My bad date (1419 hits)
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Rating: 1.97 on 39 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Corn Nugget (View user info) at 2005-01-09 10:13:15 EST
I met a guy who builds rollercoasters. He also builds helicopters, re-designs cars, and other things of varrious engineering brilliance. Besides being extrodinarily intellegent, he was also funny, charming, interesting and courteous.
The day of our first date I realized I was 50 dollars overdrawn on my bank account. I had no gas, no smokes, and no money for either. I called him and told him, "I'm sorry, I really can't go out tonight- I've been too irresponsible, and I'm in the hole. I can't even afford the gas to get out to your place."
He offered to loan me some money. I said no, he offered again, I said no, he offered again, etc etc etc... So I found myself buckling under his generousity, and I accepted.
I dug up some of my laundry quarters, put two dollars in my gas tank, and as I was in line to pay for my gas, I noticed some brownies. I love brownies, I had two extra quarters, so I bought one.
When I got to his house (which he had designed and built himself), my stomach was churning from the chocolate overload. I couldn't imagine how I'd be able to fit dinner in without barfing.
We drove to his favorite resturant, and I ordered a salad and a water (normally I wouldn't do this, but I was worried anything with more substance would make me sick)and he ordered a steak, potatoes, and a beer.
Of course I finished my food first, and found myself stabbing at my lemon while waiting for him to finish. At this point I was so self consious about everything (my messy car, my faux-pas of eating salad on a first date, my lack of money, the fact that I was 15 minutes late, and my apparent inability to hold a good conversation).
After dinner he opened his wallet to pay, and asked how much money I needed to get me through until payday. I watched him sort through a few fifties and hundreds, and said, "I don't know- maybe ten?". He gave me a fifty, and told me I could mail it back when I could afford it.
Mail it back? At this point I was sure that I WAS being a pretty bad date. I felt the need to redeem myself. I put my conversational skills in overdrive, maintaining a witty and humorous attitude (or so I hoped it seemed). No longer did I care if I actually LIKED him, I was too obsessed at getting him to like ME.
When we got back to his house, he invited me in. The invitation was not genuine, he was just being polite, and I knew this, but I decided to take advantage of it, and use this time to further redeem myself.
"Sure, I'll come in for a second." I saw the disapointment wash over his face.
We settled down before the fireplace, and I went into impress-him-overdrive. I started talking about my travels (hoping to impress him by my worldly-ness), I gave him details about my friends (showing him how social and loved I was), I talked about my family (to make sure he knew I was a family oriented person). This went on and on. The more I talked, the more I could tell he wasn't listening. As this became more obvious, I became more determined to find something to tip the scales in my favor.
Mind you, the entire time I'm rambling on, I'm also drinking wine. Before I know it, the bottle is empty. I have some false sense of elation going on at this point. I have that nagging desire for more alcohol. I see another bottle on the kitchen counter, and wait for him to offer it up.
While I wait for the wine, I light a cigarette.
"Uh, I don't like smoking in the house..."
oh shit.
"Sorry... jeeze... sorry", I say, as I walk to the door leading out onto the deck. I fling my cigarette over the railing, into the grass. I watch the ember glowing as I hear him shuffle around behind me.
"So, do you want to crack open this other bottle?" I ask with a smile. Deep inside I know he wants me to go, but I can NOT seem to stop myself.
He runs his hands over his face, and says, "Well, I don't want you to be drinking and driving... so, I think it's better if we don't- don't you?".
Err... of course I think that. Sure. I'm such an ass. I hate myself.
"Oh yeah, okay, jeeze, what was I thinking?" My face flushes and my armpits start sweating. I have never felt so self-consious, insecure, and assinine in my life. I need to leave. I need to save the little bit of pride that has burrowed deep down in the area between my navel and ribcage.
But I don't leave. I simply stare out the window, waiting for my cigarette to burn itself down.
"Well", he says, "Thanks for coming out..."
"Oh, no no... thanks! I had a great time. You're really an amazing person. I think you're fantastic... I really admire you." SHUT UP!! FOR THE LOVE OF FUCKING GOD, CORINNE.
