Fun With Real E-Mail, Part 2 (18733 hits)
Category: NoneLabels: fun_with_real_e-mail
Rating: 1.86 on 70 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Tom Sorrell (View user info) at 2005-01-19 12:07:24 EST
Fun With Real E-Mail, Part 1:
http://www.ubersite.com/m/57074
---------------------------------------------------------------
From: Stephanie
To: Tom Sorrell
Subject: Taco Bell
Are you and Eric going to Taco Bell for lunch today???
--
From: Tom Sorrell
To: Stephanie
Subject: re: Taco Bell
Yes we are, but I'm not getting you anything.
--
From: Stephanie
To: Tom Sorrell
Subject: re: Taco Bell
WHY NOT!?
--
From: Tom Sorrell
To: Stephanie
Subject: re: Taco Bell
Because I don't want Eric's wife to get hurt or die.
--
From: Stephanie
To: Tom Sorrell
Subject: re: Taco Bell
WHAT??????
--
From: Tom Sorrell
To: Stephanie
Subject: re: Taco Bell
Eric's car doesn't have any cupholders so when we come back from Taco Bell, I have to hold both sodas so Eric can drive. If I get YOU something, that means I have to hold your soda with my feet. If I hold it with my feet, it will likely spill, and let's not forget that it's about ten degrees outside. So, if the soda spills, it will freeze on the floor of his car creating a spot of ice that will be invisible to the naked eye. This means the next time Eric's wife gets in the car, she'll slip on that spot of ice, hit her head on the door, and suffer a concussion. Then, Eric will have to take the time to drive her to the hospital, but the doctor will read her chart wrong because he needs glasses but is too stubborn to admit it and he'll send her into immediate brain surgery which he'll screw up (because of his need for glasses) and then she'll die and Eric will be alone.
Do you REALLY want Eric to go through all of that!?
You freaking sadist...
--
From: Stephanie
To: Tom Sorrell
Subject: re: Taco Bell
But I just want a taco...
--
From: Tom Sorrell
To: Stephanie
Subject: re: Taco Bell
Oh... Well why didn't you say so? That's a horse of a different color!
"Ha ha ha! Ho ho ho! And a couple of tra la las. That's how we laugh the day away, in the Merry Old Land of Oz!"
--
From: Stephanie
To: Tom Sorrell
Subject: re: Taco Bell
Sometimes I wonder about you. Let me know when you 2 leave, I'll bring down some money.
---------------------------------------------------------------
From: Tom Sorrell
To: John
Subject: HEY
Please clean out your male slot, I can't fit anything else in it and it's stressing me out.
--
From: John
To: Tom Sorrell
Subject: re: HEY
Do you mean "mail" slot?
--
From: Tom Sorrell
To: John
Subject: re: HEY
Maybe in your world, pervert.
---------------------------------------------------------------
From: Linda
To: Tom Sorrell
Subject: scanning
Tom, Are you scanning today?
--
From: Tom Sorrell
To: Linda
Subject: re: scanning
Sorry, Linda, scanning's closed... the moose out front should have told you.
--
From: Linda
To: Tom Sorrell
Subject: re: scanning
What moose?
--
From Tom Sorrell
To: Linda
Subject: re: scanning
Nevermind. Bring me the documents...
---------------------------------------------------------------
From: Ops Manager
To: Tom Sorrell
Subject: email usage...
Tom, I'm concerned about the amount of time you spend reading and sending email.
--
From: Tom Sorrell
To: Ops Manager
Subject: re: email usage
http://dictionary.reference.com/search?q=irony
--
From: Ops Manager
To: Tom Sorrell
Subject: re: email usage
Is that supposed to be funny?
--
From: Tom Sorrell
To: Ops Manager
Subject: re: email usage
That depends...
--
From: Ops Manager
To: Tom Sorrell
Subject: re: email usage
On what?
--
From: Tom Sorrell
To: Ops Manager
Subject: re: email usage
On whether or not you found it funny.
