arabia as an airplane pilot for camels and forgot about you posting? You will never stop me Zandy, I will plus 2 you every godamn time.
Submitted by Zandy1123 (user info) at 2004-12-19 11:16:39 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
the rifle in the pic is a: ISRAELI FN-FAL RIFLE CAL. 7.62x51 mm Nato.
Submitted by Avals (user info) at 2004-12-19 07:54:09 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
What?! That's not a Galil!
Submitted by firefly (user info) at 2004-12-19 02:24:05 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
No Comment
Submitted by rad1101 (user info) at 2004-12-19 01:27:05 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
GALIL!!!!
Submitted by tech-junkie (user info) at 2004-12-18 21:11:51 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I play with that rifle on Counter-Strike!
Nice story.
Submitted by keebler (user info) at 2004-12-18 18:47:04 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
http://www.ubersite.com/m/54675
Submitted by Tigre (user info) at 2004-12-18 17:45:28 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Why didn't he shoot them all? That's kinda what I was expecting.. Damn jews always letting me down.