Lunch Pails WOMEN PART 1 (WITH PIC) (2019 hits)
Category: RomanceRating: -1.39 on 76 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Lunch_Pail (View user info) at 2005-01-05 19:03:23 EST
Women piss me off plain and simple.
I just called my latest "interest" and there was no answer. I dont know why but this pisses me off and I figured now is a good time to vent my frustration right before my work out.
Anyway, on with the point. Women are crooked. Thats all I can say. Now men are crooked too but there are some good ones (like myself) as there are some good women. Now this is going to be poorly written but I don't give 2 shits. First off I'll talk about my last 3 "interests".
Vicki
17 years old (I was 21 then). THis is a bad situation from the word go. I met her on yahoo and she lied about her age. OK no biggie because 16 is legal here in Iowa. I pick her up the next day and she is smokin. "Holy shit what have I gotten myself into?" We go rent a few movies and go to my dad's to watch them as he has pimp rides and a nice house- figured Id act like a baller, lol. The night progresses and I have a few drinks. I was a little confused here because I didnt think she was attracted to me at all (this was my first "interest" after losing a ton of weight). Suddenly she snuggles up to me on the couch- jackpot. I hold her real tight the rest of the night without making a sexual advance (Im a gentlemen). I drop her off and she hugs me- I lean in and give her a long passionate kiss (im a good kisser, ive been told). She leaves and Im going nuts- not beleiving Im hooking up with a hottie. Im kinda emotional (not crying type but I get very passionate in my beleifs and shit and I do beleive in love at first site) I fell in love with her on the first night and told her this like a dumbass. She did what any woman would do with a man that loves them- she walked all over me. My vision clouded by love I did everything I could think of to make her happy- most of which she didnt ask for but I knew she wanted. Now a few days later she says she doesnt want a boyfriend yet but we should still talk. OK, coo. Then a couple weeks later she says she loves me- all is well. I have a party and her friend tells me my friend is trying to get on Vicki. Vicki all of a sudden wants to leave so I drive her back home clear across town- arguing the whole way about how im gonna bash my friends head. Thinking it was his fault, I wasnt mad at her. We spent 3 weeks always together having a blast. Then one night she gets mad because I was drunk and when she went to leave after our kiss I kinda pulled her back because I wanted to kiss her more. The next day she is acting real shady and says she doesnt love me but freaks out when I tell her we shouldnt talk any more. So we keep "talking" then one night we go camping with my friend and his family which im very close to. I get plastered. Were laying in the back of my Jeep about to go to sleep when she says she wants to go home- fuck that. Im drunk as shit. So we argue for like 2 hours and I take her home (she doesnt care who gets hurt as long as she gets what she wants). Im pissed and dont give her a kiss when we get back. I then call and apologize- why I dont know. Then I go golfing with Tim who is kinda hardcore and I decide to tell her to go fuck herself. I go on some spiel and rip her apart she gets pissed and hangs up on me- awwww helll no I didnt get to tell her were through. I call back and her retarded 16 year old friend tells me hes gonna kick my ass- what a joke. I never spoke to her again.
Turns out she told my friend she wanted to suck his dick- thats cute it was all HER fault.
Ok to keep these posts short Ill do 3 seperate ones.
Ok heres my pic for the first time on ubersite- rip me apart I dont give a fuck. Maybe if some uber ladies want a true sweetheart they will hit me up, LOL!
My final post in this series will have some theories about women.
User Reviews
Submitted by Lunch_Pail (user info) at 2005-05-15 06:23:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
oo -2 for me! oops
-2 die
Submitted by Lunch_Pail (user info) at 2005-05-15 06:22:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
right on!!! aahahahahahaha. only problem is i hate that faggot frat boy fuck chris evans. good theory moron.
Submitted by Or_ (user info) at 2005-05-14 22:53:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
This post is hilarious. I am tempted to give it higher than a -2. As I was reading this, my Chris Evans alarm was going off...
And then someone called you cock-pillow.
... And then Chris Evans was the next respondant.
Is that you, Chris? Is it? Oh my God it is.
Submitted by Rawrg (user info) at 2005-05-14 21:43:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Lunch_Pail (user info) at 2005-05-14 13:40:23 (#)
Ranking: 0
yeah all the idiots talkin shit about my arm- heres a newer link: http://www.ubersite.com/m/57611
call me fat. i dont give a fuck. you think i care about this dumbass website?
...
You cared enough to respond.
