My band is the shit & it sucks that this is the end of it all! (513 hits)
Category: NewsRating: -1.64 on 13 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Maryland Parkway Project (View user info) at 2004-12-31 18:25:49 EST
I love my band!
We kick unholy ass!
Here is to all the people that maid us a band.
I want to thank Mr. Earl T. Layton our drummer & driver (because you know we can never drive home after a gig with out you bro) ET your the shits man!
I want to thank our guitar player Mr. Gary D. Fetting (with out your thoughts we all would have been lost) you are the coolest fucker I know man!
Look em all up at http://www.moonandeye.com
Or
http://www.caridell.com
http;//www.lvjambandsociety.com
http://www.acousticroutes.com wonderful acoustic music from everywhere!
http://www.Commercialwhore.com
http://www.Alistersaid.com
http://www.shadygroove.com
http://www.nancygood.com
http://www.Corblundband. com
http://www.Michaelsoli.com
http://www.AcousticAsylum.net
http://www.annedonohuemusic.com
http://www.songscraft.com Dan Blackerby and Amistad
http://www.Poppermost.com A wealth of info, check it out.
http://www.yvonneramage.com
http://www.Cherryhillband.com
http://www.briankeefe.com
www.roadsideprophets.net download free music!
www.8-TrackRomeo.com
www.john-windsor.com (site down)
http://www.jambrotherluke.com
http://www.dylanmoses.com
www.casadicanto.com
www.homegrownmusic.net
www.theheatherlands.com
www.doubledeucestudios.com
User Reviews
Submitted by shitfuck (user info) at 2005-01-05 11:17:02 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
That's hilarious you listed Corb Lund, I'm close friends with him as I've grown up with him here in Edmonton.
He would absolutley say 'you guys suck'.
Teenage angst.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2005-01-01 21:14:29 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
what the hell man if they are comin at you , means they want somthin ,more better you look after them and care for them ,than they get on the street uh?
Submitted by Dustbrother (user info) at 2005-01-01 15:15:53 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
What the fuck were you thinking?
Spamming in Ubersite?
Idjet.
-2
DIE.
Submitted by TheSpook (user info) at 2005-01-01 11:54:13 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Nice band name, fag.
Submitted by jgreening (user info) at 2005-01-01 11:51:04 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
OK, this was spammed on my last post for WHAT reason?
And it wasn't even linkwhoring, it was a copy paste 4 fucking times...
Fucking idiot...
Submitted by Sachi (user info) at 2004-12-31 23:01:08 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
i can sing and i am a hottie..can i be in your band?
Submitted by Joemama (user info) at 2004-12-31 22:35:42 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
If you've read down to this line........
I can't help you.
Submitted by Chronicles_of_College_Guy (user info) at 2004-12-31 19:21:40 EST (#)
Ranking: -1
Did you need to spam my post?
Submitted by Yams (user info) at 2004-12-31 18:45:25 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Once a friend of mine had surgery on his nutsack. It was stitched shut afterwards, and he was told no sexual activity for the next three weeks. As luck would have it, his nurse was the picturesque babe, the type a doctor might fuck while removing a bladder or something. Poor guy...after a week he couldn't stop himself. When he busted a nut, he busted a nut. Have you ever seen a testicle inside out? He obtained a picture of it, and I enjoyed it more than your post.
Just kidding, I think I saw that on Uber somewhere a long time ago. -2 DIE!
