Why My Job Sucks -or- Everyone Needs To Do a "Why My Job Sucks" Post! (1951 hits)
Category: Science & EnvironmentalRating: 1.59 on 55 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Lyric (View user info) at 2004-12-29 05:48:10 EST
Yes, this is long. Quit your bitching and deal with it.
You know those days that start out bad, get progressively worse, and end with you wishing that Lacuna Inc. existed so you could just have the fucking day erased from your memory?
My day yesterday was like this, and I sincerely hope that most of you never have a day that ends like mine.
Starting out bad:
I actually woke up early enough to make a lunch, make some coffee, and leave for work with time to spare before my shift started. I stop at a set of lights, signal right, and start to floor it up a steep road. When I change to third gear, I suddenly realize that my car is off. Just... off. No warning, no nothing. I quickly start my car and get enough power to move to the side of the road before it dies again. I look outside. It's snowing, windy, icy as fuck, and I'm wearing skate shoes and black capris as part of my uniform. Oh, and I don't have a cell phone.
Wonderful.
I quickly jog back down the hill and succeed in falling on my ass on the way. I find a gas station and call my older brother. He shows up, and after 20 minutes of messing with my car, determines that it's unfixable where it is and that he'll have to get it and bring it back to his driveway to fix it. In his endeavours to find the problem with my car, he also manages to knock my coffee out of its holder and spill it all over the floor of my car. I throw a temper tantrum.
Just kidding. I only cried for a little bit.
Getting progressively worse:
So he drives me to work and I show up late and in a very bad and un-caffeinated mood. As I clock in and make my way to the Returns counter, I notice the activity around the tills is very... hostile. Not that customers in the store I work in are never hostile, it's just that they seem even more demon-like than usual.
When I get to the counter (Hi, I'm your friendly Customer Returns/Service Representative, how may I bend over and take it today?), I'm informed that our debit machines are down. Now, at this news, I laugh, although some might have confused my laughter with a sob. I did not cry again, though, dammit. I laughed. Why? Because when the debit machines are down, it does not matter that a manager or a lackey (usually me) makes an announcement over the P.A. every 10 minutes about it. It doesn't matter that signs are posted on the in doors, out doors (because some people seem to think that "OUT" really means "IN" so we cater to their stupidity), service center doors, and at every till. None of it matters because every second person will come up to the till, flash their debit card, and then ask incredulously, "Your debit is down? Are you sure?"
No. We're joking. We're holding out on everyone here BUT YOU!! YOU are the special person who gets to use your debit. Now swipe your card with triumph, swipe it like you've never swiped before!
I mean, yes. The debit's down. You have to pay with cash or credit. Please.
Every 5th person will not only somehow have missed all the announcements and signs, they will also proceed to fucking lose it on the cashier in front of them. Because, calling the cashier a fucking cunt is the magical phrase that will make the debit start running again. At least, I think that's what people seem to believe.
I curse the debit gods.
All this only serves to aggravate my already coffee-less mood. Of course, though, like the fantastic professional that I am, do I let it show? Of course not! Bring it on, motherfuckers, I can take anything you throw at me!
I wish that Lacuna Inc. existed so I could have this fucking day erased from my memory:
Three hours from the end of my shift, an eldery gentleman approaches my counter. He is smiling. I smile in return. He holds up his hands. My smile disappears faster than a Big Mac in front of an American. His left hand holds what appears to be an extremely dirty pair of underwear, and his right hand is covered in shit.
"Hello! You might want to get somebody in there," he says as he nods his head in the direction of the men's room, "because I didn't make it on time." With that statement, he walked away. I stood there disbelieving for a few seconds, and then ventured out from behind the safety of my feces-free counter. As I walked towards the bathroom, I was filled with a dread so profound that I could almost hear a funeral dirge playing over the music system just for me. Soon, too soon, I was there. The door loomed in front of me, unforgiving in its menace of hidden treasure. I knocked on the door, and got the expected no response. Holding my breath in anticipation, I pushed open the door.
Holy fucking god of all that is wrong in this world.
