Know Your Shlongy - Quiz Number 2 (Plus Camwhore) (3737 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 0.31 on 136 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Lack of interest.com (View user info) at 2005-01-04 20:08:05 EST
It's Quiz time once again!
I've noticed that thus far in 2005 , the quality of posts is way down and the site is in danger of being overrun with retards and alters posting complete and utter horseshit.
This post isn't gonna help improve that in any way.
But the site IS close to anarchy and complete chaos lately. I hate it. Fortunately, it's been 75 degrees here the last week so I've been playing golf every day instead of wasting away in front of the computer.
Anyways, throughout the past 4 months, we've all learned a great deal about the His Shlonginess and now's your chance to put that mindless collection of trivia and minutiae to good use.
Or at least, waste about 4 minutes more of your work day. I don't care one way or another.
Answer these questions carefully and you might win a great prize from my prize vault.
Question # 1
Shlongy's favorite fast food menu item is:
a) Quarter Pounder with Cheese plus fries from Ronnie's Steak House
b) A goddamn low carb sub from Subway
c) Quarter Pounder with cheese- no onion - plus fries at Ronnie's Steak House
d) Rolaids
#2
Shlongy's favorite band of all time is:
a) The Press Tones
b) Buzzcocks
c) Ramones
d) Journey
#3
Shlongy lives in:
a) South Carolina
b) His car
c) Pluto
d) A trailer, down by the river
#4
When not laying around on his slender, rockhard, pimple-free ass, Shlongy's favorite participation sport is now:
a) Masturbation
b) Golf
c) Bomb construction
d) 69
#5
Shlongy last used to work in what professional sport:
a) Tractor Pulls
b) PGA Tour
c) WWF
d) Work?
#6
Shlongy's favorite TV show that is NOT currently in reruns or syndication is:
a) Green Acres
b) Curb Your Enthusiasm
c) Wife Swap
d) Pornocopia
#7
Shlongy is approximately "this many" years old:
a) 12
b) Fuck you
c) 40-something
d) Fuck Me
#8
During his FIRST mid-life crisis, Shlongy used to drive a:
a) UPS truck
b) Flintstone mobile
c) Big Wheel
d) Porsche 944 Turbo which made his penis appear much larger
#9
Shlongy's favorite card game is:
a) Go fish
b) Hide the salami
c) No Limit Texas Hold 'Em
d) Any one he wins money at
#10
Shlongy is slowly going broke because:
a) He feels like it
b) Money is overrated
c) The NFL sucks cock and
d) So does online poker
#11
In his day, Shlongy has banged how many broads:
a) Broads?
b) 0
c) 52
d) The past is the past...Who wants to be next?
#12
Shlongy's favorite movie of all time is:
a) Slapshot
b) Midnight Run
c) Caddyshack
d) Animal House
e) Fast Times at Ridgemont High
f) The Money Pit
g) Stripes
h) Major League
i) Raising Arizona
j) Never fucking mind - this list could go on forever
#13
In Uberland, Shlongy is very fond of this person's posts:
a) No one
b) Your mom
c) Wazza
d) None of the above
#14
Shlongy thinks Bart is a:
a) Imaginary person
b) Dipshit
c) Knob gobbler
d) 2 out of 3 ain't bad
#15
Shlongy's most diligent stalker is:
a) Fetish and his 29 alters
b) What the Hell
c) What the fuck
d) Is your problem, dipshit?
#16
Shlongy has had cybersex with:
a) Your mom
b) Your sister
c) None of your
d) fucking business, but it's at least 3 of you - who's turning red?
#17
Shlongy's favorite TV show in syndication is:
a) Seinfeld
b) Gunsmoke
c) Polesmoke
d) The Wiggles
#18
Shlongy's favorite drink is:
a) Pussy Juice
b) Any overpriced single malt scotch
c) Milk with Nestle Quik
d) 14 Coors Lights per 18 holes
#19
Shlongy's wife has:
a) Left him again
b) Had three lobotomies
c) A huge rack for a 105lb chick - store bought, of course
d) A cock
#20
Shlongy would like to:
a) Kick most of Ubersite's ass - one at a time
b) Win a bet of any kind in 2005
c) Take a shit right about now
d) Self fellate
BONUS QUESTION:
According to Ubersite's resident fatass MickGinny, Shlongy does not really exist and is simply an alter for a "regular" user. Who is Shlongy an alter of?
Alright...How'd you do?
Answers will be supplied when the time limit buzzer goes off in approximately 36 hours, or whenever this gets to 1000+ hits.
The first person to ace this quiz will receive a season's pass to the opera.!!!
Scoring at home:
0-8 You're fucking retarded
9-13 And so are you
14-17 Why do you give a fuck? I sure don't
18-20 Why do you know so much about Shlongy, you fucking stalker?
Here's a picture for the broads, of Shlongy at an Oakland A's game this summer...In the bleachers visiting with other online friends he didn't know until this game. Mrs. Shlongy has been edited out, you fucking wackjobs.
User Reviews
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2007-12-18 16:02:59 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
AGAIN????
You kids are insatiable.
Submitted by NotSteve (user info) at 2007-12-18 15:31:09 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Show us his hole
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2007-12-18 15:07:44 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
That's OK.