Submitted by MrWillard (user info) at 2005-05-14 19:40:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
http://www.doubleyourdating.com
Submitted by Mario (user info) at 2005-05-14 16:32:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
You mong...when the first one snuggled up to you, it was an invitation for an advance. There's a difference between being a gentleman and being so unsure of yourself that you don't make a move.
Don't hate women in general...you can dislike the chickenheads and avoid being around them, but I'd hate a world without women, I love their company.
And one more thing, I don't know what you look like now, but I hope you started working out your shoulder girdle a little better. Having big arms is stupid if you don't have some big ass traps and really developed delts to go with them. Shoulders, in my experience, are what women notice first.
Woulda -2'd this post, but I couldn't. Give it time.
Submitted by shitfuck (user info) at 2005-05-14 14:49:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Submitted by Lunch_Pail (user info) at 2005-01-05 19:45:06 (#)
Ranking: 0
...
My arms are bigger now. I DIDNT PRESSURE HER AT ALL. I didnt do anything sexual with her- I truly am a nice guy. Oh yeah also- all you cats talkin head I could probably stomp u out no problem. You gotta figure this in- I lost 80 lbs and gained alot of muscle, Im very proud of my body now- sorry if its not up to par with all you lucky fuckers that were born with big muscles.
...
AUTISM!!!!!!
Submitted by Anansie (user info) at 2005-05-14 14:30:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
You mean you're going to post more tripe like this? This is horrible. I wouldn't even wipe my ass with a printout of this because it would be like wiping shit with shit.
If you're going to write a fucking story about your love life, try to make it at least REMOTELY interesting or don't write it at all.
Submitted by Socialist_Joe (user info) at 2005-05-14 14:30:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
its offical you suck
Submitted by Avals (user info) at 2005-05-14 14:12:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by Lunch_Pail (user info) at 2005-05-14 13:50:04 (#)
Ranking: 0
avals you dont even have the balls to post a picture of yourself so your speaking privileges having been revoked. have a nice day.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
http://www.ubersite.com/m/63190#1257643
Fucking retard.
Submitted by shitfuck (user info) at 2005-05-14 14:11:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Do yourself a favour and don't come back here.
Submitted by shitfuck (user info) at 2005-05-14 14:08:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
"Im kinda emotional (not crying type but I get very passionate in my beleifs and shit and I do beleive in love at first site) I fell in love with her on the first night and told her this like a dumbass."
AUTISM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Submitted by shitfuck (user info) at 2005-05-14 14:02:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
You are a retarded third grader.
Submitted by shitfuck (user info) at 2005-05-14 13:54:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
AHAHHHAHAHAHHHHHHHHAHAHAHHHAAAAAAHAHAHHHAHAHHHAHAHHAHAHHAAAAA
Ugly.
Submitted by Lunch_Pail (user info) at 2005-05-14 13:50:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
avals you dont even have the balls to post a picture of yourself so your speaking privileges having been revoked. have a nice day.
Submitted by Lunch_Pail (user info) at 2005-05-14 13:40:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
yeah all the idiots talkin shit about my arm- heres a newer link: http://www.ubersite.com/m/57611
call me fat. i dont give a fuck. you think i care about this dumbass website?
Submitted by Avals (user info) at 2005-05-14 13:27:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Keep working on these biceps. Maybe one day ... in the far, far future ... you'll actually have some muscle there.
Your face, though... Well, I think that's pretty much a lost cause.
Oh, and STOP WRITING LIKE A FUCKING RETARDED THIRD-GRADER.
Submitted by Sassmasterr (user info) at 2005-05-14 12:44:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
LOL?
are you 12?
Submitted by 2x4fun (user info) at 2005-05-14 12:31:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
i could kick your ass.my biceps own yours.woooosh.
Submitted by missflibble (user info) at 2005-05-13 07:20:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
what are you? TWELVE??
Submitted by GYUNYUU (user info) at 2005-05-13 06:55:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Holy Shit...i know i am new at this, but honestly...The bulge in my pants is bigger than the bulge on your arm.
Submitted by fluff (user info) at 2005-02-27 06:35:29 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment
Submitted by xenon (user info) at 2005-01-27 14:04:58 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment
Submitted by Wazza (user info) at 2005-01-27 13:57:28 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
It's obvious you didn't fuck her enough!
Submitted by Lunch_Pail (user info) at 2005-01-27 13:23:20 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
ahahaha mickginny
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2005-01-27 06:07:50 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Tool.
