do you HATE people who stink as much as me? (818 hits)
Category: Quotes & StoriesRating: 0.93 on 14 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by DyingBreed (View user info) at 2005-01-07 16:52:50 EST
I had the undeserved privilege of working at a convenient store for about two and a half years. You saw a lot of the public that way. That was the good side and bad all wrapped up in a burrito and shoved down your throat like a slobbering retard. I learned many universal truths while at this spiritual school of higher learning. One of which was that over 65% of the general public are nothing more than half-wits. Needless to say, I enjoyed myself quite thoroughly.
I have always believed that you can categorize society into two halves, and keep splitting examples until you have an infallible theory describing how humanity must be the lower class of animal and needs to be eaten by those higher up on the totem pole(like say, rabbits or something)
Let's start with the clean people, and the dirty people. By clean I mean people who take a bath at least once if not twice in a 24 hour period.....and by dirty I mean people whose stupid facial expressions wouldn't change in the slightest if you mentioned a bathtub, soap, and water. I have to say at least 5 or 6 of the 300 people I had to deal with on a daily basis had a problem washing anything on their sweaty stinky bodies, let alone the parts that tend to give off a repulsing odor.
One guy in particular would come in everyday, buy the same things, walk down the same isle in the same manner to get those things with the same ignorant expression in the same clothes he had worn everyday that week and the week before. His odor was that of underwear worn 4 days in a row in hot July weather x 10. It wasn't a merely unpleasant or even sick smell....It was an all-encompassing rancid smell that caused you to hold your breath if he got within 5 feet of you. I'm not exaggerating; it would make you light-headed and nauseous even breathing through your mouth!
Of course, I didn't speak much while ringing him up. If I did, it was only short placating bursts of feedback that used only what air I had prepared in my lungs when I saw the guy approaching. After he would leave, I would wait until he rounded the corner, and spray strawberry-scented air freshener (no matter who saw me do it) and catch by breath. And after each daily episode, one question would surface in my brain and echo off the walls of my skull, haunting me with its paradoxical essence....."How the hell can he not smell that?"
It was always the same with each individual. They would wear a white T-shirt stained yellow from sweat and have an actually visible film over their entire bodies that looked like dry skin, flaky and peeling, sprayed with clear-coat. I suppose it is somewhat narrow-minded of me to assume these people are merely products of stench without personalities and gifts to society, but it is kind of hard to look past the fact that these qualities cannot be explored because you have to be within at least ten feet to explore them in the first place! Maybe these people are in fact the superior human; not needing cleanliness to communicate. Maybe they have the social skills to ignore, or possibly not even notice odor in connection with a persons potential to be a friend.
.....Or maybe they need a bath.
User Reviews
Submitted by munkeypants (user info) at 2005-01-09 15:57:44 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by DamianD (user info) at 2005-01-07 16:58:45 (#)
Ranking: -1
alot of peolple have no choice about their bathing habbits, i can honestly say i currently stink as i have no clean clothes no washing machine and no hot water due to a parental eviction. Judge a person for who they are not how much they stink!!
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you post is true. this is also a good point.
Submitted by DyingBreed (user info) at 2005-01-07 23:24:00 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
ah, ok. i gotcha now
Submitted by DamianD (user info) at 2005-01-07 20:47:53 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
FIRST POST
http://www.ubersite.com/m/55938
Submitted by DyingBreed (user info) at 2005-01-07 20:10:40 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
first post on this thread, or first post ever Damian?
if its the first post on this thread, you give no context clues as to why you got kicked out that I see anyway. maybe someone can help me solve the riddle.
Submitted by electrictoothsyndrome (user info) at 2005-01-07 18:09:10 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I don't think it's from a movie....
I just made it up, I think....
Guess it could be subconscious....
Submitted by DamianD (user info) at 2005-01-07 17:53:33 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
read my first post and you may find an answer
Submitted by DyingBreed (user info) at 2005-01-07 17:35:02 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
lol, what movie is that from ETS?
Submitted by electrictoothsyndrome (user info) at 2005-01-07 17:31:52 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
He's not dead...he just needs a bath.
Submitted by DyingBreed (user info) at 2005-01-07 17:20:38 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
bossk is correct
and why did you get evicted from your parents Damian? is it something you did?
Submitted by bossk (user info) at 2005-01-07 17:19:21 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
I spent a week camping in northern minnesota and still managed a couple of showers at the Y. C'mon people, we're living in a society here.
Submitted by DyingBreed (user info) at 2005-01-07 17:14:37 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
"spend 50 bucks on smokes and junk food, but somehow couldn't afford 2 buck to wash clothes at a laundry mat."
EXACTLY. every one of those stinky bitches and bastards would spend a ton of money on lotto tickets, cigs, junkfood, and beer. seems like they have plenty of money to me. a bar of soap is a fraction of the cost.
Submitted by Pharathyse (user info) at 2005-01-07 17:09:41 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I've seen this before you posted in on uber and I still laugh everytime I read it. Since I've worked at a couple of different fast food places in my time I know exactly what you are talking about. It never failed to amaze me that people could afford to walk into places like convience store and spend 50 bucks on smokes and junk food, but somehow couldn't afford 2 buck to wash clothes at a laundry mat. Then again I can't understand how someone with no way to keep up with their personal hygene can somehow find time to get to a computer to post on a website either.
Submitted by DyingBreed (user info) at 2005-01-07 17:06:42 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
problem is, i knew that at least 3 of the people who came in stinking like a motherfucker had access to soap and water and clean clothes, but were too lazy to use them. one of them was a distant cousin who could play guitar like malmstein, but couldnt bathe for some reason
Submitted by DamianD (user info) at 2005-01-07 16:58:45 EST (#)
Ranking: -1
alot of peolple have no choice about their bathing habbits, i can honestly say i currently stink as i have no clean clothes no washing machine and no hot water due to a parental eviction. Judge a person for who they are not how much they stink!!