It was only supposed to be interesting to me.
AND IT WAS!
Submitted by corn_nugget (user info) at 2007-12-18 15:05:22 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
This post didn't interest me much, Shlongy.
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2005-11-11 20:22:29 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
The answer to #2 is D, Journey, due to a poll taken at
Shlongy's house. BWAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2005-11-11 20:22:28 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
typos blow...
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2005-11-11 20:22:11 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
I can tell who reads him...the people who give me +2's...that's who.
He's probably writing another book.
I've met him a cfew times at dinners, etc. He's like a 50-year old teanager...right down to his bad CanucksFan-like haircut.
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2005-11-11 20:18:42 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Doesn't EVERYONE with a brain read Dave Barry? He's on leave right now,
but he'll be back.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2005-11-11 20:15:31 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
It's not possible - the teenagers and stalkers prevent that from happening.
Which, in the big picture, really doesn't matter a good goddamn.
I know this was funny and that's what's important here.
Doesn't anyone on Uber read Dave Barry?
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2005-11-11 20:11:57 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Let's raise that average, Bub. . .
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2005-11-11 20:04:49 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
We SHOULD be taking a look today at all the Shlongy classics...like this one, that garnered a solid +.21 which, coincidently, seems to be my post average rating.
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2005-11-11 19:48:08 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by simple_catalyst (user info) at 2005-06-27 22:33:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment
Submitted by frap (user info) at 2005-04-14 18:17:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
wow, you are boring
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2005-01-13 23:17:14 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
What's your point, dipshit? You have one?
Submitted by wasabi (user info) at 2005-01-13 20:37:56 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
WOW, an ass hole AND he's egotistical about it.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2005-01-13 14:50:53 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Whoa. How'd I miss THAT much bitterness?
Submitted by Tigre (user info) at 2005-01-11 15:53:57 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
No thanks. I'm not into 69 with a man you cock gobbling shit-faced douchebag.
Fuck you.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2005-01-11 14:28:27 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Lick my shaft, Tigre.
Submitted by Tigre (user info) at 2005-01-11 11:31:15 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Ugly piece of shit.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2005-01-10 14:32:43 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I still prefer scotch and blow. Then again, I'm fucking terrible online.
Submitted by hairycoo (user info) at 2005-01-10 06:16:44 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
partypoker $50 holdem tables. I tried to be smart and play 2 games at once and lost a bit doing so, thought it may stop my desire to call shit hands but I made a few mistakes that cost some games - back to the old tedious strategy then.
Funnily enough Ive marked an S next to all games that Ive been stoned in, and it looks like Im a 20% better player while stoned - not surprisily cocaine and alcohol dont work at all. coke makes me arrogant and impatient and alcohol makes me just plain fucking stupid.
Weed - poker players drug of choice
Submitted by GodLovesALittleLovin (user info) at 2005-01-08 16:40:14 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I realized i forgot to answer the questions...
this quiz fucking sucks I choose the number 7.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2005-01-08 10:01:36 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
This quiz is officially closed.
You're ALL losers.
Thanks for stopping by.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2005-01-07 18:42:29 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
What site you play on, chief?
Submitted by hairycoo (user info) at 2005-01-07 18:23:04 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I just had the biggest run Ive ever had. 4 tourny $500 wins in a row. $4700 now, you may be right about these bigger tables shlong
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2005-01-07 16:19:35 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
dang, I was hoping 'ballwasher' would make it in there....
Submitted by WhatTheHell (user info) at 2005-01-07 12:52:43 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
So who's SHLONGY on the other days then ?
Submitted by GodLovesALittleLovin (user info) at 2005-01-07 12:32:32 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I AM Shlongy.
On Tuesdays and Thursdays.
Submitted by espo (user info) at 2005-01-06 23:02:20 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
This would have been a +2, but there were no poop pictures. So a +1 for you, schlongy.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2005-01-06 22:52:51 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Last night for answers to be submitted. Hand in your fucking homework, peoples.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2005-01-06 15:57:39 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Well, you're the leader in the clubhouse as it stands, AssK. 12 wasn't bad.
Submitted by AsshOly (user info) at 2005-01-06 14:18:54 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Twelve? Well fuck me and call me sister! I thought I did better than that.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2005-01-06 09:45:23 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Smaller limit assholes raise and call and chase with ANYTHING. They're idiots.
If you're already making money playing small limit and it sounds like you are, you will KILL these dipshits if you go play $10-20...I promise you that.
You have enough cash- $3500 - to sit at a $10-$20 with $1000. That's all you need. And just wait for good hands or try to steal when in blinds.
Your $3500 will be $15,000 by years' end. I'm jealous.
Submitted by Bizdorph (user info) at 2005-01-06 09:44:18 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment
Submitted by hairycoo (user info) at 2005-01-06 09:37:45 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
have to find a way of getting the poker through my company firewall I would be sorted then
Ive found on the lower prices tables theres more of the 'i dont have a fucking clue what Im doing and Im gonna raise you with 4 2' type people so you can pick them off all day and slowly build it up. The higher tables seem to have some real pros and I find myself getting hit and fucked over more regulary. Maybe Ill try working myself up to that when I get a decent sum built up
never played hold em in a casino - off to vegas in April so Ill give it a try then the UK casinos are fucking shite
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2005-01-06 09:27:47 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Yeah...if you HAVE to play online...Just play what you're comfortable. I hear about people making money all the time. I think I'm an excellent No Limit player. And I haven't made jackshit.