--
From: Ops Manager
To: Tom Sorrell
Subject: re: email usage
I did not find it funny, now get to work.
--
From: Tom Sorrell
To: Ops Manager
Subject: re: email usage
http://dictionary.reference.com/search?q=procrastination
--
From: Ops Manager
To: Tom Sorrell
Subject: re: email usage
http://dictionary.reference.com/search?q=unemployed
--
From: Tom Sorrell
To: Ops Manager
Subject: re: email usage
Yes, ma'am.
User Reviews
Submitted by shadow (user info) at 2008-07-18 15:30:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
oooo burn
Submitted by BobSandwich (user info) at 2008-07-18 14:53:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by experima (user info) at 2007-02-27 22:11:10 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by jfreakman (user info) at 2006-10-04 00:50:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Reminds me of the guys who mailed the police a picture of cash when they mailed him a photo ticket. Then they mailed him a picture of handcuffs. He paid...har har har.
Submitted by Stagger_Lee (user info) at 2006-04-04 23:04:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by lemonfish (user info) at 2005-04-21 16:18:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
nice to know people working in big companies
are not quite the robots they are often described to be
Submitted by dodahdave (user info) at 2005-03-11 14:50:48 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I think this is the funniest thing I've ever read.
Bar none.
The use of dictionary.com hyperlinks as email replies is comic genius, no shit.
Submitted by Deidra (user info) at 2005-02-18 17:32:25 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Gnome (user info) at 2005-02-17 15:29:47 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
+2 for the Gnomes, even though they were in the last one
Submitted by Obi-wan (user info) at 2005-02-14 16:22:32 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
people at the place you work seem to have a sense of humour especially that Ops manager
Submitted by DamienX (user info) at 2005-02-14 15:04:10 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
This can't be real.
Submitted by Gollman (user info) at 2005-02-14 13:37:51 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Over_There (user info) at 2005-02-11 10:31:53 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Fantastic again.
Submitted by littledan (user info) at 2005-02-08 21:44:52 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
B@W
Submitted by Degreeless_Capibara (user info) at 2005-02-08 21:27:41 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
From: Ops Manager
To: Tom Sorrell
Subject: re: email usage
http://dictionary.reference.com/search?q=unemployed
Submitted by Tigre (user info) at 2005-02-08 21:14:18 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2005-02-03 19:12:41 (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Submitted by screamfeeder (user info) at 2005-01-31 16:50:22 (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2005-01-29 01:06:52 (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2005-02-03 19:12:41 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by screamfeeder (user info) at 2005-01-31 16:50:22 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2005-01-29 01:06:52 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by LaNa (user info) at 2005-01-28 15:28:41 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
http://dictionary.reference.com/search?q=fucking%20hilarious
Submitted by youarsoghey (user info) at 2005-01-25 16:16:54 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Holy fuck, that's funny.
Submitted by RamJetMax (user info) at 2005-01-25 13:49:33 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
congrats on B@W
Submitted by DeathJester (user info) at 2005-01-25 06:21:10 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Loren1 (user info) at 2005-01-24 15:55:22 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
+2
Submitted by bart (user info) at 2005-01-24 01:41:40 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by bossk (user info) at 2005-01-20 17:03:59 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
plus2 for this:
From: Tom Sorrell
To: John
Subject: HEY
Please clean out your male slot, I can't fit anything else in it and it's stressing me out.
--
From: John
To: Tom Sorrell
Subject: re: HEY
Do you mean "mail" slot?
--
From: Tom Sorrell
To: John
Subject: re: HEY
Maybe in your world, pervert.
and for referencing Vacation.
Submitted by lizzard (user info) at 2005-01-20 13:07:34 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
:-D
Submitted by CJRipley (user info) at 2005-01-20 12:53:28 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by bob (user info) at 2005-01-19 16:47:58 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
From: Tom Sorrell
To: Ops Manager
Subject: re: email usage
http://dictionary.reference.com/search?q=procrastination
--
From: Ops Manager
To: Tom Sorrell
Subject: re: email usage
http://dictionary.reference.com/search?q=unemployed
--
From: Tom Sorrell
To: Ops Manager
Subject: re: email usage
Yes, ma'am.
