If You Like Cake, I am Going to Murder You ( Also Electro's House got Robbed. He may be Dead. Mexicans did it. Fred Meyers Was a Witness) (1156 hits)
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Rating: 1.23 on 38 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Habeeb Thomas PHD. (View user info) at 2005-01-19 11:36:40 EST
It's true.
The song No Phone proves it.
If you like Cake, I am going to murder you.
On the other hand, if you like cake, lets party.
Here are the lyrics to No Phone
-----------------------------
No phone No phone I just want to be alone today
No phone no phone
Ringing stinging
Jerking like a nervous bird
Rattling up against his cage
Calls to me thoughout the day
See the feathers fly
No phone No phone I just want to be alone today
No phone No phone
No phone no phone I just want to be alone today
Rhyming chiming got me working all the time
Gives me such a worried mind
Now I don't want to seem unkind
But god (it's such a crime)
No phone No phone I just want to be alone today
No phone no phone
No phone No phone I just want to be alone today
No phone no phone
Shaking quaking
Waking me when I'm asleep
Never lets me go too deep
Summons me with just one beep
The price we pay is steep
I've been on fire
And yet I've still stayed frozen
So deep in the night
My smooth contemplations will always be broken
My deepest concerns will stay buried and unspoken
No I don't have any change but here's a few subway tokens
No phone No phone I just want to be alone today
No phone No phone
No phone no phone I just want to be alone today
No phone no phone
No phone No phone I just want to be alone today
No phone No phone
-----------------------------------------------
WEAK AND GAY
I mean, unless you are into that shit. Sure phones are a hassle, but that doesn't mean we have to write crappy songs about them and how they ruin our life and make us sad. The guy who wrote this song is probably 102 lbs soaking wet and is afraid of parakeets. Who cares how the phone affects him in his daily life.
"Do dee do, here I am, the lead singer of Cake, writing emo poems and sipping latte and enjo.. RIIIINNNNNNNNNNGGGG RIIIIIIIINNNNGGGGGG... OMG THE PHONE, my day is ruined. (weeps)"
Fuck that queer. I also like the last few lines:
----------------------------------------------------
I've been on fire
And yet I've still stayed frozen
So deep in the night
My smooth contemplations will always be broken
My deepest concerns will stay buried and unspoken
No I don't have any change but here's a few subway tokens
--------------
HEY FUCK YOU FAGGOT
Why do your deep thought have to manifest themselves into giving money to a bum??? Huh? That bum would whoop your ass, Fag. In fact, I think the lead singer of Cake may be a woman. I do not know, nor do i wish to. I will assume that this is true based on the song No Phone
Now lets look at another Cake song, She'll Hang the Baskets on the Wall (Trembles in fear and awe)
-------------
She'll hang the baskets on the walls
Don't you know I've seen it all before?
She'll hang the baskets on the walls
But I've seen it all before heard the slamming of the door
Come summer come fall come winter
There'll be baskets on the floor
He'll go to buy her turtle wax but in his mind he won't be coming back
She'll hang the baskets on the walls
But I've seen it all before heard the slamming of the door
Come summer come fall come winter
There'll be baskets on the floor
But I've seen it all before heard the slamming of the door
Come summer come fall come winter
There'll be baskets on the floor
She'll hang the baskets on the wall
She'll hang the baskets on the wall
------------------------------------------
On man, that song is just filled with anger and manly-ness
Jesus Christ...
I surveyed some of my fellow Uberers about thier feelings toward Cake.
Here is what they said...
--------------------------------
HogMan650: do you like Cake
polyamorousguyaj: yes
HogMan650: ...
HogMan650: i see
polyamorousguyaj: do you mean the band or the food?
HogMan650: the band
HogMan650: the food is a given
polyamorousguyaj: They're alright
HogMan650: -2 die
HogMan650: that is all
polyamorousguyaj: fuck you
---------------------------------------
HogMan650: Do you like Cake
ubersublime: yes
HogMan650: I see
HogMan650: -2 die
ubersublime: wait
ubersublime: do you mean the band?
ubersublime: or the food?
HogMan650: The band
ubersublime: oh, i heard that one song of theres
ubersublime: short suit and a long jacket
ubersublime: other than that i haven't heard anything
HogMan650: did it engayen you
ubersublime: i didn't really think about it
HogMan650: i see
-----------------------------------------
HogMan650: Do you like Cake?
yewslus: The band or the food?
HogMan650: the band
yewslus: not my favorite
HogMan650: good good
yewslus: but ok nonetheless
HogMan650: wait what
HogMan650: -2 die
yewslus: heh
HogMan650: good day
-----------------------------------
HogMan650: Do you like Cake?
Uber John Galt: yes
HogMan650: i see
HogMan650: and are you a homosexual
HogMan650: from your lack of response i will assume yes
HogMan650: thanks for you help
----------------------------------------------
HogMan650: Do you like Cake?