Don't play blackjack online. Stick to limit games or pot limit games.
When you get your account to a place where you like it....go to higher limit tables.
Play $10-20 or $20-40. You'll obviously play a lot fewer hands but your reward will be much greater.
You have enough in your account to do do RIGHT NOW.
Submitted by hairycoo (user info) at 2005-01-06 09:23:29 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Cheers for the words shlong your not such a cunt after all.
This is my plan for retirement in March 2006
Equities - Earnings 25K+ a year, FNM FRE DNA BSX INTL IVN +10 high risk short term stocks rotated regulary +3 shorts. US Dollar better not fuck me over anymore though
Bonds - Earning 10K a year - one of the Euro Govt 10 year probably
ING high interest account 5% interest for the cash
and fucking poker - if I can control myself to keep to a constant plan without getting distracted by BlackJack and shit like that there could be happy times ahead.
bit concerned by your words though - I may take it easy to start with or see how the rest of the year goes.
dont get a job bud - you dont want to do that
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2005-01-06 09:03:37 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
shitfuck- I'll take a look at your touts.
That Latin American Fund from Franklin that I mentioned way back when was up 13% since November 15 when I "bought" about 13k's worth...Until the last two fucking days. Down $.71 and then down $.25 in 48 hours.
Gotta love the market!
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2005-01-06 09:00:46 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Assholy- You got 12 correct but missed the bonus question.
Nice job, son. You can still play intramural football.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2005-01-06 08:56:14 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
hairycoo- Thus far, after about 6 months, I've found that it is indeed a "downward spiral of failure".
The problem is, that I can't play every day- we don't live close enough to a casino where I can go and treat it like a 9-to-5 job and try and eek out $300-$500 a day at ring games (That would total well over 100k a year).
I've been going on weekend trips to Vegas, MS, Conn, AC etc. and it ends up being like vacation play...you win some money and give it back, after I get knocked out of a tournament.
For example, I'm ging to AC the 16-17. I'll bring 5 grand with me; My goal is to win $5000 but in only 36 hours, you have to get on a helluva roll to do so.
If I lived near a casino, I could go every day and in smaller increments, probably make 5k in about 10-11 days. It's not hard to make $500 in a session...but to turn $500 into 5k in 36 hours IS hard. And even though there are plenty of tournaments out there to play in, to get a nice final table payoff, you need to play in events with at MINIMUM at $1500 with at least 500 players. Not the best odds in the world.
Online poker- I don't get it. I know some people make nice money playing but I can never sustain any run of success there, either. I'm just about giving up on that nonsense. I win $800 one day...give back $1100 the next three days.
Toss in the fact that I've gotten killed betting NFL football this year and I can't say that this first 6 months has been "successful" in any way.
On the plus said, my golf handicap is down to about a 6.2. and I can bench press a VW.
I may need to look for work again by July.
Submitted by BLITZKREIG_BOB (user info) at 2005-01-06 08:47:32 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I gotta throw this another +2 because somebody posted the entire text to "Raleigh's Soliloquy" below.
Submitted by hairycoo (user info) at 2005-01-06 07:12:24 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
tell me something Shlong... how much do you make a year from poker ? Ive recently found that I talent for pot limit tournis and have increased my partypoker account from $200 to $3500 now over a 2 month period. Im reckon I could make a living out of this by playing about 20 games a day I reckon I could win 3-4 on average, with a few second places.... given the recent 150 game track record.
Is it worth doing it for a living or is it just a downward spiral of failure ?
Im really shit at no limit though Im too easily scared off by all-in bets.
Submitted by mrwolf (user info) at 2005-01-06 05:15:39 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I know too much.
Submitted by Chinaski (user info) at 2005-01-06 05:08:44 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment
Submitted by shitfuck (user info) at 2005-01-06 02:43:09 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Some stocks I've been looking at: Zi Corp, HBM, biomira is close to buy.
All are listed on the TSE and TSE Venture Exchange.
Submitted by AsshOly (user info) at 2005-01-06 02:33:42 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Despite the barrage of -2's you send my way, you crack me the fuck up.
1. C
2. C
3. A
4. B
5. B
6. D
7. B
8. A
9. C
10. C and D (No shit)
11. A
12. H
13. A
14. C
15. B
16. C
17. A
18. D
19. B
20. All of the above
Bonus: Mang
Submitted by jgreening (user info) at 2005-01-05 21:18:41 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Awwwwwwwww... Sorry Shlongy, did I ruin your self-circle-jerk?
My bad.
Ass clown.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2005-01-05 19:57:42 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
"Chief WAHOO's crew".
I just noticed I said "Chief Yahoo".
Buahahahahahahahahahahahaaaa
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2005-01-05 19:56:17 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Soon to be "oldest man to tie own cleats".
Gotta go a ways to catch Hoyt Wilhelm.
Submitted by TheSpook (user info) at 2005-01-05 19:45:47 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Oldest man to hit grand slam!
