Unlife in the Suburbs: Part 10 (807 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 2 on 25 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Impassive-Digressive (View user info) at 2005-01-18 21:25:35 EST
Part 1: http://www.ubersite.com/m/52429
Part 2: http://www.ubersite.com/m/52527
Part 3: http://www.ubersite.com/m/52869
Part 4: http://www.ubersite.com/m/53072
Part 5: http://www.ubersite.com/m/53290
Part 6: http://www.ubersite.com/m/53957
Part 7: http://www.ubersite.com/m/54549
Part 8: http://www.ubersite.com/m/55003
Part 9: http://www.ubersite.com/m/55357
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A silver thumbnail moon loiters above the horizon as we climb out of the Skoda. The Abbey is about ten miles away - a fair jog. I was tempted for us to drive a little closer, but I don't want to underestimate Chalmers' mental abilities. If he senses Laszlo before there is a bullet hurtling towards him, the situation will rapidly become dangerous - especially for me.
Laszlo removes the rifle from the back seat, and sets about loading it. Without looking up from the gun he speaks.
"Are you sure you want to do this?"
I pause, which bothers me slightly; I value the fact that I usually have strong convictions. "I'm sure." I nod, a little unclear on whom I am attempting to reassure.
"I will give you a one-hour head start. Try your best to lure him near a window."
I lean over and kiss him on the cheek.
"You try your best to go unnoticed. I'll see you soon."
With that, I button my coat and break off into a fast jog - impossibly fast by human standards - whilst trying to find the right frame of mind for seducing an utterly abhorrent, but nonetheless powerful vampire. If only I could employ an ages-old human technique and get the man drunk. Alas, alcohol is just one of many poisons that the vampiric body is impervious to.
I think I am going to have to revert to my usual combination of revealing clothing, soft husky voice and the most devastatingly effective 'fuck-me' eyes Europe has known in recent centuries. I glance down at my chest, beneath my coat my breasts are bouncing as I run, surely not even Chalmers' could say 'no' to those.
I figure that I will have about half an hour to get my seductive swerve on before Laz comes within firing range. The longer he sits outside cradling the rifle, the greater the probability his presence will be sensed. My thoughts drift; perhaps I should've brought a gift to distract him. I think about the two Slovakian hitchhikers we left cold and drained in a roadside ditch during the drive out here - one of them would've been a sufficient offering. I could go back and try to find another hitchhiker, but I push the idea from my mind. This is up to me. No man I have wanted has been able to resist me yet and - unliving or not - this Scottish bastard isn't about to break my winning streak.
After a while spent alone with the rushing wind, the ancient conifers and my thoughts, I sense Chalmers in the distance - in the Abbey. Unlike Laszlo's approach, I will make no effort to conceal myself. It is not long before I can see the building in the distance, yellow light flowing from its open windows into the darkened forest - I can make out a figure at one of the windows as well. It is him. I try as best I can to suppress the mixture of nostalgia I am feeling seeing my old home again, and the pang of anger that rises when I think about the circumstances that led to my eviction, and Chalmers' subsequent occupation.
I shunt these thoughts from my mind and slow my advance to a brisk stroll. As I move through the rambling gardens - which appear unmaintained since my departure - the front door swings open, and a tall figure stands, waiting for me.
It would be somewhat unfair to call Chalmers an ugly man. Ugly vampires are uncommon things to chance upon, a fact we can attribute to the power in our veins. We are not marred by permanent blemishes, scarring or corpulence, nor do we age; judging from his appearance, Chalmers is perpetually trapped in his early thirties. Pale skin, russet hair, ice-blue eyes and a square jaw line greet me. His tall, slim frame, clad in a designer suit, moves with the typical grace of our kind as he closes the door behind me.
If only he wasn't such an arrogant, pig-headed, scum-sucking, deranged pimple-on-the-backside-of-creation I could probably enjoy this experience.
"Well, if it isn't little Danika." He turns and smiles at me, gesturing at the walls. "Nice place you used to have here." He chuckles. The bastard actually chuckles at me.
"Funny you should mention that," I reply, doing my level best not to immediately go for his throat "I wanted to have a little chat to you about this place."
"But of course you did, pet. Come into the lounge." Pet? He just called me 'pet'? Somehow it sounds even worse in his odd Scottish accent.
Regardless of the continuing offense his very existence is bringing me, I oblige and take a seat on my old couch. Before he can open his gob again, I begin.
"I understand that my actions in the past may have offended you." I say it levelly, avoiding his gaze by staring into the fireplace, watching the flames dance.
"Oh aye, you could say that. You were particularly hostile and rude when last we did meet."
"And it appears to have cost me." I add. "Which is why I would like to apologize for my actions."
"Oh, I see." He replies, disinterestedly. He is too busy staring at me, no doubt trying to break into my mind and figure out what is going on. Unfortunately for him, that is something I will not allow.
"Naturally, I have no, and want no part in the quarrel between yourself and Laszlo. I would like to point out, however, that he has never had any claim to ownership of this property."
"All the same, dear, I couldn't find him to punish him for what he did. However, I knew of your relationship to him, so taking this land was the only fair way the pair of you could atone for your collective offences against me."
"I disagree. I can think of a far better way for me to make it up to you."
