Only Criminals have to call me officer (1262 hits)
Category: NoneRating: -0.29 on 60 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Big Willie Style (View user info) at 2005-01-03 15:48:56 EST
Since everyone seems to be posting rules for living today, I thought I would give it a try.
Have you ever been in a store and been followed by a security guard, either uniformed or in plain clothes? Have you ever been in a mall and had the same thing happen to you? Have you ever wondered why? Probably because you are acting stupid.
For the past five years, I have been working my way through school as a private security officer. Allow me to clairify the difference between a private security officer, and a rent-a-cop. A private security officer usually carries a firearm, and all the equipment to do the job of a police officer. In many states, they can make arrests and in a few they can write court summons. Either way, when you go to court on a charge, the arresting officer is the security officer. A rent-a-cop/flashlight cop/security guard, usually doesn't carry anything stronger than pepper spray, they cannot make arrests, and they serve no other purpose but to look pretty.
The way of the world, at least in the current area that I live in, is to hire security officers in apartment complexes. We are given the athourity to enforce the state laws, and the community laws. This is where it gets interesting, because people are stupid. They mindlessly sign a lease for an apartment, and they fail to notice that there are certian standards of behavior they have to adhere to for the safety of everyone that lives in the complex. And it is my job, to enforce them.
Now, I realize a lot of you have had run-ins with security officers. I'm going to give you a little tip. We don't give a shit about you. Most security officers recieve very low pay to work in such hazardous areas. I personally don't give two and a half shits about anyone, or what they do. But, I have to do what I'm paid to do, and typically I only do my job, when someone is stupid enough to do something right in front of me.
Which brings me to rule number 1: The stupidest shit will get you locked up.
How much trouble is it to put your alcohol in a cup when you want to drink it outside? How much trouble is it to take your illegal activities inside the house where I can't see it? My most common arrest is possession of marijuania. Why? Because people want to sit out on their patio and smoke up.
2. Don't yell at me.
Most of the time, unless you're a complete retard, or you just jumped off the boat from some foreign country, you have enough sense to know you're doing wrong. Why are you going to act an ass when you see me coming to state the obvious for you? Thats going to make me angry, and if I get angry, you go to jail. If you're at the least respectful, then all I'm going to say is "please don't do that".
3. Don't assume I don't know anything.
Most security officers know just as much law as any police officer (however, I have to admit moving to a different state has messed me up a bit). Most security officers either don't want to go to the trouble of being a cop, or they can't for some reason, usually the latter. You dont know me, why does one assume I know nothing?
4. Don't try to fight with me.
You'll lose, and a judge will laugh at you.
5. Don't make fun of me?
Why do people feel the need to make fun of security officers? They are out there trying to do a job, and as I said, they don't give a shit about you, unless you're doing something wrong. In those cases, we still don't care about you. If you start antagonizing me, its just going to give me an excuse to find something you're doing wrong, and lock you up. See rule 1.
And finally, a rule for my fellow officers:
6. You are not the police, I'm going to call you by your first name.
One of the reasons why people have no love for security officers, is because they try to act bigger than they are. My enforcement powers end at the property line. But, a few security officers, feel as if though they are on duty 24/7 just like a police officer. This is wrong. You are paid a shitty wage to do a shitty job. When you are off, you are no longer an officer. I'm not arrogant enough to think that people are going to call me Officer when I'm on duty or off, why even try.
Thats all I have now. Granted, this wasn't very exciting, but it was something that I wanted to say. Perhaps in the future, I'll post some stories or something.
Thank you for your patronage.
User Reviews
Submitted by MrWillard (user info) at 2005-06-20 13:14:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Jesus....what the fuck was I thinking with this post?
-2 for me
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2005-06-19 16:51:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooow
Submitted by rad1101 (user info) at 2005-02-22 02:52:51 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I take all that other shit back. I was on my rag that day.
Submitted by Tastycat (user info) at 2005-01-30 12:22:23 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by BLITZKREIG_BOB (user info) at 2005-01-04 08:58:15 (#)
Ranking: 2
Probably my defining moment was one time when a lady called me and asked me to escort her to her car. My reply was "Don't flatter yourself lady, nobody would want to rape you."
--------------------------------------------
-2 for arresting people for smoking weed
-2 for being a "security officer" because I know you suck.