Submitted by MickGinny (user info) at 2005-01-25 09:47:21 EST (#)
Ranking: -1
"I just called my latest "interest" and there was no answer. I dont know why but this pisses me off and I figured now is a good time to vent my frustration right before my work out."
WHO IN THE FUCK does she think she is? apparently you didnt give her the "talk". Or you skipped over part 3 section 2A of the manual.
an excerpt for reference:
"you listen to me bitch! if I decide to call you, you had damn well better be there and answer that phone by the second ring!"
Submitted by tuesdaydelay (user info) at 2005-01-25 08:42:54 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
You look like Hadooken.
Submitted by beer-turtle (user info) at 2005-01-06 18:31:05 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by Lunch_Pail (user info) at 2005-01-06 01:00:45 (#)
Ranking: 0
ahahahahaha. that hurricane and jelly fish shit was comedy.
to the guy talkin shit:
im proud of my arm poop dick. 1 year ago its like fat and bone. and its bigger now. ill get a pic of my arm now and of when i was extra fat for the next one.
-------------------------------------------------------
So what you're saying is that there were extra benefits for masturbation for you? The one armed workout does that for a lot of guys who jerk off at least twice a day.
May I suggest alternating which hand you use every other day. Chicks dig symmetry (that's when both sides match)
-B
Submitted by Lunch_Pail (user info) at 2005-01-06 18:17:57 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
hahahaha embarassed? because of a web site? you are pathetic if you get embarrssed online.
i wasnt plastered all the time, just most of it- lol. like i said before i hold my liquor very well, most people cant even tell when im drunk.
yeah i guess the arm pic should go- its an old pic that i had already edited. i am still very proud of the way i look now- id like to see you fuckers put in the work to lose 80 lbs.
Submitted by PhiTappaAss (user info) at 2005-01-06 12:50:35 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
I actually feel embarassed for you.
Submitted by c1ndy (user info) at 2005-01-06 10:31:58 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
why the arm picture?
Submitted by fluff (user info) at 2005-01-06 10:15:51 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
-2 for the pics. The rest i haven't read.
Submitted by Adamdidit2u (user info) at 2005-01-06 09:58:30 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
You let her walk all over you and you didn't even fuck her.
You're a guy
Act like it
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2005-01-06 09:38:28 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
My old "Peanuts" lunch pail is in better shape than you are.
Submitted by CoreaPeekay (user info) at 2005-01-06 09:35:45 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by CookieLass (user info) at 2005-01-05 19:23:00 (#)
Ranking: -2
um... so YOU'RE a lame moron who decided you were in love after one date, proceeded to do everything for a girl you hardly even knew despite the fact that she never asked you to, pressured a TEENAGER into a relationship with you that she told you from the get-go that she didn't want, yet WOMEN are the crooked ones, and she's a bitch? Because you're an idiot?
Fucking blonde boys. Wouldn't touch one of you with a 10-foot pole.
Hey what the hell is wrong with blondes? I have great hair and I'm a nice guy, unlike this fruitbag. psshh i resent that.
Submitted by mrwolf (user info) at 2005-01-06 09:27:52 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
You got some tough shit for this. Based on some of your replies and your silly camwhore maybe you deserve it, maybe not, hard to say.
The only thing wrong with your post, was falling in love after 2 minutes, the camwhore, and the attrocious grammer, punctuation spelling and lack of a proof read. Other than that it wasn't a desperately bad read.
Submitted by Jeanneee (user info) at 2005-01-06 08:58:02 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Chris Evans? Is that you?
Submitted by rurumon (user info) at 2005-01-06 08:48:31 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Hey bobby, King of the Hill called and they need you back to wear some more leotards.
Dude, I fail to see how women are fucking up from your verbal diarrhea you call a post. It appears to me that his "stupid bitch" started acting weird because you were fucking plastered all the time. She also probably got spooked when you told her you loved her. I think you need to grow up man.
Submitted by Lunch_Pail (user info) at 2005-01-06 01:10:23 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
oh yeah that wave runner does 70 even wit my big ass on it !
Submitted by Lunch_Pail (user info) at 2005-01-06 01:00:45 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
ahahahahaha. that hurricane and jelly fish shit was comedy.
to the guy talkin shit:
im proud of my arm poop dick. 1 year ago its like fat and bone. and its bigger now. ill get a pic of my arm now and of when i was extra fat for the next one.
