Ubersite
Home - About Us - Contact
"Work is the scourge of the drinking classes." - Oscar Wilde
Welcome to Ubersite!
Search Ubersite
Search for:

Most Recently Reviewed
  1. How To Find That Annoying ...
  2. Grueberfest Round 3 - fals...
  3. Majul Cartoons is a faggot
  4. Netimportant
  5. Space Tourist Richard Garr...
  6. You Moron Yanks Seem To Th...
  7. Sophia Loren
  8. GrUeBERfest is good for yo...
  9. My adventures in a White C...
  10. Norway - Nation of Darknes...
more...
Most Heated
  1. This is a serious writers ... (66 heat)
  2. Norway - Nation of Darknes... (57 heat)
  3. People Like This Need To B... (53 heat)
  4. Bigger than Maddox... Oh, ... (47 heat)
  5. McCunt (or, John McCain Sh... (37 heat)
  6. Porn (32 heat)
  7. Is Tom Brokaw gonna BITCHS... (26 heat)
  8. Jack McCallum thanks for t... (23 heat)
  9. Should you kill yourself? (23 heat)
  10. Vote McCain or I'll Eat Yo... (22 heat)
more...
Most Viewed Messages
  1. The Ultimate MS Paint: It... (1143379 hits)
  2. "If I cum now, will it be ... (699018 hits)
  3. Exploiting Peer-to-Peer Ne... (385820 hits)
  4. How To Pick Up Chicks (325744 hits)
  5. Motivating the Weekend (305478 hits)
  6. Knockoff porn movie titles (300454 hits)
  7. My J-Date Misadventure (286201 hits)
  8. Licking A Bum's Ass (249757 hits)
  9. Badass Australian Cows (246884 hits)
  10. Totally Useless Facts (231191 hits)
more...
Most Viewed Authors
  1. Bart Cilfone (1455118 hits)
  2. Stanley Moore (1440210 hits)
  3. JMG114 (1378470 hits)
  4. Razor (1373072 hits)
  5. MickGinny (1283333 hits)
  6. loki (1060507 hits)
  7. Jonukah (972753 hits)
  8. weeeeep (923086 hits)
  9. outed (898707 hits)
  10. Cat Crooner Extraordinaire (884295 hits)
  11. Ubersite needs me! (876079 hits)
  12. Asian Men Love Me (873233 hits)
  13. Tom (831691 hits)
  14. Sideburns, MUHFUCKA (805680 hits)
  15. apollo88 (761613 hits)
  16. oy vey (754128 hits)
  17. T+I+G+E+R (750021 hits)
  18. Sorrell (742790 hits)
  19. Satan is my Motor (688758 hits)
  20. RON PAUL 2008! (684025 hits)
  21. HIDDEN101 (682719 hits)
  22. Sock Penis™ (677437 hits)
  23. Phil Phone (639397 hits)
  24. Todd White (639254 hits)
  25. T to the ToM (626286 hits)
  26. iddqd (618738 hits)
  27. kaos-king (603689 hits)
  28. comicbookguy (587513 hits)
  29. ♥ (581811 hits)
  30. O (577493 hits)
Click here to return to the list of messages.

Tender loving care (601 hits)

Category: None

Rating: 1.64 on 10 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Labels:

Submitted by Squijee <geoffrstone.at.hotmail.com> (View user info) at 2005-01-05 06:29:04 EST


Agnes lay in bed, her head propped up by pillows. Her bedpan called to her carer, like a boxer beckoning his opponent to come closer before delivering the knockout punch. She had set it up perfectly. Agnes rang the buzzer.

Scott noticed the light flashing in front of him. Agnes needed another bedpan. Scott grabbed another bedpan, took a deep breath, mustered all of his courage and strode confidently and accomodatingly into Agnes's room. Scott hated his job, and secretly wished all the old people would die, forcing him to find another job. He knew that this was impossible, but he felt that if he had an excuse, he may finally get into gear and pursue the career he had always dreamed of. Scott wanted to be a librarian.

Agnes waited in anticipation as Scott collected a new bedpan for her. She checked once again that she was positioned correctly. Her left leg slightly cocked, her robe revealing just a little bit of leg. The top half undone ever so slightly, as to reveal a hint of cleavage. A puff of perfume on her neck and privates and she was ready.

Agnes lay in position as Scott walked through the door. Immediately, the combination of tight uniform and rippling muscles sent Agnes into a head spin. At just the site of this fine young specimen of a man, she could feel herself moistening.

"Are you okay there Agnes? I'll just grab your bedpan then?"

Scott looked, and noticed that Agnes was still dripping into the pan.