+2 for B_BOB's comment.
Submitted by Feijuada (user info) at 2005-01-30 12:04:19 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Geez... I woulda given you a +2 but you had to show that terrible picture of yourself.
Submitted by PoloboiGC (user info) at 2005-01-12 17:23:43 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Funny part is Williard. I would spit in your face and cuff your balls twice and you wouldn't do shit about it.
See I'm a law major. You can't do shit. You can't even grab my arm and I can sue your ass.
You have no real fucking power. Your just a fucking tool. As a joke lawyers give cops shit all the time what the fuck do you think a rent a pig is going to get?
You might as well eat my shit. And like it.
You can't do a damn thing. Your power is only on the premises you can't even fucking grab me if I stole something. I would just say fuck you! and eat you to shit with the law. Or else walk across the parking lot off the property. You can't do shit.
We make fun of Fat, slobby security guards well because They are Fat, slobby and usually stupid lazy fucks who don't have a life or a personality and used to get their asses beat all the time as kids so now they are a securtiy guard and try to be all high and mighty. Thats the truth.
I'm sorry man your such bullshit. I watched at the mall one time where these teenage punks were just doing dumb shit like smoking infront of the store, smoking bud infront of the store, and just knocking shit down. This fat rotund, security guard comes up and trys to do shit. The guy just started caling him fatass, blob, twinkle toes, chubby, tubby etc.. and the security guard was just getting flusterd and his fat face turned red. Then he's like if you guys don't leave I'm going to call the cops. Thats what happened he couldn't do a damn thing, one of the guys spit chew on him. and dared him to touch him. He didn't do a damn thing but threaten the cops. The cops came, the kids left and THe cops were laughing right after the incident. One of them even pattied tubby security guard on his belly.
You get no respect, well because security guards deserve no respect. Just sit on your rotund ass and don't pay attention. Shit you get paid to do nothing. You do less than pigs, and they actually ahve some authority. Lawyers make fun of you, Cops do, even teenage punks do. why you ask? because your all lazy shit's who need to actually lose some pounds and become a true pig, or else go to the army. so fuck you.
Fucker arresting people for bud. You are a fucking fat loser. You deserve a wedgie or something.
Submitted by PoloboiGC (user info) at 2005-01-12 17:09:32 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
You are one fat motherfucker. LOL
HEY TUBBY! Fatass I wouldn't be scared at all of you.
Shit I might even give you a wedgie.
You bet your bitch tits it will be atomic.
Submitted by rad1101 (user info) at 2005-01-12 16:53:58 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
http://www.ubersite.com/m/56315
Submitted by rad1101 (user info) at 2005-01-10 04:12:34 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
And your damn gig-line goes over your belly-button. Goddamnit, if you are going to be an arrogant square, dress the damn part.
Submitted by rad1101 (user info) at 2005-01-10 03:59:29 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
And shine your damn boots for pity's sake.
Submitted by rad1101 (user info) at 2005-01-10 03:58:38 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Meaning of OFFICER
Pronunciation: 'ofisur
WordNet Dictionary
Definition:
1. [n] any person in the armed services who holds a position of authority or command; "an officer is responsible for the lives of his men"
2. [n] someone who is appointed or elected to an office and who holds a position of trust; "he is an officer of the court"; "the club elected its officers for the coming year"
3. [n] a person authorized to serve in a position of authority on a vessel; "he is the officer in charge of the ship's engines"
4. [n] a member of a police force; "it was an accident, officer"
@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@
I worked in security for five years of my life. I have been armed and unarmed. Let me tell you this, during that time I never would refer to myself or co-workers as "officer". The word just doesn't fit. I worked with many people who would have an attitude about it. They are not your fellow officers, they are merely people who could possibly cause your death. You are not sworn by your county to uphold laws. You are paid by a company to enforce regulations. Get over it. Do what I did and pull yourself out of the rut you have carved for yourself. Do something meaningful.
Submitted by Umbra_Astralis (user info) at 2005-01-04 22:29:32 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Holy crap! I dozed off amidst the third line, and I'm not even tired.
+1 for almost helping relax
-300 for complaining of people you couldn't care less about
Submitted by Joemama (user info) at 2005-01-04 22:03:56 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Some people below here should be
ashamed of themselves.