HogMan650: do you?
HogMan650: please answer, it's for a survey
electro1178: I am not answering your questions man, I am too fuckin pissed right now
HogMan650: oh come on
HogMan650: i mean Cake the band
HogMan650: not the food
HogMan650: we all like the food
electro1178: I said, I am pissed...
HogMan650: yeah thats super
HogMan650: a simple yes or no will suffice
electro1178: because yesterday, someone broke into the house...
HogMan650: oh dear
HogMan650: at least they didn't take your computer
electro1178: no but they got my state id
electro1178: they got my empty wallet with it..
HogMan650: HOW WILL YOU BOARD A PLANE???
electro1178: they got my brother wallet and charged the shit outa it...
HogMan650: don't you have a drivers license
electro1178: they stole my dads digital camera...
electro1178: no
HogMan650: i see
HogMan650: well
electro1178: oh and they stole my parents car...
HogMan650: insurance will cover that
HogMan650: so
electro1178: and stole stuff from my brothers car...
HogMan650: what kinda car
electro1178: and stole clothes..
HogMan650: no tv's or nothing
electro1178: it was a random burglar or somethin
electro1178: because we didnt hear them
HogMan650: man these thiefs were lame
electro1178: but they got ids
HogMan650: you were in the house?
electro1178: (ID THEFT)
electro1178: Yep
electro1178: it happened between 3am-7am
HogMan650: and you did not heare them...
electro1178: everyone was alseep
electro1178: no one did
HogMan650: do you live in a mansion
electro1178: they were brave fuckers...
electro1178: no
HogMan650: wow
electro1178: but they wont be coming back...
HogMan650: why
electro1178: my brother got a nice shooter and plus, they might have been seen on fred meyer cameras...
electro1178: hopefully we can catch them fuckers...
electro1178: we think it may be mexicans...
electro1178: after all, they stole my parents honda no more than 3-4 months ago...
HogMan650: wow that was all very random
electro1178: yes
HogMan650: back up the boat
HogMan650: what is a nice shooter
HogMan650: and who is fred meyers
electro1178: Fred Meyers is a store
electro1178: Nice Shooter = weapon
electro1178: gun
HogMan650: ok
HogMan650: damn the mexicans
HogMan650: well
HogMan650: good luck with the thiefs
HogMan650: So...
HogMan650: Do you like Cake
HogMan650: ...
Previous message was not received by electro1178 because of error: User electro1178 is not available.
--------------------------------------------------
Fuck Cake
GO GUNS N ROSES WOO!!!
User Reviews
Submitted by BubbaEarl (user info) at 2007-05-05 13:54:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
heh
Submitted by darko (user info) at 2007-05-05 13:50:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Spooner (user info) at 2007-05-05 13:42:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Incorrect.
HogMan650: Do you like Cake?
Uber John Galt: yes
HogMan650: i see
HogMan650: and are you a homosexual
HogMan650: from your lack of response i will assume yes
HogMan650: thanks for you help
Submitted by Spooner (user info) at 2007-05-05 13:42:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Incorrect.
Submitted by darko (user info) at 2007-05-05 13:35:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2007-04-17 12:09:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
JEFFREY FUCKING WELLMAN IS MY HERO
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2007-04-17 11:54:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
HogMan650: Do you like Cake?
Uber John Galt: yes
HogMan650: i see
HogMan650: and are you a homosexual
HogMan650: from your lack of response i will assume yes
HogMan650: thanks for you help
hahaha
Submitted by BLITZKREIG_BOB (user info) at 2007-04-17 11:31:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
This is pretty funny.
Submitted by Rope (user info) at 2005-08-28 16:26:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
pffffhhahahahahahaha
Submitted by ScottMaximus (user info) at 2005-03-21 19:31:37 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
the words "the mexicans did it" is instantly laughable.
Submitted by polyamorousaj (user info) at 2005-01-21 23:21:50 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
How did I not +2 this?
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2005-01-20 20:05:08 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
He's going the distance...
Submitted by DanielH (user info) at 2005-01-19 23:02:36 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Cake is way gay, but still, sheep go to heaven, goats go to hell.
Submitted by The_Walrus (user info) at 2005-01-19 22:46:19 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Despite the fact that I am indeed a Cake fan (Gay)
(Gay) (Gay) (Gay) (Gay) (Gay) (Gay) (Gay) (Gay) (Gay)
This post kicked all kinds of ass. But yes, the new album does suck. Old stuff is good. Old stuff is very good.
Submitted by Skullcrusher (user info) at 2005-01-19 21:41:47 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Classic stuff man. I hate that horrible band.
Submitted by chicagogirl (user info) at 2005-01-19 18:37:34 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
i am afraid of parakeets
Submitted by munkeypants (user info) at 2005-01-19 16:46:49 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by GodLovesALittleLovin (user info) at 2005-01-19 11:54:48 (#)
Ranking: 2
Your conversation with electro made my nuts fart.