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2005-01-05 19:23:30 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Mrs. Shlongy's favorite team- when she's not being force fed A's games every summer- is the Chief Yahoo's crew. Julio Franco used to do it for her 15 years ago.
And he STILL does it for the Braves today. Amazing.
Submitted by TheSpook (user info) at 2005-01-05 19:08:21 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Billy Beane knows what he's doing, in theory. It's not fun working for cheapskates and he's done all right the last 7 years or so.
This is true. I always forget how shady those A's can be. This is the year of the cheap ass team though. All the fucking Indians can do is sign their GM for 3 more years. Go Cheap Ass Tribe!
Submitted by Genko (user info) at 2005-01-05 18:33:00 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by strider (user info) at 2005-01-05 18:25:18 EST (#)
Ranking: -1
"This post isn't gonna help improve that in any way. "
For once we agree!
Submitted by WhatTheHell (user info) at 2005-01-05 13:46:03 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by MaximusPadus (user info) at 2005-01-05 13:42:38 (#)
Ranking: -2
Funny how he was about to golf like 5 hours ago.
-------------------
EEEEEEEEEEEEEEXACTLY........
Submitted by MaximusPadus (user info) at 2005-01-05 13:42:38 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Funny how he was about to golf like 5 hours ago.
Submitted by TigerLilly (user info) at 2005-01-05 13:14:45 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Ok.
Go get those balls of yours in those holes.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2005-01-05 13:12:26 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
TigerLilly- You didn't finish reading the entire response.
I was "making a joke". See? Read the response again.
I got it. I'll get you. Later. When we're both hammered.
Gotta go golf....Hike!
Submitted by WhatTheHell (user info) at 2005-01-05 13:10:43 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
That's it...
I'm taking my football and going home now, you have disgraced the WTH name one too many times.
GOOD DAY SIR!
Submitted by TigerLilly (user info) at 2005-01-05 13:09:47 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2005-01-05 12:36:16 (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by TigerLilly (user info) at 2005-01-05 12:33:16 (#)
Ranking: 2
You crack my ass up!
Is that a THREAT?
----
Man you're hostile. NO! It isn't a threat. Since when would Lil ol' me
Threaten you??
Let me break it down for you.
You crack my ass up = You make me laugh
Understood?
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2005-01-05 13:07:11 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Hey...I'll give you that.
Your obsession is nothing but a boon to the entire Shlongy industry. I just wish you were funny.
You're kind of like a guy that you feel like you HAVE to invite to your party...because you're inviting everyone you know.
But then, you drive everyone out of the party, traveling from clique to clique, group to group, until everyone says "I gotta go". You know that guy...right?
Hell, you ARE that guy.
Anyway, I've yet to turn a profit in here but I'll keep you posted.
Submitted by WhatTheHell (user info) at 2005-01-05 12:58:13 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Well fuck then old man... I am vital to that success you so strive for, yet LOATH, in a sort of rainman'esque way.
I garner you hits by stalking you, and am deserving of 5% of all associated revinue of said posts.
(plus the 3% vig) .standard arrangement.
No ?
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2005-01-05 12:50:32 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I don't care about the ratings.
I care about the comedy. And without "hits", which I also could give a shit about, not enough people get to realize the sheer genius that IS Shlongy.
Imagine my quandary.
Submitted by WhatTheHell (user info) at 2005-01-05 12:41:38 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Tell all your friends to swing by...there's humor here!
-------------------
OK... OK... I'll give you the TIGERLILLY comment, THAT was funny.
But it's not the norm for you lately...and I stand by that statement.
Good job old man, here's the +2 you strive for.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2005-01-05 12:36:16 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by TigerLilly (user info) at 2005-01-05 12:33:16 (#)
Ranking: 2
You crack my ass up!
Is that a THREAT?
Wait...sorry...I'm used to responding to insults and abuse.
I meant "thanks".
Tell all your friends to swing by...there's humor here!
Submitted by ziggy_stardust (user info) at 2005-01-05 12:33:27 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Everyone on this site owns a butt plug, except me, i own 12.
Submitted by TigerLilly (user info) at 2005-01-05 12:33:16 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
You crack my ass up!
Submitted by jgreening (user info) at 2005-01-05 12:27:43 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Answers 1-20 PLUS BONUS ANSWER
"Who gives a fuck"
Submitted by WhatTheHell (user info) at 2005-01-05 12:26:55 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
And you think YOUR outdated and predictable material IS funny, dude ?
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2005-01-05 12:24:34 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
You really need to get some new writers in because your "material" is NEVER funny, bud. Sorry.
Submitted by WhatTheHell (user info) at 2005-01-05 12:22:25 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
How's about you kill yourself on film as a prize ?
That should rally the troops.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2005-01-05 12:20:05 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I gotta come up with better prizes, apparently.
Submitted by zakalwe (user info) at 2005-01-05 12:19:00 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Already well acquainted with my shlong, thank you very much.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2005-01-05 12:05:54 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
This entire charade reminds me of this tremendous song:
Download it today!
