Requiem (468 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 1.67 on 13 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Ancius (View user info) at 2005-01-13 10:52:35 EST
Went to a funeral a while ago. When I started writing this it would have been today. But I couldn't finish it.
First I have ever been to that involves someone I really care about in the box. I thought it would screw me up, but It really hasn't done anything to me apart from really make me realise how popular the guy was, and how totally hypocritical some people can be.
Like some ex-girlfriends. Now I'm sure this is not specific to my experience, It must be genetically encoded into certain women. I firmly believe that men can be bastards, but if you want to be truly evil, talk to a woman. There she stood, her pretty little face marred by tears, pretending that she ever gave a shit. I had to stop some of his real female friends from ripping her face off.
It's not done to start a fight in the middle of a church. Although I'm sure God would understand.
GOD: "What!? That bitch?? Unbelievable! That's it, it's time to make with the righteous smiting!"
JESUS: "Not yet dad, there's too many witnesses, you know what happened when you revealed yourself to Moses. Took you ages to sort that one out"
GOD: "Your right son. I'll just inflict her with debilitating herpes the next time she fucks some random drunk"
JESUS: "Nice one. Incidentally, the guy their all mourning is having a big party later, kind of his welcome to heaven thing"
GOD: "Sweet. I'll get the weed. You turn all that water into 100% proof"
JESUS: "No worries"
That's how I see it anyway.
At this point I stopped writing this originally. And now I realise that, while some people attending this funeral may have been in bad taste, I was so angry at the time I would have lashed out at Mike Tyson if he's looked at me sideways. We all had our own shit to deal with after this, something so sudden and shocking that it sends your mind cart wheeling away and messes with you in a way you never even thought possible.
The whole thing seemed kind of unreal. You stand there in a suit and tie, looking at an empty carcass, and the weirdest thoughts go through your head. You wonder whether or not he's better off. You wonder whether he might be there in spirit watching us wander around like zombies. You even try to sense him around you when you can actually get past the fog in your brain.
And by you, I of course mean me.
This year has been a good one for me. Met a great girl, got some of my shit together and nothing really fell apart until this. That leaves these totally illogical thoughts in my head. Thinking he's a twat for fucking up my year just before Christmas. Where the hell does that come from? Hating him for being so stupid. Hating whoever took him for taking him, hating everyone around me for no reason at all.
It's like you think your whole body is going to explode. You just have too much crap to deal with inside you and you can't let it out no matter how much you talk, or cry, or yell, or how much you try to drown it out with intoxicants, and you think it will never go away.
But then it does. Slowly, but you can feel it fade. And it allows you to deal with it, to remember all the good times you shared, to remember the past and share it with the people who were there. And that makes you feel better. It's the only thing that does.
I think that holds for most painful things in life.
Now all the chaos is over with, all the surreal Christmas people and visits and wandering through grey landscapes in a daze is done with, we can finally get together and raise our glasses to our friend. And the smiles are genuine, and the laughter warm, and the tears light and easily hidden behind a giggle or a smile or a hug.
His loss still aches, and I still sometimes think it's him when the phone rings, or when I first walk into a pub. It's a cliché, but it's also true. Hard to let someone go that you have known so long. Someone about whom you knew everything and who knew everything about you. Someone who has seen you at your worst and at your best and has been there all the same.
But the memory of him abides. And that will just have to be enough. Sometimes it's warming, sometimes it hurts like hell. But I never want to be rid of it.
Until we meet again.
User Reviews
Submitted by LadyPlural (user info) at 2005-01-13 21:16:17 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Sympathy +2.
Submitted by boomslang (user info) at 2005-01-13 11:39:09 EST (#)
Ranking: -1
i'm glad my rating of this post didn't reduce people to name calling.
Submitted by theshrew (user info) at 2005-01-13 11:24:41 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by boomslang (user info) at 2005-01-13 11:13:49 (#)
Ranking: -1
you can't tell me it wasn't sappy, you can't tell me it was well-written.
Also, what is with the trend of giving +2s willy nilly anytime someone posts a story about a friend or relative's death, regardless of the quality of the post.
You're not going to bring that person back by +2ing the post.
You want to read something good in this genre of post, try one of Smurfs. Compare it to that, and then retract your damn +2.
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your a fucking bell end.
Submitted by knucklesnelson (user info) at 2005-01-13 11:23:37 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by boomslang (user info) at 2005-01-13 11:13:49 EST (#)
Ranking: -1
you can't tell me it wasn't sappy, you can't tell me it was well-written.
Also, what is with the trend of giving +2s willy nilly anytime someone posts a story about a friend or relative's death, regardless of the quality of the post.
You're not going to bring that person back by +2ing the post.
You want to read something good in this genre of post, try one of Smurfs. Compare it to that, and then retract your damn +2.
Submitted by theshrew (user info) at 2005-01-13 11:12:46 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
nicely written, ive never been to a funeral and i worry how i will deal with it if its someone i really care about. but i imagine it would be like you described.
Submitted by MisterLongbaugh (user info) at 2005-01-13 11:08:29 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Thought the God-Jesus exchange was kinda hokey, though.
Submitted by Soley_Trinity (user info) at 2005-01-13 11:07:24 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Loren1 (user info) at 2005-01-13 11:04:00 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
boomslang (user info) at 2005-01-13 10:56:45 (#)
Ranking: -1
sappy
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I suppose you're idea of raising the bar on Ubersite is to write posts about porn or post pictures of photoshopped Olsen teenagers.
Stupid. Fucking. Asshole.
Submitted by AwesomeJohnson (user info) at 2005-01-13 11:02:18 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
good, but I gotta correct this:
100% proof (it's either % or proof, but not both. unless i'm mistaken, proof = 2 x %)
Submitted by Stin (user info) at 2005-01-13 11:01:59 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Loren1 (user info) at 2005-01-13 11:01:13 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by boomslang (user info) at 2005-01-13 10:56:45 EST (#)
Ranking: -1
sappy