Blowjob etiquette for woman (1398 hits)
Category: NoneRating: -0.53 on 42 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by <ACIDTRIP> (View user info) at 2005-01-17 11:36:57 EST
1. First of all, yes you're obligated to do it. If you don't, we will find someone (younger, prettier and dirtier) who will.
2. Second, swallowing a teaspoon full of cream is a hell of a lot easier than licking a dead fish.
3. You want to talk about farting? Does the word "queef" mean anything to you?
4. I will use your ears as I see fit. don't worry about it and be thankful I'm not pulling your hair.
5. When you're on your period, stuffing something in your mouth is the only way to stop you from bitching and moaning. Suck it up!
6. Speaking of which, if you are bleeding for five straight days, you need all the fluids you can get. trust me.
7. You bitch about the taste, but trust me when I tell you that we get the short end of the stick in flavor country.
8. At least there is no danger of a dick bleeding in your mouth.
9. Play with the balls.
10. No matter how good you think you are at it, we've had better.
11. Caress the ass, too. We like that!
12. Make hay when the sun shines. it's "wide awake" in the morning now, but when you get old & fat and looking for some action, I gah-ron-tee it'll be "sound asleep".
13. If you swallow, then you don't have to worry about getting any on your face, now will you?
User Reviews
Submitted by Vomit (user info) at 2005-01-23 10:27:30 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Haven't seen this one before.
Submitted by ACIDTRIP (user info) at 2005-01-21 16:42:25 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Now go away or I shall taunt you a second time.
Submitted by ACIDTRIP (user info) at 2005-01-21 16:41:24 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Lush - Never enter a battle of wits unarmed, beeotch.
Submitted by lush (user info) at 2005-01-21 16:37:35 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Haha you're gay. I know no one would talk like that if they wanted a bj from a woman.
And yes, we all know you didn't write it.
Submitted by BongZilla (user info) at 2005-01-21 16:36:40 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Good Charlotte knows who to give blow jobs.
http://www.ubersite.com/m/57274
Submitted by ACIDTRIP (user info) at 2005-01-21 16:36:11 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I find pain intoxicating....
Submitted by QueenAshlee (user info) at 2005-01-21 16:19:44 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Careful, kid. I bite.
Submitted by ACIDTRIP (user info) at 2005-01-21 16:05:31 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
So now we know why some mammals eat their children...
Submitted by ACIDTRIP (user info) at 2005-01-21 16:02:19 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Queen...when I want some lip from you, I'll rattle my zipper.
Submitted by QueenAshlee (user info) at 2005-01-21 15:57:52 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Well.... There's you, so that's at least ONE retard...
Just a tip? If you're going to claim that you don't care whether Uber collectively likes/agrees with your post, you probably shouldn't repond 7 times bitching about people who didn't like/agree with it.
Submitted by ACIDTRIP (user info) at 2005-01-21 15:55:32 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I mean *possibly*
Submitted by ACIDTRIP (user info) at 2005-01-21 15:54:18 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
How many retards can possible find their way onto this site...
Submitted by ACIDTRIP (user info) at 2005-01-21 15:46:31 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Once again...ran across it on the net and posted it because I had never seen it before and thought it was funny. None of the views or opinions expressed in this post are necessarily those of the poster. If you don't like or agree with it, I don't give a fuck.
Submitted by Someone_you_trust (user info) at 2005-01-21 15:44:20 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
We KNOW you didn't make it up, assmunch. However, the fact that you posted it indicates that you agree with it, at least on some level.
Submitted by QueenAshlee (user info) at 2005-01-21 15:40:47 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
You've never had even a tiny bit of sex, have you? What's that like?
Submitted by ACIDTRIP (user info) at 2005-01-21 15:40:11 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Just a question...how many of you stupid fucks still think I made this list up myself??
Submitted by Loren1 (user info) at 2005-01-21 15:37:38 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Not in the least bit funny or even slightly original. Oh, and if the women you are with taste like dead fish, you should consider finding someone outside the boundaries of your trailer park.
