Fun With Real E-Mail (19091 hits)
Category: NoneLabels: fun_with_real_e-mail
Rating: 1.8 on 69 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Tom Sorrell (View user info) at 2005-01-18 16:37:46 EST
Last week, I posted an e-mail exchange between a coworker and me, and it went over quite well. Because of this, I thought I'd go ahead and post other e-mail conversations I've had with people here at work. For entertainment's sake, I actually went out of my way on some of them to be weird and see what each person would do. If this goes over well, I might turn it into a running series.
(Please note, all of these e-mails are from today and Friday and the none of the e-mail have been edited.)
That said, let's get down to it.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
FUN WITH REAL E-MAIL.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
From: Linda
To: Tom Sorrell
Subject: Fax
Tom, did that fax I brought down go thru yet?
--
From: Tom Sorrell
To: Linda
Subject: Subject: The Lord of the Fax, Part II: The Two Pages
In our last episode (LOTF, Part I - The Fellowship of the Fax), Linda the Blonde, a wise Sales Assistant, walked down to the cage of doom and attempted to send a fax. When the fax would not go, Linda received help from Barb-o the Old, and Thomas Sorodo, a young wire hobbit. After several tries, the fax still did not go through.
Linda, having quite a bit of work to do, had to retreat back to her desk, while Barb-o the Old made a trip to the bathroom, thus the fellowship was broken. The task now rests solely in the hands of Thomas Sorodo. It is his duty to see that the two pages of the fax make it safely to the good people on the other end.
Along the way, he will face many perils, including the ops manager, the fax machine itself, and the busy phone lines of the receivers.
The quest he has undertaken will be long and perilous, but he will prevail. The fate of Middle Building depends on it.
Coming soon: The Lord of the Fax, Part III: The Return of the Fax (...to Linda because it transmitted successfully.)
--
From: Linda
To: Tom Sorrell
Subject: LOL!!!!!!!!!!
Your crazy!! lol!!!!!!!!!!!
--
From: Tom Sorrell
To: Linda
Subject: re: LOL!!!!!!!!!!
LOL!!!!!!1 Liek, I know111111111!
--
From: Linda
To: Tom Sorrell
Subject: re: LOL!!!!!!!!!!
HAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
u mispelled LIKE!!!!!!!!!
--
From: Tom Sorrell
To: Linda
Subject: re: LOL!!!!!!!!!!
OOOPS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I guess that means I'm stupid, huh?
--
From: Linda
To: Tom Sorrell
Subject: re: LOL!!!!!!!!!!
ya!!!!!!!! lol!!!!!!
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From: Kelly
To: Tom Sorrell
Subject: scanning
Tom, did you scan in the documents I dropped off yet?
--
From: Tom Sorrell
To: Kelly
Subject: re: scanning
For sooth, m'lady, I am but a mere squire and have yet to scan this fine morrow. However, me-thinks thou shalt havest thine documents scanned by the setting of the sun today. HUZZAH!!
--
From: Kelly
To: Tom Sorrell
subject: re: scanning
... thank you
If I bring yuo some more thnigs to scan today, could you get it done?
--
From: Tom Sorrell
To: Kelly
Subject: re: scanning
Make haste, else the scanning shall not get done this fine day and will sit in the scan box for a fortnight.
--
From: Kelly
To: Tom Sorrell
Subject: re: scanning
Are you high?
--
From: Tom Sorrell
To: Kelly
Subject:
Sadly, no.
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From: Brian ----> The Big Boss (cool as hell)
To: Tom Sorrell
Subject: Tom...
Why didn't you shave today?
--
From: Tom Sorrell
To: Brian
Subject: re: Tom
Because I'm sick of the gnomes...
--
From: Brian
To: Tom Sorrell
subject: re: Tom
What? Gnomes?
--
From: Tom Sorrell
To: Brian
Subject: re: Tom
The gnomes that live in the storage room. Every time I go back there, they bum rush me and pin me to the ground. Then each of them take turns rubbing my face and telling me how smooth it is. When I don't shave, they leave me alone.
