How a french deaf guy singlehandedly put the cherry on top... (649 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 2 on 5 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by JP Hooktad (View user info) at 2004-12-25 23:38:48 EST
It's Christmas. I'm at work and that pisses me off, but for a reason. Add to that a bunch
of incompetent, whiny ass travellers and you have the best Christmas EVAR! Little
background. My boss planned to work all 16 hours of today's shifts. Because I'm stupid I said, "That's not right buddy, let me work at least 8 hours for you." I come into work,
already pissed because I hate Christmas and he proceeds to stay here for a few hours, then
go to a movie, then come back. Here's an idea fuckhead, I GAVE you 8 hours of today's work
day so that you could go and be with your family. Yet you are still here. Why? If you didn't
want the day off or you didn't want to be with your family or God forbid you wanted to be
at work for Christmas, you could have just told me.
So I'm here, pissed because apparently my kindness has been wasted on this workaholic, and
it gets better. I work at a hotel. There has been this deaf guy staying here for a little
while now. He's great, I have nothing against the deaf, except that they can't hear, but
every now and then he grates on my nerves. He comes up and performs extravagant gestures
to get me to give him a piece of paper, on which he writes "Is the bus open?" What the fuck
does that mean? I try to explain that I have no idea what he is talking about and he writes
"show" while pointing outside, as if that makes it all clear. It's snowing. Oh. He means
"snow". He means will the bus run tonight because it is snowing. For Godsakes, if you can't
hear and speakat least learn to write properly so that I can understand you.
I tell him yes, the bus will run. This is Canada, there may be a few inches of snow on the
ground, yes it's still falling, but we've hardly noticed. The bus will run.
Then he asks me to phone them and confirm that. Who the fuck do you think you are? I just
answered your unintelligble question and now you want me to call greyhound and sit on hold
for 20 minutes because you can't do it yourdeafself? How about take my word for it or shove
it up your ass.
He doesn't like this option. That and he couldn't hear what I said because he's deaf. I
mumbled to avoid the reading of my lips. So I call and confirm that the bus will go and
the girl on the phone actually asks me if I'm serious and if I have any other reason to
believe the bus won't go besides the pitiful amount of snow on the ground.
I give the great news to my hearing-impaired friend. He gives me a great big thumbs up and
then writes "smile" on the fucking paper he received for his interpretive dance routine
earlier. Yah. Merry Fucking Christmas. I hope your bus crashes.
Did I mention he's French? This could be why he couldn't write for shit in English. Go back
to Quebec. I don't have time to make up for any more of your unfortunate attributes.
This is getting long, so you can stop here. Unless you want to hear about the other French
guy that is staying here.
He's a crippled midget. I am not making this up. He also asks me to do things like make
phone calls for him. Last time I checked I was not a fucking babysitter or disability
worker. Can't speak the language? Should have thought of that before you travelled here.
And make up your mind, you don't want pity, you want to be treated like everyone else-
then as soon as you have to do something hard, like pick up a phone, you pull the sympathy
card. "But I walk with crutches! But I'm four feet tall! But I don't speak English! Hey
while you're calling everyone i know, could you wipe my ass?"
I don't fucking think so.
Off in an hour. Merry Christmas to me.
User Reviews
Submitted by Avals (user info) at 2004-12-26 05:59:38 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
French people suck.
Hopefully, French women will suck my dick. French women are HOT.
Submitted by Hooktad (user info) at 2004-12-26 00:21:05 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Both these guys could benefit from the cosmetic surgery of a shotgun. As could my boss.
Submitted by jayjonze (user info) at 2004-12-26 00:14:21 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I worked with a deaf guy once, when he talked he sounded like Chewbacca. So thats what we called him. He ended up killing himself. Funny, some people are actually better looking with half their face shot off...
Submitted by tech-junkie (user info) at 2004-12-26 00:12:18 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Damn.. no one's read this yet?
Christmas +2
Submitted by Hooktad (user info) at 2004-12-26 00:11:35 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Everyone must be reveling in the joy that is christmas. Or homicide.
Practically the same thing. Maybe one just induces the other.