"Oh, I'll just let you finish there."

"You can finish me off if you like," purred Agnes with a wink.

Scott froze in position.

Agnes realised a second later that it was not her primal juices flowing, and rather her uncontrollable bowel, but felt it wise not to mention it.

As the dripping came to an end, Scott reached for the bedpan, only to be met with a bony hand around his wrist. Agnes held his arm as tightly as her arthritis-ridden fingers could. She started directing his hand to her chest. "Touch me. Make me quiver. I want to feel you exploring my being."

Scott couldn't help noticing that Agnes was already quivering, and had been for the last 2 years. This didn't worry him as much as the drool did. Since he had entered the room, Agnes's drool had increased in tempo, and it begun pooling in large quantities on her chin, and dripping down between her once-youthful bosoms.

Scott realised that within a second, his hand would be feeling the intimate areas of a 93 year old woman. Although not as illegal as some of his previous sexual encounters, it was certainly the most emotionally and morally confronting. Scott decided, perhaps after too long, that this was a no-go. He quickly withdrew his hand.

Agnes knew this would happen. She had planned for it. Although she was 93, her brain still worked like a 35 year old, especially after her happy pills. Agnes yanked on the tube running from her arm to her IV bag. She had positioned the bag and its rack at the end of her bed, and Scott had to bend over between her and it to collect her waste. As she yanked it, it slammed into Scott, forcing him to lose balance and fall upon her. The fecal matter splashed across the linoleum floor, but she didn't care.

Agnes reached around Scott's neck, trapping him on top of her. She held his lips against hers, as she tried desperately to find an opening for her tongue to make an entrance. Scott's eyes were now wider than they ever had been, his nose breathing as heavily as it ever had been, and his lips as tight as anyone's ever had been.

Agnes was getting frustrated. She couldn't take any more of this teasing. She let go of his neck with one of her arms, and tried to find Scott's pride and joy. Her fingers were nimble as they ever had been, as she untucked his shirt and delved into his trousers in one swift motion.

Scott felt an arm leave his neck, and felt this was his chance to get away. The addition of a hand down his pants confirmed it. Scott lifted his upper body from the bed with this new found freedom. He jumped back from the bed, trying to free his equipment from the prying hands of this geriatric vixen. Unfortunately, her grip was too strong.

Agnes felt her full body weight being pulled by Scott's manhood, and this just made her more excited.

Her grip tightened. Scott's retreat quickened. Agnes began falling.

Agnes fell to the ground, her limbs contorted into unnatural positions, amongst a pool of her own filth. Scott sensed it was time for him to go, and quickly exited the room and then the building. Agnes lay in total agony, her face covered with Scott had come to clean.

It was then, that Agnes vowed to become a lesbian.

Submit to Digg Submit to StumbleUpon

User Reviews


Submitted by c1ndy (user info) at 2005-06-20 06:34:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

horrible

Submitted by Squijee (user info) at 2005-03-30 10:31:32 EST (#)
Ranking: 0

WTF?

Why the hell did I write site instead of sight?

I hate myself.

Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2005-01-12 07:58:56 EST (#)
Ranking: 2

<ejaculates>

Submitted by Jay_Bassman (user info) at 2005-01-08 08:32:12 EST (#)
Ranking: 2

Librarian. Almost as good as Buddhist.

Yesss... personal friend circle joke on an international site! An uber-site, if you will.

Submitted by Squijee (user info) at 2005-01-05 19:25:04 EST (#)
Ranking: 0

You read this because you're a dirty little pervert.

Submitted by munkeypants (user info) at 2005-01-05 13:43:40 EST (#)
Ranking: 0

OH GOD WHY DID YOU MAKE ME READ THIS?

WHY COULDN'T I STOP READING THIS?

Submitted by fishgenie (user info) at 2005-01-05 08:12:41 EST (#)
Ranking: 2

CRAP i meant to rate this as a 2, i destroyed the perfect score (so far)

Submitted by Awko (user info) at 2005-01-05 07:10:02 EST (#)
Ranking: 2

Mmmmmm....

Geriatrics and fecal matter.


Excuse me a minute...

Submitted by fishgenie (user info) at 2005-01-05 06:52:04 EST (#)
Ranking: 1

how disturbing... you're going to hell, i think. i am too, though, so meet me at the gate :)

Submitted by CaptainAmik (user info) at 2005-01-05 06:36:11 EST (#)
Ranking: 2

So disturbing...However "Scott wanted to be a librarian" yup...that sealed it for me.


Jeez. No beer ... no opera dogs ...

-- Homer Simpson
Bart the Genius