EPISODE 70: "The Meeting" (1212 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 1.74 on 30 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by The Chronicles of College Guy (View user info) at 2005-01-09 16:19:04 EST
*THE CHRONICLES OF COLLEGE-GUY*
EPISODE 70: "The Meeting"
January 9, 2005
"Do you have anything to say?" Doctor Joyce asks me.
"Yeah," I smirk. "I was wondering something. How the fuck to porcupines have sex?"
There is silence in the room. All three doctors—Joyce is mine from before I came to West Seattle, Amacson is the one I've been seeing while here, and this broad is like the head of some department or something—stare at me with contempt. The three of them sigh and look at each other like my parents used to when I got in trouble. 'What are we to do with this boy' they are all thinking. What saps.
"Mister Richardson," the lady says after clearing her throat. "I understand that treatment is very difficult for many patients. I understand that it is hard for them to break habits that they have from the outside. Nevertheless, your overdose on Thursday was absolutely unacceptable. You signed an agreement last week stating that you would not bring any narcotics into our facilities."
"So I lied," I laugh. "Fuckin' sue me. Can I smoke in here?"
"No!" Joyce yells. He's more upset than I've ever seen him. His purple head looks like an eggplant with glasses.
"Sam," Amacson begins.
"Yeah, Smiley."
"All of us are concerned for your well-being. You really could have died from those drugs you took."
"Are you fuckin' kiddin' me?" I snicker. "Dude, do you have any idea how much shit I've done in my life? I spent the week before Halloween thinkin' I was dead. My OD on Thursday was nothin'. Give me a break."
"Sam, you—" Amacson starts to say, but he is cut off by Joyce.
"Listen, Sam!" Doctor Joyce hollers. "The nurses searched your belongings and found the rest of your pills."
Fuck.
"You will not be doing any more drugs while you are here, except for the Lithium and anything else that is prescribed to you. Is that clear?"
I cannot believe that they actually took my drugs. Motherfucker! I needed them, and not just to trip. I needed them to get back to the Octopus. When I was there on Thursday, Johnny Cash told me that Emily wasn't really dead. The whole thing was staged, I think by my family members so that they could get me locked up in this place. But I fucking I need to talk with Johnny again! I have to get him to tell me where Emily is; I think Iraq, but I'm not sure.
"Yeah, doc," I sneer. "It's fuckin' crystal."
"I'm surprised you weren't at the nondenominational church service this morning," Amacson says.
"Why the fuck would I be there?" I say. "I don't fuckin' go to church."
"You told me last week that you were very religious," Amacson growls. "That's why you attacked the man in the dining hall last week, right."
Well, the oyster was out of its shell anyway, so why not just tell him?
"Nah," I say. "I was just trippin' then too."
"I thought so," Amacson says, looking down at his papers in disappointment.
"Well you won't be 'tripping' any more!" Joyce hollers. "For the next two weeks you will be getting complete treatment without the interference of any other psychoactive drugs."
"Got it," I say standing up. "Lesson learned. Thanks."
I walk out the door and start making my way back to my room. On the way, a hand grabs my left arm. As I feel the tug, I clench my right fist and prepare myself to kill whoever the fuck is grabbing me. Before I swing I realize that it is Doctor Amacson, so I stop myself.
"Sam," he says in a hushed voice. "Hold on a minute."
"What?" I bark.
"Don't be pissed off," he says. "We're all looking out for you. We all care about you, okay. You're only getting treatment here for twenty days and we have to do as much for you in that time as possible. Can you please try and cooperate with us during that time?'
"How many fucking times do I have to tell you?" I shout. "Yes! I'm with you, okay? I agree! Thumbs up! Yes. Okay?"
"Yeah," he nods solemnly. "Okay."
I make my way back to my room. Once the nurse does a check, I know that it'll be another fifteen minutes until she's back. While she's gone, I whack off thinking about fucking Britney Spears' little sister; her little asshole must be so tight. After the cum-gusher soaks my sheets, I try to read more of 'Crime and Punishment', but my mind is too flustered. I turn on the radio to unwind. After some George Harrison and Blue Oyster Cult, I start to feel a little more relaxed. When Floyd's "Comfortably Numb" comes on, I take a deep breath and try and let my tension fade away.
