Bring back Shlongy's gay lover - and Random Joe! (1639 hits)
Category: GeneralRating: 1.41 on 26 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by zakalwe (View user info) at 2005-01-15 16:30:49 EST
In early November the Random Joe feature was eliminated from the site, preventing people from reviewing posts without signing in.
Was there a good technical reason for removing this option? Probably.
But the site has really suffered from the loss. No longer can people post abusive reviews under a false name, or endlessly argue with themselves. This place was made a little less interesting, a very bad thing.
But worst of all was the loss of one peerless reviewer, someone we all knew and loved.
Shlongy's gay lover
The perfect complement to Shlongy's uniquely acerbic and cruel reviews, someone who could make us laugh and make us cry.
What I'm trying to say is, bring back Random Joe!
SGL's greatest hits:
http://www.ubersite.com/m/49781#910770
http://www.ubersite.com/m/48944#889513
http://www.ubersite.com/m/49908#914511
http://www.ubersite.com/m/49731#909471
http://www.ubersite.com/m/48918#889217
http://www.ubersite.com/m/48947#889658
http://www.ubersite.com/m/50279#923766
-----------------------------------------------------------
http://www.ubersite.com/m/50279#924192
Submitted by Shlongy's gay lover at 2004-11-01 19:02:51 (#)
Ranking: 0
I ripped shlongy's ass last night
-----------------------------------------------------------
http://www.ubersite.com/m/49879#913461
-----------------------------------------------------------
http://www.ubersite.com/m/48948#889665 (scroll up for more)
Submitted by shlongy's gay lover at 2004-10-19 14:14:05 (#)
Ranking: 2
Reminds me of the time Me and shlongy had a fatal 4-way with a goat and a german shepard.
------------------------------------------------------------
http://www.ubersite.com/m/50029#925295
http://www.ubersite.com/m/49384#900410
------------------------------------------------------------
http://www.ubersite.com/m/49732#909488
Submitted by Shlongy's gay lover at 2004-10-26 13:28:49 (#)
Ranking: 0
Shlongy --> gay.
------------------------------------------------------------
http://www.ubersite.com/m/51178#949636
http://www.ubersite.com/m/48959#890112
http://www.ubersite.com/m/49826#913036
------------------------------------------------------------
http://www.ubersite.com/m/49633#906133
Submitted by Shlongy's gay lover at 2004-10-25 13:00:01 (#)
Ranking: 0
A while back Shlongy had to have some dental work. Turns out that my spunk was so sweet that it rotted poor Shlongy's teeth. He had them all pulled, at my request. I prefer my hummers without the constant scraping of unnecessary teeth.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
http://www.ubersite.com/m/49362#898866
Submitted by Shlongy's gay lover at 2004-10-22 15:44:14 (#)
Ranking: 0
Shlongy is so frightened of Freddy Krueger, he'll urinate all over himself and the floor at the mere mention of his name. Of course, I try to rectify this behavior by rubbing Shlongy's nose in it, like the dog he is. Unfortunately, Shlongy gets turned on by being dominated, and will proceed to shove any nearby objects into his anus. The last trip to the ER resulted in me getting back a shit-stained remote and a gerbil carcass. Funny, I didn't remember having a gerbil.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
http://www.ubersite.com/m/48951#889684
http://www.ubersite.com/m/48949#889714
http://www.ubersite.com/m/49287#898105
http://www.ubersite.com/m/49679#907856
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
http://www.ubersite.com/m/49059#896198
Submitted by Shlongy's gay lover at 2004-10-21 15:12:10 (#)
Ranking: 0
Shlongy, like I always tell you, nobody wants to be with a hairy, pimply 43 year old guy who lives with 14 cats. It's a good thing I feel sorry for you, most men wouldn't care to share their ejaculate with you. By the way, does it burn when you poo? My peener is most definitely oozing some nasty stuff, and seeing as how I been regularly plugging your poop chute it's a good idea to get that rectum checked.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
http://www.ubersite.com/m/49637#906157
http://www.ubersite.com/m/49256#896465
http://www.ubersite.com/m/49769#910621
http://www.ubersite.com/m/48963#890109
http://ubersite.com/m/49172#896459
http://ubersite.com/m/50132#923723
http://www.ubersite.com/m/48961#889932
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
http://www.ubersite.com/m/49245#896175
Submitted by Shlongy's gay lover at 2004-10-21 15:06:09 (#)
Ranking: 0
I give Shlongy a "Glen" every night. It's a technique where I dangle my testicles on his chin, and berate him verbally until he defecates into a small glass jar. The jar mouth is then inserted into Shlongy's anus, and the shitty contents are heated with a flame. Shlongy loves getting a "Glen".
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Pick of the Bunch:
http://www.ubersite.com/m/48960#890083
Submitted by Shlongy's gay lover at 2004-10-19 16:26:36 (#)
Ranking: 0
This reminds me of something that happened to me last Christmas. Shlongy and I went home to meet his folks over the holidays. One night Shlongy was getting it real good in the pooper from yours truly, and in walks his dad. His old man let out this muffled cry, and quickly closed the door. After I finished on Shlongy's back, I went out and asked his dad what the problem was (seeing as how Shlongy is so flamingly queer). Turns out that the old fellow was startled to see his boy taking one for the team like old times, when Shlongy Sr. would "tuck in" Shlongy. Good times.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
A plea from the man himself: http://www.ubersite.com/m/51208#951457
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2004-11-11 10:45:28 (#)
Ranking: 0
Wait...Shlongy's Gay Lover can't post anymore? This blows.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------
And lets not forget "MickGinny's cunt of an ex-wife" either.
http://www.ubersite.com/m/50223#922134
http://www.ubersite.com/m/50649#933856
Just to remind you, here is Shlongy's genuine camwhore (he's the badass top left, not that fag on the stage)
User Reviews
Submitted by thorpe (user info) at 2005-04-24 10:07:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I love it when people talk about "altars".
