Time-Clock V.1.5 (1008 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 0.9 on 14 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Derek Blanchard <blanchfor.at.kitty-hawk.navy.mil> (View user info) at 2003-03-17 18:32:11 EST
I was wondering:
If I had a "magical" clock that had the power to turn back time for me and me alone (a sort of backwards time-traveling device) what would I do with it? Don't understand? Here are the instructions:
Time-Clock V.1.5
The Time-Clock has simple built-in functions to give you (the time traveler) the ability to travel back in time*. The device works by setting the time period* you desire (past only) on the face of the clock. By pressing a red button located on the top of the clock you enable the device and travel back in time*!
*Only short distances in time-space apply, the farthest back any person has ever been sent back in time is 36 hours from the time in which they activated the device.
Features:
A. The Time-Clock will take anything physically attached to it back in time. In short, if you are holding the clock while holding another object, both you and the object will be sent back to the time you chose.
B. Of course, vast pieces of the earth such as the ground or a vast boulder (maybe one made of sugar) will not be transported back in time-space as these objects are too large for the stream energy inside the clock to envelop fully.
C. The time clock will only travel back about 36 hours from the inital light-off. This means you cannot go back to WW2, or to the middle ages, and you can't go check out Jesus either. The time-clock's true purpose (this is a BIG secret) is to give you the ability to say FUCK YOU to someone and then press the clock quickly so no one other than you would be the wiser of what happened. Put in basic terms, with the Time-Clock you have the ability to do ANYTHING YOU WANT TO DO (within your own physical and mental limits of course) and not have to suffer any consequences for your actions!
- So what would I do with it?
1. I would say whatever I want to whoever I felt like saying something to and if my actions were too stern I would just hit the damn clock and boom.
2. I would steal many things.
3. I would do some pretty fucked up naughty shit which I will not mention here.
4. I would punch my supervisors in the fucking face and give myself just enough time before going back to enjoy the fruits of my labor.
5. I would run through the p-ways of the ship naked execpt for my sailor hat slapping every person I came across.
6. I would finally give the world a piece of my mind.
I think this would prove interesting. I'm not sure though. If you care to add, what would you do with the Time-Clock?
User Reviews
Submitted by EvilZurr (user info) at 2003-04-30 21:43:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
if i could go back in time id NOT SPEED and NOT GET THAT TICKET that is about to fuck up my life two times over. ARG, stupid law!
Submitted by The_Otter (user info) at 2003-03-23 09:57:36 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Ah, very well then.
Submitted by blanchfor (user info) at 2003-03-18 20:31:01 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Phooey, SPIT A OW... Sir Otter, I spit at ze question.
If I wanted to answer it though...
In the slap everyone naked scenairo:
I would go slap everyone I came across naked and then after I was finished I would go back in time '
and blamm-o. Only the THOUGHTS of me slapping people would remain for I am back in ze past. Or smoething of that nature.
Submitted by streetpunk (user info) at 2003-03-18 11:14:35 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
No see, he would slap people, then go back in time and when the moment came for him to slap people(second time around) he wouldn't doit. Therefore, changing his personal history and not facing consequences but he would have the memory of the looks on everyones faces.
I have a question, when you go back, do you wear the same clothes you were wearing at the time and do you have the same amount of money in your wallet or do you go back with whatever money you have in your pocket and what clothes you are wearing at the moment? When you get back to the future(ha) do you have the original amount of money you left with? Just curiousity.
Peace,
STREETPUNK
Submitted by The_Otter (user info) at 2003-03-18 06:39:24 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
I'd use it to quit putting my foot in my mouth with my girlfriend. So it would get a lot of use.
Question though Derek....If you ran around on your boat naked and slapped everybody, wouldn't you still have to face the consequinces? So you go back 36 hours and smack people, then (you didn't say if this was the case) return to your original time 36 hours after you smacked people, you'd still have to face what ever punishment for smacking people. It would be as if you committed this act, dissappeared for 36 hours, then were found again.
Submitted by hidden101 (user info) at 2003-03-18 01:01:05 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
hahahahaha. two chicks at the same time... god, i love that movie.
Submitted by bart (user info) at 2003-03-18 00:21:32 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I'll tell you what I'd do, man: two chicks at the same time, man
I think with the exception of saving a family member from a car crash, I would go buy a lottery ticket for whatever state had the largest unclaimed prize that day.