Submitted by germy (user info) at 2004-12-31 18:39:38 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by Captain_Foamy (user info) at 2004-04-04 05:46:28 (#)
Ranking: 2
Braum gooman poopy
Submitted by Captain_Foamy (user info) at 2004-04-04 05:46:04 (#)
Ranking: 2
My buddy Braum
Submitted by Captain_Foamy (user info) at 2004-04-04 05:45:30 (#)
Ranking: 2
"I have mastered the minor scale" matt tague
Submitted by Captain_Foamy (user info) at 2004-04-04 05:44:48 (#)
Ranking: 2
triliad I challenge you to a duel
Submitted by Captain_Foamy (user info) at 2004-04-04 05:44:23 (#)
Ranking: 2
Domenad sucks bum
Submitted by Captain_Foamy (user info) at 2004-04-04 05:44:00 (#)
Ranking: 2
Zippa dip dippa do
Submitted by Captain_Foamy (user info) at 2004-04-04 05:43:38 (#)
Ranking: 2
Tenacious C
Submitted by Captain_Foamy (user info) at 2004-04-04 05:43:17 (#)
Ranking: 2
i will cream you in a footrace
Submitted by Captain_Foamy (user info) at 2004-04-04 05:42:49 (#)
Ranking: 2
the uberverse is in peril
Submitted by Captain_Foamy (user info) at 2004-04-04 05:42:23 (#)
Ranking: 2
If this happens it will change ubersite forever
Submitted by Captain_Foamy (user info) at 2004-04-04 05:41:51 (#)
Ranking: 2
Uber-revolution
Submitted by Captain_Foamy (user info) at 2004-04-04 05:41:27 (#)
Ranking: 2
shake your tail feathers
Submitted by Captain_Foamy (user info) at 2004-04-04 05:40:54 (#)
Ranking: 2
in baseball, in life
Submitted by Captain_Foamy (user info) at 2004-04-04 05:40:19 (#)
Ranking: 2
Foamy will strike you out
Submitted by Captain_Foamy (user info) at 2004-04-04 05:39:52 (#)
Ranking: 2
Funk Master
Submitted by Captain_Foamy (user info) at 2004-04-04 05:39:30 (#)
Ranking: 2
Welcome to Ubersite
Submitted by Captain_Foamy (user info) at 2004-04-04 05:39:09 (#)
Ranking: 2
Sleep walker walk in your sleep
Submitted by Captain_Foamy (user info) at 2004-04-04 05:38:42 (#)
Ranking: 2
My uber- My account- Submit- Logout
Submitted by Captain_Foamy (user info) at 2004-04-04 05:37:59 (#)
Ranking: 2
Rank this item
Submitted by Captain_Foamy (user info) at 2004-04-04 05:37:38 (#)
Ranking: 2
its not a race its a marathon
Submitted by Captain_Foamy (user info) at 2004-04-04 05:36:57 (#)
Ranking: 2
change your sheets
Submitted by Captain_Foamy (user info) at 2004-04-04 05:36:36 (#)
Ranking: 2
Foamy knows where you sleep
Submitted by Captain_Foamy (user info) at 2004-04-04 05:35:11 (#)
Ranking: 2
Mestiny's vision is coming to life!
Submitted by Captain_Foamy (user info) at 2004-04-04 05:34:37 (#)
Ranking: 2
This is like a metaphor for a virus
Submitted by Captain_Foamy (user info) at 2004-04-04 05:34:00 (#)
Ranking: 2
Razor stole my busciut
Submitted by Captain_Foamy (user info) at 2004-04-04 05:33:37 (#)
Ranking: 2
Some people make busciuts some peole try to take um
Submitted by Captain_Foamy (user info) at 2004-04-04 05:33:10 (#)
Ranking: 2
Hairmetal missed its boat
Submitted by Captain_Foamy (user info) at 2004-04-04 05:32:44 (#)
Ranking: 2
Extreme missed their cab
Submitted by Captain_Foamy (user info) at 2004-04-04 05:32:09 (#)
Ranking: 2
Extreme blew there wad
Submitted by Captain_Foamy (user info) at 2004-04-04 05:31:30 (#)
Ranking: 2
Dave lost his hairline, but you lost your cool, buddy
Submitted by Captain_Foamy (user info) at 2004-04-04 05:30:57 (#)
Ranking: 2
"Sammy Hagar is this what you wanted man?"
Submitted by Captain_Foamy (user info) at 2004-04-04 05:30:06 (#)
Ranking: 2
I'm going for the fucking gold
Submitted by Captain_Foamy (user info) at 2004-04-04 05:29:35 (#)
Ranking: 2
You can do it rock, keep posting
Submitted by germy (user info) at 2004-12-31 18:39:09 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by Captain_Foamy (user info) at 2004-04-04 05:28:50 (#)
Ranking: 2
Oscar De La Hoya sold me my apron?