--
From: Brian
To: Tom Sorrell
Subject: re: Tom
Is that all they touch?
--
From: Tom Sorrell
To: Brian
Subject: re: Tom
That's between the gnomes and me.
--
From: Brian
To: Tom Sorrell
Subject: re: Tom
Go home at lunch and shave.
Before you leave, bring me the key to the storage room. I need some supplies....
User Reviews
Submitted by BobSandwich (user info) at 2008-07-18 14:50:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by loan_officer (user info) at 2008-03-30 13:04:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by experima (user info) at 2007-02-27 22:10:54 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Stagger_Lee (user info) at 2006-04-04 23:01:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Hehehhe.
Submitted by williamson (user info) at 2005-04-07 05:21:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
This'll never catch on.
Submitted by RenTheUnsightly (user info) at 2005-04-07 05:00:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
its 5am and this rocks. Real life is soo much awesomer than fiction
Submitted by urbaneruralite (user info) at 2005-02-20 20:42:04 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Deidra (user info) at 2005-02-18 17:32:37 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Gnome (user info) at 2005-02-17 14:32:13 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
+2 for Gnomes.
and, yes, i might be a little biased here.
Submitted by Obi-wan (user info) at 2005-02-14 16:10:40 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Gnomes = +2
Submitted by DamienX (user info) at 2005-02-14 15:00:53 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I'm going back and catching up on this series that I missed until
your post today (2-14-05), and trying to figure out how to turn it into
a mini-series or after-school-special.
Submitted by Gollman (user info) at 2005-02-14 13:34:49 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
insanely hilarious
Submitted by Over_There (user info) at 2005-02-11 10:28:09 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Dear god that was awesome
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2005-01-29 01:04:01 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Ed_0150 (user info) at 2005-01-26 18:49:40 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by dethcow (user info) at 2005-01-26 16:50:38 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by MisterOCD (user info) at 2005-01-26 04:49:09 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
This is a fucking classic! Whatever makes me giggle like a 13 year old schoolgirl who sees a penis for the first gets a +2. Problem is, my coworkers are gonna start to wonder how the fuck I can laugh when writing boring documentation...
Submitted by DeathJester (user info) at 2005-01-25 06:18:04 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Hahahahaha!
Submitted by beer-turtle (user info) at 2005-01-25 02:31:56 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
your boss is pretty cool
-Brian
Submitted by bart (user info) at 2005-01-24 01:41:53 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by CJRipley (user info) at 2005-01-20 12:53:40 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by G-prime (user info) at 2005-01-19 15:55:57 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Submitted by Kent_Weirdo (user info) at 2005-01-19 05:18:59 (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by ssj4yamcha (user info) at 2005-01-19 05:06:12 (#)
Ranking: -2
methinks you dress up like gandalf the grey on mondays, and like the fucking retarded kid that you are the rest of the week.
I assume you work at the dungeons and dragons wing of a toystore?
Which one are you, the skinny acne-ridden kid with the long frizzy hair in a pony tail and glasses? or the fat acne-ridden kid with the long frizzy hair in a pony tail and glasses?
Either way, you're a loser and will never have sex.
Unless it's with a gnome.
---
...Oh, Jesus Christ, am I hearing this shit right? This shit, coming from a cocksucking fag with a Dragon Ball character's name as his handle? What a fuck-bottle.
-----------
That's right! And Yamcha isn't even a Sayen, so how could he be ssj4??? Fucktard...
Submitted by jack11058 (user info) at 2005-01-19 15:22:33 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
ha
Submitted by xenon (user info) at 2005-01-19 14:01:50 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
FORSOOTH and FORTNIGHT...two of the most underused and underrated in the middle English language
Submitted by Zandy1123 (user info) at 2005-01-19 13:22:57 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
funny funny
Submitted by domenad (user info) at 2005-01-19 13:01:46 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
From: Brian ----> The Big Boss (cool as hell)
To: Tom Sorrell
Subject: Tom...