Submitted by c1ndy (user info) at 2005-04-24 09:29:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I think the random joe comments are funny... can't you just make an altar if you want to be anonymous though?
To everyone that gets upset by Random Joe comments: repart after me: I will not get upset by comments made by anonymous comments on the internet. Also please bear in mind the much discussed theory that there are only 5 or 6 actual posters on uber, and all posters are altars of them.
Submitted by Santa_Claus_ (user info) at 2005-04-24 08:31:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Hohoho. Santa is very happy.
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2005-04-01 18:12:57 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by Adamdidit2u (user info) at 2005-02-10 11:25:43 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Hahahaha
I used to abuse that name too
I bet there were half a dozen folks who did
It was too easy
But you know some people always have to fuck it up for everyone
Submitted by disgruntled (user info) at 2005-02-10 11:15:42 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by munkeypants (user info) at 2005-01-16 16:45:06 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
MEH. GOOD RIDDANCE
Submitted by zakalwe (user info) at 2005-01-16 12:25:48 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Method = Shlongy's gay lover?
Him or shitfuck, they seem to fit.
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2005-01-15 22:43:26 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
WOOFERS MCGEE WAS BANNED BECAUSE BART IS A MUDPUMPER
Submitted by polyamorousaj (user info) at 2005-01-15 22:28:49 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by zakalwe (user info) at 2005-01-15 17:00:56 (#)
Ranking: 0
HAHAHAHAHAHA
"MickGinny's dog" - classic
****
Thanks.
I got the original idea from Method's old alter that either got banned or he doesn't use anymore.
http://www.ubersite.com/u/AbusedDoggie
Submitted by sketch9 (user info) at 2005-01-15 21:52:40 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
i loved random joe.
he was like everyone's buddy, but at the same time was fucking their girlfriend and stealing cash from their wallets.
Submitted by ICO (user info) at 2005-01-15 18:01:12 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
aww, Good times.
I miss the Random Joe feature too. (is that really how you spell feature?)
Submitted by shitfuck (user info) at 2005-01-15 17:16:01 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
People sure did look a lot gayer in the 70's.
Submitted by zakalwe (user info) at 2005-01-15 17:00:56 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
HAHAHAHAHAHA
"MickGinny's dog" - classic
Submitted by polyamorousaj (user info) at 2005-01-15 16:51:32 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
http://www.ubersite.com/m/50004#uber_reviews
Some of the best random joes ever.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2005-01-15 16:48:19 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
I'm trying to figure out how long it took you to find all of these hidden treasures. And why.
Submitted by zakalwe (user info) at 2005-01-15 16:47:41 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Did find a review by bart explaining his reasons for taking down the feature (http://www.ubersite.com/m/51208#950755
http://www.ubersite.com/m/51208#950755)
seems unfair to change the site because of one individuals actions.
Submitted by Sofa_Ace (user info) at 2005-01-15 16:42:51 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I've only used random Joe a couple times when I was too lazy to sign in. I've seen some funny stuff done with it though. Maybe if it comes back I'll exploit it, but I'll probably be too lazy.
Submitted by zakalwe (user info) at 2005-01-15 16:42:44 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
You miss him too Shlongy, admit it.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2005-01-15 16:42:01 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Why God, oh why?
Go J...E...T...S... +9.5
Submitted by polyamorousaj (user info) at 2005-01-15 16:41:30 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
+2 because you're going to get a LOT of hits.
Way to capitalize.
I hope people look at the comments first because I'm going to tell them to use Mozilla so you don't get all of the hits you normally would.
Submitted by zakalwe (user info) at 2005-01-15 16:37:01 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Yeah, I'd like to know who it was too. Any ideas?
Submitted by shitfuck (user info) at 2005-01-15 16:36:56 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
FUCKING SHIT IN THE BASKET THIS WAS FUCKING AWESOME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Submitted by youarsoghey (user info) at 2005-01-15 16:36:24 EST (#)
Ranking: -1
It was taken out for a good reason. KoolMang abused the system by spamming on his user name. Bart blocked his user name. Then he spammed on other user names and the Random Joe feature, then Bart blocked his IP. Due to his unbelievable nerd-dom, he found another way in, so Bart took away Random Joe and threatened to go to the authorities since KoolMang was, in fact, committing a crime (under the hacking and internet laws of the 90's). KoolMang ran away with his tail between his legs and this place has never been better. The Random Joe thing could come back, but it just lets people be pussies. However, I do like that with the Random Joe, people who don't want to sign up can say something too.
Submitted by polyamorousaj (user info) at 2005-01-15 16:36:12 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I don't really care that Random Joes are gone.
I utilized them myself from time to time to make a joke that would not have been as funny coming straight from my username.
http://www.ubersite.com/m/49560#908151 (Read the title first.)
But they really don't server much purpose.
Sure, sometimes it was funny riling people up with them, playing Devil's Advocate and all that, but they really don't bring that much to the table. And the site's quality has gone up tremendously since due to needing to have a verified account.
I think we should find out who Shlongy's Gay Lover was and get him his own account to make comments as he pleases, but no Random Joes.
Submitted by FilthyAssistant (user info) at 2005-01-15 16:35:47 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I cannot thank you enough for bringing this gem to my attention:
Submitted by MickGinny's Wife (AKA 'The Cun at 2004-11-04 21:41:00 (#)
Ranking: 0
I am such a fucking cunt, all I do is sit around my brothel of a trailer and moan to be ripped apart by many strange men's cocks.