"The Shocker" ...my favorite technique (2409 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 1.67 on 55 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by freebie (View user info) at 2004-12-27 15:16:29 EST
Being bored enough to actually post, I'm going to let you all in on a little secret. The favorite
technique I use on my wife I like to call The Shocker.
The setup is important. It's best if she's all heated up and moist to start with. She has to be
completely unsuspecting and relaxed. Being in a vulnerable or "exposed" position also helps to
get the most out of this technique. Using the shocker right after a shower has given me the best results so far.
Now for the proper technique...putting on my fluffiest fluffy bunny slippers, a fleece pull-
over, and sweatpants, I approach slowly across the carpet. Anticipating the moment, I push back the bathroom door to see my wife in all her naked glory. Properly positioning my fingers, I apply one light touch to her ass for a ZZZAAAAPPPP of static electricity.
Before you laugh too much about my choice of clothing, you'll see how important it is during the
getaway. Hauling ass out of the bedroom and down the hall with a naked women chasing me, of course
I'll let myself be caught. Knowing full well fluffy bunny slippers have had a chance to recharge
my shocker.
User Reviews
Submitted by FuckTheArmy (user info) at 2006-11-06 22:14:57 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment
Submitted by WillZone (user info) at 2005-11-30 09:51:05 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
-2 as post was NOT advertised on uberboard.
Submitted by yermom (user info) at 2005-05-27 17:14:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Not the shocker I was thinking of, but probably less likely to get you smothered in your sleep.
Submitted by causeican (user info) at 2005-02-24 17:24:53 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
fuck you and die bitch
Submitted by RamJetMax (user info) at 2004-12-29 10:35:23 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
this will be used...soon
Submitted by xenon (user info) at 2004-12-29 09:58:37 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
this was funny for some reason
Submitted by c1ndy (user info) at 2004-12-29 08:05:47 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
you're lucky wife
Submitted by WookieSuave (user info) at 2004-12-28 18:38:07 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
zap
Submitted by Galgos27 (user info) at 2004-12-28 17:27:56 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I was so ready just to give you the minus two....hahaha....awesome...
Submitted by lnknptheory (user info) at 2004-12-28 16:21:03 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
wow, pure genius!
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2004-12-28 13:21:57 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by jayjonze (user info) at 2004-12-27 21:17:31 (#)
Ranking: 2
Tricky, Ever try to combine both "Shockers"
____
yes, now that is the kind of post Uber needs to hear about!
Submitted by Avals (user info) at 2004-12-28 11:54:22 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I gather you've told her then?
Submitted by QueenAshlee (user info) at 2004-12-28 11:44:56 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Shroom (user info) at 2004-12-28 04:59:29 (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by MickGinny (user info) at 2004-12-27 16:11:18 (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by hidden101 (user info) at 2004-12-27 15:51:56 (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Phinch (user info) at 2004-12-27 15:29:15 (#)
Ranking: 2
I was very ready to -2 this.
Submitted by freebie (user info) at 2004-12-28 09:54:32 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Zone, I didn't nor will I ever search a topic worrying if it's been done before. Thanks for your input though.
Submitted by Avals (user info) at 2004-12-28 09:36:32 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by freebie (user info) at 2004-12-28 09:08:59 (#)
Ranking: 0
Avals, you've got to be english. Brits are the only ones I know who can't take a compliment.
Now to embarrass you further, my wife liked your comment too.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
English? No, no; not even close.
Your wife is reading this, then? Tell her I can't stop thinking about her ass since I've read this post.
<ZZZZZZZAP>
Submitted by WillZone (user info) at 2004-12-28 09:15:21 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
You know you didn't invent the "shocker" right...your opening makes it sound like you claim it to be yours...maybe i'm the only one who saw that...i dunno.
This was on B@W over a year ago.
http://www.bigshocker.com/
Submitted by freebie (user info) at 2004-12-28 09:08:59 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Avals, you've got to be english. Brits are the only ones I know who can't take a compliment.
Now to embarrass you further, my wife liked your comment too.
Submitted by standardeviant (user info) at 2004-12-28 08:49:00 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Best with carpet or lenolium?
Submitted by Avals (user info) at 2004-12-28 08:34:57 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by freebie (user info) at 2004-12-27 16:10:38 (#)
Ranking: 0
No, I'm serious. I laughed my ass off at that Avals.
---------------------------------------------------------------
Oh ... well ... OK.
Sorry, this is the first time I've made anyone laugh, so I'm not really sure how to handle that kind of thing.
About the suggestion to combine both "Shocker" variaties:
You fucking better not let her catch you after THAT one.
Also, prepare to turn to your right hand for solace for the next 6 months.
Submitted by Shroom (user info) at 2004-12-28 04:59:29 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by MickGinny (user info) at 2004-12-27 16:11:18 (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by hidden101 (user info) at 2004-12-27 15:51:56 (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Phinch (user info) at 2004-12-27 15:29:15 (#)
Ranking: 2
I was very ready to -2 this.
Submitted by Death_Metal_Dude (user info) at 2004-12-28 04:29:42 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by jayjonze (user info) at 2004-12-27 21:17:31 (#)
Ranking: 2
Tricky, Ever try to combine both "Shockers"
HOLY SHIT DO IT
Submitted by shitfuck (user info) at 2004-12-28 04:17:00 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Sounds good to me.
When can I meet her?