Why didn't you shave today?
--
From: Tom Sorrell
To: Brian
Subject: re: Tom
Because I'm sick of the gnomes...
---------
So funny I ....uh.....
<ejaculates>
Submitted by TabathaS. (user info) at 2005-01-19 13:00:27 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by c1ndy (user info) at 2005-01-19 12:44:07 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
LOL !!!!11111oneone11!!!
Submitted by JohnGalt (user info) at 2005-01-19 12:37:23 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Tigre (user info) at 2005-01-19 12:31:43 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
BWAAAAAAAHHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!
Submitted by Rawrg (user info) at 2005-01-19 09:10:31 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I love the last one. So like, if you shave your crotch will the Gnomes rub that too?
Submitted by BuckeyesTHEGAME (user info) at 2005-01-19 08:52:04 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
FYI:
Part 2 is in the works...
Submitted by BLITZKREIG_BOB (user info) at 2005-01-19 08:09:24 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
You need to start dressing like you're at a rennaisance faire. That would be most excellent.
Submitted by Kent_Weirdo (user info) at 2005-01-19 05:18:59 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by ssj4yamcha (user info) at 2005-01-19 05:06:12 (#)
Ranking: -2
methinks you dress up like gandalf the grey on mondays, and like the fucking retarded kid that you are the rest of the week.
I assume you work at the dungeons and dragons wing of a toystore?
Which one are you, the skinny acne-ridden kid with the long frizzy hair in a pony tail and glasses? or the fat acne-ridden kid with the long frizzy hair in a pony tail and glasses?
Either way, you're a loser and will never have sex.
Unless it's with a gnome.
---
...Oh, Jesus Christ, am I hearing this shit right? This shit, coming from a cocksucking fag with a Dragon Ball character's name as his handle? What a fuck-bottle.
Submitted by ssj4yamcha (user info) at 2005-01-19 05:06:12 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
methinks you dress up like gandalf the grey on mondays, and like the fucking retarded kid that you are the rest of the week.
I assume you work at the dungeons and dragons wing of a toystore?
Which one are you, the skinny acne-ridden kid with the long frizzy hair in a pony tail and glasses? or the fat acne-ridden kid with the long frizzy hair in a pony tail and glasses?
Either way, you're a loser and will never have sex.
Unless it's with a gnome.
Submitted by Babel (user info) at 2005-01-19 03:29:39 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
LOL !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
sWOON
Submitted by seanfogy (user info) at 2005-01-19 03:14:26 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
From: Tom Sorrell
To: Kelly
Subject: re: scanning
Make haste, else the scanning shall not get done this fine day and will sit in the scan box for a fortnight.
this is the best thing i've ever read. i wish i could thing of stuff like this.
Submitted by Blitzen (user info) at 2005-01-18 22:28:54 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
i want to work with you
Submitted by switters (user info) at 2005-01-18 19:50:58 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
No Comment
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2005-01-18 18:27:54 EST (#)
Ranking: -1
Sounds like there's some gay shenanigans going on between your boss and yourself. Which comes as no surprise to this neutral observer.
Submitted by BuckeyesTHEGAME (user info) at 2005-01-18 18:10:46 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Of course the boss notices when I don't shave... I'm a fucking wookie.
Submitted by AwesomeJohnson (user info) at 2005-01-18 18:00:54 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
thanks, dude. this was awesome.
Submitted by engine13 (user info) at 2005-01-18 17:46:33 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Pretty good.
Submitted by HadToBeDone (user info) at 2005-01-18 17:34:06 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Your boss notices when you don't shave? It took my boss most of a week to notice I was on vacation....
