Holy fudge on a monkey! READ THIS! (828 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 1.8 on 39 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Squijee <geoffrstone.at.hotmail.com> (View user info) at 2005-01-11 09:40:36 EST
I'm scared to order a pizza with 'the lot' because I'm scared I'm giving the chef license to use whatever they want. I could get a pizza topped with a pygmy and a chair. What are the boundaries of 'the lot'? I need guidelines.
I'm really into spanking in bed, but I also have epilepsy, so until I get my clapper light uninstalled in my room, my paddle will have to stay in its designated drawer.
Why do the brightness levels on television sets go as far as they do? Who is thinking, 'Yes, my viewing experience will be improved if all I can see is white'? I am really enjoying this episode of 'Invisible man drinks a glass of milk in the snow'.
I have never seen a jungle gym in a jungle or a gym. Why is it called a jungle gym? It's named after two locations it has no relation to. That is like calling a fire engine a 'Jupiter igloo'. Actually, it probably isn't.
When macaroni was invented, was it first used for food or children's art? I am guessing that the edible qualities of macaroni were only discovered after cows first invented cheese.
Greyhound racing is depressing for both greyhounds and rabbits. Greyhounds think 'Damn, I am not man enough to catch this rabbit' while other rabbits are going 'Shit, I wish I could afford a motorised apparatus for increased speed in dog chase situations.'
Those pages in books that say 'This page has been intentionally left blank' are weird. Not only, as everyone has pointed out, is the page no longer blank, but the use of the word intentionally is wholly unnecessary. I am yet to read a page that says 'This page has been accidentally left blank.' If I read a page saying 'This page has been intentionally infected with AIDS', I would think that was cruel.
Who named the fruit 'orange'? They should get fired for that uncreative shit. The guy who came up with 'zucchini' should be promoted to president, and should be given a sash.
If zebra crossings are for humans, does that mean human crossings are for buttered popcorn? That doesn't make any damn sense.
My brain is now dry. Here is a picture of a turtle.
User Reviews
Submitted by EbolaMay (user info) at 2005-03-15 08:13:47 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
See? You saved me. I am no longer miserable.
Thanks pal!
Submitted by Holz (user info) at 2005-03-01 11:13:33 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
+2 for the weird mental images.
Submitted by boneface (user info) at 2005-02-22 06:45:16 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
No Comment
Submitted by Danger_Ranger (user info) at 2005-02-22 06:36:55 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Where do I start?
Submitted by rad1101 (user info) at 2005-02-22 06:20:09 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Davros (user info) at 2005-01-12 07:41:22 (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by fishgenie (user info) at 2005-01-12 07:27:39 (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Brdn_Nkd (user info) at 2005-01-11 10:50:28 (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by theshrew (user info) at 2005-01-11 10:23:54 (#)
Ranking: 2
This page has been intentionally given a +2
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2005-01-12 07:53:28 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
amusing.
Submitted by Davros (user info) at 2005-01-12 07:41:22 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by fishgenie (user info) at 2005-01-12 07:27:39 (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Brdn_Nkd (user info) at 2005-01-11 10:50:28 (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by theshrew (user info) at 2005-01-11 10:23:54 (#)
Ranking: 2
This page has been intentionally given a +2
Submitted by Maddog (user info) at 2005-01-12 07:37:20 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Pygmy pizza. You gotta love it
Submitted by Squijee (user info) at 2005-01-12 07:29:43 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Yes, it is original and yes I will reproduce with comicbookguy. $10 to watch.
Submitted by fishgenie (user info) at 2005-01-12 07:27:39 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Brdn_Nkd (user info) at 2005-01-11 10:50:28 (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by theshrew (user info) at 2005-01-11 10:23:54 (#)
Ranking: 2
This page has been intentionally given a +2
Submitted by LadyPlural (user info) at 2005-01-11 23:13:36 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
If this is original, I demand that comicbookguy reproduce with you. If not, I still demand that, because it would just be funny.
Submitted by Beer_bong (user info) at 2005-01-11 18:30:57 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
You are the goofiest motherfucker alive.