Submitted by Captain_Foamy (user info) at 2004-04-04 05:28:17 (#)
Ranking: 2
Buddy Lembeck in commercials?
Submitted by Captain_Foamy (user info) at 2004-04-04 05:27:49 (#)
Ranking: 2
Bob Dylan in commercials?
Submitted by Captain_Foamy (user info) at 2004-04-04 05:27:08 (#)
Ranking: 2
I'll punch you
Submitted by Captain_Foamy (user info) at 2004-04-04 05:26:40 (#)
Ranking: 2
dirty sanchez
Submitted by Captain_Foamy (user info) at 2004-04-04 05:26:18 (#)
Ranking: 2
I cant be stopped
Submitted by Captain_Foamy (user info) at 2004-04-04 00:01:18 (#)
Ranking: 2
stink bucket
Submitted by Captain_Foamy (user info) at 2004-04-04 00:00:47 (#)
Ranking: 2
Trilaids dentist told him to go home!
Submitted by Captain_Foamy (user info) at 2004-04-04 00:00:16 (#)
Ranking: 2
Scott Bacula was uber-badass in Quantum Leap!
Submitted by Captain_Foamy (user info) at 2004-04-03 23:59:24 (#)
Ranking: 2
Your mom pre-heats the oven before she goes to bed
Submitted by Captain_Foamy (user info) at 2004-04-03 23:58:35 (#)
Ranking: 2
F
Submitted by Captain_Foamy (user info) at 2004-04-03 23:58:15 (#)
Ranking: 2
A
Submitted by Captain_Foamy (user info) at 2004-04-03 23:57:51 (#)
Ranking: 2
R
Submitted by Captain_Foamy (user info) at 2004-04-03 23:57:28 (#)
Ranking: 2
T
Submitted by Captain_Foamy (user info) at 2004-04-03 23:56:52 (#)
Ranking: 2
Joe stalin tell people when to die not how to spell
dont judge me
Submitted by Captain_Foamy (user info) at 2004-04-03 23:56:17 (#)
Ranking: 2
The prolatairiat loved it!
Submitted by Captain_Foamy (user info) at 2004-04-03 23:55:34 (#)
Ranking: 2
You could put it in your ass butt not your mouth
Submitted by Captain_Foamy (user info) at 2004-04-03 23:54:54 (#)
Ranking: 2
He made a clay thermometer, it took perfect temperatures!
Submitted by Captain_Foamy (user info) at 2004-04-03 23:53:46 (#)
Ranking: 2
Joe Stalin was in my pottery class! HE ROCKED THE HOUSE
Submitted by Captain_Foamy (user info) at 2004-04-03 23:52:51 (#)
Ranking: 2
Triliad!
Submitted by Captain_Foamy (user info) at 2004-04-03 23:49:11 (#)
Ranking: 2
Triliad I will fart in your toaster and make you a bagel!
Submitted by Captain_Foamy (user info) at 2004-04-03 23:48:23 (#)
Ranking: 2
Crack cocaine stole my couch
Submitted by Captain_Foamy (user info) at 2004-04-03 23:47:54 (#)
Ranking: 2
Sammy Davis Jr. Used to get his ass kicked
By Sammy Davis
Submitted by Captain_Foamy (user info) at 2004-04-03 23:46:45 (#)
Ranking: 2
Fucked up Dog wrote the last book you read!
Submitted by Captain_Foamy (user info) at 2004-04-03 23:45:40 (#)
Ranking: 2
Nice shirt, fag
Submitted by Captain_Foamy (user info) at 2004-04-03 23:45:10 (#)
Ranking: 2
Africa is shaped like a dick! dicks are funny
Submitted by Captain_Foamy (user info) at 2004-04-03 23:44:29 (#)
Ranking: 2
I just farted into my dial-up and e-mailed it to you
Submitted by Captain_Foamy (user info) at 2004-04-03 23:43:10 (#)
Ranking: 2
Dr. BigBallz is a great fucking doctor
Submitted by Captain_Foamy (user info) at 2004-04-03 23:42:30 (#)
Ranking: 2
I farted in your Advil bottle!