Submitted by pen_name (user info) at 2005-01-06 00:54:34 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
you better make sure not to jump around too much, or your fleet will be in for some choppy weather.
"avast! hurricains and jellyfish!"
Submitted by chipolatte (user info) at 2005-01-06 00:50:00 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
i cannot believe you put a picture of your barely muscled arm ONLY in there. absolutely pathetic.
Submitted by beer-turtle (user info) at 2005-01-06 00:43:05 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
oh yeah... and I think Cookielass would beat the shit shit out of you so bad that your dad would laugh at you more than he already does.
-B
Submitted by Lunch_Pail (user info) at 2005-01-06 00:41:24 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
ha
Submitted by beer-turtle (user info) at 2005-01-06 00:38:02 EST (#)
Ranking: -1
I see roofies and date rape in your future. You look like a Frat boy 'cept retarded.
-B
Submitted by Lunch_Pail (user info) at 2005-01-06 00:14:37 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
oh yeah bitch- beleive it or not im a smart ass mother fucker. i can type flawless shit if i want but this is uber site not some fuking professional newspaper. go home.
Submitted by Lunch_Pail (user info) at 2005-01-06 00:13:07 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
lol, thanks bro. shes one of those read alot dont go party square ass bitches. get a life hoe bag.
Submitted by PoloboiGC (user info) at 2005-01-06 00:07:23 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
dude Fatty lunch pail.
Your the man.
Don't worry cookielass is just made because well lets be honest..
shes a ugly bitch.. sorry not trying to be mean.. but your like a ugly,nerdy seirous chick that I sure as fuck wouldn't date.
in other words I'm to pretty for you bitch..
busted bitchs always talk shit. How I know? well the pretty ones wouldn't waste there time.
+2 again fatman
Submitted by CookieLass (user info) at 2005-01-06 00:04:05 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
HA! I'm crying my eyes out over the fact that a Corky Serwood looking bastard such as yourself with absolutely no command of the english language wouldn't want to date me because of a picture of me with dildos photoshopped to my head! It's a pretty fucking kickass picture too, might I add. Better than anything you'll ever do, cock-pillow.
Submitted by TimeCop (user info) at 2005-01-06 00:04:00 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
I hate your sunglasses. And your tiny boxing gloves. Also, your hat. My friend Michael lost 100 pounds and is screwing an elementary school teacher.
Submitted by Lunch_Pail (user info) at 2005-01-05 23:48:13 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
this coming from the busted bitch with dicks comin out her head? i wouldnt even date you. lol.
by the way girl #2 barfed on that shirt and ruined it! ill tell the story soon. I did really like that shirt though, alot of people didnt but i did- thats all that matters!
Submitted by CookieLass (user info) at 2005-01-05 23:39:23 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
That boat shirt is ugly, and you have no chin. You also resemble a kid with downs syndrome.
Strongly.
Submitted by Lunch_Pail (user info) at 2005-01-05 23:28:35 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
hey thanks, lol. You shoulda seen me before i lost 80lbs! im slimmer now than in these pics though. still big though- i wanna stay kinda big not like all you skinny punks round here.
Submitted by Dead_0hi0_Sky (user info) at 2005-01-05 23:27:37 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
lunchbox.
Submitted by PoloboiGC (user info) at 2005-01-05 23:19:50 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
lunch pail your a fatass!
but hey I like fat people so heres a +2
Submitted by maiorano84 (user info) at 2005-01-05 22:04:44 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Awwwww wookit da widdle piglet wif aaalll dat muscle!!
Submitted by CookieLass (user info) at 2005-01-05 21:59:15 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Much better, Jay.
Submitted by jgreening (user info) at 2005-01-05 21:16:28 EST (#)
Ranking: -1
Ooooooooooooooohhhhhhh...
Then I've always been various shandes of VERY light brown...
How's about that?
Submitted by CookieLass (user info) at 2005-01-05 20:42:20 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
HAHAHAHAHAHA pen name.... you hush too! There will be NO laughing at my expense, unless of course it's this: http://www.ubersite.com/m/55955 and mostly just because that's COOL
Submitted by pen_name (user info) at 2005-01-05 20:39:16 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
"Blonde boys just don't do it for me."
there's a punchline there. i won't say it...we need a 12-year-old...
any in the house?
Fuck it.
"that's because they do it TO you."
2 shows a night, all week.
