New Years? They should call it Poo Years...because 'poo' rhymes with 'new'...kinda (872 hits)
Category: GeneralRating: 1.1 on 13 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Squijee <geoffrstone.at.hotmail.com> (View user info) at 2005-01-01 03:11:41 EST
Why do we celebrate the new year? It's the passage of time. It's not an achievement of any note. It's not like passing a gallstone, which should be highly praised.
It represents a milestone. It's not a milestone for any of us, though. Not only that, but it is an inevitable milestone that will occur every 12 months until Superman starts spinning the Earth the opposite way again. What's there to celebrate in that? Essentially, what we are doing is celebrating the absence of Superman. What sort of people does that make us? I'll tell you. Bad people.
Even still, every year most of us will make some sort of plan to ring in the new year in style, where 'style' actually means 'loud, obnoxious, drunken debauchery'. However, many of us, as I did, will stop and think to ourselves 'I don't want my life to be like it is.'
I've just found out that a guy I was friends with a couple of years ago has had his life support turned off after suffering a brain aneurysm, on the evening of December 31st.
I'm not going to change my life hugely. I don't have the courage. But it makes my new year resolution of 'Be Happy' seem so much more important.
User Reviews
Submitted by fishgenie (user info) at 2005-01-29 05:56:12 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
"Essentially, what we are doing is celebrating the absence of Superman."
Submitted by GONADS (user info) at 2005-01-15 00:59:42 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by TheSpook (user info) at 2005-01-01 11:50:07 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
So we can get drunk and act like idiots.
Submitted by seanfogy (user info) at 2005-01-01 06:10:18 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
i love you
Submitted by Joemama (user info) at 2005-01-01 05:40:28 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Missed +2 only because of superman.
Submitted by HatMan (user info) at 2005-01-01 04:36:08 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Polish bikeride. That's all I'm saying.
Submitted by Death_Metal_Dude (user info) at 2005-01-01 04:35:29 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
holky foucukingn shitt SCOTHCC UFKCER SCOTcCHHHH
Submitted by Squijee (user info) at 2005-01-01 04:31:58 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Cheers, Hitman.
Hope you had a good night.
Submitted by HatMan (user info) at 2005-01-01 04:24:21 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Ah, dude - I just noticed it's your first post too. Welcome to Ubersite, ya sumbitch monkeyfucker.
Die.
Submitted by HatMan (user info) at 2005-01-01 04:22:03 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
This post was brilliant. It was short enough to be read by the more inebriated of those among us tonight, yet funny enough to make those of us who gave their word to stop at 10 still laugh. You also earn points because you could have made this post very, very whiney and you didn't. I love you man.
Submitted by Socialist_Joe (user info) at 2005-01-01 03:24:55 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
i hate superman though. fuck superman. i'm going to celebrate everyday that superman is not around.
Submitted by chipolatte (user info) at 2005-01-01 03:20:10 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
+1 because the word "poo" always makes me giggle. Just say it aloud: POO
And happy Poo-year? Clever for a four year old, but it does make me smile.
Submitted by Ed_0150 (user info) at 2005-01-01 03:13:46 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
" Why do we celebrate the new year? It's the passage of time. It's not an achievement of any note. It's not like passing a gallstone, which should be highly praised. "
Its an excuse to hit the piss...