Official Rules For Calling Shotgun (1442 hits)
Category: HumorRating: 1.36 on 26 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by <josh_nielsen54.at.yahoo.com> (View user info) at 2003-04-06 05:05:25 EDT
Official Rules for Calling Shotgun
The first thing that you need to know is that shotgun is a privilege not a right and can be taken away from you, but only by the driver of the car. The person who sits shotgun also has an important role in creating the proper atmosphere for riding.
Deciding who gets shotgun is not as easy as it seems, there are many circumstances when someone besides the person who called it gets it. Examine these articles carefully and completely before you begin to cite a rule, because something may overrule what you may think already deserves shotgun.
THE RULES
1. The driver must be on his way to the car and planning to leave in order for you to call shotgun. You need not be "outside".
2. You have the right to shotgun in your relatives car.
3. Any one over 12 who is more than 2 years older than another person who is younger that 12, receives shotgun. This avoids embarrasing a teenager for example who is seen in the back seat when his 5 year old sister is in shotgun.
4. The driver has the power to overrule any, and everything.
5. The driver must be present when shotgun is called.
6. Sex does not affect who gets shotgun.
7. If shotgun is called at the same time then it is a race to touch the door handle. However, it is always ultimately the driver's call.
8. Shotgun must be called for the next trip, and only as the driver is making his way to the car.
9. There is no limit to the number of shotguns a person can have.
10. The order in which you got in or out of the car does not matter.
11. Only the driver has more control of the radio than the person in shotgun.
12. Once you exit the car you lose shotgun, unless only shotgun exits the car. Even for quick trips.
13. You must say the word "shotgun" - absolutely no variations count.
14. Foreign nationals may not sit shotgun, unless appointed by driver.
15. Girlfriends/boyfriends (in straight couples) have automatic shotgun privelege.
16. If the driver should change after shotgun is called, all previous reservations on shotgun are gone
17. Driver may be called, but it is to the previous driver's discretion to award the driver position.
18. "not bitch" and "window" may be used interchangably.
19. Calls for shotgun and driver may be called online via AIM, IRC, etc.
THE RESPONSIBILITIES
1. Music: Shotgun is DJ, by selecting something good to listen to. "Good" music is determind by a voting - a driver's vote is worth 3 points, shotgun: 2 points, all other passengers: 1 point. The selection with the most points should be selected. In a tie situation, driver has final say.
2. Direcitons: Navigation is strictly the job of shotgun, do not sit shotgun if you do not feel like giving directions or looking at a map.
3. Atmosphere: Create the correct atmosphere by directing conversation and keeping the car alive. For example, do not talk about gay people, unless you are passing them on the street and yelling obscenities.
User Reviews
Submitted by InSaNeSna1L (user info) at 2003-11-19 00:23:52 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Unfortunately my ex gfs best friend always got the front seat before me....
if i had my mates in the front my name would be MUD for a while
Submitted by Hairsphincter (user info) at 2003-11-19 00:22:25 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
How the hell did I miss this?
Gold.
Submitted by governorcommonsense (user info) at 2003-11-19 00:06:41 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
very cool
Submitted by Insanethemind (user info) at 2003-09-24 18:22:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
well done.
I am happy simply to get rides these days. :-(
Submitted by Arsenal (user info) at 2003-09-24 18:11:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Another +2 because it just reminded me of Dazed and Confused
Submitted by Arsenal (user info) at 2003-09-24 18:09:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I am printing this for my friends
Pisses me off though cause I've always heard that u have to be outside till a couple of my friends decided otherwise.
Submitted by tuesdaydelay (user info) at 2003-09-24 17:54:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Didn't have time to read all, I'm 37 seconds from death, but number 3 amused.
Submitted by queenbitch (user info) at 2003-09-24 17:40:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
i love these rules. they're taped to the passneger seat's visor in my car
Submitted by Loren1 (user info) at 2003-04-07 14:57:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
I agree for the most part. But, I think in most cases "driver" should be replaced with "owner" - because I don't care if I am drooling all over myself in the back and had two friends up front, if it's my car, and I say "Shut up and get out, or change the fucking station please, or don't smoke in my freaking car, damnit..." That's the end of that.
