Adventures in retail, Part two: When senior citizens attack (1020 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 1.37 on 18 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Ashlee (View user info) at 2004-12-23 23:06:55 EST
You may have gathered, from my last post, that I'm a little bitter about my general experience at Glamour Shots. And with good reason. But I realized today that they had given me more than just pounding headaches and stomach cramps. They gave me stories. Stories I want to share with you. Most of which don't end with addresses.
See, Glamour Shots tends to attract a vast array of weirdos. This tale involves a woman who I'm sure could make use of a good shrink.
It all started when I was in front of the store, trying to entice people to come in for pictures with the promise of a waived sitting fee. I always hated having to do this, since I know how annoying it is to have someone bug you when you're shopping, but it was part of the job, and I was good at it. Also, we worked on a commission basis, so the more people I could get to come in, the more money I made. Every so often, God would smile upon me and send an interested party to ME, meaning an easy booking. That very thing happened that morning.
A short, robust woman wearing blindingly bright colors approached me to ask about the prices. I went through the script, mentally checking each item off in my head. First I told her about the full makeover and dry hairstyle with one of our professional makeup artists, and her sixteen to twenty pose photo session with our photographer, which would include two to three wardrobe changes. The normal price for that is $39.95, but if she'd like to come in today, the owner would pay for her session. I told her about the prices, sizes, and printing options, as well as the range of digital products we offer.
When I finished my spiel, she said that sounded great, but she was wondering if she could bring her dog in for pictures. This is a common thing, although typically, people want pictures of pets with their kids or with the whole family. I told her she was welcome to bring the dog in, but we had to charge a 10 dollar fee for that. She agreed and set up the appointment for early that afternoon.
Her session time rolled around, and she was back, carrying a garment bag, a medium sized box, and a small poodle. I rushed to help her with her things, hanging the bag and setting the box nearby. After she filled out her paperwork, I did her makeover and told her she could go ahead and change into her first outfit. There ended my involvement with this customer. From then on, I was merely a spectator.
The entire time that she had been in the store, she had not let the dog off her lap. This had made the makeover a little difficult, but I understood. She was probably worried about the dog getting under someone's feet, or getting tangled on a chair or something. It wasn't until she came out of the changing room that I noticed the dog's toenails were painted bright pink. I thought it was a little weird, but not really too out there. I actually felt a little sorry for the woman. During the makeover, she had told me that she had no family, no kids, no friends. The dog was all she had. She had little sweaters for it, that matched the clothes she was wearing. Surprisingly, the little critter was very cooperative each time she changed its clothes.
When it came time for her last wardrobe change, she said that she'd like to take a break and do some pictures of the dog by itself. She shuffled off to the changing area, dug around in the box she'd brought along, and returned with a little plastic tiara, explaining that she'd like the dog to wear it. The dog had other ideas. Amused, I watched the photographer try twist ties and paper clips to hold the tiara onto the poodle's head, watched the dog shake madly each time until the offending device was free from its fur. Throughout this time, the woman muttered things, at first seemingly to herself. Soon, however, I realized that she was talking to the dog. Like it was a person. A person that could understand her. "Princess!" she declared. "I could have worked overtime instead of bringing you here! Why won't you wear the tiara?" She went on for a few more minutes, before she did something truly surprising.
She threw a hissy fit. I'm not talking a little huffing and puffing here, people. This 56 year old woman lie down in the middle of the studio, sobbing angrily, and began to kick her legs and pound her fists against the floor. Her face was red from screaming. I'm pretty sure that the people in EB across the hall were staring. This was a full-blown temper tantrum, the likes of which I hadn't seen since I refused to buy my spoiled little cousin (four years old) the newest Barbie doll the last time we were in the mall. At first, nobody moved. I don't think any of us actually believed that this was happening.
After a solid 90 seconds, the reality of the events began to set in. I stood there, barely containing a fit of laughter, while the photographer began to try and soothe the woman. The poodle hid behind the backdrop. After a few more minutes of her little show, the woman became completely still. Then she stood up, straightened her clothing, and called the dog. She looked at the photographer and said in a cheery voice, as if nothing at all had happened, "So what you like us to do next?"
They the rest of the session went on without incident. Although they did give up on the tiara, the pictures came out pretty nice, the dog didn't seem too traumatized, and my paycheck got nudged up another 40 bucks. The woman didn't seem to have any recollection whatsoever of her outburst, and none of the employees were going to remind her. The other employees all think she's crazy. I like to think she was just really in touch with her inner child.