PLUS 2!!!!!
Submitted by munkeypants (user info) at 2005-01-11 16:43:33 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I read it again and I am enthralled.
I think you should be Super King of All That Is Cool
Submitted by munkeypants (user info) at 2005-01-11 16:41:26 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
WHERE DO THEY SELL PYGMIES AS TOPPINGS? I MUST KNOW THIS!!
Submitted by maiorano84 (user info) at 2005-01-11 16:02:56 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Holy shit. The first +2 I've ever given with the words "READ THIS" in the title.
Submitted by pen_name (user info) at 2005-01-11 15:48:59 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
"Who named the fruit 'orange'? They should get fired for that uncreative shit. The guy who came up with 'zucchini' should be promoted to president, and should be given a sash."
it would be funny if zucchini meant green dildo in some other language. wouldn't that blow your mind!
Submitted by Yes (user info) at 2005-01-11 13:03:49 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by bossk (user info) at 2005-01-11 12:59:59 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
This post intentionally left blank
Submitted by Kamargo (user info) at 2005-01-11 12:54:05 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
This is your brain... this is your brain on drugs...
Any questions?
Submitted by Monarch (user info) at 2005-01-11 12:49:12 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Best random thought post I've seen in a little while.
This post intentionally rated plus two.
Submitted by rurumon (user info) at 2005-01-11 11:19:18 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
nice
Submitted by QueenAshlee (user info) at 2005-01-11 11:05:47 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I feel strangly compelled to rate this with a +2. I can't explain it, except that maybe it has something to do with the turtle.
Submitted by Brdn_Nkd (user info) at 2005-01-11 10:50:28 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by theshrew (user info) at 2005-01-11 10:23:54 (#)
Ranking: 2
This page has been intentionally given a +2
Submitted by Pharathyse (user info) at 2005-01-11 10:46:08 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
+2 for managing to make me giggle less than 15 minutes after I rolled out of bed still half asleep.
Submitted by Istaros (user info) at 2005-01-11 10:42:58 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
heh
Submitted by Dervel (user info) at 2005-01-11 10:40:18 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I'm really into spanking in bed, but I also have epilepsy, so until I get my clapper light uninstalled in my room, my paddle will have to stay in its designated drawer.
---
Mwahahahahahahahahaha
Submitted by theshrew (user info) at 2005-01-11 10:23:54 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
This page has been intentionally given a +2
Submitted by ACIDTRIP (user info) at 2005-01-11 10:22:34 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
nice turtle
Submitted by Soley_Trinity (user info) at 2005-01-11 10:12:30 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
thought, even.
Submitted by Soley_Trinity (user info) at 2005-01-11 10:09:20 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
When macaroni was invented, was it first used for food or children's art? I am guessing that the edible qualities of macaroni were only discovered after cows first invented cheese
food for though... or maybe not.
Submitted by Stin (user info) at 2005-01-11 10:06:13 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
'Invisible man drinks a glass of milk in the snow'
I liked that. Since I'm not liking much about the world today, that must have been either very good or very random.
Submitted by Pentameter (user info) at 2005-01-11 09:58:46 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
You made me giggle...a lot.
Submitted by Squijee (user info) at 2005-01-11 09:57:16 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I was assured by the man at the shop that it is indeed a real turtle. You must be a Nazi.
Submitted by ICO (user info) at 2005-01-11 09:55:06 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
That is not a real turtle!
Submitted by zakalwe (user info) at 2005-01-11 09:54:35 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Funny.
Submitted by DeathJester (user info) at 2005-01-11 09:52:02 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
You're a funny man.
Submitted by DeathJester (user info) at 2005-01-11 09:51:37 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
If zebra crossings are for humans, does that mean human crossings are for buttered popcorn?
Submitted by DeathJester (user info) at 2005-01-11 09:49:11 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I could get a pizza topped with a pygmy and a chair.
Submitted by comicbookguy (user info) at 2005-01-11 09:45:47 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
here's a +1