Can someone please tell me how a nicely-dressed, articulate, pleasant and polite older man can "not quite make it on time" and manage to get shit in the toilet, on the toilet, around the toilet, in the sink, and on the door handle?
Oh, and also about six feet up on the wall?
All I know is that I do not get paid enough money to clean up human shit that someone decided to fingerpaint with. So I did what any good employee would do.
I locked the door, put a sign on it that informed everyone it was out of order, and left it for the janitors. After I got home that evening, I promptly had a bubble bath, read a book, and went to bed. My plan was to relax before going to sleep, but the way my day went, I was surprised that my bathtub faucet didn't leak pink slime instead of water like in Ghostbusters II. I really was. The nexy day, I woke up in a surprisingly good mood, if only because I knew there was no way in fucking hell that the day could be any worse in any way than yesterday's adventures.
I'm awesome.
As an aside, I did inform my manager about the shitty state of our men's washroom, and he insisted on looking. The end result of this brilliant decision was my manager exiting the bathroom and hurling the contents of his stomach onto the floor.
And now, since I have no clever punchline to this rant of a post, here's a random and completely unrelevant camwhore of me. I don't know what look I was going for in this. Maybe I'm just trying to hypnotize you. Because you're getting sleepy... very... sleeeeeeepyyy.............. sleeeeepppp....
.....
User Reviews
Submitted by sideshow (user info) at 2005-09-08 16:19:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
This picture is okay, I like the other one better cause it's more real. You still aren't smiling though! Take Care.
Submitted by boneface (user info) at 2005-03-21 02:16:25 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by Slypher (user info) at 2005-03-20 21:12:42 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
So hot...brain melting...AIM SN?
Submitted by Anansie (user info) at 2005-03-20 17:35:11 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I hate customers. All of them. Do I come to your place of work and call you a cunt? No, I do not. So why is it ok to do it to me?
The good thing is how quickly such a bad work day can fade from your memory. You get so used to dealing with people's bullshit it doesn't bother you. Or at least that's how it is for me.
This is an old post but it was linked to another, so that's how I found it.
By the way, you're very pretty.
Submitted by oddity420 (user info) at 2005-02-07 14:42:54 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
You know. You look a lot like that chick from FUse's Uranium in that pic. And she's fucking hot.
Submitted by Flack (user info) at 2005-01-21 19:07:51 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I think the major concesus is that work sucks unless youre a superhero, rock star or big time drug pusher.
Submitted by BongZilla (user info) at 2005-01-21 18:57:43 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Bitching about your job = auto -2.
Sorry.
Submitted by Casey_Jones (user info) at 2005-01-05 18:51:43 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Awesome post. As always, looking amazing (I'm agreeing with the camp of people who think there isn't a single bad pic of you on this site). If you are EVER anywhere near the Eastern seaboard of the US, make a stop at the Jersey Shore.
Could be fun...
PS- Work sucks no matter where you are. Granted your story is a polar extreme, think karmically: someone, somewhere had the best day of work ever. Okay, I know that doesn't help at all, but give me a freakin' break; a pessimist attempting optimism will never succeed.
Stay hot.
Submitted by Banga3386 (user info) at 2004-12-31 23:29:19 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I very much so enjoyed the post but your vodka induced comment below me made me lose it.
Banga
Submitted by Lyric (user info) at 2004-12-31 23:16:27 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I QUIUT M JKOB TODAAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Tghis deservces a postt all onn it'ss oWNb!!!
morte vodka,,,,, I shalal psot my storyyr latser.
AHPYA NEW YAER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2004-12-31 20:29:04 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
hot, as always
Submitted by Envenom (user info) at 2004-12-31 16:14:26 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Because, calling the cashier a fucking cunt is the magical phrase that will make the debit start running again.
______________________________________________________
HAHA! Very funny.
The bathroom part reminded me of Dave Chapelle's popcopy skit...except that was only supposed to LOOK like someone shat all over the walls.
Great post, better pic. I agree with Mr. James.
Stay beautiful
- E
Submitted by Hooktad (user info) at 2004-12-31 12:22:23 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Do you work at Canadian Tire? If you don't, you should.