Submitted by LadyPlural (user info) at 2005-01-18 17:24:47 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by FunnyAsCancer (user info) at 2005-01-18 16:49:40 (#)
Ranking: 2
You know, I honestly think this makes you the gheyest person alive. You've got all the key elements:
Annoying e-mail rehashing
Fruity Olde England talk
Gnome Sex
A nerd-like Lord of the Ring quality
And an overabundance of "liek" and "LOL"
*Shun*
Yep.
Submitted by bossk (user info) at 2005-01-18 17:24:20 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I liked the one about scanning. Kelly was a perfect straight-man. Bein' all serious and shit.
Submitted by Saxon (user info) at 2005-01-18 17:23:02 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
I cant beleive how easily amused i am.
Submitted by EbolaMay (user info) at 2005-01-18 17:20:59 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Dude, you are the Achilles of E-mail.
Submitted by BuckeyesTHEGAME (user info) at 2005-01-18 17:20:26 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Submitted by screamfeeder (user info) at 2005-01-18 17:18:48 (#)
Ranking: 2
Tom. Seriously, stop writting this shit and scan my documents.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
You mean it's not done yet!?
I told you that damned squirrel was unreliable.
Submitted by MrCoffee (user info) at 2005-01-18 17:20:15 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
thats fucking great
Submitted by screamfeeder (user info) at 2005-01-18 17:18:48 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Tom. Seriously, stop writting this shit and scan my documents.
Submitted by BuckeyesTHEGAME (user info) at 2005-01-18 17:14:23 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by MandaPanda (user info) at 2005-01-18 17:02:23 (#)
Ranking: 2
I love these!
Now go back to that post about the MP3 file of you on the radio show and respond, damnit.
---------------
done
Submitted by BuckeyesTHEGAME (user info) at 2005-01-18 17:11:12 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Sideburns, I'm just not as funny as you, nor will I ever be. It's simple numbers...
4105 > 4104
See? There's nothing I can do.
Submitted by Sideburns (user info) at 2005-01-18 17:06:54 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Not as good as my "Fun with fake email" post.
Submitted by Disektor (user info) at 2005-01-18 17:05:11 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by FunnyAsCancer (user info) at 2005-01-18 17:03:02 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Sorry, Tom, still ghey.
But don't worry, you're ghey, not gay.
Submitted by MandaPanda (user info) at 2005-01-18 17:02:23 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I love these!
Now go back to that post about the MP3 file of you on the radio show and respond, damnit.
Submitted by BuckeyesTHEGAME (user info) at 2005-01-18 16:59:25 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
ghey?
The gnomes are asexual... they have no genitalia.
still ghey?
Submitted by GodLovesALittleLovin (user info) at 2005-01-18 16:59:06 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
excellent
Submitted by jgreening (user info) at 2005-01-18 16:57:44 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
BAAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHA
Gold!
Submitted by L-Gizzle (user info) at 2005-01-18 16:53:07 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
i wish people at my work were that cool
Submitted by FunnyAsCancer (user info) at 2005-01-18 16:49:40 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
You know, I honestly think this makes you the gheyest person alive. You've got all the key elements:
Annoying e-mail rehashing
Fruity Olde England talk
Gnome Sex
A nerd-like Lord of the Ring quality
And an overabundance of "liek" and "LOL"
*Shun*
Submitted by satchel (user info) at 2005-01-18 16:47:12 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
gnomes!
Submitted by earth_collapse (user info) at 2005-01-18 16:47:05 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Haha, halarious.
Submitted by Falconer (user info) at 2005-01-18 16:45:53 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Hilarious.
Submitted by AshK (user info) at 2005-01-18 16:44:52 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I want your boss.
Not in a gnomish sort of way, more in the "why the hell can't I have a boss like that?" sort of way.
Submitted by ess-arr (user info) at 2005-01-18 16:42:56 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Is it OKay if I steal some ideas...gold!
Submitted by zakalwe (user info) at 2005-01-18 16:42:08 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
the fuck?
Submitted by runninginplace (user info) at 2005-01-18 16:40:50 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
gnomes?