Advertising (1146 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 1.83 on 6 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Philst82 <Philipdstubbs.at.hotmail.com> (View user info) at 2005-01-06 19:00:47 EST
"By the way if anyone here is in advertising or marketing... kill yourself. No, no, no it's just a little thought. I'm just trying to plant seeds. Maybe one day, they'll take root - I don't know. You try, you do what you can. Kill yourself. Seriously though, if you are, do. Aaah, no really, there's no rationalisation for what you do and you are Satan's little helpers, Okay - kill yourself - seriously. You are the ruiner of all things good, seriously. No this is not a joke, you're going, "there's going to be a joke coming," there's no fucking joke coming. You are Satan's spawn filling the world with bile and garbage. You are fucked and you are fucking us. Kill yourself. It's the only way to save your fucking soul, kill yourself."
- Bill Hicks
Never a truer word has been spoken. Adverts are the bane of all existence, simultaneously providing all the funding for the entertainment you seek and ruining said activity by interrupting it. In some places you have to endure 5 minutes of commercial, just to get to what you came for, and even then you only get 5 minutes of that before you a taken back to the adverts.
But I digress. You see, if the world were filled with beer commercials and cool car commercials (not necessarily for cool cars, the dancing Citroen C4 and Honda's "Cog" spring to mind here) everything would be ok. You might even want to watch the adverts. There are mediocre adverts that neither impress nor offend. However there are other adverts which are downright offensive.
Now there are many infuriating commercials, but there is one in particular I want to concentrate on. In fact it fits into a category of product that I think advertising for is unnecessary, but in this case this is beside the point. If anyone is interested it can be found here:
http://www.visit4info.com/details.cfm?adid=19269
Yes it's a feminine hygiene advert. The basic gist of it is there is a moth in the ladies outhouse, flying around and scaring the girls who wish to use the toilet. However, because you use tampax, this makes you an empowered woman and no moth is going to stop you from using your tampon. Confidently you ignore the bastard man going into the neighbouring men's outhouse, who had the bare faced cheek to laugh at the previous occupant of the ladies running from a tiny creature which only wants to be near the light. Using your immense brain you turn off the light in the ladies, causing the terrifying monster to go for the men's light, where it will surely scare him into realising the error of his ways. And just as it does you can emerge from the toilet just in time to see him running from the moth just like the girls have. Tampax Compak - so easy you can do it blindfolded.
Where to begin with what's wrong here...
1. Most men would never run from a moth buzzing around a light bulb. I would say the majority that didn't just ignore it, and let it go about its business of gaining it sweet loving from the electric light, would have simply killed the thing for being annoying. And then eaten its children.
2. Blindfolded? I can't say I've ever had to use a tampon, but I'm fairly sure that if called upon to stick something up my arse, I could do it without the aid of light or even being able to see. Is this supposed to suggest that lesser tampon brands are more difficult to stuff up there, perhaps requiring a fully qualified archaeology team? Surely trying to sell the product based on the fact that you can use without vision is like trying to sell fish fingers based on the fact that you don't have to be able to hear to enjoy them? Clearly it is an unnecessary sense for use of this item.
3. Where does the advertising industry get off making men look like a) idiots who need a woman's guidance, or b) bastards that need a woman to give them their comeuppance? Think about the uproar if it were the other way around; the femnazis would be burning their bras faster than you could say "the dykes are back", (and the guy with the "Iron my shirt, bitch" sign would be making a triumphant return). So men are allowed to be shown as bumbling buffoons, but women as ditzy fools? Nope that would be sexual discrimination.
4. Since when do women take the same amount of time in the toilet as men? In any normal situation that man would have been long gone before the moth had even realised that the light in the women's had gone off. By the time the girl emerged the guy in question would be back at whatever he was doing previously, probably drinking beer and continuing to laugh with his mates about the moth, and how funny it was to watch girl after girl run from it.
5. What was this guy even doing at the toilet in the first place? Surely at this outdoor shindig, he should be pissing up against at tree, not standing in line for a toilet. If he did need to dump a load, he went in there undid his trousers sat on the toilet and did his thing, and comes running out of the toilet with his trousers back on when he realises the moth has come. So we're to assume the in the short space of time between the moth arriving at the men's he was scared enough by the thing to finish what he was doing, wipe his arse and replace his trousers (risking a nasty skid mark), before running away in fear? Surely in a more realistic scenario he would be running out with his trousers round his ankles?
6. Maybe it wasn't the moth that scared him, but the sound of what the girl was doing in the neighbouring toilet, once he had finished his job, that made him run as fast as possible? So she can do it blindfolded but not silently? Somehow I think Tampax - the tampon that proudly announces itself, may not sell quite well.
I think its fairly safe to say that this advert is well beyond the realms of reality, not to mention downright offensive to men. If this were the only one maybe it would be ok. But it isn't. There are loads of them. The Lacoste advert with the naked man trying to sell a men's fragrance? How many straight men are going to buy something from an advert with a naked man dancing around?
Too long have we suffered with awful adverts. It must end, vote on the site where I linked the advert, and make sure people know how awful it is!
On a slightly related note, this was turned up on a Google search for "Tampax".
User Reviews
Submitted by Douglas (user info) at 2005-05-06 15:26:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Balls.
I'd come here to -2 you but I just can't bring myself to do it.
Submitted by William_Q_Percy (user info) at 2005-03-30 11:30:01 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
solid.
Submitted by TheSpook (user info) at 2005-03-30 11:19:58 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Jeanneee (user info) at 2005-01-07 09:24:56 (#)
Ranking: 2
+2 for Bill Hicks.
I could write a thesis about how much I hate advertising.
Submitted by Jeanneee (user info) at 2005-01-07 09:24:56 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
+2 for Bill Hicks.
I could write a thesis about how much I hate advertising.
Submitted by Feijuada (user info) at 2005-01-06 20:38:40 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I loved it. Not the commercial, the post.
Submitted by Stin (user info) at 2005-01-06 19:23:36 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
If you're shoving Tampax up your arse, you've hit the wrong hole.
Just an observation.