Happy 'Boy I'm glad that wasn't us' day (2381 hits)
Category: GeneralRating: 1.59 on 25 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Tom <theubertom.at.gmail.com> (View user info) at 2004-12-26 15:44:06 EST
I am still suffering from the post traumatic election shock disorder as I sit here and write this, and I'm learning to cope. I mean, I have little outbreaks now and then. You know, I just shake my head and ask myself, "How did he do it? I've never seen a worse post-war strategy in my entire life." Well, it hit me like a ton of bricks. Who cares? Not me. The president's reelection will probably affect my life in no significant way.
I admit I still hope something happens, like someone finds all these lost ballots in Ohio, making Kerry the winner, or even better. Ralph Nader. Wait, no! That wouldn't be better! AHH!
I felt as though I was on to something with these different thought processes. I was juggling the idea, being a year and a half from 18, the concept of a draft. You'd be surprised at just how close to war we are with Iran right now, and we certainly can't tackle the threat now. It would really suck being drafted.
And that's when I decided it was time for a new holiday. It's called Boy I'm glad that wasn't us day. Boy I'm glad that wasn't us day celebrates all the bad things that have happened to other people and not you. I mean, hell, you have reason to celebrate. The nuclear attacks on Japan? The earthquakes in Bam, Iran, and the quake yesterday in Indo that has the potential to kill hundreds of thousands. You weren't there, so why not celebrate the fact? I know you're happy about it, so whip out the party gear and have a shindig.
When U2 releases their new album "The Double Plus Good U2 Song Collection of the Mega Awesome New Millennium With a Vengeance", indicating that U2 will be making music for another thousand years, some unsuspecting radio listener will win that entire set. If that's not you, why I think you have a reason to celebrate; it will be worse than anything they have ever decided to do since 1984 when they wrote "A sort of homecoming".
And Y2K! Remember how people stored up for all out nuclear war? Remember how much money they blew on it? Remember how that wasn't you? Put on your grandmother's wig and dance harder than you've ever danced before, my friends. You completely avoided being a dumbass, and it feels good.
Oh, sure, this may sound selfish, but that's what people are good at. Being selfish. It's not like you'll be celebrating that bad things happened to another person. No, that's Good Friday. This is a day where like any day, you're happy that something bad didn't happen to you. Every day, you think this, but you can't just throw a party over it. You have to wait until one special day to let all the joy out and party like you just landed on my psychedelic moon base.
So from now on, Dec. 26th, we shall celebrate all the bad things that didn't happen to us all year long. Happy boy I'm glad that wasn't us day!
User Reviews
Submitted by whataefag (user info) at 2005-01-04 16:39:37 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
boy I'm glad that we didn't get hit by a tsunami until the day you posted this.
you scare me. you ... are ... god, ... aren't you tom?
I'm shivering
Submitted by spedmonkey (user info) at 2005-01-02 19:27:04 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
GO UBERTEENS WOO!
Submitted by WillZone (user info) at 2004-12-30 17:20:40 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
can you even vote?
Submitted by Tom (user info) at 2004-12-27 05:36:25 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I swear to God, I'm worse than Ned Flanders. I'm going to be all nice and then one day, snap. The dam breaks. Everyone dies.
Cynic cynic cynic fusion fusion fusion.
Submitted by jgreening (user info) at 2004-12-27 04:02:42 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
do you people even know all the shit i been through, so dont judge me cuz im 15. i've seen alot a shit in my life you dont even know but im not going to go parading it around just to show you people up cuz im a bigger person than that!
Submitted by d_prime (user info) at 2004-12-27 00:53:48 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Good thinkin'
Submitted by The_Walrus (user info) at 2004-12-27 00:21:56 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Solid Post.
And no matter how young someone is one this site, I'm pretty sure I'm still the youngest.
14 baby, and I still won my first UberMadness bout. Take that Munkeypants.
I'm just kidding you're my hero. And I'm almost 15.... come on February....
Submitted by coley (user info) at 2004-12-26 23:34:12 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
AAHHhahah Ashlee...That was a sad stab at an insult..for a spelling typo..
I'm not sure about you Ashlee, that was funny. what job are you working now?