Submitted by c1ndy (user info) at 2005-01-04 16:45:44 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
this has got to be shenanigins?
"And finally, a rule for my fellow officers:
6. You are not the police, I'm going to call you by your first name"
what else would they call each other? officer????
Submitted by jgreening (user info) at 2005-01-04 16:34:21 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
OK.
YOu give me a bad name now.
Stop it.
Submitted by Sassmasterr (user info) at 2005-01-04 16:25:56 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by DamienX (user info) at 2005-01-03 16:21:02 (#)
Ranking: -2
Quote:
"My most common arrest is possession of marijuania. Why? Because people want to sit out on their patio and smoke up."
--------------------
You suck. That's called FREEDOM ya douchebag.
ignorant sumumabitch
Submitted by cheruboo (user info) at 2005-01-04 13:18:10 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
I hate you. Alot.
Submitted by BLITZKREIG_BOB (user info) at 2005-01-04 08:58:15 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I worked overnight as a security guard to put myself through college. I never arrested anyone. Hell, I never even bothered anybody. I would lock myself into my office and do my homework. Every two hours or so, go for a walk around to let people know that you're there. Then back to homework.
If the buildings weren't on fire, nobody was bleeding, and all of the cars in the lot had four tires, I didn't give a shit what was going on.
Probably my defining moment was one time when a lady called me and asked me to escort her to her car. My reply was "Don't flatter yourself lady, nobody would want to rape you."
Submitted by WhatTheHell (user info) at 2005-01-04 08:44:01 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
He's fat.
AND a freak
Probably a child molester
AND a rent-a-pig
Yeah....... his mom must be proud.
L
O
S
E
R
Submitted by thecaes (user info) at 2005-01-04 00:43:00 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
A lot of you guys are, what's the word, idiots.
I agree that marijuana has a bad rap. It's relatively harmless (better than booze or cigarettes anyway), but for some reason the powers that be think it's some kind of demon weed that when ignited, destroys the lives of everyone within a thirty foot radius.
So the powers that be have made it illegal, which doesn't mean you can't do it; it just means you dont' want to get caught doing it. You KNOW you can get in trouble for it. So don't whine and bitch about it if you do. It's your own damn fault.
It reminds me of people at the bar I work at. You tell them, "You're cut off. If you order another drink we'll kick you out." So they say, "Okay," and then five minutes later order another drink or get a buddy to bring them one. Then they ask "But why?" when you kick them out. Or they get mad and try to fight the bouncers.
+1 for teaching me something about security guards/officers and legal details.
Submitted by munkeypants (user info) at 2005-01-03 21:05:53 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Now, I realize a lot of you have had run-ins with security officers. I'm going to give you a little tip. We don't give a shit about you. Most security officers recieve very low pay to work in such hazardous areas. I personally don't give two and a half shits about anyone, or what they do. But, I have to do what I'm paid to do, and typically I only do my job, when someone is stupid enough to do something right in front of me.
--------------------
oh yeah, that argument really drums up respect for your profession.
A lot of professions are low pay for hazardous conditions. Why are you so special?
Submitted by munkeypants (user info) at 2005-01-03 21:01:27 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
You had me until you mentioned arresting people for marijuana.
So they go out to smoke. Prolly can't smoke in the house for some reason. They are
a hard working shmoe working their ass off to be a good citizen and they
smoke a little doobage to relax. maybe even to alleviate their anxiety and depression.
not bothering anyone.
OMG YOU ARE DOING SOMETHING BAD! THE LAW SAYS THIS IS BAD BAD BAD AND YOU ARE BAD!
I AM GOING TO ARREST YOU NOW. HEY I AM JUST DOING MY JOB AND I DON'T CARE WHAT HAPPENS TO YOU.
You're a prick.
Fuck you and the high horse you rodde in on.
Submitted by jack11058 (user info) at 2005-01-03 19:49:22 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
i used to be an under cover loss prevention investigator.
that means i worked as a shitty ass rent-a-cop for a chain of record stores wearing civilian clothes. no matter how you dress it up, it's still the same bullshit. the job paid only 9 bucks an hour and was bullshit. some of the guys i worked with thought they were hot shit like you, too.
so i got off my ass and joined the army. now i get paid six bucks an hour. the upside? i get to carry a gun now and can defend myself when necessary. get this, i also have arrest powers. but i'm not an MP. MP's are PUSSIES.
i was going to give you a commiseratory +1, but then i noticed you've been giving plenty of them to yourself.