Submitted by Lunch_Pail (user info) at 2005-01-05 20:36:28 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
WHat thats it? My post, with a pic of myself even, dies this quick with minimal rippage on my pic?? FUck. LOL
Ghetto boarding it is! (wheeless skateboard behind car or down my street)
Submitted by CookieLass (user info) at 2005-01-05 20:08:49 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
hush Jay. Don't go admitting to being blonde in the past, or else I can't pretend you're sexy anymore. Blonde boys just don't do it for me.
Submitted by Lunch_Pail (user info) at 2005-01-05 19:55:41 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
to the person that said I "pressured" her. How far was your head up your ass when you read this? You musta missed the part where I tried to break it off.
Submitted by Lunch_Pail (user info) at 2005-01-05 19:49:33 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Oh yeah, to you ladies talkin head:
You aint got nothin to say about her wanting to suck my friends dick because you have probably pulled some shit like that on your boyfriends.
I did bring her flowers all the time- completely at random not because I fucked up. And for the drunk pics- I can hold my liquor extremely well as long as Im not smokin any reefer, so forget about getting a pic with marker all over my face cuz I passed out- lol. Nobody that knows me has the balls to fuck with me anyway.
Submitted by pen_name (user info) at 2005-01-05 19:47:32 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
"Oh yeah also- all you cats talkin head I could probably stomp u out no problem"
you need a website
Submitted by Lunch_Pail (user info) at 2005-01-05 19:45:06 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
LOL.
No im not some lonely douchebag. I have tons of friends, was nominated to prom court in high school, popular and whatever. But even with all that shit Im still nice to everyone- I have a ton of "nerdy" friends and I dont think Im better than anyone like some people in my situation would think.
My arms are bigger now. I DIDNT PRESSURE HER AT ALL. I didnt do anything sexual with her- I truly am a nice guy. Oh yeah also- all you cats talkin head I could probably stomp u out no problem. You gotta figure this in- I lost 80 lbs and gained alot of muscle, Im very proud of my body now- sorry if its not up to par with all you lucky fuckers that were born with big muscles.
Anyway- continue with the rippage- I dont give a fuck what anyone on here says about me.
Submitted by jgreening (user info) at 2005-01-05 19:44:47 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Um, Cookie...
I'm blonde...
Well, more like very light brown nowadays, but still, up until I was 16, I was platinum...
Submitted by Kre8rix (user info) at 2005-01-05 19:35:58 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
"We go rent a few movies and go to my dad's to watch them as he has pimp rides and a nice house- figured Id act like a baller, lol."
"OK, coo."
"I go on some spiel and rip her apart she gets pissed and hangs up on me- awwww helll no I didnt get to tell her were through."
"Maybe if some uber ladies want a true sweetheart they will hit me up, LOL!"
---------
And it didn't work out?
I, for one, am amazed.
Submitted by ruthless (user info) at 2005-01-05 19:32:08 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Oh my.
Submitted by pen_name (user info) at 2005-01-05 19:31:42 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
hahahaha
Submitted by CookieLass (user info) at 2005-01-05 19:30:52 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Oh yeah, and your arm looks like a tube sock with tennis balls shoved inside it.
Submitted by pen_name (user info) at 2005-01-05 19:26:26 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
ok, the story was funny, basically cause I laughed at your failure...sorry.
But the pictures were even funnier...the set on the left showing your "athletic side" the ones on the right (with the exception of a scrawny bicep) your "just chillin'" side.
If you are going to continue, we need more sides. We need romantic side (holding flowers) bored side (playing nintendo) desperate side (running after a cab/running away from a cab) and drunken side (hand down your pants).
It's obvious you are an onion; take advantage of it. Let's see those layers!!!
Submitted by CookieLass (user info) at 2005-01-05 19:23:00 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
um... so YOU'RE a lame moron who decided you were in love after one date, proceeded to do everything for a girl you hardly even knew despite the fact that she never asked you to, pressured a TEENAGER into a relationship with you that she told you from the get-go that she didn't want, yet WOMEN are the crooked ones, and she's a bitch? Because you're an idiot?
Fucking blonde boys. Wouldn't touch one of you with a 10-foot pole.
Submitted by professorfuckface (user info) at 2005-01-05 19:15:17 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
LOL!
My theory is you are a woman. An ugly bull-dyke hefty sack of shit. You aren't ripped, you're just fat.
Submitted by Freakmagnet (user info) at 2005-01-05 19:14:32 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
You are a fucking dumbass. But keep posting, I have to know how else you fucked up big time.