Re: Non Delivery of my personal mail (672 hits)
Category: Business & FinancialRating: 1.25 on 9 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Hairy Coo <hairy_coo1.at.hotmail.com> (View user info) at 2005-01-06 12:39:08 EST
Dear Sirs,
Thank you for your kind note regarding the non-delivery of my personal mail. I understand that Royal Mail is a costly service, especially with the recent increase in the cost of a first class stamp to an extortionate sum of thirty pence. I am also aware of that we need to make cutbacks these days due to the dismal six hundred million pounds profit that ****** earned last quarter being a whole 2% down from last year. I understand that the shareholders may be getting hungry and homeless and that would be unjust to 'steal' their 30p that they would use for far more useful purposes.
I would like to inform you however, that the overall cost of your 'non-delivery process' far exceeds the cost of simply delivering my letter.
- Cost of returning the mail, finding my desk and writing your kind letter - est £10
- Cost of my working time to you for replying to your kind letter - £20
- Cost of me walking to the post office and back and waiting for 30 mins to buy a postage stamp - £50
So there we go, that's £80.00 compared to 30p - I think you may need to streamline your processes somewhat if you wish to continue such cost cutting in an effective manner.
I would like also like to inform you that if this 'non-delivery process' is applied to my personal mail again, the costs will be greatly increased next time due to the following actions
- Cost of working time to type the next reply letter with my forehead, including the head pressing of backspace when a mistake is made - £300
- Cost of working time to walking to the post office via 6 pints at the pub and 200 hands at the casino - £300
Regards,
hairycoo
User Reviews
Submitted by The_Great_Tom (user info) at 2005-02-09 20:16:40 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment
Submitted by Merlina (user info) at 2005-01-07 04:00:55 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
hee hee so true
Submitted by fluff (user info) at 2005-01-06 14:40:29 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
hahahahaha
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2005-01-06 14:04:57 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
pah!
that's nothing.
a company once tried to charge me for the time I had spent on the interweb.
I politely told them to go fuck themselves.
Submitted by Jeanneee (user info) at 2005-01-06 13:25:38 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I declare jihad on the Post Office (or the Royal Mail as you tea-swilling Limeys call it).
Submitted by CookieLass (user info) at 2005-01-06 13:16:58 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
D'oh! English! Who needs that? I'm never going to England. Come on,
let's smoke.
-- Homer Simpson, talking Barney into cutting class
The Way We Was
Submitted by Stin (user info) at 2005-01-06 13:08:11 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I understand. Oh boy, do I understand.
Submitted by hairycoo (user info) at 2005-01-06 13:01:19 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
not demographically suited I suspect
Submitted by MyNameIsTim (user info) at 2005-01-06 12:43:03 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
meh ?