"Really?" He asks. "And just what would that be?"
I shed my coat, exposing a small midriff top and an abundance of bare skin. I lower my voice, and return Chalmers' stare with a look of desire capable of inducing seizures in mortal men. I lean towards him, baring as much cleavage as I am able.
"I think you can guess."
User Reviews
Submitted by Shaun_Rocks (user info) at 2005-03-28 23:21:18 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
So much awesome...
Write a book, and then when you finish that...write three more
Submitted by wookie (user info) at 2005-01-25 10:04:58 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Impassive-Digressive (user info) at 2005-01-20 08:21:23 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by SonnenKinder (user info) at 2005-01-20 04:59:53 (#)
Ranking: 2
Awesome! Being new to Uber I only stumbled across this, glad that I did now, only problem is, I'm wasting more of my supposed "productive work time" going back & reading the series from the beginning.
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Don't worry about it! I spend my "productive work time" writing this stuff!
Submitted by SonnenKinder (user info) at 2005-01-20 04:59:53 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Awesome! Being new to Uber I only stumbled across this, glad that I did now, only problem is, I'm wasting more of my supposed "productive work time" going back & reading the series from the beginning.
Submitted by Impassive-Digressive (user info) at 2005-01-19 20:33:58 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Well, I have started writing the Part 11. It is shaping up to be a little saucy...
Submitted by FuckTheArmy (user info) at 2005-01-19 18:31:53 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Don't bother with a tame version; I know it will still be quality but it will go unread.
Submitted by Impassive-Digressive (user info) at 2005-01-19 18:25:27 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Well, jgreening is now my offical PR guy - thanks for the Uberboarding.
More thanks for all the positive feedback everyone, it's awesome to see that people enjoy reading my work.
Submitted by Davros (user info) at 2005-01-19 17:00:28 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by jgreening (user info) at 2005-01-19 14:15:05 (#)
Ranking: 2
Yes... I misspelled impressed...
The line to slap me starts to the right...
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Put me in first place.
-Dave
Submitted by jgreening (user info) at 2005-01-19 14:15:05 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Yes... I misspelled impressed...
The line to slap me starts to the right...
Submitted by engine13 (user info) at 2005-01-19 13:29:30 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
This is a great series. And the possibility of vampire erotica, can't get any better than that.
Submitted by the_mysterious_stranger (user info) at 2005-01-19 13:19:22 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Good thing this is on Uberboard, wouldn't have noticed it otherwise.
Submitted by Yes (user info) at 2005-01-19 11:48:13 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
very inpressive
Submitted by jgreening (user info) at 2005-01-19 11:23:32 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
GLALL, I've been trying to pimp out this series since #2.
It's really some of the best writing I've seen in a long time, and I not only read Uber a lot, but a lot of books as well.
Together, with a little more fleshing out (pardon the pun) this would make a very good short book.
And yes, I'm throwing THIS one on Uberboard, too. And I will for every new one, damnit.
Submitted by AshK (user info) at 2005-01-19 11:08:08 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I need a cold shower.
I am very exited to hear you describe Danika's nipples. Truly.
hurry.
Submitted by Davros (user info) at 2005-01-19 03:42:38 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Great stuff.
Still one of the best series on Uber.
-Dave
Submitted by GodLovesALittleLovin (user info) at 2005-01-19 00:49:53 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Wow. I feel incredibly, like, horrible for not reading these, I mean I thought it was about housewives or something. How the fuck was I supposed to know it was about vampires Impassive? Now I have to go back and catch up
Submitted by thecaes (user info) at 2005-01-19 00:45:27 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
This is one of my favourite series on Uber.
Bring on the vampire porn.
bow-chicka-bah-wah-ah-ah
Submitted by Impassive-Digressive (user info) at 2005-01-18 23:58:16 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Well, after a few weeks off, as promised I got part 10 done. Glad you guys liked it. There will probably only be one or two instalments left, so stay tuned for the (possibly) exciting finale!
After some of those replies, I am half tempted to do two versions of Part 11; a tame one, and a 'too hot for TV!' vampire erotica post. I'll wait and see how much time I have on my hands...
Seriously though, I know you all want to hear me describing Danika's nipples.
Submitted by Saxon (user info) at 2005-01-18 23:02:39 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Tantalizingly Titilating........
Submitted by screamfeeder (user info) at 2005-01-18 22:54:29 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by FunnyAsCancer (user info) at 2005-01-18 22:00:43 (#)
Ranking: 2
Watch out, vampire-babe! He's got a stake in his pants!
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HAHAHAHAhAhAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
Submitted by FunnyAsCancer (user info) at 2005-01-18 22:00:43 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Watch out, vampire-babe! He's got a stake in his pants!
Submitted by QueenSkye (user info) at 2005-01-18 21:56:33 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
earlier today I was wondering when the next in this series would be here and I come back and here it is!
Submitted by Chinaski (user info) at 2005-01-18 21:47:20 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
so bomb. i ate my own testicle- TWICE. That's how savage espn is.
Submitted by Remission (user info) at 2005-01-18 21:46:41 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Love this series.
Submitted by Umbilical_Cord (user info) at 2005-01-18 21:40:41 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Vampirotic