Leave. Leave leave leave the door is right there go. I sit down at the kitchen table and start into a new story about me, and how great I am.
Leave. Come on. Get up, put your shoes on, and go. Go go go go go.
I'm uncomfortable and embarrassed for myself.
He stopped me midway through my story, "So listen... I've got to get up early tomorrow... Thanks for coming out..."
"Oh, no problem! I haven't had such a good time in a long while... It's been great!" I hate myself. I don't move from the chair. I watch him wander over to the door, expecting me to follow. We lock eyes. I'm sitting in the chair, leaned back, legs crossed, arms folded in my lap. He stands at the door, one hand in his pocket, the other hand on the handle.
I can't leave without redeeming myself, but what can I say? Sorry that I am irresponsible and you had to loan me money? Sorry I wasted too much time putzing around before I came over, and I was late? Sorry I ate a brownie before dinner and didn't want anything at the resturant? Sorry I stabbed the lemon that floated in my ice water? Sorry I rambled on about myself the whole night? Sorry I lit a cigarette in your house? Sorry I drank a whole bottle of your wine? Sorry I ignored every clue you gave me? Sorry I stayed even after I knew you wanted me to leave?
"Alright" I say, as I stand up and put my coat on. "Give me a call tomorrow?"
User Reviews
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2005-01-10 21:15:32 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
That's one patient dude. =P
Submitted by WhatTheHell (user info) at 2005-01-10 09:58:09 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
THIS was a damn good story.. I cringed for you too.
Submitted by corn_nugget (user info) at 2005-01-09 21:13:40 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Ah, I've already found what I was looking for.
I had found him about ten years ago... we lived together for four years, broke up for six, and we are together now.
If it is meant to be, it will be.
Right?
Submitted by FuckTheArmy (user info) at 2005-01-09 20:33:13 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
There are plenty of interesting/wonderful people out there who get overlooked. Some men even like conversation.
Hope you find what you're looking for.
Submitted by Ed_0150 (user info) at 2005-01-09 20:13:14 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by munkeypants (user info) at 2005-01-09 19:03:08 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
go right ahead my dear.
Any stalker would be appreciated!
Submitted by corn_nugget (user info) at 2005-01-09 18:58:41 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Hey, I can stalk you, Munkey.
I DO know what kind of car you drive...!!
There can't be THAT many Wranglers in Boston!
Submitted by munkeypants (user info) at 2005-01-09 18:57:40 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I want a stalker!
Submitted by corn_nugget (user info) at 2005-01-09 18:51:13 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I got over this ordeal pretty quickly... The guy I went out with AFTER this fell into a semi-stalker mode.
Nothing brings up ones self esteem more than a stalker!
Submitted by DCWoody (user info) at 2005-01-09 18:47:17 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
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Submitted by MrWillard (user info) at 2005-01-09 17:36:14 (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by DonkeyOnTheEdge (user info) at 2005-01-09 17:03:02 (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by shandythedog (user info) at 2005-01-09 16:54:22 (#)
Ranking: 0
very well described
i like how it all seems to escalate and reaches new levels of shame.
but didn't it occur to you to offer to suck his cock?
___________________________________________________________________
He has a point.
==============================
He did give you $50.
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Submitted by MrWillard (user info) at 2005-01-09 17:36:14 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by DonkeyOnTheEdge (user info) at 2005-01-09 17:03:02 (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by shandythedog (user info) at 2005-01-09 16:54:22 (#)
Ranking: 0
very well described
i like how it all seems to escalate and reaches new levels of shame.
but didn't it occur to you to offer to suck his cock?
___________________________________________________________________
He has a point.
==============================
He did give you $50.
Submitted by Durae (user info) at 2005-01-09 17:16:16 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
heh, I hope putting that out here got it out of your head. If it makes you feel better, I could see that whole thing happening to me too. Oh god, it probably will happen to me.
Submitted by DonkeyOnTheEdge (user info) at 2005-01-09 17:03:02 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by shandythedog (user info) at 2005-01-09 16:54:22 (#)
Ranking: 0
very well described
i like how it all seems to escalate and reaches new levels of shame.
but didn't it occur to you to offer to suck his cock?
