A Funeral for Myself (NOT emo I promise) (1091 hits)
Category: Sound & MusicRating: 2 on 9 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Banga3386 <tanzia682.at.aol.com> (View user info) at 2004-12-28 22:09:44 EST
http://www.ubersite.com/m/55429
This brings up something I've often thought about. I don't want a funeral, if my friends and family want to have a closure giving burial ceremonial, fine but make it small. Instead of all of that I would rather have a grand party in my honor sometime after I retire. Or if I were to be given X amount of time to live, I want a huge going out bash to celebrate me and my life with all the friends and family I love (or still have). No sense in doing all this stuff for someone when they cannot be around for it to be of any use.
The concept of the wake and funeral combo is a grotesque one if you think about it. Having tea and crumpets while your friend, lover, brother, etc is laying in a box on the other side of the room decaying as the evening rages on. Why? Just sounds gross to me and I've been to many funerals.
Now I can totally understand and am all for having a Burial ceremony as long as it is tasteful. By tasteful I mean that there are no floral patterns, no proper speeches, none of that superficial crap. I say just go to the funeral home that suites your taste and use whatever theme or color scheme they have and change nothing. If you are religious and choose so, have a religious leader say something about blessing and send you off into the next world etc. then have a small few or as many as they want to have (they being the friends and family) come up and say some cool stuff about you, karaoke style. Like there are no scheduled performers but if someone feels so inclined to do so they can say whatever they want: a funny story, something nice they learned from you, you did for them, or call you an asshole. The whole ceremony, like Tinactin said, is for the benefit of the living so let them what they will.
When I was younger I made out a list of all the songs that I want played at both my wake and my funeral, even the song I want played as they lower my worm feeder into the ground. This was brought about because I went to a funeral for a friend Tim, who's mother had our friend Elizabeth pick out a number of songs to be played. She had no idea so she just grabbed some random "funeralesque" songs as well as the Titanic theme. Tim HATED that song, as did I but now if I hear it I don't think of an anorexic Canook, but instead of my friend. Even though she did the best she could, I didn't want some shit songs played at my going away party so I did it all myself. After I had everything planned out I started thinking about how it would happen and goddamnit, that sounded like an awesome party. I wanted to go to that party, especially if it was in my honor. So fuck all that, I'll just plan my own "I kick ass" party and be around to enjoy it. Now that is a good time.
The only caveat is that unless certain circumstances arise, we have no idea when our time is. But if given the opportunity, everyone should do this. Also the party should not be like the Lifetime Achievement Award "honor them before they die" but with all the intentions I mentioned earlier, plus a bonus happiness that you could have that party, despite the timing.
When my great grandmother died of Alzheimer's last year, she had the funeral and wake as usual but at the lunch afterwards, everyone was around a grand table throwing stories back and forth about things she accomplished, said, the impact she had on us, all kinds of positive stuff. My mother spoke up and said "Now this is how it should be, Rosie wouldn't want us to be sad but to get together and talk and laugh and have a great time in her honor." I thought, if only she was here to hear the kind words said about her.
User Reviews
Submitted by munkeypants (user info) at 2005-01-05 15:30:04 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by yermom (user info) at 2004-12-29 16:22:49 (#)
Ranking: 2
I have the same feelings, I want a big ass party, but I want to be propped up at the bar with sunglasses and a sombrero, and a shot in my hand, at least that way I can be part of the party
Submitted by Banga3386 (user info) at 2004-12-30 00:32:53 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
a traditional viking funeral would be the best send off if i had to have a ceremony. just suit me up in my gear, give me my steel, and float my warrior ass off into the beautiful Norwiegen sunset, OR shit Mississippi river in an inner tube wearing a leisure suit holding a broken drumstick, that's the more likely option.
Banga
Submitted by yermom (user info) at 2004-12-29 16:22:49 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I have the same feelings, I want a big ass party, but I want to be propped up at the bar with sunglasses and a sombrero, and a shot in my hand, at least that way I can be part of the party.
Submitted by electrictoothsyndrome (user info) at 2004-12-29 09:31:04 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I had to play guitar and sing at a friend's funeral once. That was one of the hardest things I've ever done.
I don't attend funerals anymore.
In fact, I won't set foot in a church anymore, period. So they better not fucking put me in one when I am dead. I don't care how much it hurts them. I am selfish like that.
If you need a traditional funeral to say goodbye to me, then you didn't know me that well to begin with.
Good subject.
Submitted by Banga3386 (user info) at 2004-12-29 01:21:14 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
this is why i envied Gibberish in a way, he knew when his time was up and could have had one of these shindigs. he is a sad man if he didn't take advantage of the situation (or made the best of it)
Banga
Submitted by coley (user info) at 2004-12-28 23:18:42 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
A man my neighbor knows is soon going to die from cancer. He and his family have planned a "living funeral" for him this weekend and plan to do all the reminiscing, goodbyes (as best you can, of course), etc in advance. What a beautiful idea..
Submitted by Ed_0150 (user info) at 2004-12-28 23:01:05 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Pentameter (user info) at 2004-12-28 22:25:47 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Right on.
Submitted by thecaes (user info) at 2004-12-28 22:15:28 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
You make a point that I've heard many times before.
But then, it's a damn good point. Nice post.