Even though the jackasses here seem to think that this is a healing environment, I have been pretty fucking tense since the moment I stepped into this place. The only relaxation I've had has been while jerking my meat, tripping on those mystery pills, or playing chess with a guy named, of all things, Chester. Chester is a pretty good player. He has beaten me twice as many times as I've beaten him, but I don't mind it because he's good company. He's a heavy-duty nerd, but he's also fairly intellectual and knows a lot about a lot of things, which is cool. Even though I might come off as a punk to some people, I really am a pretty well read person on the inside. I like to sometimes play chess and discuss Orwell. It makes for good times. The only thing that—
The radio begins to sing:
"Loving you
Isn't the right thing to do.
How can I ever change things
That I feel?"
As the words come across the air into my ears, an intense hits me electrophonic wave hits me. The hairs all over my body stand on end. My breath becomes heavy and I once again begin climaxing, but in a different way.
"If I could
Maybe I'd give you my world.
How can I,
When you won't take it from me?"
There is a pen on my desk. I could use it to stab someone in the eye. If I killed the janitor, I could get a key and break into the girl's section. I could rape some bitch.
"You can go your own way.
Go your own way.
You an call it
Another lonely day.
You can go your own way.
Go your own way."
I grab the pen and dart out of my room. I look around the hall for some janitor. Fucking spic-ass! I grab a dollar out of my pocket and put it into the giant red vending machine next to the nurses' station. I buy a Coke. I pull the cold red cylinder out from the bottom of the machine. I then pop it open and dump the sappy brown drink onto the floor.
"Whoops!" I yell as I'm spilling it. "Got an accident here. Call the janitor!"
Within a few moments the wetback comes to clean up the mess. As he begins to mop it up—lazy and all Mexican-like—I tighten my fingers around the pen in my pocket. Seconds before I make the deathblow, I realize that the fuckin' spic has left the keys on his little wheeling mop-dealy. So, with the slickness that only a sociopath could pull off, I grab the keys while pretending to sneeze.
"Bleh yoo," the janitor says.
"Thanks, Pedro," I smile, while walking.
I make my way over to the door that leads to the women's section. As I turn the key, I hear a voice behind me shouting, "Hey! What are you doing?" I type in the access code that must accompany the key—it's 68939. I memorized it while talking to a nurse a few days ago—and run through the main lobby. As I do, three or four orderlies chase me. I then here a 'Whoop! Whoop!' and realize that the bracelet that they stuck on my hand has set off some kind of alarm. I laugh, feeling like the main character in 'Medal of Honor' when the Nazis hit the alarm on you.
As I dart down the hallway, I can feels the footsteps of an army of orderlies behind me. I rush to the door that leads to the women's hall and make my way through. As I enter into the women's dining hall, I see tons of chicks around but none really great looking ones. When the door opens behind me, I realize that I can't be choosy.
With orderlies now rushing towards me from all sides, I jump on top of some chick sitting on a couch in front of a television. She's not all that bad looking—she's blond, in her twenties, and kind of reminds me of that new girl on SNL's 'Weekend Update'. I whip out my johnson and shove it in her face.
She screams wildly in a way that makes it clear she's insane. I start humping her face and rubbing my steel cock and balls over her pretty little cheeks. I massage my sack in her eyes.
"Come on, baby," I moan. "Give daddy some sugar."
Before I get anywhere near cumming, I am tacked and beaten. The orderlies drag me back to the mens' section, my dick still hanging out, and thow me into solitary.
An hour or so later, Doctor Joyce walks by the door of the padded room and stares at me through the window. Now THAT is the maddest I've ever seen him.
User Reviews
Submitted by Death_Metal_Dude (user info) at 2005-01-17 15:04:44 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
medal of honor rules
Submitted by Totally_useless (user info) at 2005-01-14 12:07:17 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Pixellated perfection.
This was great, as usual.
