fucked up cyber sex messages (1440 hits)
Category: HumorRating: 0 on 25 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by DyingBreed (View user info) at 2004-12-26 20:15:05 EST
dont know if any of you have heard of the infamous blood ninja....but here is a sample of his fucked up genius...
bloodninja: Ok baby, we got to hurry, I don't know how long I can keep it ready for you.
j_gurli3: thats ok. ok i'm a japanese schoolgirl, what r u.
bloodninja: A Rhinocerus. Well, hung like one, thats for sure.
j_gurli3: haha, ok lets go.
j_gurli3: i put my hand through ur hair, and kiss u on the neck.
bloodninja: I stomp the ground, and snort, to alert you that you are in my breeding territory.
j_gurli3: haha, ok, u know that turns me on.
j_gurli3: i start unbuttoning ur shirt.
bloodninja: Rhinoceruses don't wear shirts.
j_gurli3: No, ur not really a Rhinocerus silly, it's just part of the game.
bloodninja: Rhinoceruses don't play games. They fucking charge your ass.
j_gurli3: stop, cmon be serious.
bloodninja: It doesn't get any more serious than a Rhinocerus about to charge your ass.
bloodninja: I stomp my feet, the dust stirs around my tough skinned feet.
j_gurli3: thats it.
bloodninja: Nostrils flaring, I lower my head. My horn, like some phallic symbol of my potent virility, is the last thing you see as skulls collide and mine remains the victor. You are now a bloody red ragdoll suspended in the air on my mighty horn.
bloodninja: Fuck am I hard now.
bloodninja: Baby, I been havin a tough night so treat me nice aight?
BritneySpears14: Aight.
bloodninja: Slip out of those pants baby, yeah.
BritneySpears14: I slip out of my pants, just for you, bloodninja.
bloodninja: Oh yeah, aight. Aight, I put on my robe and wizard hat.
BritneySpears14: Oh, I like to play dress up.
bloodninja: Me too baby.
BritneySpears14: I kiss you softly on your chest.
bloodninja: I cast Lvl 3 Eroticism. You turn into a real beautiful woman.
BritneySpears14: Hey...
bloodninja: I meditate to regain my mana, before casting Lvl 8 Penis of the Infinite.
BritneySpears14: Funny I still don't see it.
bloodninja: I spend my mana reserves to cast Mighty of the Beyondness.
BritneySpears14: You are the worst cyber partner ever. This is ridiculous.
bloodninja: Don't fuck with me biznitch, I'm the mightiest sorcerer of the lands.
bloodninja: I steal yo soul and cast Lightning Lvl 1,000,000 Your body explodes into a fine bloody mist, because you are only a Lvl 2 Druid.
BritneySpears14: Don't ever message me again you piece of shit.
bloodninja: Robots are trying to drill my brain but my lightning shield inflicts DOA attack, leaving the robots as flaming piles of metal.
bloodninja: King Arthur congratulates me for destroying Dr. Robotnik's evil army of Robot Socialist Republics. The cold war ends. Reagan steals my accomplishments and makes like it was cause of him.
bloodninja: You still there baby? I think it's getting hard now.
bloodninja: Baby?
User Reviews
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2004-12-28 15:05:35 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by TimeCop (user info) at 2004-12-27 01:57:43 (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Phinch (user info) at 2004-12-26 20:26:58 (#)
Ranking: 0
this is the 17th time this has been posted here.
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Honestly, that sums it up. Are you going to start going deep into the uber archives, picking out posts, and then reposting them yourself, just because no on has seen them either?
Submitted by Wiggles (user info) at 2004-12-27 14:12:24 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by Electro (user info) at 2004-12-27 09:36:55 (#)
Ranking: 2
AH HA HA HA HA HA HEH HEH
Funny...
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Why does this kid's stupidity piss me off so much?
Submitted by DyingBreed (user info) at 2004-12-27 14:08:07 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
"Are you going to start going deep into the uber archives, picking out posts, and then reposting them yourself, just because no on has seen them either?"
no. why would i do that? i didnt get this from this site anyway.