HAHAHAHAHAHA
Submitted by comicbookguy (user info) at 2005-01-19 15:25:08 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
HogMan650: Do you like Cake?
Uber John Galt: yes
HogMan650: i see
HogMan650: and are you a homosexual
HogMan650: from your lack of response i will assume yes
HogMan650: thanks for you help
Submitted by Death_Metal_Dude (user info) at 2005-01-19 15:06:47 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I hate Cake
Submitted by CoreaPeekay (user info) at 2005-01-19 13:44:39 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
FUCK CAKE! WOOOO
Submitted by potatomanjack (user info) at 2005-01-19 13:04:41 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
That song "No Phone" is the bane of my existance.
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2005-01-19 12:51:03 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2005-01-19 11:56:52 (#)
Ranking: 2
AIM conversations with electro are fucking great
Submitted by GodLovesALittleLovin (user info) at 2005-01-19 11:54:48 (#)
Ranking: 2
Your conversation with electro made my nuts fart.
Submitted by munkeypants (user info) at 2005-01-19 12:47:56 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
HAHAHAHAHA
you didn't ask me you jerk.
GO GUNS N ROSES W000000
Submitted by strwbryfanatic (user info) at 2005-01-19 12:28:52 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
:(
I kinda like them.
A bit much, actually.
They are fun.
:(
Submitted by Sassmasterr (user info) at 2005-01-19 12:27:48 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
your pics are priceless
boo queers
Submitted by Adamdidit2u (user info) at 2005-01-19 12:23:34 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
me gusta
Submitted by SilvrWolf (user info) at 2005-01-19 12:10:02 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by ssj4yamcha (user info) at 2005-01-19 11:47:39 (#)
Ranking: 0
I was going to give you a -2 (mostly because I can't give you a -1000000) because that post really really sucked.
And i don't even like Cake.
THEN i started reading the AIM.
That's some funny shit. And now i get the title.
You've compensated by about +999998.
So I give you a 0.
-----------------^
Math is fun. Fuck Cake.
Submitted by Zoidberg (user info) at 2005-01-19 12:03:06 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
hahahahaha
only a -1 because my arm is broken (makes ni sense but thats the darvocets fault)
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2005-01-19 11:56:52 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
AIM conversations with electro are fucking great
Submitted by Sofa_Ace (user info) at 2005-01-19 11:55:14 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
dont listen to the haters, habeeb, you rock.
Submitted by GodLovesALittleLovin (user info) at 2005-01-19 11:54:48 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Your conversation with electro made my nuts fart.
feel free to ask me if i like cake anytime AIM: MrChaquetaMan
Submitted by ChristPuncher (user info) at 2005-01-19 11:49:58 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by ssj4yamcha (user info) at 2005-01-19 11:47:39 (#)
Ranking: 0
I was going to give you a -2 (mostly because I can't give you a -1000000) because that post really really sucked.
And i don't even like Cake.
THEN i started reading the AIM.
That's some funny shit. And now i get the title.
You've compensated by about +999998.
So I give you a 0.
Next time, just write "Cake sucks" and then get directly to the survey.
PS hate is not the opposite of love.... indifference is.
---------------------------------------------------------------
Ok hippy...
P.S. I believe there are some trees in Sri Lanka that need hugs
Submitted by ssj4yamcha (user info) at 2005-01-19 11:47:39 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I was going to give you a -2 (mostly because I can't give you a -1000000) because that post really really sucked.
And i don't even like Cake.
THEN i started reading the AIM.
That's some funny shit. And now i get the title.
You've compensated by about +999998.
So I give you a 0.
Next time, just write "Cake sucks" and then get directly to the survey.
PS hate is not the opposite of love.... indifference is.
Submitted by WhatTheHell (user info) at 2005-01-19 11:44:06 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I like clams!
Submitted by BLITZKREIG_BOB (user info) at 2005-01-19 11:41:30 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
HogMan650: wow that was all very random
Irony, baby. Irony.
Submitted by WhatTheHell (user info) at 2005-01-19 11:40:40 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
QUICK..... GO HERE!! BEFORE IT'S TOO LATE!! ---> http://www.ubersite.com/m/57123
PS: You're MENTAL
Submitted by ChristPuncher (user info) at 2005-01-19 11:39:43 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Tigre (user info) at 2005-01-19 11:37:54 (#)
Ranking: -1
What happens on AIM, stays on AIM.
----------------------------------------------
Shut yer piehole, Tigre
Submitted by theshrew (user info) at 2005-01-19 11:38:31 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
your mental
Submitted by Tigre (user info) at 2005-01-19 11:37:54 EST (#)
Ranking: -1
What happens on AIM, stays on AIM.