shlongy didn't get his donkey punch for xmas (1322 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 1.61 on 25 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Shroom (View user info) at 2004-12-25 05:06:43 EST
Ask pen_name about the title, it was his idea and I'm a stupid clueless n00b.
It's Christmas Eve and, as per tradition, we all open one gift. I get a $20 Best Buy certificate and my sister got a basket of...stuff. One of the thigns in this basket was an overly large plastic egg containing silly putty. Huzzah!
Of course, the first thing I do is swipe the silly putty because my sister is a bitch and doesn't deserve it.
So now I'm sitting here at 1:30am in a completely dark room (aside from the warm glow of my computer moniter), playing with silly putty. My dipshit fingers decide to be clumsy and I drop the silly putty. onto the carpet.
"Fuckinaye! Now it's gonna be all dirty."
Then my lazy side takes over.
"Damnit, I don't want to lean all the way over to pick it up... I know! I'll feel around for it with my foot and pick it up with my toes! Shroom, you're a genious!"
So my foot instantly goes on a man- err... silly putty-hunt and, before I know it, there's a squishy feeling.
Guess what.
I've just mashed it into the carpet. Not to mention the fact that I just ruined a sock.
Even on his birthday, Jesus hates me.
I was going to camwhore the mashed up silly putty, but there is a lack of digicam in my house. So here's a pic of my favorite pornstar.
User Reviews
Submitted by Adamdidit2u (user info) at 2005-08-03 14:08:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Shroom (user info) at 2005-08-03 13:59:21 (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by CookieLass (user info) at 2004-12-26 07:16:02 (#)
Ranking: 0
She's hot, but those are the ugliest fucking shoes I've ever seen. She'd be sexier in orthopaedic lunch-lady loafers than those things.
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Honestly, who gives a fuck about the shoes? I care about the woman, and the fuckability of the woman, IN the shoes.
Mmm, Aria...I can't wait for our midnight rendezvous. Teehee.
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For real she could be wearing Clown Shoes with fucking pictures of Goatse pasted on them and every hetero guy would STILL stab his mother to stick it in her
Submitted by Shroom (user info) at 2005-08-03 13:59:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by CookieLass (user info) at 2004-12-26 07:16:02 (#)
Ranking: 0
She's hot, but those are the ugliest fucking shoes I've ever seen. She'd be sexier in orthopaedic lunch-lady loafers than those things.
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Honestly, who gives a fuck about the shoes? I care about the woman, and the fuckability of the woman, IN the shoes.
Mmm, Aria...I can't wait for our midnight rendezvous. Teehee.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2005-02-24 12:34:33 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Cheap attempt at hits using the trademark...but what the hell.
Submitted by Shroom (user info) at 2005-01-03 07:03:59 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Bob, that's Aria Giovanni. She's a (really fuckin' hot) pornstar.
Submitted by bob (user info) at 2004-12-28 15:34:11 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
who is she?
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2004-12-28 15:23:41 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by CookieLass (user info) at 2004-12-26 07:16:02 (#)
Ranking: 0
She's hot, but those are the ugliest fucking shoes I've ever seen. She'd be sexier in orthopaedic lunch-lady loafers than those things.
Submitted by beer-turtle (user info) at 2004-12-26 17:05:53 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
I had a dream about Raquel Darrian last night...she was naked and fed me berries while she rode me.
the a tree chased me.
-Turtle
Submitted by tuesdaydelay (user info) at 2004-12-26 07:25:27 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
http://www.ubersite.com/m/55293
Mmm...Aria!
Submitted by CookieLass (user info) at 2004-12-26 07:16:02 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
She's hot, but those are the ugliest fucking shoes I've ever seen. She'd be sexier in orthopaedic lunch-lady loafers than those things.
Submitted by munkeypants (user info) at 2004-12-25 15:51:58 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Wow... she's hot
Submitted by jgreening (user info) at 2004-12-25 15:44:16 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
THAT'S MY CHRISTMAS MESSAGE!
Submitted by BrittneyCheers4U (user info) at 2004-12-25 15:27:18 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I peed in the snow and spelled out MERRY F'N CHRISTMAS BITCHES just for you
Submitted by gabrielpm (user info) at 2004-12-25 15:11:27 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Porno star!
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2004-12-25 10:43:10 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
The hits just keep on coming...number 21...
Submitted by heyzues (user info) at 2004-12-25 09:22:00 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
WOOOOOOHOOOOOOHOHOHOHOHOTHATPICMADEMEHORNY
Submitted by SullyThePirate (user info) at 2004-12-25 09:14:35 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Aria's my favorite too!
Submitted by creep_firebombing (user info) at 2004-12-25 07:53:18 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by mystiamoon (user info) at 2004-12-25 05:49:48 (#)
Ranking: 2
Auto x-mas +2
p.s. those shoes are teh suck!
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Got a pair of those, do ya? Those are the kind of shoes you only really wear AFTER you go to bed.
Yeah, this pic is so becoming my new desktop.
Submitted by mystiamoon (user info) at 2004-12-25 05:49:48 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Auto x-mas +2
p.s. those shoes are teh suck!
Submitted by Feijuada (user info) at 2004-12-25 05:49:13 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I used to have this huge chunk of silly putty made up from six small yellow eggs. It was awesome.
Submitted by Kazzerax (user info) at 2004-12-25 05:47:27 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
yay, 3 people rating each post
wait til 7 am i tell you
Submitted by Shroom (user info) at 2004-12-25 05:16:36 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by pen_name (user info) at 2004-12-25 05:12:00 (#)
Ranking: 2
i want it clear that i have no malice towards shlongy.
i'm sure he is a wonderful man.
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And what's not to be so wonderful about when you have a monstrous shlong like Shlongy. Even his name represents his massive manhood.
http://www.ubersite.com/m/55142
Or not. *snicker*
Just messin', Shlongy! Happy Christmas
Submitted by mazman23 (user info) at 2004-12-25 05:13:00 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
well spank my balls and call me randy............
Submitted by pen_name (user info) at 2004-12-25 05:12:00 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
i want it clear that i have no malice towards shlongy.
i'm sure he is a wonderful man.
Submitted by moneyshot (user info) at 2004-12-25 05:09:53 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Porn for Christmas! Yay!
Submitted by tinactin (user info) at 2004-12-25 05:08:39 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
silly putty is awesome.