Submitted by Scott_James (user info) at 2004-12-31 03:57:54 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
You don't post nearly enough, matey.
Submitted by CaptainAmik (user info) at 2004-12-30 16:46:17 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Well there's something you don't see everyday, hot internet girl still wearing cloths, it's almost paradoxal...my world is coming apart.
Submitted by Herpes (user info) at 2004-12-30 16:37:02 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I didn't read all the replies, but I'm sure someone else agrees with me and wants to hump the fuck out of you.
Submitted by tuesdaydelay (user info) at 2004-12-30 13:58:32 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
My word. What a fine specimen of a woman.
Submitted by QueenAshlee (user info) at 2004-12-30 13:28:03 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Oh Jesus.
When I was 16, I worked at McDonald's for like a week. One day, I went to use the restroom and I smelled the unmistakeable oder of human shit. I looked around the women's restroom and saw nothing, then went back and told the manager that someone would need to check the men's room (I refused to do it on the basis of a bad experience as a hostess at Applebee's, where I learned that if men are standing at urinals doing there business, and someone knocks on the door, they will remain silent and whoever did the knocking will end up seeing at least one stranger's penis.), which is where they found the source of the smell. I was then informed that since I had noticed it first, I had to clean it up. I took off my uniform shirt and hat (I had a tank top underneath, pervs) and just walked out. I've not yet found a job that pays enough for me to accept that kind of thing as part of my job duties.
Submitted by Sideburns (user info) at 2004-12-30 03:49:14 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I'm single. You're single.
Move to the USA and marry me.
Submitted by MadScientist (user info) at 2004-12-29 20:56:30 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
You are very articulate. And sexy too.
Submitted by DonkeyOnTheEdge (user info) at 2004-12-29 20:46:20 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
What can I say? I'll tell you what. My job rules. That's about it. So... uh... about all those messages I left on your voicemail. Yeah. I was kind of in a bad place at the time. I know I came off as needy and shit. Believe me, that is not me at all. I just wanted to know where you were, what you had for breakfast, lunch and dinner. Also who you have been talking too and why you've been ignoring me in the hallways. I KNOW YOU SEE ME GIVE YOU THE HEAD NOD BUT YOU JUST LOOK AWAY. WHAT ARE YOU LOOKING AT THAT IS MORE INTERESTING THAN ME?! A TOPE COLORED WALL SUCKS ASS AND YOU KNOW IT!
But anyyyyyyyyyyway. Can you tell I'm bored?
Submitted by ruthless (user info) at 2004-12-29 17:50:26 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
It is unbelievable how beautiful you are.
And you can write. Please post more!
Submitted by Demolocke (user info) at 2004-12-29 17:30:46 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Great jugs-- post! I meant post.
Submitted by TragicKingdom (user info) at 2004-12-29 17:23:24 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
sounds like your job is just about as bad as mine lol.
Submitted by polyamorousaj (user info) at 2004-12-29 17:22:27 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Have you ever taken a bad picture of yourself?
Happy Uberversary.
Submitted by the_lone_stranger (user info) at 2004-12-29 17:15:54 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I like you.
Submitted by bob (user info) at 2004-12-29 17:12:02 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
mmm lyric.
i like my job.
Submitted by The_Great_Tom (user info) at 2004-12-29 17:08:31 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Everyone needs to do a "Why Lyric Rules" post.
Submitted by BadAssJulie (user info) at 2004-12-29 12:12:23 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I love my job sometimes but when it sucks it REALLY sucks. I work at an emergency animal hospital and it either smells like death or shit, I come home almost every fucking day with blood all over my clothes (I was pulled over for speeding once and the cop thought I'd murdered someone), a few times when I've had to assist in surgery there was a leak in the trach tube or hose or something and I almost passed out from the anesthetic gas, I've had 200lb dogs step on my feet, I've had to help lift big dogs that are unable to walk, I've had to try to restrain big ass dogs by myself only to be kocked over or slamed into something. There are also the mean motherfuckers that always try to bite or scratch you. I'd have to say mean ass cats are the worst though. They're crazy bastards. There's much more but I figure this is long enough.