User Reviews
Submitted by Dane1901 (user info) at 2006-04-06 12:01:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by QueenAshlee (user info) at 2006-02-02 20:02:35 (#)
Ranking: 0
I've been busy, buddy. I'm currently starting my own business, learning to blow glass, and spending time with my dying grandmother, not to mention devoting time to my boyfriend and his daughter... Not a lot of free time on my hands, you know?
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Devoting time to bf and his daughter..hahaha...about the only man who would touch you is someone with an illegitimate child. He's obviously made good choices in women, since the man only gets custody in cases of extreme instability, and now you. Wow. you fat sickening pig.
Keep spreading those legs in search of daddy's love. (hint: you won't find it by housing 100 dicks over the course of your life)
Submitted by Lyric (user info) at 2004-12-30 03:40:09 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Okay, I posted it. Go read my retail horror story!
Submitted by BrittneyCheers4U (user info) at 2004-12-25 15:26:38 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by FilthyAssistant (user info) at 2004-12-24 17:03:35 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I like these Ashlee, more!
Submitted by coley (user info) at 2004-12-24 16:21:15 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Poor dog.
Submitted by precision (user info) at 2004-12-24 13:30:03 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
+2's for Christmas!!! Thank God she didn't want some kind of nude shots with the dog
Submitted by domenad (user info) at 2004-12-24 10:25:02 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Okay, what you saw? I would have just fucking flipped out. It would have gone something like this:
"OH SHIT! SHE"S GOT A GUN!"
Then the snipers would have taken her out.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2004-12-24 09:50:29 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I didn't bother to read this post. When you write a story with some fucking in it, call me.
Submitted by Ainkara (user info) at 2004-12-24 09:08:13 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Mmm... Money...
Submitted by hairycoo (user info) at 2004-12-24 07:31:28 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
what a horrible job
Submitted by Lyric (user info) at 2004-12-24 03:59:00 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Thank you for inspiring me to post my own retail hell stories. I'll get around to it tomorrow or something.
And I feel your pain. Oh, lord, do I feel your pain.
Submitted by munkeypants (user info) at 2004-12-24 03:09:04 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by LadyPlural (user info) at 2004-12-24 00:42:02 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I guess you get a +2 for a well-told story, but I can definitely see Tastycat's point. Fuck, now I'm depressed. Stupid mood swings. Right. Onward.
Submitted by Tastycat (user info) at 2004-12-24 00:11:24 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I feel sorry for the woman. I mean, I can understand that it seems like it would be funny, but I can picture people I know doing that, and for the most part it's completely uncontrolable.
My grandmother doesn't have much. She can't leave her house, and, although he kids all live within about 25 miles the usually only stop in once a week or so. I guess that seems like a lot, but for an old woman who can't go anywhere all her friends and her husband have died and doesn't watch TV a family visit means a lot. She listens to the oldies station and regularly cries at memories she has when she listens to those songs, which is good, because she at least remembers. But, I've seen her cry over a burnt muffin [which she makes just for the family when they come over - she can't eat them], or running out of butter [she gets her groceries delivered, so it's no fault of her own], or even just not having enough chairs for everyone [the family has roughly 55 members at this point].
She loves her family (myself included) to a point where the slightest thing will cause her to feel bad about herself to a point where she cries. I can totally relate to this woman in that she has nothing but the dog left, and she wants everything to be perfect.
How would you feel if you wanted to get pictures of your only companion in life, and you wanted them to be just perfect because that's all you have and they wouldn't cooperate?
I applaud her for being flexible enough to change her plans to not include the tiara so quickly.
You get a 0. It's worth reading, but it didn't make me smile.
Submitted by The_Walrus (user info) at 2004-12-23 23:54:37 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
+1 for the post
+1 for the demented clown picture
+2 nice job.
Submitted by screamfeeder (user info) at 2004-12-23 23:46:11 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
2nd time in a row we have posted "Adventure" stories right next to each other.
Too bad yours are better.
Submitted by wardy (user info) at 2004-12-23 23:40:45 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Benny (user info) at 2004-12-23 23:36:38 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Yesterday I could feel your pain. I thought that woman was such a bitch.
Today was a really funny story though. I feel sorry for the dog.