Someone Call Melvin Van Peebles, This Shit Ain't Right. (922 hits)
Category: Movies & TVRating: 1.79 on 15 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by sublime (View user info) at 2004-12-20 13:26:41 EST
Good Morning Internet Losers,
The Christmas season is upon us, and hollywood has churned out another heaping spoonful of dioxin (Go Ukraine Woo?), that kids on holiday are to gobble up like young birds on regurgitated worms, yummy.
After 1994, saturday morning cartoons took a turn for the worse. Transformer and He-Man reruns were long gone, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles had just finished. The shining star from this refuse bin of a line up had been dung, wait, I mean Doug, that douchebag with his blue friend and his girlfriend named mustard or something.
During the 80's saturday morning cartoons were at its peak, there was Ghostbusters, He-Man, GI-Joe and many other violent animated displays of awesomeness with a wholesome message at the end. They didn't have the lint off of someones nutsack gracing their screens as we do today with Lizzie Mcguire and The "Mighty Morphin" Power Rangers.
What was the cause of such great animated feats in the 80's? It was all because of one man. Today we would call him morbidly obese, but in simpler times he was simply called fat, Fat Albert. In the 70's everyone was up for some music and fun and the fact that they might learn something by the time its done, and Bill Cosby was the delivery and creator of such monumental television. Fat Albert and the Cosby Kids ran strong for 12 years and stuck to the same format. It was an inspiration for all things animated about the 80's.
Fat Albert had his time. But as a morbidly obese man growing up in the inner city during the 70's, he would have been laid to rest by now, as he should be. But somehow between the fat folds of his dead skin a movie clause in his contract was found and we are forced to see a non animated fat albert parade his tubby ass all over the movie screen. I was willing to give it chance, but I saw the trailer and it gave me venereal disease.
Being the activist that I am, I cannot standby and watch as a predominantly black cast gets paraded on stage and laughed at. So, if you're reading this Mr. Peebles, and I bet you aren't, please, save saturday morning for the children of the future.
User Reviews
Submitted by munkeypants (user info) at 2004-12-31 02:50:54 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
where are oyu? i miss you
Submitted by DamienX (user info) at 2004-12-20 17:08:04 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I liked SNL's version the best.
Submitted by munkeypants (user info) at 2004-12-20 16:10:14 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
This is a movie that should have never been made.
Submitted by BLITZKREIG_BOB (user info) at 2004-12-20 15:23:16 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
YEAH YEAH YEAH GONNAHAVEAGOODTIME!!!
There is absolutely nothing racist about a group of inner-city minority children that hang out in a junkyard, play in a band made of junk instruments, and talk jive. Man, the '70's rocked. I remember watching Fat Albert on CBS...then like 6 hours of the new Looney Tunes would come on.
Submitted by TigerLilly (user info) at 2004-12-20 15:16:30 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
He's black!
Submitted by Ferretnose (user info) at 2004-12-20 15:14:20 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
"I was willing to give it chance, but I saw the trailer and it gave me venereal disease." Hahaha!
Thunder...thunder... THUNDERCATS!
F.
Submitted by ess-arr (user info) at 2004-12-20 14:51:03 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Trans-Zor-Z, How I loved the 80's
Submitted by Sassmasterr (user info) at 2004-12-20 14:36:08 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
i enjoyed man-o-steel man, ronald weisenheimer, super pretendo, and the beats! yep it was gay
Submitted by firefly (user info) at 2004-12-20 14:35:25 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
spades
Submitted by jgreening (user info) at 2004-12-20 14:29:35 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I liked Doug's dog.
It was a rabble-rouser.
Submitted by RyuFu (user info) at 2004-12-20 14:20:27 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
"I was willing to give it chance, but I saw the trailer and it gave me venereal disease."
Yeah, it's a hackneyed uber-style line. Yet, it made me laugh very much.
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2004-12-20 14:08:12 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
well, Melvin ain't reading nothing right now, on account of his takin' a dirt nap, but I'm sure Mario could handle it.
I actually grew up watching Fat Albert on Saturday mornings, so my original thought was to get hella pissed when I heard about this movie, but I'm starting to come around. Particularly when Bill Cosby comes to the door and sees the 'real' Fat Albert.
One things for sure - no way they could show Fat Albert on TV today - it would hurt too many kiddies pwecious 'self-esteem'...
Submitted by Insanethemind (user info) at 2004-12-20 14:06:47 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I could tell from the 15 second advert that this movie is going to suck donkey ballz.
Submitted by Lyric (user info) at 2004-12-20 13:53:42 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Happy birthday to me!
Submitted by JMG114 (user info) at 2004-12-20 13:31:08 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
"his girlfriend named mustard or something"
That was great.
I am, however, pleased to find all original episodes of Fat Albert on DVD. I heard a while ago that someone bought up all the rights and decided to never release them because it was considered racist. I'm glad that those rumors were untrue.