When I look in the mirror
I can't believe what I see
Tell me, who's that funky dude
Staring back at me
Broken, beaten down
Can't even get around
Without an old-man cane
I fall and hit the ground
Shivering in the cold
I'm bitter and alone
Excuse the bitching
I shouldn't complain
I should have no feeling
Cos feeling is pain
As everything I need
Is denied me
And everything I want
Is taken away from me
But who do I got to blame?
Nobody but me
And I don't wanna be an old man anymore
It's been a year or two since I was out on the floor
Shaking booty, making sweet love all the night
It's time I got back to the good life
It's time I got back, it's time I got back
And I don't even know how I got off the track
I wanna go back, yeah!
Screw this crap, I've had it!
I ain't no Mr. Cool
I'm a pig, I'm a dog
So excuse me if I drool
I ain't gonna hurt nobody
Ain't gonna cause a scene
Just need to admit
That I want sugar in my tea
Hear me (hear me) I want sugar in my tea!
I don't wanna be an old man anymore
It's been a year or two since I was out on the floor
Shaking booty, making sweet love all the night
It's time I got back to the good life
It's time I got back, it's time I got back
And I don't even know how I got off the track
I wanna go back, yeah!
I wanna go back, I wanna go back
And I don't even know how I got off the track
It's time I got back, it's time I got back
And I don't even know how I got off the track
I wanna go back, yeah!
And I don't wanna be an old man anymore
It's been a year or two since I was out on the floor
Shaking booty, making sweet love all the night
It's time I got back to the good life
It's time I got back, it's time I got back
And I don't even know how I got off the track
It's time I got back, it's time I got back
And I don't even know how I got off the track
I wanna go back (I wanna go back)
Weezer
Submitted by WhatTheHell (user info) at 2005-01-05 11:16:25 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
What about the "GayBaldMenWithSmallPenises: room you told me about.
(sorry I wouldn't meet you there buddy, I don't swing that way)
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2005-01-05 11:16:10 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I was actually gonna use that as a post but with a different title.
Submitted by WhatTheHell (user info) at 2005-01-05 11:14:39 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
what the hell man if they are comin at you , means they want somthin ,more better you look after them and care for them ,than they get on the street uh?
what the hell man if they are comin at you , means they want somthin ,more better you look after them and care for them ,than they get on the street uh?
what the hell man if they are comin at you , means they want somthin ,more better you look after them and care for them ,than they get on the street uh?
what the hell man if they are comin at you , means they want somthin ,more better you look after them and care for them ,than they get on the street uh?
what the hell man if they are comin at you , means they want somthin ,more better you look after them and care for them ,than they get on the street uh?
what the hell man if they are comin at you , means they want somthin ,more better you look after them and care for them ,than they get on the street uh?
what the hell man if they are comin at you , means they want somthin ,more better you look after them and care for them ,than they get on the street uh?
what the hell man if they are comin at you , means they want somthin ,more better you look after them and care for them ,than they get on the street uh?
what the hell man if they are comin at you , means they want somthin ,more better you look after them and care for them ,than they get on the street uh?
what the hell man if they are comin at you , means they want somthin ,more better you look after them and care for them ,than they get on the street uh?
what the hell man if they are comin at you , means they want somthin ,more better you look after them and care for them ,than they get on the street uh?
what the hell man if they are comin at you , means they want somthin ,more better you look after them and care for them ,than they get on the street uh?
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2005-01-05 11:12:39 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Besides UltimateBet.com, the only other "room" I visit would be http://hockeyfighters.com/
And Yahoo.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2005-01-05 11:10:45 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
MickGinny: 0 for 2. You're slumping there, champ.
Submitted by WhatTheHell (user info) at 2005-01-05 11:06:01 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
But don't I also have to call Mick a fatso...
And brag about my lifestyle... (shit, you did that already)....so forget that one.
And if Queen AsshLey shows up, you want to fuck her.. gotcha.
FUCK THAT.. "being" shlongy is too much to keep track of, I think I'll go back to stalker mode now.
Submitted by MickGinny (user info) at 2005-01-05 11:05:40 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
My question was rhetorical by the by.
Just as I am confident shlongy is an alter,I am also certain that you are a chatroom troll.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2005-01-05 11:03:08 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
WTH- Feel free to camp on this post all day. I need the hits and have to leave shortly to tee it up. OK?
Anyone that insults me, just call them a dipshit.
Any broad that stops by...tell them I wanna bang them.
That should about cover it. Appreciated.
Submitted by WhatTheHell (user info) at 2005-01-05 11:01:10 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Yup....
I guess it is, I was just a day late and a dollar short.
Submitted by WhatTheHell (user info) at 2005-01-05 11:00:13 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
"pathetic prevaricator"
WHOA!!
What the hell does THAT mean?
Let me guess.. this is the part where shlongy calls you a fat fuck, or something equally as intelligent right ?
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2005-01-05 10:59:18 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Hey...it's Mick Tracy!
You made the Bonus Question, fatso.
Isn't this a room? Or should I use "site", to be part of the cool clique?
And to answer your question, I don't know of any chat rooms, unless occassionally dropping a message in "Anything Goes Hockey Fights" looking for a particular battle, counts.
Submitted by MickGinny (user info) at 2005-01-05 10:56:17 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2005-01-05 10:30:37 (#)
Ranking: 0
Shut the fuck up, dipshit.
