Political Correctness and New Years Resolutions. (501 hits)
Category: NewsRating: 1 on 5 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Steve Dusome <sillywilleh.at.yahoo.ca> (View user info) at 2005-01-10 20:01:15 EST
The other day I walked into my local Tim Hortons. This was mentioned in my urinal post. Read and rate, by the way. So anyways, I walk in, and ready myself to order a delicious gingerbread man. Oh sweets of my childhood, how I adore thee.
I could my change. Seventy cents precisely. Shit I am broke. It should be enough. If they want more than that then I should punch those old women (And only old women work there) right in the ovaries.
I look up, and to my dismay, I see that the sign has now been changed to the more politically correct "Gingerbread figure". This means war. Those bastards have taken it too far. I put on my stone-hard death face and approach the counter, prepare to do battle with any of the countless elderly or smelly women that may approach me.
The worst one approaches me. Seriously, she probably has a degree in hagriculture.
"Hi, can I have a gingerbread MAN?"
"Pardon me?"
You fucking heard me bitch. Its a gingerbread MAN. Thats just the way I was raised.
"A GINGERBREAD -MAN-!"
"Sorry, we don't carry those anymore, only figures."
"Well, the figure doesn't have breasts or a skirt. Give me a god damned gingerbread man."
The elderly women who probably fought for womens rights personally look at me with a gaze that can only be described as inescapable shock and horror. It's not my fault I was gifted with a penis. And my awesome arms. These guns don't got no safeties *motion to feeble arms. Reminiscent of bird-legs*.
I says to lady, I says "JUST GIVE ME THE DAMNED GINGERBREAD MAN AND I WILL STOP MAKING A SCENE!"
She whispers "Fine, but get out of here."
So I did, and as I left I almost got hit by a car. Stupid Karma.
Also, in the past I have never kept any resolutions, so this year, I resolute that this is the year that I will not do anything out of the ordinary. BAM. Easy win.
User Reviews
Submitted by Socialist_Joe (user info) at 2005-01-11 09:41:11 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
damn political-corectedness
Submitted by comicbookguy (user info) at 2005-01-10 21:30:17 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
+2 for Tim Hortons
Submitted by AlkalineSolo (user info) at 2005-01-10 20:23:20 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Typically when linkwhoring, it is common courtesy not to drag down the posts average. Especially with a shitty post as demonstrated at teh other end of that link.
Submitted by keebler (user info) at 2005-01-10 20:18:36 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
http://www.ubersite.com/m/56387
look at it
Submitted by Feijuada (user info) at 2005-01-10 20:13:21 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Should have been longer.