Submitted by kizis (user info) at 2004-12-27 23:48:14 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
ha.
Submitted by thecaes (user info) at 2004-12-27 23:39:10 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
+1 for tormenting your wife with low-level electrical shocks.
+1 for not making this post about what I thought it was going to be about.
Submitted by jayjonze (user info) at 2004-12-27 21:17:31 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Tricky, Ever try to combine both "Shockers"
Submitted by Lyric (user info) at 2004-12-27 21:00:32 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
You tricked me, bastard.
Like everyone else, I was very ready to -2.
Sweet.
Submitted by Shizae (user info) at 2004-12-27 20:20:56 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by MaximusPadus (user info) at 2004-12-27 20:13:28 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by ChannelDunlap (user info) at 2004-12-27 16:23:23 (#)
Ranking: 2
For the first time in a long time, I wish I had a chick in my shower right now for reasons beyond getting laid.
------------------
wtf?
Submitted by precision (user info) at 2004-12-27 19:52:56 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
hehe...bunny slippers
Submitted by wasabi (user info) at 2004-12-27 18:21:02 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by melkorthedelerious (user info) at 2004-12-27 17:46:04 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Not sure which turns me on more, the shower scene...
or the bunny slippers.
Submitted by Ex_Lux_Astrum (user info) at 2004-12-27 17:34:27 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
I usually find that throwing the Connair 1500 watt-hair dryer into her luxurious bubble bath is a far more entertaining and effective "shocker".
Submitted by ICO (user info) at 2004-12-27 16:52:56 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
hmmm.
Submitted by beer-turtle (user info) at 2004-12-27 16:27:26 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
plus because it was not the "Shocker" I was expecting that so many college idiots seem to think is original and funny.
the whole 2 in the pink and one in the stink variety.
-Turtle
Submitted by ChannelDunlap (user info) at 2004-12-27 16:23:23 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
For the first time in a long time, I wish I had a chick in my shower right now for reasons beyond getting laid.
Also: I laughed a lot.
Submitted by Genko (user info) at 2004-12-27 16:21:50 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
This was good.
Submitted by scrumdown (user info) at 2004-12-27 16:21:05 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
+1 for my school, Wichita State University "Shockers." Thats our real mascot, the Wheat Shock
Submitted by Pentameter (user info) at 2004-12-27 16:20:03 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Very clever.
Submitted by MickGinny (user info) at 2004-12-27 16:11:18 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by hidden101 (user info) at 2004-12-27 15:51:56 (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Phinch (user info) at 2004-12-27 15:29:15 (#)
Ranking: 2
I was very ready to -2 this.
Submitted by freebie (user info) at 2004-12-27 16:10:38 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
No, I'm serious. I laughed my ass off at that Avals.
Submitted by Avals (user info) at 2004-12-27 15:53:34 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by freebie (user info) at 2004-12-27 15:32:29 (#)
Ranking: 0
Avals, that's the best summation I've ever seen.
-----------------------------------------------------------
Yeah, sorry about that and all. I just really wanted to write "Jiggly Jiggly."
Also, I find writing the word "Flee", preferably accompanied by a crude render of the subject wildly waving his arms about, perplexingly amusing.
Submitted by hidden101 (user info) at 2004-12-27 15:51:56 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Phinch (user info) at 2004-12-27 15:29:15 (#)
Ranking: 2
I was very ready to -2 this.
Submitted by vettesrule88 (user info) at 2004-12-27 15:50:39 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
The favorite technique I use on my wife I like to call The Shocker.
i was prepared to minus 2 right there
i like your version bette
Submitted by rhi (user info) at 2004-12-27 15:47:25 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by DamienX (user info) at 2004-12-27 15:33:20 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
+1 for actually bothering to do the research required to determine
what attire is most effective
+1 for admitting publically that fuzzy bunny slippers are your
weapon of choice
Submitted by freebie (user info) at 2004-12-27 15:32:29 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Avals, that's the best summation I've ever seen.
Submitted by Avals (user info) at 2004-12-27 15:31:11 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
<Water><Water><Water>
<ZAP!>
<Flee!!!>
<Jiggly Jiggly>
<ZAP!>
Submitted by Phinch (user info) at 2004-12-27 15:29:15 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I was very ready to -2 this.
Submitted by WhatTheHell (user info) at 2004-12-27 15:29:15 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
she showers naked??
WHAT A FREAK!
Submitted by MaximusPadus (user info) at 2004-12-27 15:25:01 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Adamdidit2u (user info) at 2004-12-27 15:22:53 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I am going to do this tonight, naturally I will blame you.
Submitted by Sassmasterr (user info) at 2004-12-27 15:22:42 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
or should i say, a wump-a-bump-bump
Submitted by Sassmasterr (user info) at 2004-12-27 15:21:56 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
i thought this would be some unoriginal piece of shit by some asshat who just found out what "the shocker" is. +1 for making me picture a running naked woman. mmmmmmm jiggledy jiggledy
Submitted by freebie (user info) at 2004-12-27 15:21:53 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I tried to keep the suspence up as long as I could before giving it away.
Submitted by Teephphah (user info) at 2004-12-27 15:20:18 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Unlike most of you, I am not a nut.
-- Homer Simpson
Homer's Odyssey
+2 for not being about the "Shocker" that most Uberers think of automatically.
+7,000 for bunny slippers.