Work Notice (743 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 1.5 on 5 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Meat <blanchfor.at.kitty-hawk.navy.mil> (View user info) at 2003-08-18 02:21:42 EDT
I wrote this a long time ago when our "management" threw all of our possesions onto the floor and told us they wouldn't let us live like animals. How ironic, for they only managed to reniforce the cage they had built around us. I'm so fucking domesticated. How are you?
{{{
Attention:
(In the following notice there are many grammar and spelling errors. Ignore them if you can.)
-Because of recent events all employees are hereby refrained from leaving out any personal items in the work center. Reason being; you are all filthy, digusting, neanderthals. The management has decided that they will confinscate and dispose of all personal objects left out from this day forward. The management, however is allowed to keep personal items out in thier workspace. As always, you will clean this workspace for them as well as your own. This is the right thing, it has been justified in rulings and traditions long before you arrived here. Any one who objects shall immediately be sujected to displinary action because no quitting of the job is allowed. The charge shall be mutiny. Also, if the management is in a bad mood; you will be subjected to harassment regardless of how well you are doing on the job. In short, the atmosphere of your workspace is dependent on the mood of the management. Although in reality you have done nothing wrong (all tasks are being completed as required; efficently as possible), the management reagards you as mindless robots and expects you to act accordingly. Hence, something that is not a problem now will become a problem when the management needs a reason to attack your character. If you were to act as the management deems you are, there is a high possiblity true problems may arise. For example:
Leave out candy wrappers and such rubbage with the following notes attached to them:
Got ya!
Keep Trying!!
Good Job!
There's more where this came from!
You can't conform me!
(Insert co-worker name) was here!
etc.
-After finding these little presents the management should become infuraited after finding out what it is really like to have bad workers. You will probably be severely punished (the entire workcenter), however know that this is the management's only way of showing you who is in control. If it were now 200 years in the past, you would probably be beaten/flogged. This is nothing more than human nature, of course. The mangement has no idea that they are slowly being wasted away though, for you have not yet let your co-workers in on the game. If they keep telling you that you are worthless and never leave you be why leave them be? It's fun to play, and fun boots morale.
-Now that the management is running around trying to find out who is mocking them, it is the perfect chance to show them what it's like to have disfunctional employees. You know, it's what they make you out to be, and since they know best, isn't that what you should be? Since personal objects can no longer be left out in the space you work and do your business of keeping the customers happy, you can now have fun with your co-workers. When no one is looking, snatch an object (preferrably expensive) out of a co-worker's drawer. Place it somewhere you know the management is going to look. When they find it, they will throw it away! After your co-worker becomes infuraited he will find out the management threw it away and it will be so funny! Laugh as the co-worker explains to the management that the object was in his drawer the whole time and chuckle silently as they figure out someone in the workspace framed the co-worker! After these events transpire, you will more than likely be subjected to extreme torture because the management will have absoulutely no idea what to do. The only thing they know is dicipline; however, their slow and painful process of breaking you down and trying to make you conform over the years has made you stronger than they can possibly imagine. Nothing they will do should stop you from realizing you have beat the management at thier own game.
More Fun Stuff:
When you are about to get off your workshift, walk into the passageway. Wait until no one is around and dump out the trash in passageway trash container on the floor and run away. The opposing workshit will be so pissed! You can laugh and masterbate if you want to. It may seem wrong to attack the co-workers, but the actions of co-workers directly effects the way everyone sees the management. There are casualites in war. In the end you will all laugh togther.
Purposely tamper with someones bed to make it unsatisfactory. The victim will be stunned, the management angry, and you happy!
- You know where to go from here. And thus the only way to boost morale has been revealed. As I have said before, it is time we start acting like the animals we are thought of as. We can no longer give 90-100% and get 5% in return. We must make an even trade, even if it kills us. Amen.
}}}
I wish I had the ballz to do some of these things mang.
User Reviews
Submitted by yes at 2003-08-21 22:36:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
jesus, who uses the big tag?
Submitted by Insanethemind (user info) at 2003-08-18 09:09:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Nice, Meat.
Submitted by PopNFresh (user info) at 2003-08-18 04:27:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Drink whats up with your site?
Ballz
Submitted by drink_DDT (user info) at 2003-08-18 03:39:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
ballz.
Check this out: http://www.drinkddt.com
Submitted by Hairsphincter (user info) at 2003-08-18 02:23:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
"You can laugh and masterbate if you want to."