Necrosiac 29 (898 hits)
Category: NoneLabels: Necro
Rating: 2 on 23 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Snark << snarkk.at.gmail.com (View user info) at 2005-01-06 11:17:50 EST
NECROSIAC 29
"This Way!"
Lilly grabbed the nice ladies hand and did her best to pull her away from the heavy dark wooden door in front of them.
"What's behind here Lilly?"
The red haired girl fingered the large bronze key hanging from the chord around her neck for a second, then took a deep breath and answered.
"That's Daddies office" she whispered "He doesn't live there anymore, so I locked the Red Man in there"
Taela Smith put an inquisitive hand against the thick wooden barrier then pulled it back quickly in surprise.
"It's hot"
"Uh huh. We have to keep moving"
Lilly glanced down the dark musty hall behind them, half expecting to see the bad lady and the clown monster thing charging towards them, but it was empty.
With an impatient muffled squeal she pulled on Taela's hand again.
"They'll find us unless we hide" she whispered urgently "They'll find us and then she'll make you go away like she did Mommy!"
The sudden loud "Thump" of a door slamming shut from somewhere beyond the thick darkness at the end of the hall caused them both to jump.
"Ok honey" said Taela "Show me where we should hide this time"
Lilly brushed a tear from her cheek with her free hand and looked up at the strangely dark skinned woman standing above her. She tried her best to look as brave as her new friend but, try as she might, she couldn't keep from shivering.
"This way"
With all the speed her little feet could muster she pulled Taela down an adjacent hall to the door at the other end, then quickly fit her key into the lock and twisted. The white painted door opened before them with a disquietingly loud creak and they both stepped hurriedly through into the gloomy broom closet beyond.
As soon as they were inside, Lilly shut the door behind them, locked it, and pulled the string dangling above their heads. The dusty interior was instantly cloaked in a yellow glow from the single dust covered bulb hanging above.
The cluttered closet was filled with shelves, each stuffed with dusty everyday cleaning supplies. Various wood handled mops and brooms stood in one corner at the back and a large open trunk full of rags sat open against the rear wall.
Taela took in her surroundings then leaned down to the pale, wide green eyed child beneath her and put a consoling hand to one fragile tear streaked cheek.
"Honey, I'm not sure if this is such a good spot" she said softly "If they find us here we can't get out"
Lilly shook her head fervently "I hide here a lot" she whispered "I can always get out. She used to lock me in here but she stopped after I kept getting out. I know all the secret tunnels"
Taela leaned down to look her tiny savior in the eyes and asked "Honey, do you understand who she is?"
"Uhn huh" came the meek reply "She's the bad me. Her name is Lillith"
"Do you understand where you are?"
"Uhn huh. I'm inside me. Lillith told me so. She's mean but she doesn't lie I don't think"
Taela did her best to smile warmly at the enigma in front of her, then smoothed the chaos of ringlets from the girl's hair and continued her questioning.
"How long have you been here? How long have you been locked inside this part of your mind?"
"Oh I've always been here" Lilly replied "I'm not supposed to go outside and there are scary things in the basement"
"You've never been outside the house? You've never been in your whole body?"
Lilly scuffed the dust at her feet guiltily with one foot "Welllll... Once I did but I didn't like it very much. I wasn't a little girl anymore when I left here, and I think I saw my brother, but he looked much older than I remember, and plus he was mean. Then Lillith came and she was mad, and she brought me back here, and locked me in the basement with the scary people for a long time in the dark."
For a moment Taela resisted the urge to choke the life out of the memory of innocence standing before her. For a moment a need for revenge filled her and she almost gave in to the dark desire to do to Lilly what Lillith had done to her most precious memories, but she found herself increasingly disarmed by the girl's genuine, blunt sweetness. After a brief moment the feeling passed and she found herself hoping her momentary fury hadn't been too evident on her face.
"How does she lock you in if you have the key?"
Lilly fingered the cold metal where it lay against the bodice of her dusty pink dress and looked guiltier than before.
"I took it from her when I found you all lying on the floor... then I woke you up and we ran. Do you remember?"
Taela did her best to smile and nodded her head "Yes Lilly I do. You are a very brave little girl. Can you tell me why you saved me?"
Lilly glanced up at her shyly then replaced her gaze to the space between her nervously shuffling feet.
"I don't really want to talk about that" she mumbled.
"Please Lilly. I would really like to know"
"Cuz"
"Cuz why honey?"
Lilly crossed her hands behind her back and began to sway back and forth in time with her feet.
"Ummm just cuz" she whispered self consciously "Cuz I am very lonely and you are very beautiful. You look like a doll mommy gave me before Lillith took her away"
"Why did Lillith take your mommy away?"