Submitted by Hadooken (user info) at 2005-01-03 18:49:54 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
i dont have the energy to tear this apart. its rubbish.
Submitted by MrWillard (user info) at 2005-01-03 17:28:43 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
ubmitted by ChannelDunlap (user info) at 2005-01-03 17:25:46 (#)
Ranking: 1
Ya know, I have more resect for a rent-a-cop (or, "security officer", whatever) than I do an actual cop. Cops, I swear to god, get off on ruining people. Rent-a-cops and the like, they're just looking for a job. Just tryin' to make a fuckin' buck, man, and thats something I can relate to.
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Thank you...that was the point I was trying to make.
Submitted by MrWillard (user info) at 2005-01-03 17:25:48 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Fun Fact: Any private citizen can go before a magistrate and swear a warrant for anyone else's arrest for something they personally witnessed or that that person did to them. However, some states vary in their wording on this law, and in some states you can only get one if you were a victim of a said crime.
Submitted by ChannelDunlap (user info) at 2005-01-03 17:25:46 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Ya know, I have more resect for a rent-a-cop (or, "security officer", whatever) than I do an actual cop. Cops, I swear to god, get off on ruining people. Rent-a-cops and the like, they're just looking for a job. Just tryin' to make a fuckin' buck, man, and thats something I can relate to.
Perhaps, busting people for smoking joints might not be the best way to keep said respect, but y'all ain't caught me yet, so I guess it doesn't really matter.
(this is in no way a confession or admission of marjuana possession or usage. All previous stated comments are jokes, lies, or typos. Seriously. Don't arrest me. Not that you could. Fuck. ::runs::)
Submitted by MaximusPadus (user info) at 2005-01-03 17:17:29 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Adamdidit2u (user info) at 2005-01-03 16:23:28 (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by MrWillard (user info) at 2005-01-03 16:21:09 (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Adamdidit2u (user info) at 2005-01-03 16:19:13 (#)
Ranking: 0
It's Kings Dominion in Richmond VA.
Thats where you are in the picture
---------------------------------------------
You want a cookie or something?
================================
Looks like you ate all of them already
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
+2 for this.
Submitted by Adamdidit2u (user info) at 2005-01-03 17:15:35 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by BoogieFevuh (user info) at 2005-01-03 16:52:28 (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Adamdidit2u (user info) at 2005-01-03 16:45:37 (#)
Ranking: 0
If I'm smoking a fatty on the porch an you come a knocking, I would
Look through my peephole
Tell you to fuck off
Finish my blunt
Watch ATHF
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Isn't a porch generally on the outside of the door, and inevitably, the peephole?
================================
No our balconies are only accessable through our apartments, If i'm out there I leave the sliding glass door open so I can hear the phone or door.
Submitted by MrWillard (user info) at 2005-01-03 17:15:31 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Submitted by FatTony (user info) at 2005-01-03 17:07:01 (#)
Ranking: 0
We make fun of security guards because they are full of shit, 99 times out of a hundred. All the
attitude of cops without the power.
---------------------------------------
Believe it or not I agree. When someone in my field realizes this, they have an easy time of it because they're able to balance the bullshit with the fact that they're paid to do a shitty job.
Submitted by FatTony (user info) at 2005-01-03 17:07:01 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
We make fun of security guards because they are full of shit, 99 times out of a hundred. All the
attitude of cops without the power.
Submitted by MrWillard (user info) at 2005-01-03 17:04:57 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Totally_useless (user info) at 2005-01-03 16:51:55 (#)
Ranking: -2
1) I don't arrest everybody. Depends on my mood
---------------------------
That's what I'm talking about when I said 'act like hot shit for minimum wage'.
I still don't see how your 'summonses' could mean anything. Unless I am cited by a government law enforcement agency, I will just use (said summons) to roll up my next spliff.
--------------------------------------------
In the Commonwealth of Virginia, where I used to work, a certified armed private security officer can issue a court summons, or "Virginia Uniform Summons" just like the police. If you choose not to show up in court, a warrant and a capieus (however its spelled) is issued for your arrest. The thing is, that this is only applicable on the property for which the company has a contract with.
(Source: http://leg1.state.va.us/cgi-bin/legp504.exe?000+cod+9.1-146)
In Georgia, where I am now, this isn't the case. I can make an arrest for anything that occurs in my presence, and/or that I have direct knowledge of, and/or on the suspicion of a felony. When it goes before a magistrate, my name goes on the warrant as the arresting officer, but legally its just a citizen's arrest. On some properties, I can issue a company citation, and assess a fine for lease violations, but in reality its bullshit, and probably wouldn't hold up in court if challenged.
Submitted by BoogieFevuh (user info) at 2005-01-03 16:52:28 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Adamdidit2u (user info) at 2005-01-03 16:45:37 (#)
Ranking: 0
If I'm smoking a fatty on the porch an you come a knocking, I would
Look through my peephole
Tell you to fuck off
Finish my blunt
Watch ATHF
----------
Isn't a porch generally on the outside of the door, and inevitably, the peephole?
Submitted by Totally_useless (user info) at 2005-01-03 16:51:55 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
1) I don't arrest everybody. Depends on my mood
---------------------------
That's what I'm talking about when I said 'act like hot shit for minimum wage'.
I still don't see how your 'summonses' could mean anything. Unless I am cited by a government law enforcement agency, I will just use (said summons) to roll up my next spliff.
Submitted by Adamdidit2u (user info) at 2005-01-03 16:45:37 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
If I'm smoking a fatty on the porch an you come a knocking, I would
Look through my peephole
Tell you to fuck off
Finish my blunt
Watch ATHF
Submitted by MrWillard (user info) at 2005-01-03 16:41:26 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Some people just dont' want to be educated.
1) I don't arrest everybody. Depends on my mood, and their counteraction when I approach them. Most of the time I give a speech about violation of lease or against the law and thats the end of it. I don't like arresting people, it creates paperwork and I have to go to court, and given my "I don't care about you attitude", thats just to much effort. But, I do my job.
2) I agree that people don't have the right to be overly arrogant because they have the power to take one's freedom away. But as with anyone, my actions are going to be directly proportional to your actions. If you say, "okay, sorry" and go about your busniess, thats the end of it.
3) I actually do drive a car with pretty lights and makes noise...or whatever the fuck you said. Does that make me special? No. Its a job...thats it.
Submitted by BoogieFevuh (user info) at 2005-01-03 16:33:38 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Loren1 (user info) at 2005-01-03 16:23:25 (#)
Ranking: -1
"The vast majority of people who are ordained with "authority" via a badge and gun are hardly worthy of it, and a staggering amount go so far as to abuse it. Let's face it, everybody knows you only need a mediocre IQ to land a career in law enforcement."
------------------------
Sadly, Loren, you're completely right about this. Despite me on the road to becoming a cop, I'll easily admit that they have their fair share of dumbasses and pricks, who'd be better off working in a factory or something.
I'll get back to you when I make detective ;-)
Submitted by Totally_useless (user info) at 2005-01-03 16:30:55 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
<Marks down 'Security Guard' onto list of people who act like hot shit for minimum wage>
Ok, then.
Protector of freedom, ensurer of good times to be had by all...PLEASE.
When I lived in Vegas from '99-'01, we had a ball fucking with fakin' bacon' like yourself.
Gun, shmun. If you're not a police officer, I don't care WHAT kind of juris diction you have. You pull a gun on one of my neighbors in LV, you would have a helluva' time ducking for cover.
Arrests for marijuana possession? Give me a fucking break. Did that get you a plaque to put on your wall? Or maybe a $5 bonus in your next paycheck? Jeez. People smoke pot. Deal with it.
And, I don't care WHO the fuck you are, if you're not wearing a badge that has my locale's name on it, and a marked car with pretty flashing lights and cool sounds, you had better not even TRY to put your hands on me. You WILL, I repeat, WILL get fucked up.
Fucking security guards. Hacks who couldn't make the force is all you are.
Oh, and I live in NJ now. Good thing those hacks don't get sidearms; they wouldn't live past week one in a Jersey project or tenament.