My dogs make more sense than you ever have in this room. And they're a helluva lot more entertaining than you'll ever be.
Then again, so was my morning shit.
______________
Why do you frequently refer to the uber forum as a room? Is it because you are also a pathetic prevaricator in internet chat rooms as well as here on uber?
Submitted by WhatTheHell (user info) at 2005-01-05 10:55:42 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
OK, Mr. Predictable... I will try not to.
Write something funny and I'll +2 your middle aged, pimpled ass off.
This was "0" material ... and that IS a "fact"
Can I get back to planning my stalking mission now ?....or do we need to continue this trite dialog?
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2005-01-05 10:48:32 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Don't confuse "facts" and "true statements and observations" with insults.
Submitted by WhatTheHell (user info) at 2005-01-05 10:45:36 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
What the Hell- Did anyone ever tell you you were "funny"?
Didn't think so. You're not. You're like an adult 13 year old with an obsession.
I bet you've heard THAT before.
----------------------
Ring a bell ?
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2005-01-05 10:44:39 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
That was directed at The Spook...Beane is the GM of the Oakland A's.
When have I ever insulted you?
Submitted by WhatTheHell (user info) at 2005-01-05 10:37:59 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
PS> Billy Beane knows what he's doing, in theory. It's not fun working for cheapskates and he's done all right the last 7 years or so
---------------------------------------------
Is this another obscure movie line I don't know about ?
who the fuck is BILLY BEANE ...what IS he doing ?? ... and who's he work for ?
Come on man... let me in on this one at least, if you are gonna insult me, clue me in.
Submitted by MaximusPadus (user info) at 2005-01-05 10:33:01 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
When your response is "Shut the fuck up," you know you've run out.
Thanks for playing, old gay man. I'm out of this fag "Room", I feel uncomfortable in here.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2005-01-05 10:30:37 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Shut the fuck up, dipshit.
My dogs make more sense than you ever have in this room. And they're a helluva lot more entertaining than you'll ever be.
Then again, so was my morning shit.
Submitted by MaximusPadus (user info) at 2005-01-05 10:28:26 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Oh yeah, making a quiz about yourself, a SECOND one to be exact, really makes me wonder. How much more of a gayfer can you be? Seriously. Question it. Don't respond, I'm not looking for a response. Just think about it in your little head with the complementing receding hairline.
Submitted by MaximusPadus (user info) at 2005-01-05 10:26:24 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Oooohh you really told me, pussy.
;-)
Submitted by BubbaEarl (user info) at 2005-01-05 10:17:41 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by WhatTheHell (user info) at 2005-01-05 09:13:21 (#)
Ranking: -2
If this guy/girl/alter/tranny/lesbian/midget/homosexual/old man/loser/wannabe ....<whew>
Why bring your partner into it?
If you want a piece of schlongys ass, there are better ways of getting his attention. Send him one of the pictures you've taken of your sphincter stretched around a peanut butter jar( I don't think you were brave enough to send them in to FHM. Let me know if he replys.
Good luck with teh gay luth!
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2005-01-05 10:13:15 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Coming from a dipshit like you, that doesn't mean a whole lot, now does it?
Submitted by MaximusPadus (user info) at 2005-01-05 10:02:40 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
-2 for being a pussy.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2005-01-05 09:56:54 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
What the Hell- Did anyone ever tell you you were "funny"?
Didn't think so. You're not. You're like an adult 13 year old with an obsession.
I bet you've heard THAT before.
Now get back to giving me my well deserved +2's.
PS> Billy Beane knows what he's doing, in theory. It's not fun working for cheapskates and he's done all right the last 7 years or so.
Submitted by WhatTheHell (user info) at 2005-01-05 09:13:21 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
If this guy/girl/alter/tranny/lesbian/midget/homosexual/old man/loser/wannabe ....<whew>
ANYWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY.... what was I saying ?
OH YEAH..... If SHLONGEATER was any MORE of a cocksmoker, he would be ....uhm... Well, I guess he would just be a giant cocksmoker.
Nevermind, I must track him down thru his email contacts with other Uber users, in which he might have left his guard down and sent real addresses or pictures... and gather all relevent information as to his real identity and whereabouts. Then I must step up the efforts to proffesionally stalk him, as he mentions in this great post.
I have made it my lifes mission to find and properly stalk the SHLONGED one.
I have quit my job and left my Wife and dogs... all for the cause.
I have put my house on the market to gather the resources needed to dedicate my life to finding him.
I have made numerous high explosive lined vests that I will wear when we meet.
I will give up my own life at the cost of taking his.
I-AM-A-STALKER..... (I guess?)
Submitted by Kent_Weirdo (user info) at 2005-01-05 09:03:27 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Gouge Away,
You can gouge away,
Stay all day,
If you want to...
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2005-01-05 09:03:07 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
#3
Shlongy lives in:
a) South Carolina
b) His car
c) Pluto
d) A trailer, down by the river
e) his moms basement
Submitted by Jeanneee (user info) at 2005-01-05 08:58:03 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
This is a funny post, Shlonged One.
Submitted by TheSpook (user info) at 2005-01-05 08:48:15 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2005-01-04 23:29:54 (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by TheSpook (user info) at 2005-01-04 23:28:32 (#)
Ranking: -2
The Oakland A's suck my ass.