"Cuuuzzz I was bad. I wouldn't listen and I kicked her in the shin and she got really really mad"
Lilly began to sob and Taela found herself wrapping her arms around her almost despite herself.
"It's OK honey" she soothed "You're not alone now.
"I miss Mommy" Lilly choked "She was warm and nice and she always told me I am pretty and good"
"You are very pretty dear. You're pretty and smart and brave. Your Mommy was very lucky to have you"
Lilly held Taela tight and cried freely. After awhile she stopped and stepped half smiling from Taela's gentle embrace.
"I'm glad I saved you" she said "I'm not so lonely anymore"
Taela took one delicate hand in her own and smiled genuinely "I'm very glad to meet you too. My name is Taela"
"That's a pretty name"
"Thank you. So is yours"
Lilly giggled self consciously and resumed kicking at the dust at her feet.
"Now I can give the key back to Lillith" she said almost cheerily "Then she'll go away and we can visit. I have a tea set in my roo..."
Taela grabbed the girl by her shoulders firmly enough to cause her to yelp.
"No" she said crossly "You mustn't give the key to Lillith ever!"
"But then she'll go! She's already going to be soooo mad Ms Taela but if I give her the key..."
Taela felt the all too familiar icy grip of fear begin to wrap around her and shook Lilly despite herself.
"No! You must promise me you won't give the key back"
Lilly's eyes began to brim with tears once again.
"No no no no"
The child's high pitched pleading hit Taela like a slap across the face and all at once she realized she had lost control. Awash in guilt, she pulled Lilly into her embrace again and did her best to speak soothingly into her ear.
"Oh honey, I'm so sorry" she moaned "You made me very scared when you talked about giving the key back. I promise I won't ever touch you like that again..."
"mmmkay" Lilly sobbed into her shoulder.
"...but you have to understand dear. We can't let Lillith out ever. She does very bad things in the real world. She means to hurt a lot of people and it's my job to stop her."
"But if she stay's here she'll catch us one day! She has the mean clown and he'll catch us and then she'll take you away from me!"
"We can beat them if you help me"
Lilly pushed away from Taela and stuck her bottom lip out defiantly.
"I don't want to" she said as she stomped one foot onto the ground "She's stronger than you"
Taela held out one hand for Lilly but the girl took a step back and shook her head defiantly.
"Lilly please" she pleaded "You have to trust me. If today has taught me anything, it's that there's always a way. I think maybe I can stop her from hurting anyone else but I'm going to need your help. I'm going to need to you be brave for just a little while longer"
For a second it looked like she might have persuaded her petulant host. Lilly took a step back towards her but suddenly stopped and looked wide eyed at the door behind them.
"It's too late" she whispered hoarsely "They're here"
Behind her came two soft knocks followed by Lillith's familiar poison tipped voice.
"Lilly...Doll" she pronounced angrily "Who are you talking to? You should know I am very disappointed in you. Come out here right now and give me my key!"
The little girl in the pink dress stood shaking and wide eyed. Her eyes darted back and forth between Taela and the door, her face pleading, silently begging the grown up in front of her to tell her what to do.
"We need to get out of here" Taela whispered urgently "Where's the tunnel?"
Lilly blinked as if waking from a dream and turned to point towards the trunk.
"Get in" she silently mouthed.
Behind them came a wet grunt followed by an ear splitting thump as something meaty and wet slammed hard against the door.
Taela looked at the chest full of dirty rags and back at the little girl, torn between her distrust of Lilly's intentions and her fear driven urge to hide.
"Get in!"
Another thump sounded against the door followed by a loud crack as the frame began to give way under Tumor's weight.
Lilly let out a frightened squeal and dove into the chest face first. For a split second she lay atop the rags in a dirty pink ball before suddenly and completely disappearing.
Taela hesitated for a moment as what she had seen registered in her mind.
Behind her came another thump and the door gave in with a crash as she dived for the chest.
The chest seemed to float towards her as if she were crossing the small space in slow motion. For a moment it seemed like she might stop dead in the air and drop uselessly to the ground but finally her face came into contact with the chests ragged contents and her nose filled with the musty smell of decaying cloth.
She braced herself for whatever form her own disappearing act might take, but then filled with despair as she realized something had stopped her from fully entering the large wooden box.
All at once she realized something had her firmly by the ankle, something hot and slimy.
With a growl she arched her head around only to find herself firmly in the pulsing grip of Tumor the Clown.