Submitted by dudaculb (user info) at 2005-01-10 21:31:25 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by CJ (user info) at 2005-01-10 16:01:18 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I am becoming hopelessly addicted to your insanity
Submitted by zakalwe (user info) at 2005-01-10 16:00:50 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
It's scary how strong the moments of clarity are when a new inspiration hits. Feel like an old hand to this series now, remember reading about the "death trip" when you first posted it.
Bizdorph is a dick. An intelligent dick, but a dick nonetheless. Plus I think he has some unresolved issues with his sexuality - have you seen his camwhore?
Submitted by Chronicles_of_College_Guy (user info) at 2005-01-10 15:49:30 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I need to take writing lessons from Bizdork so I can have a -0.14 rating like him.
Submitted by Bizdorph (user info) at 2005-01-10 15:31:11 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment
Submitted by Chronicles_of_College_Guy (user info) at 2005-01-10 13:52:13 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Sounds good, Jeanneee. Hit me up at sparky19852.at.yahoo.com
Submitted by Jeanneee (user info) at 2005-01-10 12:50:43 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
OK, we can have sex... but only if promise to leave the guns and bananas at home.
Submitted by Adamdidit2u (user info) at 2005-01-10 09:50:23 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Jeanneee (user info) at 2005-01-10 09:18:57 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Auron (user info) at 2005-01-10 04:42:48 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Fantabulous.
Submitted by sparkle_pink (user info) at 2005-01-10 04:26:40 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Needs more cowbell.
Submitted by Tigre (user info) at 2005-01-10 00:01:18 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
God, that's fucking great..
Submitted by jayjonze (user info) at 2005-01-09 21:22:18 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
College Guy,
I don't suppose that you could give us more stories from your past. They were much more entertaining. +2 because you rule...
Submitted by Chinaski (user info) at 2005-01-09 21:15:55 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Christ man, you're such a fucking good writer!
As The Who sing in the song "We're Not Gonna Take It" from the Isle of Wight live in '74,
"WE'RE NOT GONNA TAKE IT!" That doesn't have shit to do with anything except that this album is ungodly.
Funny:
________
Submitted by FuckTheArmy (user info) at 2005-01-09 20:46:40 (#)
Ranking: 1
Only +1 for poor grammar.
________
What a loser.
Submitted by FuckTheArmy (user info) at 2005-01-09 20:46:40 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Only +1 for poor grammar.
'As the words come across the air into my ears, an intense hits me electrophonic wave hits me.'
Good story, but not deserving of a perfect rating.
Submitted by Ed_0150 (user info) at 2005-01-09 19:53:26 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
That was Awesome.
Submitted by shandythedog (user info) at 2005-01-09 17:58:16 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
my homosexuality is no secret, mazimus cuntus, nor am i ashamed
Submitted by Sarah-Elizabeth (user info) at 2005-01-09 17:55:42 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Chronicles_of_College_Guy (user info) at 2005-01-09 17:28:38 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Mr. Willard, this is why: http://www.ubersite.com/m/54444
Submitted by MrWillard (user info) at 2005-01-09 17:21:02 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Why would a sociopath have a personal therapist?
Submitted by MaximusPadus (user info) at 2005-01-09 16:58:23 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Shandy. you are gay bro, read the dictionary or something.
Submitted by shandythedog (user info) at 2005-01-09 16:57:15 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
i'm relieved to hear you are separate humans
Submitted by Chronicles_of_College_Guy (user info) at 2005-01-09 16:45:42 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Kazzerax, is your name Kelly? Because if it isn't then I didn't get any email from you.
Submitted by Chronicles_of_College_Guy (user info) at 2005-01-09 16:44:44 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I'm not Maximus, but he is my friend. Maximus has only done kind things for me, so I have no problem with him.
Submitted by Kazzerax (user info) at 2005-01-09 16:41:34 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
good job man. But answer me on yahoo.
Submitted by shandythedog (user info) at 2005-01-09 16:39:45 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
as ever, sound material
college guy, surely to god you are not maximus cunface???
Submitted by MaximusPadus (user info) at 2005-01-09 16:28:10 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by MaximusPadus (user info) at 2005-01-09 16:28:00 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
hahahahaha dude this is fucking awesome. Fuck uber. this is the only reason for it.