What are you, some kind of jock sniffer? You a homo groupie? Please, tell all.
hahahahahahahah
What a tool. Good luck with no pitching this year, Oakland. Pretty soon Zito's going to be gone too. Oh yeah, and suck my ass.
Submitted by WhatTheHell (user info) at 2005-01-05 08:43:49 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Hey, at least grandpa mentioned me in his post....
AGAIN.....
Who's the fucking stalker here folks ?
This guy/alter gives me the willies.
Submitted by dedre (user info) at 2005-01-05 04:28:36 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
A -2, just to knock the +.3 down a hair
Submitted by Merlina (user info) at 2005-01-05 04:27:51 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
what? Who gives a flying fart about him anyway?!
Submitted by Chinaski (user info) at 2005-01-05 03:32:04 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
making shlongy a poster boy for elder abuse was fun- highfive, prof.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2005-01-04 23:29:54 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by TheSpook (user info) at 2005-01-04 23:28:32 (#)
Ranking: -2
The Oakland A's suck my ass.
What are you, some kind of jock sniffer? You a homo groupie? Please, tell all.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2005-01-04 23:28:47 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Are you shitting me? I can stay on as long as I stay "retired", which, based on my last 7 NFL wagers, might be a shorter time period than I originally first thought.
Why is it I've been playing $220's on my college bowl plays- which I've gone 10-6 the last two weeks, but $550's on my NFL plays - 1-6 during the same time frame?
That, my son, is a mystery.
Submitted by TheSpook (user info) at 2005-01-04 23:28:32 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
The Oakland A's suck my ass.
Submitted by Dead_0hi0_Sky (user info) at 2005-01-04 23:25:58 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
you dont have what it takes to last.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2005-01-04 23:14:16 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
He won't be?
Do you know something I don't, dipshit?
I mean, something besides your own secret dreams of all the pole you can swallow?
Submitted by Dead_0hi0_Sky (user info) at 2005-01-04 22:19:17 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
har har.
shlongy deserves this. hes just another ass who wont be around for long.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2005-01-04 22:08:49 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
The last two malcontents must have done poorly on this quiz.
That comes as no surprise to this neutral observer.
Submitted by BoogieFevuh (user info) at 2005-01-04 21:43:47 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Meh
Submitted by professorfuckface (user info) at 2005-01-04 21:41:26 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Who the fuck is 'we', shlongy? You and your cat?
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2005-01-04 21:30:28 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Did you just try and say something, dipshit?
When we want to hear from you, we just take a shit and say "howdy".
Submitted by Chinaski (user info) at 2005-01-04 21:07:30 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
fuck this self-aggrandizing dickhead. shlongy, i can't say it more plainly- I laugh at you everytime I see one of your posts, and you are a small-dicked homosexual with extraordinarily evident self-love crises.
Submitted by legallady (user info) at 2005-01-04 20:52:57 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I think I know waaay too much about you!!
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2005-01-04 20:26:47 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
That's a pretty neat campaign. A perfect 0 means I have just as many peeps that love me as hate me. And they're evened out by the peeps that couldn't give a shit. Amazing!
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2005-01-04 20:24:36 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Well, it's too late. It was a pic of me, drinking a beer, in the bleachers at the Coliseum in Oakland before a day game against the Indians. No great loss. Except, for the Uber broads.
Submitted by MyNameIsTim (user info) at 2005-01-04 20:24:11 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
this negative two is brought to you by the Keep Schlongy at 0.00 Average Rating Camp-agne
Submitted by magnus (user info) at 2005-01-04 20:23:28 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
We've got you in this fuckin' movie to exterminate all the lunitics all at once with a filtering system of God.
We're the psyco-semantic police, you can't even see us. How in the fuck can you do anything about it?
We're pure intellegence, your not. Your biological product of a comological universe.
Your molecular matter, I constructed you, fuck you.
I made you up, you didn't make me up, you got it backwards.
You know who you are? Your fuckin' semantic blockage, that's what made you up. You're a fuckin' programer named Christine Gontara.
You fucked up. She sucked my cock, fell in love, and she was locked in.
She's gonna get her second chance to suck my cock again. If she turns me down, she's gonna go straight to hell, she won't pass go, she'll never fuckin' win.
She's the cunt that thought she was God, but that's OK,
I don't give a shit. As long as she sucks me off when I tell her.
'Cause she's my zombie. I capured that mother fucker, and she's my cassette.
I want that cock sucker to send me at least fifty-thousand fuckin' dollars. If she can't do it I'll try ten.
If she can't do that, I'll try five, but that's it. If you got a dowry of five thousand dollars, come out here and suck me off, do what I tell you from now on, then you can join me for eternal time You went for line drawings and you fucked up you fuckin' idiot.
You brain-washed yourself you mother fuckin' stupid cock suckers, because you never studied your Holy Homework. That's two capital H's there, all the rest are lower case in any fuckin' case. Supreme Court, you are not the fucking Supreme Court of anything, except Hell!
For the next ten thousand years you will shovel your shit and eat it, because your on repeate mother fucker.
It just started backwards and you can't do a fuckin' thing about it.