Submitted by The_Wizard (user info) at 2005-01-21 15:32:53 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Plagerism
Auto -2die.
Thank you.
Submitted by CJRipley (user info) at 2005-01-21 15:27:11 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
"Caress the ass, too. We like that!"
HA! That's a first, haven't heard that one.
humm, I'll have to keep that in mind.
Submitted by rollerboognish (user info) at 2005-01-17 17:50:24 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
plagiarizing something with bad grammar and the word "gah-ron-tee" = +50,000
Submitted by Kamargo (user info) at 2005-01-17 17:46:45 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
A,fucking,men
Submitted by CookieLass (user info) at 2005-01-17 17:34:12 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment
Submitted by pokeysrevenge (user info) at 2005-01-17 17:34:02 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Learn yoga.
Submitted by gabrielpm (user info) at 2005-01-17 17:29:43 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Ah! A fellow Rationalist, finally!
Submitted by ACIDTRIP (user info) at 2005-01-17 12:31:11 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Ahh Tigre, good to hear from you again. Everyone knows how valued your opinion is.
Submitted by Tigre (user info) at 2005-01-17 12:29:07 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Not only retarded, but stolen too.
Fuck you.
Nigger.
Submitted by Can_Always_Trust_A_Liar (user info) at 2005-01-17 12:27:23 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Merlina (user info) at 2005-01-17 11:54:24 (#)
Ranking: -2
teaspoon full of cream?!?!!
look mister if it tasted anything like cream I wouldn't be able to DO anything else. My mouth would be permantly attached .
But it doesn't.
It tastes like snotty salt.
Try some yourself fuckstick.
AHAHAHAHAHA!
Submitted by Satansgotsyphillis (user info) at 2005-01-17 12:18:39 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
you are a big ugly bag of suck
Submitted by Merlina (user info) at 2005-01-17 12:14:27 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
ahh fair enough.
here - have a +1
Submitted by foster (user info) at 2005-01-17 12:08:48 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by ACIDTRIP (user info) at 2005-01-17 12:04:20 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Obviously you are unaware that I didn't write this and just thought it was amusing, so posted it. On behalf of the original author, I apologize to you Merlina for being such an insensitive fuckstick.
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2005-01-17 12:03:57 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by jgreening (user info) at 2005-01-17 12:01:53 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
-2howdoicounttheways
-2shitty
-2Donkeys was better
-2getting so god damn defensive about a post.
-2because i fucking feel like it.
Submitted by Merlina (user info) at 2005-01-17 12:01:12 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
wtf?? no I didn't miss #7.
I meant try your own. Then you won't think its like cream.
God this is hard work.
Submitted by ACIDTRIP (user info) at 2005-01-17 11:57:38 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Merlina, obviously you skipped #7 (7. You bitch about the taste, but trust me when I tell you that we get the short end of the stick in flavor country). Fucktard.
Submitted by Merlina (user info) at 2005-01-17 11:54:24 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
teaspoon full of cream?!?!!
look mister if it tasted anything like cream I wouldn't be able to DO anything else. My mouth would be permantly attached .
But it doesn't.
It tastes like snotty salt.
Try some yourself fuckstick.
Submitted by TigerLilly (user info) at 2005-01-17 11:48:51 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
"7. You bitch about the taste, but trust me when I tell you that we get the short end of the stick in flavor country. "
Then learn how to suck it yourself.
Submitted by GodLovesALittleLovin (user info) at 2005-01-17 11:47:38 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by mazman23 (user info) at 2005-01-17 11:42:08 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
This guy likes his blow jobs!
http://www.ubersite.com/m/56905
Submitted by ACIDTRIP (user info) at 2005-01-17 11:41:33 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I figured it probably did, but saw it the first time today.
Submitted by Sassmasterr (user info) at 2005-01-17 11:40:44 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
i've actually never seen this one...
i could use #7...he'd appreciate that
what?
Submitted by DeathJester (user info) at 2005-01-17 11:37:54 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Please... This did the rounds 3 years ago.