Submitted by QueenAshlee (user info) at 2004-12-26 23:01:53 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Yams (user info) at 2004-12-26 18:46:42 (#)
Ranking: 0
Would you care to elaborate? Is it your coveted place on the MVA? Perhaps your long, long list of posts? Or maybe, coming up on 18, you've all the knowledge in the world, and a being such as myself couldn't possibly compete with your superior intellect? The Robert Plant hair? Tell me, Tom...What makes it so innapropriate? Seriously.
I'd guess that it's because you can't spell "inappropriate."
Submitted by purringbubbles (user info) at 2004-12-26 22:48:00 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
will you marry me? (when you become legal anyway)
Submitted by munkeypants (user info) at 2004-12-26 22:04:29 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Tom (user info) at 2004-12-26 21:01:19 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Hey guy, don't worry about it. I wasn't really that angry, but I jump at the chance to dicker. Pun intended.
Submitted by Yams (user info) at 2004-12-26 20:19:45 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Oh yeah, and any time you feel the need to play the age card on me...I'm about a year older than you, so I don't have too much on you.
Submitted by Yams (user info) at 2004-12-26 20:18:47 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Tom, I apologize. Before reading your response, I will apologize. I was in a bit of a bad mood, some of those things were a bit rash, and you are not exactly deserving of them...Take this +2 along with it.
Submitted by AlwaysAnEagle (user info) at 2004-12-26 19:50:22 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Yams, I'm guessing it was the "ya spoiled asshole" part of your review, if NOTHING else, that made Tom pissed, and rightfully so. If not that, then probably the parts where you extrapolated this weird diss on the WWII draftees from his post and tried to peg him with it.
Frankly, I'm glad to see ANYONE thinking about these things, especially someone younger than me, whose chance to make a difference is coming up. It's good to see that people still pay attention, if for no reason more than political "flow" as it were.
Submitted by SullyThePirate (user info) at 2004-12-26 19:44:49 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Never flamed you, pal. I don't appreciate it.
Submitted by Tom (user info) at 2004-12-26 19:31:35 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Yams
I don't admit to being the God of knowledge, but I know when someone's being a bit rude, and you were. Did you know that, other than going overseas, you can do things to help America? Wow, sir, you can. I don't want to be drafted into a series of wars that I don't at all support, and you can't blame me for this. If this makes me selfish, unpatriotic and spoiled, then I am guilty as charged.
And I'm sure you people wouldn't dare play an age card if you didn't know my age. Trust me, I may be young but that doesn't make me ignorant. Maybe if you paid closer attention to those you insult, well, finish my sentence.
Submitted by Yams (user info) at 2004-12-26 18:46:42 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Would you care to elaborate? Is it your coveted place on the MVA? Perhaps your long, long list of posts? Or maybe, coming up on 18, you've all the knowledge in the world, and a being such as myself couldn't possibly compete with your superior intellect? The Robert Plant hair? Tell me, Tom...What makes it so innapropriate? Seriously.
Submitted by jgreening (user info) at 2004-12-26 16:41:08 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
"Because even though it wasn't me, it was someone I knew, so it's not as great as nothing" Day
Submitted by Kazzerax (user info) at 2004-12-26 16:14:56 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
awesome, now sign onto aim
Submitted by VodkaFace (user info) at 2004-12-26 16:14:47 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
This was interesting and I like the idea. +1.
Submitted by Tom (user info) at 2004-12-26 16:02:40 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Yams, don't talk down to me please. It's unbecoming.
Submitted by Genko (user info) at 2004-12-26 15:52:30 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
I'm not a dumbass; I'm still living off the cans and bottled water I bought in '99.
It's freed up money for other things, like gambling.
Submitted by Spooner (user info) at 2004-12-26 15:49:11 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
"The Double Plus Good U2 Song Collection of the Mega Awesome New Millennium With a Vengeance"
+2 for that alone. ;)
Submitted by Yams (user info) at 2004-12-26 15:49:01 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
It wasn't that good. It wasn't that bad. Probably more bad than good because you, as a citizen of the United States who cannot vote, are still bitching about an election most people have completely forgotten about. And because you're bitching about the draft. Now I'm sure it was fine for folks in WWII to be drafted, even though many of them probably thought it was the silliest thing to go over to Europe and fight for those Jews! I know I thought it was silly. But its not OK for you to be drafted? I'm sorry you might actually have to do something for the US (and, granted, Bush), ya spoiled asshole. +/-0 in the spirit of your newly created day, though. I enjoy being a pighead American!