Submitted by tinactin (user info) at 2004-12-29 11:19:44 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I swear to god, when I was 16 I had a fast food job and someone violated the restroom in an identical manner. I threated to quit rather than clean it up.
Oh yeah, and nice rack.
Submitted by Adamdidit2u (user info) at 2004-12-29 09:45:10 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
You look like a girl I dated in high school, you're name isn't really Julie is it?
Oh yea and the post was good too.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2004-12-29 09:31:48 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
A) I wasn't begging, asswipe
2) I certainly wasn't asking for pictures.
We just got one.
Submitted by WhatTheHell (user info) at 2004-12-29 09:24:05 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Nice rack.
Was that SHLONGY begging for sex ??
....veeeeeeeeeeery interesting.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2004-12-29 09:21:06 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Whattya say that you and me blow on out of this pop stand and go fuck each other until one of us passes out, OK toots?
Submitted by freebie (user info) at 2004-12-29 09:17:05 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Nice and entertaining.
Submitted by funk_boy (user info) at 2004-12-29 08:57:09 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I hate my job. So i quit. Now i have no job.
humina humina
Tasty lady.
Submitted by Donitsu2002 (user info) at 2004-12-29 08:43:30 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
join the "i hate my job" club, it's very prestigious.
Submitted by Teephphah (user info) at 2004-12-29 08:39:24 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Yowza.
Submitted by Badlands (user info) at 2004-12-29 08:24:30 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Great Cans...
I mean story. Yeah. Seriously. Great story.
Submitted by BLITZKREIG_BOB (user info) at 2004-12-29 08:21:23 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Wow. What a shitty day.
Submitted by Avals (user info) at 2004-12-29 08:17:05 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Holy fuck! Hot AND funny!
I want to have your man-babies!
What?
Submitted by TheSpook (user info) at 2004-12-29 08:14:04 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Old men shitting everywhere...awesome. Good story, nice pick, "shitty" day.
I'm hypnotized, that's for sure.
Submitted by knucklesnelson (user info) at 2004-12-29 07:50:43 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Nice rack, the story was pretty good too, but like I said NICE RACK, the last time i saw a couple of jug's like that a hillbilly was blowin in em.
Submitted by MyNameIsTim (user info) at 2004-12-29 07:36:17 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
you need a hug.
i hate my job too...
Submitted by Shroom (user info) at 2004-12-29 07:24:43 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
......now
Submitted by Shroom (user info) at 2004-12-29 07:24:32 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Hey, maybe she doesn't even need to be drunk...maybe...
Ok, I'll stop looking for reasons to +2 this post......
Submitted by Shroom (user info) at 2004-12-29 07:23:39 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
for our enjoyMENT...ugh...4:30am is not my time of the day...
Submitted by Shroom (user info) at 2004-12-29 07:22:46 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I think *every* one of Lyrics posts should contain a camwhore.
Who knows, maybe one day she'll be completely wasted and post some nudes for our enjoy...maybe...
hey, I can dream, can't I?
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2004-12-29 07:09:07 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
<ejaculates>
Submitted by Lyric (user info) at 2004-12-29 06:15:36 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I would also like to announce that today is my one-year anniversary of being registered on Ubersite.
I accept flowers, massages, home-cooked meals, and alcohol as congratulatory gifts.
Thank you.
Submitted by Lyric (user info) at 2004-12-29 06:03:12 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I think this fits with science and environmental because it's a poop story.
Poop is sort of related to environmental things, like "Free the Fertilizer!" and stuff like that, right?
Or, I closed my eyes and randomly picked a category. I know. I suck. You can spank me now.
Please?
Submitted by Ainkara (user info) at 2004-12-29 06:01:22 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
If I actually had a job, I might say it sucked. But I don't. I feel bad for you though
Submitted by gabrielpm (user info) at 2004-12-29 06:00:47 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Hello, sexy!
Submitted by Kazzerax (user info) at 2004-12-29 05:57:59 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
yeah...so...how's this fit with science and enviornmental?
Submitted by Stin (user info) at 2004-12-29 05:57:12 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Works sucks, but you got a cracking rant out of it and you are goddamn gorgeous.
Bitch!