___________________________________________________________________
He has a point.
Submitted by thecaes (user info) at 2005-01-09 17:01:42 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Oh, you poor thing. Sorry you fell into a shame-spiral.
Nicely written.
Submitted by shandythedog (user info) at 2005-01-09 16:54:22 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
very well described
i like how it all seems to escalate and reaches new levels of shame.
but didn't it occur to you to offer to suck his cock?
Submitted by shitfuck (user info) at 2005-01-09 16:15:22 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
And if it was a date that prick should have paid for everything automatically.
Submitted by The_Great_Tom (user info) at 2005-01-09 15:32:53 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
You mean that a date with Corny could be bad?
Submitted by kai070169 (user info) at 2005-01-09 15:31:30 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Desperate women rule. If you're coming to Vegas, I'll show you a good time! Mail ME that $50! That arrogant prick doesn't deserve it!
Submitted by Demolocke (user info) at 2005-01-09 14:24:55 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Lyric (user info) at 2005-01-09 14:21:20 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
This is exactly why I don't date. I refuse to, actually. I'm so shitty at making small talk with people I don't know that unless I hit it off right away with someone (which is rare), then I will sit there in awkward silence.
"... so... How about that snowstorm we had yesterday, huh? That was crazy! Haha!... Yeah. ......
...
..."
Submitted by shitfuck (user info) at 2005-01-09 14:10:27 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I'd nail you no matter how broke and or sweaty you were.
Submitted by Rawrg (user info) at 2005-01-09 13:59:53 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Heheh, nice disaster.
Submitted by polyamorousaj (user info) at 2005-01-09 13:23:49 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
HAHAHAHAHAHAHA
I can honestly say I've never had a date go that bad.
Next time I have a bad one I'll just read this post.
Submitted by TheOneGhost (user info) at 2005-01-09 13:17:26 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
that sucks for you.
Submitted by Stin (user info) at 2005-01-09 13:04:35 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
What are you like, girl?!
Submitted by Ainkara (user info) at 2005-01-09 12:19:22 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Oh man... I don't want to date. Like, ever. I'm scared now.
Submitted by GodLovesALittleLovin (user info) at 2005-01-09 12:06:46 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
When will women realize that guys and "talking" don't hang out? Grunting, now that's a different story...
Submitted by creep_firebombing (user info) at 2005-01-09 12:04:41 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Circe (user info) at 2005-01-09 11:50:06 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Oh GOD that was cringeworthy.
Corinne, you're a fucking basketcase.
And oh, how I love you.
Submitted by mikethescottish (user info) at 2005-01-09 11:46:41 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Look on the bright side- free money!
Submitted by corn_nugget (user info) at 2005-01-09 11:39:14 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
to clarify- this was last year... I'm not sure why that matters, but it does.
(I'm so pitiful!)
Submitted by munkeypants (user info) at 2005-01-09 11:10:43 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
sounds like me.
always with a negative bank balance and always trying to be myself on a date.
i'm a mess.
well i think you're swell. it's his loss!
Submitted by Badlands (user info) at 2005-01-09 11:08:33 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Jeez...that was even painful to read.
I feel for you.
Submitted by VoRn (user info) at 2005-01-09 10:39:40 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Unlucky.
Submitted by Adona (user info) at 2005-01-09 10:25:23 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Poor girl.
Submitted by FilthyAssistant (user info) at 2005-01-09 10:23:22 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Heh. You're a mess. I respect that.
Submitted by ICO (user info) at 2005-01-09 10:19:17 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Hmm. not the best story I've read, but it made me smile. So here, have a +1.
Submitted by Wiggles (user info) at 2005-01-09 10:18:08 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Eh, he sounded a little pompous anyway.
Submitted by Squijee (user info) at 2005-01-09 10:18:02 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
It's one of the most uncomfortable feelings in the world, knowing you're digging a hole for yourself, and deciding the best way to get out is to dig some more. It never works. Watching someone else do it is just as painful...unless you're arguing with them...then it's very satisfying.