Submitted by Captain_Foamy (user info) at 2004-04-03 23:41:08 (#)
Ranking: 2
you grammy gave me dick lice!
It was worth it
I totally fucked her
Submitted by Captain_Foamy (user info) at 2004-04-03 23:39:28 (#)
Ranking: 2
Sienfeld Good Show!
Crocadile Hunter BEST SHOW!
Submitted by Captain_Foamy (user info) at 2004-04-03 23:38:40 (#)
Ranking: 2
Kurt Vonagut was cool, Kurt Angle is cooler!
Submitted by Captain_Foamy (user info) at 2004-04-03 23:37:53 (#)
Ranking: 2
If Danzig was president it would be illegal to watch Golden Girls!
God Danzig Rocks!
Submitted by Captain_Foamy (user info) at 2004-04-03 23:36:27 (#)
Ranking: 2
Candy is for Kids
Candy-grams are for fags
Submitted by Captain_Foamy (user info) at 2004-04-03 23:35:37 (#)
Ranking: 2
Old Yeller made me cry
It also made me want to punch dogs, HARD!
Submitted by Captain_Foamy (user info) at 2004-04-03 23:34:33 (#)
Ranking: 2
If I could punch 3 people , 2 of them would be YOU!
Submitted by Captain_Foamy (user info) at 2004-04-03 23:33:51 (#)
Ranking: 2
Tony Danza stole my heart!
Submitted by Captain_Foamy (user info) at 2004-04-03 23:33:22 (#)
Ranking: 2
John Rocker stole my briefcase!
Submitted by Captain_Foamy (user info) at 2004-04-01 20:12:07 (#)
Ranking: 2
Update: Foamy created 3 posts in 3 hours hes on a roll!
Submitted by Captain_Foamy (user info) at 2004-04-01 17:48:40 (#)
Ranking: 2
Captain FOamy has a mother fucking screen name hide you ass babies, its on!
Submitted by germy (user info) at 2004-12-31 18:36:56 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
True story.
I was in grad school in Sydney, living on campus. There were two Danish guys in the dorm, Mike and Lasse, who had kept in contact with some Danish girls who were going to another university out in the sticks, around dairy and emu farms. Since I didn't have any family around, and had no money to fly home for the holidays, they were nice enough to invite me to their little Scandanavian Christmas.
Things started out great. I was the only non-Dane in the room, but everyone was so nice, I was really starting to feel welcome. Then they prepared the Gluck.
If you don't know what it is (as I didn't then), let me explain: Gluck is a traditional Danish holiday drink made from hot wine, but there are spices and nuts and rasins and shit in there too. I guess you have to have been raised on it, because I could barely choke it down. But since I was a guest, I did my best to smile and swallow. I drank entirely too much of it. ENTIRELY too much.
Later on that night, after everyone was a bit lopsided, the American bashing started. Not mean spirited, or anything, but needling just the same. You know, things like, "Why do you love war so much?", "Why are Americans so fat?", and "What makes you think cow tipping is so funny?"
I was trying, without much effort or success, to defend myself. I explained that I didn't think cow tipping was particularly funny, and that I had never actually been cow tipping. So of course Mike and Lasse start screaming, "Let's do it! I want to see an American tip a cow! That would be funny as hell!"
I said Fuck no, I'm not tipping a cow, but everyone was really into it, and Mike and Lasse said that they'd go with me and tip as well. In my drunken mindset, it started to make more and more sense to me, so I reluctantly said Okay.
So we went out into a field that has maybe six or seven cows in it, and Goddamn if Mike didn't pick out the fucking biggest cow. He said, "Tip that one. Just walk up to it an push it over." Are you fucking kidding me? The cow must have weighed 500 pounds. There was no way I was going to just push it over. I said as much to Lasse, and he said, "Okay, get a running start."
Well all right...that made much more sense...I got about 50 feet away from the cow and took off. I got up a good head of steam, and ducked my shoulder at the last minute for the best impact. I even aimed high for the best leverage possible.