Barring family member car crash, lottery ticket, and two chicks at the same time, I think I'd like to try to start a riot protest. That's the kind of situation where you really don't want to be in charge if things aren't going well. If everything goes well, I will have accomplished something big. If things don't go well, I just hit the Time Clock and go to work and sit at my desk instead of torching a dumpster in front of City Hall.
Submitted by EvilZurr (user info) at 2003-03-17 21:33:34 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
err, id do that whole sunday deely over and over. or id play the lotto and win every time. HA! eat that super lotto losers!
but thats ignoring rationality... sounds like fun :D
Submitted by blanchfor (user info) at 2003-03-17 21:22:41 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Zurr,
You are too much concentrating on the rational science of it all Zurr-San. Hold your mind on the CONCEPT of the idea. Remember, the device does not actually exist so it will not be perfect in a rational sense. However to answer your questions:
You can jump 36 hour time periods after 36 hour time periods and so on BUT:
You can only jump 36 hours before the time the clock was FIRST activated. Which means you can go no farther back than 36 hours before you first purchased the clock. However, as future progress you get MORE time to jump back, see what I mean? So as the clock ages, the further its age span goes. I'm so cool I can make that up. Tee hee.
When you jump back in time you manifest inside of your previous self. You do not make another you, so if you think about your body and thoughts travel back to overlapping of the previous you. Contradictory? Yes. This is not supposed to make sense because a time clock does not exist. There is no reality in it. CONCEPT my friend. What would you do (without all the rationlist theories and explanations)?
Submitted by TheMan (user info) at 2003-03-17 19:35:10 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
In the normal time stream, I would hit on a chick. If she refused my advances, I would make small talk and find out something about her to help my cause. Then BAM! Hit the clock and go back in time 2 minutes before I talked to her the first time, then try again. Eventually, you find out enough about her likes, dislikes and make enough mistakes to learn from, and eventually she will be mine. Kind of like Bill Murray in 'Groundhog Day'. Only better. Because it would be me. And I would end up tapping the poon. I would eventually have a veritable cornucopia of hot bitches lusting after me and my studly ways. Ahh, life is great. Damn, only if there were such a device.
Oh, and I would help save people and shit. Like if a family member died in a car accident. Go back and make sure they're not where the accident happened. And I'd make sure my buddy didn't get pinched by the feds for dishing out the Class III pharmaceuticals. And I would have gone back and made Bush declare war like 3 days ago. Just becuase I feel antsy.
Submitted by EvilZurr (user info) at 2003-03-17 19:28:33 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
so you can go back in time only 36 hours...at a time? why not just make a few hundred 36 hour jumps
and stop 9-11? or go back a couple thousand times and invest 1000 dollars in a bank account? or a few million times and walk in on your parents while theyre conceiving you?
or did you mean 36 hours, and then you wait 36 hours for a recharge? if so, id wait for one of them lazy sundays when im free to whatever and live that day over and over until i did everything perfectly and became master of whatever. then ill wait till the next weekend and do it all over again.
good IN THEORY, but do you manifest your old body when you go back? what if you take someone with you? do you then manifest one body? imho there is no such as time travel, but interdimensional travel. say, if you wanted to go back in time to kill a man before he killed your parents. so you go back to that day (and this is time travel) _you_ are an adult whilst you are a child. so you stop the guy, parents live, and you (the kid) are no longer vengeful. hence his future form will not go back in time and _you_ (the adult) will vaporize and everything you had done in the past will undo and the man will kill them all over and etc etc. my point is, if you went to an alternate dimension, you could kill the guy and then live amongst you (the kid) without feeling the consequences of TTI, or time travel irony.
Submitted by blanchfor (user info) at 2003-03-17 19:01:50 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
You wouldn't be able to stop yourself from reading this post because your thoughts go back with you so no matter what you couldn't strip my bullshit from your mind. Too bad I guess
Submitted by beer-turtle (user info) at 2003-03-17 18:44:21 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
/asshole on
With the time clock I'd go back in time and stop myself from reading this.
/asshole off
Not a bad concept...sounds like a hind-sighters dream come true. Get blasted in a conversation but not have a snappy come back only to think of one hours later...just go back in time and deliver it.
Of course you'd have to avoid paradoxical situations
-Turtle
Submitted by Beer_bong (user info) at 2003-03-17 18:40:32 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I'd go get my paycheck, then go back in time, get another paycheck, and so on.