The Time I Didn't Meet 1Point21Gigawatts (916 hits)
Category: HumorRating: 1.88 on 18 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Lechuga (View user info) at 2005-01-10 19:38:26 EST
I haven't had a haircut in about 2 1/2 months, and after wearing a hat no longer covered it up, I decided it was time to get a haircut.
I've been going to my barber for about 7 years now. An avid Red Sox fan, we talk baseball all the time. Normally there's a long wait, and today was no exception. I picked up a magazine and started reading. After flipping through some boring articles, I decided that I needed a new one. I got up and grabbed an issue of "Popular Mechanics," and then sat back down.
I didn't realize it at first, but the guy next to me looked really familiar. Almost as if I've seen him before. He had on khaki pants, a white shirt and a tie, and looked exactly like Uber's own 1.21 Gigawatts. When the realization clicked, I decided I had to strike up a conversation with him. Being a fellow Uberer, I would guess he would be friendly.
But, as I went over it in my mind, I couldn't really determine if it was him or not. He looked the part, and from reading some of his posts, I knew he's been around the Framingham/Southborough area before. So, I decided to ask him in the only way I knew that would immediately connect me with Ubersite.
Justin: Uh, excuse me, but, do you know anything about "Slack Jumping?"
Person Who Looks Like Doug: What the hell's slack jumping?
Justin: Oh, um, well, you look like someone I know, but I've never met him, and I uh, you know, wanted to know if you were him or not.
Not Doug: What?
Justin: I go to this website, and it's this place where you write stuff and post it, and people read it, and uh, um, you look like someone on it. You're name's not Doug, is it?
Not Doug: No. It's Steve.
Justin: Oh. Well, um, have you ever been to the website?
Steve: No. I have to get my hair cut, kid. Later.
Justin: Well, do you know anyone named Doug who's an Engineer?
Steve: Nope. Can't say that I do.
Damn it. I felt like such an idiot, especially after getting a ton of stares from other long-haired patrons of the barber shop. I picked my magazine back up and continued reading about how fuel cells will revolutionize the pet shop industry.
After I got my haircut, and had some interesting conversations with my barber, I went home and checked to see if "Steve" was lying to me. Sure enough, Steve and Doug are different people. I still feel like an idiot, and some guy thinks I'm a psycho.
Damn you, Uber. You have your claws dug deep into my life. Hopefully I won't start seeing Bart working at McDonalds.
User Reviews
Submitted by mrwolf (user info) at 2005-04-29 09:02:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Ubersite has had some terrible efects on my social life. I'm doing my best not to call shenanigans on people in real life. I told my girlfriend she'd been pwned a month or two ago, she looked at me like I'd tried to feed a hedgehog into her anus.
Submitted by 1Point21Gigawatts (user info) at 2005-01-21 13:34:10 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
That was actually me, and I was fucking with you. I was in town on business, and I was scared that if I revealed my identity, it would somehow bring me to celebrity status.
Submitted by munkeypants (user info) at 2005-01-11 15:22:44 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Ainkara (user info) at 2005-01-11 01:30:39 (#)
Ranking: 2
Heh...
I have dreams about Uber people, does that count?
Submitted by jgreening (user info) at 2005-01-11 10:53:59 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Ainkara (user info) at 2005-01-11 01:30:39 (#)
Ranking: 2
Heh...
I have dreams about Uber people, does that count?
-----------------------------
Maybe.
If you dreamed of them with flaming swords, riding a Harley and chanting that monk chant from Monty Python and the Holy Grail, then yes.
Not that I've ever dreamed of CookieLass or Donkey that way.
Ever.
Really.
Submitted by BLITZKREIG_BOB (user info) at 2005-01-11 10:40:11 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
This reminds me of the time that I didn't go bowling with Sideburns.
Submitted by firefly (user info) at 2005-01-11 10:06:21 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by TigerLilly (user info) at 2005-01-11 09:53:22 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Oh man thats funny. I'll bet you felt like a L-O-S-E-R!!
Submitted by Ainkara (user info) at 2005-01-11 01:30:39 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Heh...
I have dreams about Uber people, does that count?
Submitted by Creepy_guy (user info) at 2005-01-10 23:45:58 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I was really drunk once and thought I saw someone from Uber. I think it was Razor. Turns out it was just a fencepost.
Submitted by Rawrg (user info) at 2005-01-10 23:27:59 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Heh, I've always wondered what it would be like to run into someone you only knew online.
Submitted by ThatOneGirl (user info) at 2005-01-10 22:13:03 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Submitted by MyNameIsTim (user info) at 2005-01-10 21:34:49 (#)
Ranking: 2
sweet
i'm going to get drunk with
--------------------------------
with whom? how cryptic...
Submitted by MyNameIsTim (user info) at 2005-01-10 21:34:49 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
sweet
i'm going to get drunk with
Submitted by Totally_useless (user info) at 2005-01-10 21:23:21 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Here's how you do it:
Any time I think I might be in the same hearing radius as a suspected Uberer, I find a way to work in a good old "-2, die". Try it. It's like some interweb geek secret handshake. This way, even if you're wrong, your mark doesn't know, and if they do, well then you've just found yourself the real 1.21GW
Submitted by creep_firebombing (user info) at 2005-01-10 20:01:48 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Justin: Well, do you know anyone named Doug who's an Engineer?
That's where you crossed the line into spaz.
PINPOINT
Submitted by professorfuckface (user info) at 2005-01-10 19:47:47 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Davros (user info) at 2005-01-10 19:44:43 (#)
Ranking: 2
PFF-People in glss houses shouldn't throw stones.
-Dave
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Dense piece of shit.
Submitted by AlkalineSolo (user info) at 2005-01-10 19:45:24 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
HOO-AH
I feel your pain of a similar situation.
"Excuse me, is your name Rosa?"
Submitted by Davros (user info) at 2005-01-10 19:44:43 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by professorfuckface (user info) at 2005-01-10 19:39:45 (#)
Ranking: 0
That is one ugly fuck
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PFF-People in glss houses shouldn't throw stones.
-Dave
Submitted by professorfuckface (user info) at 2005-01-10 19:39:45 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
That is one ugly fuck