The Survivor - Alternate Ending (943 hits)
Category: GeneralLabels: The_Survivor
Rating: 2 on 24 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by <brdn_nkd.at.yahoo.com> (View user info) at 2005-01-14 10:02:23 EST
I want to thank you all again for your comments, patience, and for reading my story. I've tried another ending here that begins after part Fifty. I have one other idea for an ending and I may put that one out too. One user asked if I planned the outcome of the story or if it just happened: in answer to that question I've written each section the day it was posted, I do not plan, maybe the story would be more consistent had I done some planning or written in larger clumps but I enjoyed letting the story unfold on it's own, sometimes surprising me. Well, whatever, thanks you all again for following this through.
Part 1 - http://www.ubersite.com/m/47397
Part 50 - http://www.ubersite.com/m/56344
Today is Jeff's last day to live. I went down early in the morning and asked him what he wants to eat for his last meal. Jeff was not however in any shape to make such a decision. It's obvious that the wounds in his legs cause him a great deal of pain and the infection is making him very sick. Since he couldn't answer me I've had to decide on a fitting meal for him. I ran to the grocery store in town and bought the necessary items, steak, lobster, rice, a bottle of wine, and a nice desert. I began the preparations taking great care to make this one of the best meals I've ever cooked.
I take the food along with the expensive bottle of wine I'd purchased earlier downstairs to Jeff. After setting a nice table I wake Jeff and tell him to come eat with me. He groggily gets up and comes to the table. As I begin to eat I look up to see Jeff staring at me.
"Isn't there anything I can do to turn you away from this Ben?"
"No, not really, in fact to do so now would be very costly to me, I'm under contract to finish the new season of Survivor by next week and you're death will be the last thing I need to film."
"What are you talking about? What do you mean the next season, I'm the host, you didn't want anything to do with Survivor when we got back."
"I didn't want anything to do with Survivor until the top dogs at the network called me and asked me to drive the next season. It seems they could see my anger and my intent to take justice into my own hands. They are allowing me to determine the direction of the season to follow this one in exchange for the rights to my story of retribution. They haven't always been pleased with the way I've done things but they're confident that this season compared with last will put them over the top."
"No! This isn't possible! You can't do this!"
"But I can Jeff, I'm merely filling your shoes. I let the network put cameras in my house, my car, this cabin, and to follow me as I fulfilled my mission of revenge and they will air it as next season's Survivor. In their test groups they found that I was a sympathetic character that viewers responded to and that you were no longer viewed favorably by your audience. When those test groups were told that we didn't know what was going to happen to us when we were sent to the island they got upset, angry, and nearly demanded retribution themselves so your greedy network decided to just use it."
"How does this make you different from me? This is worse in fact, you were under contract. You're.."
"Jeff, I'm different because I'm merely claiming the justice I was denied when we were not told the truth. Besides you're under contract too, you're employment agreement had a clause in it that allowed for this sort of thing. Apparently when the network resigned your contract with the intent of using your new direction for the show they anticipated some of the results because they put a clause in it basically giving up your life for the following year after the show was done filming."
"No! No, no, no...."
"Finish eating Jeff, this is your last meal so you should at least try to enjoy it."
"No! Please Ben, please let me live, I'll do anything!"
"Are you done with your meal? Anything you want to say to the viewers? Anything you want to tell the families of the people you've killed? In short Jeff, do you have anything interesting to say?"
Jeff sat at the table, tears sliding out of the corners of his eyes. Finally he looked up at me and simply said, "I'm sorry". He lowered his head again and let his tears fall to the table waiting for my response.
"Jeff, That's the one thing you could have said to keep me from killing you. Unfortunately for you, you waited to long and in so doing lost the biggest challenge of your life, overcoming your pride. It's time Jeff, please go sit in the chair."
Jeff got up slowly, unsteady on his mangled legs. "Ben, I'm sorry, please forgive me before you kill me. I'm sorry for all that's happened! Please!"
"My forgiveness is not the forgiveness you need seek, I think you should be much more concerned about forgiveness from your god, whoever that might be."
"Oh, come off it Ben, If I'm going to hell surely you'll be following, I'll save you a spot."
"That's a possibility I haven't neglected to think about but the difference Jeff is that I will repent and ask for forgiveness. I also think I may have already endured hell. Go."
