Man gets cock-blocked by Slipknot, seeks revenge through snowballs (1096 hits)
Category: Quotes & StoriesRating: 1.84 on 20 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Creepy_Guy <saved_by_sin.at.hotmail.com> (View user info) at 2005-01-12 09:37:43 EST
Well, tonight is the night that so many Saskatoon, Saskatchewan heavy metal fans have been waiting for. Slipknot is in town tonight, with Killswitch Engage and Unearth. I'm not sure that it is a sold out show, but it should be pretty close. At any rate, this is a big deal for the city of Saskatoon. Nothing ever happens here. Not usually, anyway.
Last night was the exception. I had a friend flying into the city at 11:35, so before leaving, I called the airport to check if it was on time. Nope, half an hour late. Okay, no problem. Get there at midnight and everything is going quite smoothly. Plane comes in, people unload, bags start coming out of that stupid little belt thingy. Then I see my buddy (Brad). He runs over to me as fast as he can...
Brad: Man...Slipknot was on my flight!
Me: Really? You're not stoned again, are you?
Brad: ...no. Serious. Just watch.
We watched the exit doors for a few seconds, then sure enough, six of the Slipknot guys come down the steps and out the door, accompanied by one of the hottest women I've ever seen. A woman that Brad seemed mighty interested in. She was about 5'6, 100 pounds or so and had brown hair with red and white streaks. Very nice.
Me: Wow...dude, I should get some autographs of-
Brad: Uh, no. One of them is pissed at me.
Me: What?
At that moment, one of them, a big guy with long, black hair looked over at Brad and shot him and evil, evil glare. My eyes went wide.
Brad: I hit on his girlfriend...
Me: *laughing* Really?
Brad: ...about 10 times through the entire flight.
It was about this time that he got the bright idea of saying sorry. And by sorry, I mean making a grab at her ass and running. He went for it. Oh, how he went for it. Alas, his efforts were thwarted when the guy stepped between him and the girl and gave Brad a hefty push in the other direction. He collected his bags (as well as remaining dignity) and we went to the car.
After we had finished packing the bags into the car, Brad looked over at the large bus and got an idea. Opening one of the bags, he brought out a pair of gloves and began rolling a snowball about the size of a large fist. He got in the car and rolled the window down.
Me: Shit, man. No way.
I knew what was up.
Brad: Just drive really fast past their bus. I'm gonna aim for the back window.
I did what he asked. I drove past the bus and Brad leaned out and got his ball ready. At that moment, two of the Slipknot guys came around the back of the bus. Yes, that's right...one of them was the boyfriend of the pretty brown-haired lady. Brad let the snowball go, this time aimed right at the guy's head.
It caught him in the side of the head with a mighty POOF. The guy went down...HARD. Took a snowball to the head, then slipped on the ice, landing right on his ass. I drove faster and faster until we were out of town and the laughter had died down...
This morning, my MSN name reads:
Snowballs > Slipknot
For good reason.
User Reviews
Submitted by Feijuada (user info) at 2005-01-30 09:52:26 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by mikethescottish (user info) at 2005-01-12 09:55:18 (#)
Ranking: 2
Give that man a medal.
Submitted by TheSpook (user info) at 2005-01-12 22:16:20 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
+2 for heavy fucking metal.
Submitted by thecaes (user info) at 2005-01-12 22:03:31 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
AWESOME!!
Submitted by Dustbrother (user info) at 2005-01-12 16:41:11 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
+ 2 for hitting the jackass.
Man, I hate Slipknot.
Submitted by Sassmasterr (user info) at 2005-01-12 16:25:55 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
that was high-larious!
you should make a sign that says
"I love snowballing"
wait...what?
Submitted by Donitsu2002 (user info) at 2005-01-12 16:03:41 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
well, at least killswitch engage is a good band.
Submitted by CJRipley (user info) at 2005-01-12 15:56:25 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Fantastic!
Submitted by bossk (user info) at 2005-01-12 13:15:15 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Snowballs > Slipknot - this line saved the whole deal for me.
Hell, I'd rather listen to snowballs that Slipknot.
Submitted by Creepy_guy (user info) at 2005-01-12 13:06:12 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Update: the bassist of my band called me about half an hour ago saying that he needs to run back home for a few days to see his parents, so that frees up a ticket... That sign idea is starting to sound pretty good right about now.
Submitted by QueenAshlee (user info) at 2005-01-12 11:13:30 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Oh, sweet.
Submitted by Hadooken (user info) at 2005-01-12 10:52:15 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
i am foregoing the moral high ground and rating this on sheer amusement
Submitted by PhiTappaAss (user info) at 2005-01-12 10:48:21 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Snowballs and obnoxious rock stars. Good.
Submitted by Shizae (user info) at 2005-01-12 10:00:38 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by mikethescottish (user info) at 2005-01-12 09:55:18 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Give that man a medal.
Submitted by DeathJester (user info) at 2005-01-12 09:50:17 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
You rock.
I want to see on the news that the show's cancelled because Corey's in hospital with concussion.
Submitted by Brdn_Nkd (user info) at 2005-01-12 09:49:26 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Totally_useless (user info) at 2005-01-12 09:42:14 (#)
Ranking: 2
Nice.
Enjoy Killswitch if you're going to the show.
Bring a sign that says 'I love throwing snowballs'.
hahahaha
Submitted by MaximusPadus (user info) at 2005-01-12 09:46:08 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Tight.
Submitted by BLITZKREIG_BOB (user info) at 2005-01-12 09:42:21 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
HAHAHAA!!!
I guess you can rule out getting any backstage passes.
Submitted by Totally_useless (user info) at 2005-01-12 09:42:14 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Nice.
Enjoy Killswitch if you're going to the show.
Bring a sign that says 'I love throwing snowballs'.
Submitted by Jeanneee (user info) at 2005-01-12 09:39:54 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
That's actually pretty funny.