I rule supreme when I own the wheels. God, it's been a long time since I yelled shotgun. *sniff*
Loren
Submitted by Razor (user info) at 2003-04-07 14:38:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Hendrix...
the larger question here is not "How could you get Amanda Peete to hang out with you?" but WHAT THE FUCK WOULD YOU BE DOING HANGING AROUND WITH CARROT TOP ANYWAY? I MEAN FUCK IF I SAW CARROT TOP WITH A FLAT TIRE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD IT WOULD BE A SMALL SACRAFICE TO DESTROY MY CAR, MY FAMILY MEMBERS, AND MYSELF TO GET RID OF THAT FUCKER BY SLAMMING INTO HIM AND PINNING HIM TO HIS CAR, PREFERABLY AT 100+ MPH.
Submitted by hendrixjrr (user info) at 2003-04-07 14:32:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
You're right about tall people. Usually, the driver has enough common sense to step in here and evoke Rule 4.
Submitted by lodnem (user info) at 2003-04-07 14:27:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
people well over 6 feet tall ALWAYS get shotgun. we do not fold ourselves up like clowns and pack into the back seat. when short people call shotgun and i'm about to get in the car i laugh, point and help them into the back.
Submitted by hendrixjrr at 2003-04-06 22:15:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
....with a laser guide, but that's implied.
Submitted by Beer_bong (user info) at 2003-04-06 22:03:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
MMMMMMMMMMMM........ compound miter saw
Submitted by SantonioSpur (user info) at 2003-04-06 17:46:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Post the definite guide to banana and woody rules, or else I'll take back your +2
Submitted by Beetle at 2003-04-06 16:25:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
finally, now I can make the bitches I drive home stop complaining about who gets shotgun
Submitted by Titinita (user info) at 2003-04-06 14:54:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Oh, its an issue. It is an issue, all right.
Submitted by Joshua (user info) at 2003-04-06 14:43:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Shotgun = the front seat of a car
I'm not sure shotgun would be an issue if you were going to a hospital.
Oddz
While I respect your opinon (not really) and pity the way you were brought up (you really had to be in sight of the car?) i must reference blujnbbyqn.
"Many thanks for putting the word 'Official' in the title".
"You have no idea how many arguments this handy post will prevent".
hendrixjrr
Ha! I couldn't agree more. Rule number 4 is wonderfully versatile.
Submitted by Titinita (user info) at 2003-04-06 14:05:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
It's the front seat? I CALL SHOTGUN!!!
New rule: If your destination is a hospital, the one getting the therepy gets shotgun.
Submitted by oddzandendz (user info) at 2003-04-06 13:58:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I was brought up under the strict rule that shotgun can only be called when the car is in sight ie-outside
Submitted by Titinita (user info) at 2003-04-06 13:30:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Uh....what's shotgun? Do I get a shotgun?
Submitted by hidden101 (user info) at 2003-04-06 12:41:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
what hendrix said- i love it! great post, Josh. i have some friends that need some clarification in this area, so i'm going to print this out and post it up somewhere so people know what's up.
Submitted by hendrixjrr at 2003-04-06 12:37:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I love it! I think the opposite sex of the driver should get automatic shotgun.
Example: I'm at Home Depot picking up a new compound miter saw with Carrot Top and Amanda Peete and we're heading to my Jaguar. Even though Amanda Peete is not my girlfriend, I would only hope that Carrot Top is smart enough to get his hairy red ass in the back of the car before I ruin his shit!
Submitted by HeavensWalls (user info) at 2003-04-06 12:16:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
MWAHAHAHAHA
Submitted by dasteve (user info) at 2003-04-06 05:44:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Mahalo!
I printed and posted it.
Submitted by blujnbbyqn (user info) at 2003-04-06 05:32:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Many thanks for putting the word 'Official' in the title.
You have no idea how many arguments this handy post will prevent.
Up until now I had been using the "fight to the death" method with my kids. Early on, this method was often a source of entertainment and even a friendly wager or two for onlookers. Unfortunately it also frequently led to delays in departure and unsightly appearence at our destination. Stocking my Jeep with band-aids, gauze, tourniquets and other emergency gear was getting more and more costly as they grew up.
Now that we have firmly established rules, future family excursions may be bloodless. I can only hope.
Thanks Again!
Michelle