Jeff walks toward the chair but before he reaches it he falls to his knees and begs once again. I was out of patience; I couldn't listen to any more of his sniveling. Would any amount of begging let one of my friends out of the any of the various gruesome deaths they experienced? I don't think so and it won't help Jeff now either. I walked over and kicked him in the stomach; after he fell to the floor I roughly grabbed him under the arms and pulled him up into the chair. I tied him to the chair and began dousing the cellar in gasoline. Jeff looked at me with hatred, fear, and loathing in his eyes, self-preservation kicked in again and he tried to mask these emotions as he pleaded with one last time. I poured the rest of the fuel on him and watched him writhe in pain as the gas hit his wounds.
"Goodbye Jeff."
I walked to the foot of the stairs and lit a match tossing t onto the fuel below me. I watched as the flames quickly grew until they gnawed their way through the fuel to Jeff's body. I saw his face contorted in agony as the flames began to consume him and as I turned to go I heard Jeff's final scream of agony.
I walked out to my car and watched as the cabin was slowly consumed, enjoying the heat and vibrant colors of the dancing flames. I got in my car and headed for town, I had one last thing to do before I could try to rejoin the world in life.
I booked myself into an expensive, luxurious hotel that night planning to stay there for a while. I have no interest in returning to my old apartment, there's nothing left there for me now that was the old life. I begin to plan my last act of vengeance.
It's true the network contacted me and paid me well to exact the vengeance I would have taken anyway, but the network was naïve to believe I could be quelled so easily. They paid me for the rights to my vengeance and offered me the Host position for the following season thinking they could reign me in. I have decided that I do not want the host position any more. Jeff did make one valid point during our discussion, me acting as Host would only serve to condone, or accept the actions taken by an irresponsible network looking for ratings.
The network has its film, all the people I've killed, some personal video diaries, and my preparations. If they haven't made a backup or taken the film off site they won't have it much longer though I have saved a copy for myself. I stumbled across demolition plans on the Internet. Some demolition company actually published how they caused the implosion of a building! Very detailed, how they determined the blast capacity, how much explosive they needed, etc. I'm not looking for anything near as neat as their controlled implosions but their information has allowed me to determine what I would need to take the network's building down.
I spent the next couple of weeks enjoying the luxury of the hotel while assembling the materials I needed. Some of the items were a little difficult to come by but as with everything else in life, I've found that if you're determined enough you can always find a way to accomplish your end goal.
Having an affiliation with the network actually works out for me, as now I will have the necessary access to the building to complete my task. I set everything up being careful to conceal the charges and wires I needed so that they would not be discovered before I was ready. When all was set I decided to execute the end of my plan on a Sunday night. I have no desire to needlessly kill people but I think, symbolically, taking down their building will be sufficient. If this doesn't put them out of business it will certainly make it difficult for them to survive.
Sunday night, I call in a bomb threat with five minutes to go, giving the security guys a chance to get out. After all, they had nothing to do with the show itself. I waited the five minutes and then pushed the button to make it go. I watched, as the building seemed to contract before exploding in a great shower of debris. I watched the scene unfold below me, fire taking hold of the remains of the building as emergency crews begin to show up. I almost feel empty now, no other actions required of me to soothe the feeling of injustice I had when I returned from the island alone. I hope that the show Survivor is over, that there will be no more "games". As I turn to walk away from the home of the source of so much of my pain I begin to look forward to disappearing. I will begin traveling tomorrow and with any luck I'll soon find something worth living for.
User Reviews
Submitted by kovalevmk (user info) at 2009-06-01 16:47:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Awesome. Best series on here.
Submitted by Stagger_Lee (user info) at 2006-04-19 08:30:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Okay. I'm leaving this review on this post because this was the ending that I preferred.
It's been awhile since you posted this, so I don't know if you've looked at any sort of publishing for this, but it could be a decent short novel. Here we go with some presumptuous comments from me:
1) It should be much longer. (I can hear people groaning.) Some of the installments were far too short and there was a lot of "telling" of what was going on and not enough "showing". They're worth +2s on this site, but they could be better. Each chapter on its own should be fleshed out far more, with less glossing over detail.
2) Owing in part to the great deal of "telling", there wasn't a great deal of character development, which made it very difficult to care when characters died. A lot of the characters seemed to merely be there so stuff could happen to them. I didn't keep track of who any of the cast were and I didn't really need to.