"Well" she heard Lillith croon "You should know better than to play with someone else's things. Look. I've brought you your demon to play with instead"
Lillith grabbed both sides of the box as best she could and craned her head around to get a clear look at the monster behind her.
"What demon?" she spat vehemently "All I see is a clown"
Taela kicked out hard with her free leg and felt it come into wet contact with the squishy mass of Tumors face.
The clown let out a low gurgle and reached out with its other hand to take hold of her free ankle but she lashed out with everything in her and connected with its face twice more.
Tumor grunted, stumbled back and relaxed its grip on her just enough for her to slide her foot out of its slick grip and pull herself fully into the chest.
Behind her she heard Lillith yell "No!" and then, just like that, she found herself sitting on a dank cement floor in an utterly black room.
Taela drew in a breath to call for Lilly but stopped as a tiny hand closed over her mouth and an equally small voice spoke into her ear.
"Quiet or they'll hear us"
She turned her head to Lilly's face - barely visible in the gloom of the room - raised her eyebrows enquiringly and silently mouthed the word "Who?"
Lilly pointed to a large murky crowd of aimlessly shuffling figures at the far end of the basement.
"Them" she whispered "The dead people"
User Reviews
Submitted by Spam (user info) at 2009-06-04 11:11:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by zakalwe (user info) at 2005-06-16 19:30:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
An intriguing development.
Submitted by Revolutionman (user info) at 2005-05-06 20:44:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Charred (user info) at 2005-03-31 16:47:23 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Seriously?
Find a publisher.
Submitted by Malificent (user info) at 2005-03-28 04:07:52 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Benny (user info) at 2005-01-09 22:10:21 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Just as cool as usual. as much as I want to know what happens in the end I'll be sad when I can no longer get my Necrosiac fix.
Submitted by Circe (user info) at 2005-01-09 08:03:50 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Snark (user info) at 2005-01-06 17:26:09 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Thanks Smurfs,
There are many things in this series that are rough. Although I will acknowledge I have noticed discrepancies with the tone, alot of it is intentional.
My intention with this series, from the start, has been to keep the reader off balance. It's a fine line to walk and I can see how it can get confusing, especially with the stories coming so peacemeal.
Thanks to your review I will be paying extra attention to it.
Submitted by Smurfs (user info) at 2005-01-06 17:05:57 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
This is a decent series, and I have been following...
My suggestion though is to work on your tone... you're tone jumps all around. If you want to keep the language simple... the description doesn't have to follow... the little girl isn't telling the sotry half the time... and the shifting narration is confusing.
Submitted by LadyPlural (user info) at 2005-01-06 16:57:50 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Can I come to the Necropalooza? I promise not to piss on the floors.
Submitted by Xena (user info) at 2005-01-06 16:47:55 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Well, Snark...let's see you put out, then I'll put out. Fair's fair!
Submitted by Snark (user info) at 2005-01-06 16:45:04 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Xena,
Beer and boobies should do it.
Bring me two of each every 15 minutes until I pass out, then bring them every 5.
Submitted by Falconer (user info) at 2005-01-06 16:33:09 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
WOO
Submitted by Xena (user info) at 2005-01-06 16:17:13 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
What do you need to keep to your Necropalooza promise, name it and it's yours!!!
this was fan-fucking-tastic!
Submitted by engine13 (user info) at 2005-01-06 13:39:10 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Yay! Now I can get back to working minimally and reading Necro a lot.
Submitted by Rocktsrgn (user info) at 2005-01-06 12:38:29 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Necropalooza?!?! <squeals with excitement>
Submitted by AshK (user info) at 2005-01-06 12:10:33 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Wiggle.
I feel happy...oh so happy!
I'd better run out and get some Necropalooza supplies....
Whiskey...check
cheetos...check
clothespins...check
jell-o shots...check
whip cream...check
door knob...check
party hats...check
brownies...check
no..THOSE brownies...oh...check
baby oil...check
leather belt...check
cat food...check
I'm ready!
Submitted by munkeypants (user info) at 2005-01-06 11:31:59 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
AWESOME!
Submitted by Kre8rix (user info) at 2005-01-06 11:27:03 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Ok I read it.
I stand by my original assessment.
Submitted by wookie (user info) at 2005-01-06 11:26:17 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Yes, yes, yes!
Submitted by Kre8rix (user info) at 2005-01-06 11:21:48 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Necrosiac WOOO!!
Now to go back and read it.
Submitted by DifferentTrains (user info) at 2005-01-06 11:21:33 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Too long. Didn't read it. +2 FO YOOO!!
Submitted by Snark (user info) at 2005-01-06 11:18:24 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Necropalooza for the next while.
I want to get this finished on Uber.