The way to hell... through Oklahoma. (423 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 0.67 on 6 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by <DifferentTrains> (View user info) at 2005-01-06 08:07:13 EST
It was a slow moving day in downtown Oklahoma City County, where all us ganstas reside, werd. And man, was we chillen. So on with the story eh?
I happened to make my way down an allyway on my attempt towards a shorter route to work. Little did I know, that I didn't even live in Oklahoma. But this is besides the point, eh?
So as I make my way down this allyway, I come across this old lady, who's struggling to make her way up, I mean, she can barely even stand. She's muttering something under her breath, and it sounds vaguely familiar... a plea for help? I just had no idea what to do. This was [really] unlike anything I had ever seen before. I was used to the "madmen" running around, begging for drug money, but this was different. You could just ignore those old fucks anyway. This old lady was pulling on my heartstrings, and she didn't even have to speak in coherent sentences. This befuddled me, so I inquired further into the matter.
"Are you alright, ma'am?" Started I, not fully expecting a real answer.
"Well you see there, I'd like to address that comment" Started the lady, in the finest Southern accent I had ever heard. Or at least I assumed it was a southern accent. I had never heard one before anyway, so what did it matter?
"Well uhhh... uhhhhmmm... ye... ok." Stuttered the unsuspecting I.
"I'm hooked on coke. I need money for coke. I suck dick for coke. You got a dick? I suck the dick. I make the money, you go on your way, I get a fix, and then another poor dick comes along and asks me what's wrong. So without further adieu, I present to you: Grandman Rose's Sucking Service of Sensuality. Or... something like that, anyway."
And to this sudden statement, I had no comment. I was so flabberghasted that some crumpled old lady on some fucking side street decided to tell me this, that I just kinda didn't know what to say. So I didn't. I just kinda looked at her, as she crawled over to me, and started to unzip my pants.
I was thinking: "DEAR GOD, WHAT HAVE I DONE TO DESERVE THIS?!"
But on the other hand... I was also considering it: "Well... she DOESN'T have any teeth..."
And so that's how it happened. A mix of sensuality on all levels coincided with animosity on all levels within a 15 second span.
After my glorius premature orgasm, I punched the old lady in her nose.
Well surely that's not it, is it? Well to all those who crave more.. who thrive for more thrilling. Lookat da pickcha.
User Reviews
Submitted by Joemama (user info) at 2005-01-06 22:42:41 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by RyuFu (user info) at 2005-01-06 10:43:34 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
USC force-fed Oklahoma a few gallons of semen.
Submitted by Adamdidit2u (user info) at 2005-01-06 10:00:13 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Just because you punched her
Submitted by Jeanneee (user info) at 2005-01-06 09:53:26 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
I liked it...
You and Chinaski need to get together and have a "Banging Old Ladies" party.
Submitted by AwesomeJohnson (user info) at 2005-01-06 09:00:57 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
coke, old sluts, fellatio, premature ejaculation, punching sluts.... add in some angry bobcats and you would have had it..
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2005-01-06 08:41:15 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment