LesbianAir Flight 107, You are Clear for Takeoff. (1030 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 1.04 on 19 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Maximus Padus (View user info) at 2005-01-12 10:16:00 EST
In the Congo, there isn't anything to do except avoid lethal wildlife. While I was there, all I was thinking about was getting the fuck out. How did I get coerced into this vacation package for the true wildlife lover? I sure as hell don't love huge anacondas and such. I found serenity near a waterfall and took a nap, only to find a mound of weird looking ants swarming around me. It was time to get up-out. I whipped out my GPS locator and pressed the Emergency Call button. The travel agency is affiliated with a search and rescue team, seeing as how the Congo can get a bit dangerous at times. On my radio I heard a lovely voice asking me my coordinates. I told her, and she told me to head NW 5ki for a makeshift landing strip. A couple hours later and I find myself at what looks like ruins of an old kingdom, with a convenient, shitty runway right in front of me. All I had to do was wait. She radio'd me again when they said they were landing.
Out of the horizon camme a loud propeller-driven plane, a KC-10, if I remember. I stood in relief as I watched it taxi itself around until a complete stop. Out of the door came 4 blonde chicks, all with helmets!!!!
"Wow," I say to myself, as I contemplate blowing up the plane.
This place couldn't be too bad if these chicks could be my concubines. I would have my own kingdom, with queens!!!
"Mr. Clement, are you ready?" asked what I think should be the supervisor, since she's the hottest.
If by ready, do they mean having the 2 uglier chicks dyke out with chocolate syrup and have the other 2 satisfy my every sexual need, FUCK YES.
With that said, I boarded the plane. These chicks had it going on! They were using the computer systems in a very intelligent manner. They knew exactly what they were doing. It turned me on. After a nauseating take-off, we were in the air. I hit on all of them, starting with the pilot. She didn't seem too interested. I guess the sky was more important or something. What's up with that?
Anyways, the navigator ended up giving it up to me in the cargo bay, and when we landed in Britain, I told them this country sucks and demanded a refuel and a trip back to the US. They obliged.
Returning to the US, I took the navigator home, fucked her a couple more times, then threw her out in the street to test her navigating skills at trying to find the health clinic, because I seriously infected her with gonorrhea to the eye.
User Reviews
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2005-01-23 17:01:22 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Here's that crate of Clearasil you ordered, dipshit.
Your wrist brace to help combat the tendinitis due to chronic masturbation is on backorder.
Submitted by kai070169 (user info) at 2005-01-20 13:16:44 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
No Anacondas in the Congo, fucktard - they're from South America. You should write about stuff you know, like going door to door at your trailer park asking people for spare pop bottles to return to the store, or taking it up the ass from strange men at the bus station mensroom... you know, stuff you're an expert on.
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2005-01-13 15:55:30 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
that's a long walk from the UW, what, were you hanging out at McChord?
Submitted by Shizae (user info) at 2005-01-12 18:37:08 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by wanderingsharps (user info) at 2005-01-12 17:45:18 EST (#)
Ranking: -1
ummhhh...so the point was? oh, yeah..you got to bang a chick and hang out in the congo....whatever.
Submitted by congo (user info) at 2005-01-12 16:57:42 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Plus 1 for each time you mentioned my name.
Submitted by Fartman (user info) at 2005-01-12 11:14:32 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
No Comment
Submitted by MaximusPadus (user info) at 2005-01-12 10:57:20 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by DeathJester (user info) at 2005-01-12 10:56:17 (#)
Ranking: 2
So... Which were the two ugly ones?
----------------------
Lower left and upper right, come on!
Submitted by DeathJester (user info) at 2005-01-12 10:56:17 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
So... Which were the two ugly ones?
Submitted by Donitsu2002 (user info) at 2005-01-12 10:55:30 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
this made me happy in my pants
Submitted by MaximusPadus (user info) at 2005-01-12 10:34:43 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I can't wait for this week to be over. I have all of next week off paid!!! You will not see me on uber as much.
Submitted by BLITZKREIG_BOB (user info) at 2005-01-12 10:32:48 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Good One!
Submitted by WhatTheHell (user info) at 2005-01-12 10:30:55 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Can you believe it... the king of the retards, SHLONGY gave it a good rating.
What's next ?? ....... he writes something himself that DOES'NT make him sound like an idiot ??
Nah........ I doubt it too.
Submitted by MaximusPadus (user info) at 2005-01-12 10:26:00 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
My life is now complete, with a +1 from Shlongy. It is greatly appreciated.
Submitted by j0andre1 (user info) at 2005-01-12 10:24:16 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Heh
Shut up
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2005-01-12 10:23:01 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
This actually wasn't bad, but coming from a dipshit like you, I need to ask...
Where'd you steal THIS from, you plagerizing assbasket?
Submitted by Jeanneee (user info) at 2005-01-12 10:22:32 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Ha!
Submitted by WhatTheHell (user info) at 2005-01-12 10:21:32 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I gotta ask Maximus.....
How the FUCK do you come up with this shit ?
Damn nigga!
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2005-01-12 10:19:48 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Hehehehe