Submitted by MrWillard (user info) at 2005-01-03 16:26:32 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by DamienX (user info) at 2005-01-03 16:21:02 (#)
Ranking: -2
Quote:
"My most common arrest is possession of marijuania. Why? Because people want to sit out on their patio and smoke up."
--------------------
You suck. That's called FREEDOM ya douchebag.
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I'm not going to debate the marijuania thing with you, but my point is four fold.
1) I don't give a shit about you and what you smoke
2) Right or Wrong, its still illegal.
3) If its done in front of me, I have to do my job. Thats all there is to it.
4) I can't go into your house/apartment unless I'm summoned or invited.
Fun Fact: Neither can a police officer, but they can also have a search warrant, which I can't obtain in Georgia
Submitted by SAECULUM.AUREUM (user info) at 2005-01-03 16:26:25 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Thanks for the insight into the greasy workings at the bottom of the barrel.
I pay my praetorians 3 gold pieces a day for their service.
Submitted by Chinaski (user info) at 2005-01-03 16:26:10 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
sometimes we ride on your horses
sometimes we walk alone
sometimes the songs that we hear are the songs of our own
Wake up to find that you are the eyes of the world
Submitted by Adamdidit2u (user info) at 2005-01-03 16:23:28 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by MrWillard (user info) at 2005-01-03 16:21:09 (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Adamdidit2u (user info) at 2005-01-03 16:19:13 (#)
Ranking: 0
It's Kings Dominion in Richmond VA.
Thats where you are in the picture
---------------------------------------------
You want a cookie or something?
================================
Looks like you ate all of them already
Submitted by Loren1 (user info) at 2005-01-03 16:23:25 EST (#)
Ranking: -1
"Thats going to make me angry, and if I get angry, you go to jail."
Loren's Rule for cops and rent-a-cops (which is what "security guards" are):
Don't be a power-hungry wannabee prick.
When you say things like the aforementioned statement you no longer need to ask why people hate and/or disrespect you.
The vast majority of people who are ordained with "authority" via a badge and gun are hardly worthy of it, and a staggering amount go so far as to abuse it. Let's face it, everybody knows you only need a mediocre IQ to land a career in law enforcement.
I will add, to be fair, that I appreciate you stating the fact that you do not have the right to be arrogant just because you are in a position to arrest someone. So instead of a -2 you get a whopping -1.
Happy New Year.
Submitted by BoogieFevuh (user info) at 2005-01-03 16:21:48 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Ehh, I'm technically an 'officer,' I just say guard.
And I'm only doing this for a year till i get my degree, then I'm going Cop.
Submitted by MrWillard (user info) at 2005-01-03 16:21:09 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Adamdidit2u (user info) at 2005-01-03 16:19:13 (#)
Ranking: 0
It's Kings Dominion in Richmond VA.
Thats where you are in the picture
---------------------------------------------
You want a cookie or something?
Submitted by DamienX (user info) at 2005-01-03 16:21:02 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Quote:
"My most common arrest is possession of marijuania. Why? Because people want to sit out on their patio and smoke up."
--------------------
You suck. That's called FREEDOM ya douchebag.
Submitted by Adamdidit2u (user info) at 2005-01-03 16:19:13 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
It's Kings Dominion in Richmond VA.
Thats where you are in the picture
Submitted by MrWillard (user info) at 2005-01-03 16:19:11 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Donitsu2002 (user info) at 2005-01-03 16:11:35 (#)
Ranking: 2
you should've made it clearer to these 15 year olds that you're not a "mall guard" and even though you admittedly suck... you dont suck the massive amount of dong required to be a mall guard.
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Hey, suck or not, its not my career. Its a temporary fix to my money situation while in school. I enjoy it to a certain extent, but the money will never be there.
And I agree that a mall guard is a rare breed of human being.
Submitted by Sassmasterr (user info) at 2005-01-03 16:17:52 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
yeah, i was a shitty "mall guard" straight out of high school. 6'0" 110 lbs. you can only imagine the amount of respect i got. while working for NBC i had to tell some skateboarding kids (roughly my age) to dispurse from our property. I ended up talking with them and hanging out with them for 2 hours. har har. my bosses did not like that.