The public are gonna take back every fuckin' thing that you took away from them you mother fucker.
Yes.
This is the deal. Yes, what is the deal?
You either cool it down right now... Or your gonna fuckin die!
...your outta here.
Oh, your gonna put me out? Well I ain't leavin' mother
fucker. Now what are you gonna do, what are you gonna do to this little kid? Eh?
Your gonna go to the psych ward.
Well good, that's where I wanna go.
Yea, your gonna be right there. So you better cool it down. You
better cool it down right now, I don't want to hear anything else out of
this room or you are gonna go to the psych ward. This is your last
oppertunity.
Yea, OK, get it. Let's go.
Shut your fuckin' mouth.
Alright.
And don't make anymore waves in the house. Otherwise you're going to the spyke ward.
Well, thats exactly what I'm gonna do, I'm gonna go to the psych
ward and so I'm gonna shoot my fuckin' mouth off, so get out of here.
Your cutting into my commercial.
You understand?
I'm making a fuckin' comercial, I'm a businessman! Get out of
here! Your trying to get in on this fuckin' thing, you ain't no star
asshole, your just a fuckin' arand boy.
Your the craziest son of a bitch I ever...
Exactly...I'm an American!
This is the last warning Raleigh.
Good, Shut Up!
[background laughter]
Anymore out of you and your going to the psyke ward.
See, you lie. You don't eat your feedback.
You need to understand that, as long as you understand that, that's
the rules Raleigh.
Whoever comes in this fuckin' room, I'm gonna fuckin' kill em!
That's what I gonna do.
Oh are ya? I'm in your room Raleigh.
Well you've come in aginst...this is my room.
I'm in your room, I'm in you room, I'm in your room.
Back out, back out, back out. Words don't bother me man, actions
do.
Let's do it, go for it dude.
Well if you come at me your gonna fuckin' die!
Go for it. I ain't going for nothing, you fuckin' reach for me and I'm
gonna take your arm off. Come on. Come on! I ain't commin, you come.
Cool it Raleigh. You understand that? You got it? Either you
cool it or your out of here, that's the only choice you have. Try it.
Your gone dude.
Who's gonna inforce it? Call the cops mutherfucker! Call the
cops.
You got witnesses right now? No witnesses, call the fucking cops! I'll call the fuckin' cops
on you, you cocksucker, right now.
Good. 911 - Just like that, and you will never get out of this. Good. Come on.
I would like an emergency call please, there's a psychopathic
trying to kill me in my fuckin' room, now get them cops over here to
1-2-3-O-9 Ventura Street please. He is standing in my door, I told him to
get out of here, and he tells me he's gonna put me in the psyco-tank, for
making my production here. Which is a science fiction magazine! And he's
trying to scare me 'cause he thinks he's big, but he's just a big pile of
shit! 'Cause I'll splatter him all over the fickin' wall. I hope you
record all that. That's a pre-programming for the police department! And
send 'em over here, 'cause I'm about to kill him in two seconds. Now get
'em over here as fast as you can please. I hope your recording this.
You don't know what love is.
Until you've learned the meaning of the blues.
Until you had a love you had to lose.
You don't know what love is.
Let's see. What's happening? The sacks are filling up again here yeah.
Well we can stop that thing ya know any fuckin' time we want, let's do it.
Submitted by BLITZKREIG_BOB (user info) at 2005-01-04 20:22:48 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by professorfuckface (user info) at 2005-01-04 20:18:59 (#)
Ranking: 0
I heard shlongy once walked in on his mother while she was in the shower.
-------
No, that was Tony from Who's The Boss.
Going drinking.
Now.
Submitted by MyNameIsTim (user info) at 2005-01-04 20:22:26 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Note: You cannot preview attachments. If you preview an attachment and then submit, the attachment will get lost. You must reattach it.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2005-01-04 20:21:07 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
That MIGHT be true but I didn't include that in the quiz because I had not shared that information in a prior post. But that's a very astute observation.
Submitted by professorfuckface (user info) at 2005-01-04 20:18:59 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I heard shlongy once walked in on his mother while she was in the shower.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2005-01-04 20:18:33 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Amazingly, Bob got 9 correct.
Did you cheat?
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2005-01-04 20:17:35 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Swell. Now I'm getting sympathy ratings. That's when you KNOW you're going bad.
Submitted by BLITZKREIG_BOB (user info) at 2005-01-04 20:17:19 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
The answer is C for all of them.
The preview thing when you post fucks your pictures up.
Fuck this. I think that I'm going out drinking.
Submitted by jack11058 (user info) at 2005-01-04 20:16:18 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
let's get shlongy to at least .01!
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2005-01-04 20:14:32 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
If you saw where that rating came from - I think my overall at one point was like -.78 ; you'd be partying like it was 1999.
I'm Even Steven- just like Seinfeld.
Submitted by youarsoghey (user info) at 2005-01-04 20:12:42 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Average rating of all messages: -0.00
I thought that was interesting. I'll give you a +2 just to see if I can turn that negative zero into a positive zero. My math teacher would kill me if he heard me talking like this.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2005-01-04 20:09:43 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
That's nice...Hey Bart, your site blows. Where's my fucking attachment?