Lessons learned from that experience:
1. Cows are fucking heavy.
2. Cows are fucking hard as rocks.
3. I am fucking stupid.
I just about fractured my clavicle, and the cow shuffled over about half a step and walked off, leaving my stupid, drunk ass whimpering in the mud. The rest of the cows woke up and sort of wandered off. Mike and Lasse were pissing themselves in laughter. I picked myself up off the ground and resigned myself to taking the walk of shame back into the house.
As we were walking back, we passed a Momma cow and her little calf. I don't know anything about animal husbandry, but I guess the calf was maybe a year old. Cutest little thing. Mike pushed the calf over. He didn't say anything, didn't look to Lasse or myself for approval, just suddenly pushed him over. And started laughing like a lunatic.
The Momma cow freaked out. She gave a scary ass cow scream, which I had never heard before and hope to God in heaven that I never hear again. Jesus Christ, I nearly shit myself. I had no idea that a cow could make a horror-movie scream like that. Then the cow charged. Fuck, you never saw three drunks run like that. Suddenly, I remembered a joke from my childhood. Something about running from a hungry bear: I don't have to be faster than the bear, I just have to be faster than you.
Lessons learned from that experience:
1. Cows are fucking scary fast.
2. Drunk people can't run.
I was clearly in the lead, running back toward the fence. I hopped nimbly over (har har) and promptly spewed all over myself. Purple fluid, nuts and raisins came shooting out of my mouth like the pie eating contest in "Stand By Me". It was evidently quite spectacular.
Mike came over next, but it was obvious that Lasse wasn't going to make it. I guess he thought he was being chased by a bear, because he decided to fall down and play dead, but it was clear the cow wasn't to be had so easily. She stopped, rolled Lasse over with her nose, and started sniffing him. For a minute I thought his ruse was going work. Then the calf trotted over, and I swear, with God as my witness, monkey-stomped Lasse in the nutsack. Then the Momma and baby just walked away. Lasse projectile vomited in a fashion very similar to my own. Mike and I stood there, open-mouthed, disbelieving.
We never spoke of the incident again.
User Reviews
Submitted by Degreeless_Capibara (user info) at 2004-12-16 23:38:06 (#)
Ranking: 0
Sorry, wrong post. http://www.ubersite.com/m/53924
Submitted by Degreeless_Capibara (user info) at 2004-12-16 23:27:40 (#)
Ranking: 2
Badass Austrian Pigs: http://www.ubersite.com/m/53601
Submitted by hellacious (user info) at 2004-12-15 22:54:31 (#)
Ranking: 1
No Comment
Submitted by Arm_The_Homeless (user info) at 2004-12-09 16:59:30 (#)
Ranking: 2
I just realized that I've read this story three times and never rated it. God, I'm a penis.
Submitted by lovetohate (user info) at 2004-12-09 16:49:28 (#)
Ranking: 2
Thats awesome as fucking hell.
Submitted by bargled (user info) at 2004-12-05 19:50:25 (#)
Ranking: 2
this is almost as funny as this:
http://www.ubersite.com/m/53179
and this:
http://www.ubersite.com/m/53250
but good try.
Submitted by Wonket (user info) at 2004-12-05 19:36:25 (#)
Ranking: 2
That is amazing.
Submitted by will72 (user info) at 2004-11-28 10:38:22 (#)
Ranking: 2
soccer moms do the same thing
Submitted by Wuzi (user info) at 2004-11-24 22:17:36 (#)
Ranking: 2
"..... Then the calf trotted over, and I swear, with God as my witness, monkey-stomped Lasse in the nutsack. Then the Momma and baby just walked away. Lasse projectile vomited in a fashion very similar to my own. Mike and I stood there, open-mouthed, disbelieving."
Fucking great man!!!
Submitted by Pringles4eva (user info) at 2004-11-09 23:15:16 (#)
Ranking: 0
http://www.ubersite.com/m/38535
Submitted by Random Joe at 2004-11-08 23:46:16 (#)
Ranking: 0
http://www.freephotoiPods.com/?r=11667665
Submitted by Snark (user info) at 2004-12-31 18:31:05 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
What the crap?