Submitted by Adamdidit2u (user info) at 2005-01-03 16:17:36 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Had to stop back and tell you to keep your little golf kart off the goddamn road. I really enjoy when you drive down the middle at .000125mph and go backwards through time over speedbumps. You have made what is usually a 2 minute drive to the rear of the complex a 8 hour ordeal.
I could complain about "security" folks at my apartment complex all day.
Including
What I said about the noise, I know that I have the right to have my friends over and watch the game with my stero surround cranked up so much that every tackle knocks your children over, as long as it's before 9pm.
When I specifically give you a list of people with names and license plate numbers that are OK and you don't have to call me to let them in that means DO NOT CALL ME.
I could go on forever
I think I'll fuck with those batards tonight
Submitted by kai070169 (user info) at 2005-01-03 16:17:22 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Catch me smokin' dope on my patio and you better rush me with a bag of doritos; anything else would get you a free flying lesson from the penthouse floor. Security guards are "okay" in that they serve a somewaht useful purpose but the profession does attract a lot of losers.
Submitted by MrWillard (user info) at 2005-01-03 16:13:32 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
ubmitted by BoogieFevuh (user info) at 2005-01-03 16:06:40 (#)
Ranking: 2
Plus 2 for a fellow security guard!
Stupid New Jersey doesn't let us carry guns, but at least we get cuffs.
Thats ok tho, the only guns I need ARE THESE *feeble motion toward arms*
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I'm actually a security officer. You should read my post more carefully.
But, in the picture I was just a rent-a-cop working at a theme park of which I won't name. It was fun, as you can see, but I wouldn't reccomend it to anyone unless you are in real despirate need for a job.
They won't let you have guns?? Damn, my company has a couple of shitholes in Jersey. I feel sorry for those officers.
Submitted by Donitsu2002 (user info) at 2005-01-03 16:11:35 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
you should've made it clearer to these 15 year olds that you're not a "mall guard" and even though you admittedly suck... you dont suck the massive amount of dong required to be a mall guard.
On a sidenote: DonkeyOnEdge almost became a security guard at my local mall... how amusing.
Submitted by DonovanMD (user info) at 2005-01-03 16:07:22 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by MrWillard (user info) at 2005-01-03 16:07:22 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Submitted by Adamdidit2u (user info) at 2005-01-03 16:02:03 (#)
Ranking: -2
Yea you came to my apartment over the weekend to inform me I could not run a circular saw on my patio, because one of my neigbors complained and "it exceeded an acceptable noise level" or something. When I asked him what acceptable was, in measurable decibels, you got pissed.
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Acceptable noise level??? What a dumbass. People are complaining....sure, okay, but acceptable noise level??? Some people just haven't learned how to talk to others in order to convey the "I don't care about you" attitude. Dumbass.
By the way, I have nothing better to do but camp out on my post.
Submitted by BoogieFevuh (user info) at 2005-01-03 16:06:40 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Plus 2 for a fellow security guard!
Stupid New Jersey doesn't let us carry guns, but at least we get cuffs.
Thats ok tho, the only guns I need ARE THESE *feeble motion toward arms*
Submitted by MrWillard (user info) at 2005-01-03 16:02:37 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
The picture is a couple years old. Asshole.
Thats another thing. People think I'm stupid and slow because I'm fat. The fact is just the opposite. If someone runs from me, I will catch them, and (unless they're a kid because Georgia is stupid) they will go to jail
Plus, even if I don't catch them, they'll come back in a couple days and I'll get them then. See rule 1.
Submitted by Adamdidit2u (user info) at 2005-01-03 16:02:03 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Yea you came to my apartment over the weekend to inform me I could not run a circular saw on my patio, because one of my neigbors complained and "it exceeded an acceptable noise level" or something. When I asked him what acceptable was, in measurable decibels, you got pissed.
I slammed the door in your face.
You knocked again for a few minutes while I watched the game.
You went away.
Submitted by WhatTheHell (user info) at 2005-01-03 15:59:03 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Damn.... is that really you ?
......and you wonder why people make fun of you ?
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2005-01-03 15:56:08 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I think the only thing that matters is "I will not dip my nightstick in axle grease and force it past your unsuspecting chocolate starfish."
Unless, of course, you do get to do that. Remind me not to go in your jurisdiction.