Uber has let me down for the 9,341,052.8th time! (767 hits)
Category: RomanceRating: 0.4 on 10 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by SlowlyRotting <therickva.at.yahoo.com> (View user info) at 2004-12-29 16:59:06 EST
Not a single "Tsunami linked to Bush administration" post...
Anyway.
You liberal hacks are slacking. Is this place all of a sudden a right-wing conspiracy board? Fuck! Next thing you know, there will be Hillary hate posts and Ted Kennedy photochops.
I just want to go home. When there is nothing to do at work I always get this little sparkle in my eye as I think about all the brainwashed leftist hippies I could piss off just by throwing a few 'silent majority' slanted sentences their way. I've managed to avoid stirring up your precious little gay chat-board by staying busy making money and helping my wife carry a baby in her belly. P.S. for all you parents who've had to refrain from sex because of placenta privia... I feel ya. Luckily as of the doctor visit yesterday it's clear now so I can resume proking my wife instead of my hand.
I just thank God I'm too busy --chasing negroes off my front porch and trying to slowly overthrow the government and destroy the IRS by overcharging them .0001 cents for every pointless transaction they make with me-- to be able to sit back, eat fritos & bean dip while I watch the 100,000+ tsunami & earthquake victims' misery on every fucking channel. It's a horrible thing, but what the fuck can you do? Why are we still obsessed with dirty laundry? I can drive 30 minutes to DC and see a bunch of dead bodies if that's my thing, after all as many Americans got killed there last year than in Iraq. My only answer for the Earthquake? God must be mad at those damn Buddhists. They should read Exodus.
Speaking of politics... Why is it that I can't seem to find any liberal men that aren't pussies, yet I can't find a single conservative woman who isn't a closet horse cock sucker? All women should be liberals and all men conservatives. That way, you could end all con. v. lib. arguments by pimp-slappin' that hoe. You'd have to deal with a few lard-ass republican assholes and a few short-haired democratic dykes, but it would all work itself out in the end. Look at Arnold & Maria. By the year 2016 the Republican party is going to support abortion and denounce all war anyway.
By the way, for those who didn't know it, George Carlin is a has been. I've never been to Vegas, never want to unless someone else is paying, yet you've got to be a fucking idiot to bite the hand that feeds you until it bleeds. His career was choking on a giant leg-bone so he figured he could mooch off the rich bitches that frequent the asshole of the American desert aka Las Venturas, then he turns around and basically tells them they are stupid for paying money to see him? Well, at least I agree with him.
I paid $12 + 2 drink minimum to see Rich Vos in Tyson's Corner before he made it to Last Comic Standing and I still thought I got jacked. And he was funny as shit. He can't top Jay Mohr, Bruce Bruce, Mitch Hedberg, etc. Chris Rock used to have it, but this last show I saw was about as funny as catching your mom having sex with your little brother. I can't tell you from experience since my mom is as gay as Ellen, but maybe if I had a sister...
These fuckers I live with in the Broadlands are stuck the fuck up. They're building a Wendy's near the neighborhood and people are all worked up about it. SHUT THE FUCK UP! Now when you are hungry at 8pm there will actually be something open. Even the grocery stores here close at 10pm. Forget about finding a hooker or crack dealer out past 11:30... they have curfews after all.
Fuck it. Time to go home. Half-day tomorrow too. Woo to the motherfuckin' woo.
User Reviews
Submitted by Zoidberg (user info) at 2004-12-30 00:16:28 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Congrats on your wife being pregnant.
Have they found the father yet?
Submitted by TheSpook (user info) at 2004-12-29 22:32:14 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Speak again when your head comes out of your ass.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2004-12-29 20:34:13 EST (#)
Ranking: -1
I can't decide so to be safe..have a minus one.
Submitted by BLITZKREIG_BOB (user info) at 2004-12-29 20:21:22 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
It seems that they're all in hiding...or they all went someplace else top-secret.
Submitted by gabrielpm (user info) at 2004-12-29 17:58:51 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by EPatrick (user info) at 2004-12-29 17:07:36 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Well put.
Submitted by tech-junkie (user info) at 2004-12-29 17:06:38 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
HAHAHA! I was wondering the same thing
Submitted by Tigre (user info) at 2004-12-29 17:04:38 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
+2 for being wrong.
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2004-12-29 17:03:40 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
+1 for the pic
Submitted by MaximusPadus (user info) at 2004-12-29 17:01:01 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
+2 for the number 9,341,052.8