3) I've read Cardboard Box Adventures, and I see you really enjoy the multiple perspective thing, which is cool. Perhaps you could try titling your chapters along the lines of "Ben - Now", sort of like Irvine Welsh. That's not a real issue though, it's usually pretty easy to tell whose perspective you're writing from.
4) I really, enjoyed reading this because the plot was good and the way you cut between timeframes was excellent. Good job all round on the series, my comments are meant in the most constructive way possible.
Submitted by Stagger_Lee (user info) at 2006-04-19 08:17:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Better than the other ending, but I feel it tried to cram too much into the length. Should've been about twice as long. Good though.
Submitted by Ditka (user info) at 2006-01-04 16:08:16 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2005-12-28 20:50:58 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Yeah, Dave, that's what I meant. These were before my time, and they
are excellent.
Submitted by Davros (user info) at 2005-12-28 09:34:21 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2005-12-28 08:58:11 (#)
Ranking: 2
Davros, you are pretty cool. These stories are great.
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I hope you are refferring to my reviewing them and drawing them to your attention.
I couldn't write anything this cool.
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I like this ending better than the first as it doesn't seem that Ben has sold out.
-Dave
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2005-12-28 08:58:11 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Davros, you are pretty cool. These stories are great.
Submitted by RyuFu (user info) at 2005-11-05 00:25:34 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I like the combination of this ending along with Ben ending up with the chick. He doesn't to be alone after all this crap. But let's see the alternate alternate....
Submitted by Wrightcopy (user info) at 2005-09-12 13:37:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
This is definitely the best of the endings you wrote. It feels more like something Ben would do after all this. Granted I do feel that he would probably end up in a psych ward somewhere, the whole "it's all been a dream" idea is... well, cliched. I also don't feel like he'd go along with the network after everything. The second one definitely fits best, and well.
Thank you for writing this. The presence of this series on this site makes it that much better. Don't worry about it being unplanned or too short or too long or in too many parts or whatever. You seem to write very well very naturally, so just write and it will be great.
Submitted by Wrightcopy (user info) at 2005-09-12 13:27:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
*stands up and claps loudly* BRAVO!
Submitted by Benny (user info) at 2005-08-22 23:28:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I just read both endings and I think this one is more true to the character. I think that even if the people knew what they were getting into initially it would only take a death or two to snap the contestants back to reality and make them want to get off the show. What would Ben do then? Keep killing them or back out of the show?
Submitted by mikethescottish (user info) at 2005-03-01 18:38:05 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I prefer this ending, characterisation seems more consistent- yet as far as i'm concerned, you've barely put a foot wrong in the entire series.
Submitted by Ed_0150 (user info) at 2005-01-21 01:41:22 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Awesome
Submitted by Wuzi (user info) at 2005-01-20 21:38:45 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
*tear* good job man bravo
Submitted by Brdn_Nkd (user info) at 2005-01-18 09:35:09 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Thanks for the compliments and for reading!
Submitted by goleafsgo (user info) at 2005-01-17 19:44:05 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by jack11058 (user info) at 2005-01-15 14:30:45 (#)
Ranking: 2
just when i thought your series couldn't get any better. well done, mate. well done.
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Submitted by zakalwe (user info) at 2005-01-14 14:31:18 (#)
Ranking: 2
41 hits is not enough.
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Now it's 81 hits, still too few for one of the, if not the best story on this site.
Submitted by jojojojoan (user info) at 2005-01-17 08:59:36 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
liked this ending better. the other one is not what i would have thought he would have done. this one sounds more like him. clever.
Submitted by jack11058 (user info) at 2005-01-15 14:30:45 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
just when i thought your series couldn't get any better. well done, mate. well done.
Submitted by zakalwe (user info) at 2005-01-14 14:31:18 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
41 hits is not enough.
Submitted by shitfuck (user info) at 2005-01-14 11:45:27 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Jeff get's all the poontang.
Submitted by wookie (user info) at 2005-01-14 10:12:53 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I didn't thing the first one was horrible, but yeah, I like this one better.
Submitted by DeathJester (user info) at 2005-01-14 10:11:33 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Yes, yes, and yes.
You rock.
Submitted by Adamdidit2u (user info) at 2005-01-14 10:08:40 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Hey I clicked on special features not alternate endings, peice of shit DVD player
Submitted by zakalwe (user info) at 2005-01-14 10:07:41 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
So much better. Look forward to a third possibility.