Submitted by Adamdidit2u (user info) at 2004-12-27 09:48:09 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
old
Submitted by Electro (user info) at 2004-12-27 09:36:55 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
AH HA HA HA HA HA HEH HEH
Funny...
Submitted by gabrielpm (user info) at 2004-12-27 09:12:46 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Lyric (user info) at 2004-12-27 04:59:50 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
This link is relevent.
http://www.ubersite.com/m/27263
Submitted by jgreening (user info) at 2004-12-27 04:01:19 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
do you people even know all the shit i been through, so dont judge me cuz im 15. i've seen alot a shit in my life you dont even know but im not going to go parading it around just to show you people up cuz im a bigger person than that!
Submitted by jgreening (user info) at 2004-12-27 02:24:57 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Don't defend. Just post.
And post original stuff at least SOME TIME...
Submitted by TimeCop (user info) at 2004-12-27 01:57:43 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Phinch (user info) at 2004-12-26 20:26:58 (#)
Ranking: 0
this is the 17th time this has been posted here.
-----------
Honestly, that sums it up. Are you going to start going deep into the uber archives, picking out posts, and then reposting them yourself, just because no on has seen them either?
Submitted by d_prime (user info) at 2004-12-27 00:43:52 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Those were fucking hilarious.
Especially the rhino one.
Submitted by Jarvis (user info) at 2004-12-27 00:31:22 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
I've already seen this on bash.org
Submitted by CoachMagirk27 (user info) at 2004-12-27 00:13:34 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
he sure knows how to talk dirty
Submitted by Sassmasterr (user info) at 2004-12-27 00:02:16 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
seen it. still funny. but i've still seen it
Submitted by The_Walrus (user info) at 2004-12-26 23:50:10 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Ya, I've read it a million times and it never gets old.
+100000004 if you had come up with it. You didn't.
Submitted by thecaes (user info) at 2004-12-26 23:34:14 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Well, I've never seen that. I thought that was hilarious.
"Lvl 8 Penis of the Infinite." How could anyone not like that?
Submitted by DyingBreed (user info) at 2004-12-26 22:11:19 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
lol, i see how this works. i get a bunch of negatives for posting something old.
well, i thought the vid of glen danzig getting knocked the fuck out would have surely been seen by ALL of you here 3 weeks ago, but i was wrong. most of the people that rated that thread hadnt seen it. ETS here begged me to make the thread, and i was telling him the whole time that i bet you guys hadnt seen it.
either way, just say something like "last year called". that is a little more expected and cliche.
*bows before you all*
please forgive my ignorance
either way, if anyone who hasnt seen this sees it, my work is done. and i think my work may be done
Submitted by Phallic_Cymbals (user info) at 2004-12-26 22:00:09 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
older than egypt
Submitted by Jambo (user info) at 2004-12-26 21:41:57 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
That's pretty god damn funny.
Submitted by screamfeeder (user info) at 2004-12-26 21:08:33 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Here is a +1 for making me feel guilty.
But seriously.
Google bloodninja.
Its a sure bet that most people here have heard of it.
Of Course 4,789,758 people are now going to come and say "I never seen this, screamfeeder you bla bla bla bla bla"
Whatever.
Submitted by DyingBreed (user info) at 2004-12-26 21:03:47 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
hmm.....i guess thats why i started the post by saying "i dont know if any of you have heard..."
Submitted by Envenom (user info) at 2004-12-26 21:03:27 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Good stuff.
Submitted by screamfeeder (user info) at 2004-12-26 20:45:19 EST (#)
Ranking: -1
HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
Oh man I remember sharing these with Julius Ceaser right before he went off to fight the Gauls!!
WHOO boy Ceaser loves Bloodninja!! HUR HUR HUR !!!
Submitted by Phinch (user info) at 2004-12-26 20:26:58 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
this is the 17th time this has been posted here.
Submitted by Yams (user info) at 2004-12-26 20:23:09 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
This turned me on. Finally...