____________________________________________
Oh man, between this and Monster Jam...i just cant stop laughing!
Submitted by wanderingsharps (user info) at 2005-01-19 15:35:19 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
just fun..
Submitted by jack11058 (user info) at 2005-01-19 15:24:36 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
haha
Submitted by MandaPanda (user info) at 2005-01-19 14:41:01 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by vettesrule88 (user info) at 2005-01-19 14:29:26 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
hi-fuckin-larious
Submitted by seanfogy (user info) at 2005-01-19 14:11:39 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
good stuff
Submitted by xenon (user info) at 2005-01-19 13:59:48 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
the last one took the cake
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2005-01-19 13:53:48 EST (#)
Ranking: -1
The only reason I'm not -2-ing you is because of the Marty Moose reference.
Other than that...the gayness continues.
Submitted by BuckeyesTHEGAME (user info) at 2005-01-19 13:49:13 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I have to collect some more e-mails, but expect Part 3 by Friday.
Submitted by knucklesnelson (user info) at 2005-01-19 13:42:25 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by engine13 (user info) at 2005-01-19 13:27:44 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
These are great. I wish I had coworkers that had a sense of humor.
Submitted by Zandy1123 (user info) at 2005-01-19 13:22:46 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
man - I love this shit!!
Keep it up and I'll keep the +2s coming!
Submitted by GrandsonOfGod (user info) at 2005-01-19 13:22:13 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Very funny, but I liked the first one better.
Try to make me wet my pants with the third installment....
Please
Submitted by TabathaS. (user info) at 2005-01-19 13:09:45 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
"real funny
I'm going to kill you when I get home. "
Oooooohhh I'm scared, wussy!!
Submitted by DJMattB241 (user info) at 2005-01-19 13:08:27 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
"unemployed"
bahahahaha
Submitted by runninginplace (user info) at 2005-01-19 13:08:24 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
.
Submitted by BuckeyesTHEGAME (user info) at 2005-01-19 13:05:36 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Yea, the MALE SLOT, thing kind of cements it, huh Cancer?
Submitted by FunnyAsCancer (user info) at 2005-01-19 13:04:56 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Just when you thought it couldn't get any gheyer...
Submitted by BuckeyesTHEGAME (user info) at 2005-01-19 13:04:07 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Your welcome!!
**shakes head**
real funny
I'm going to kill you when I get home.
Submitted by TabathaS. (user info) at 2005-01-19 13:02:42 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Your welcome!!
Submitted by shitfuck (user info) at 2005-01-19 13:01:18 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by BuckeyesTHEGAME (user info) at 2005-01-19 13:01:17 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by TabathaS. (user info) at 2005-01-19 12:59:58 (#)
Ranking: 2
Hilarious!!
------------------------
Thanks, wife.
Submitted by GodChicken (user info) at 2005-01-19 13:01:11 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Tom, you need to start signing your emails to people with personalized tags, using images from http://www.despair.com
To: Ops Manager
From Tom
http://www.despair.com/proc24x30pri.html
===============================
To: Tom
From Ops Manager
http://www.despair.com/demotivation.html
Submitted by TabathaS. (user info) at 2005-01-19 12:59:58 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Hilarious!!
Submitted by BuckeyesTHEGAME (user info) at 2005-01-19 12:59:41 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by domenad (user info) at 2005-01-19 12:56:33 (#)
Ranking: 2
A riot. And to think I got in trouble just for my email signature.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Do tell...
Submitted by domenad (user info) at 2005-01-19 12:59:32 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Sorry, Linda, scanning's closed... the moose out front should have told you
--------
Paaaahahahhahahahahahhahahahhahahahahhahah! <GASP> Hahahahahahah!
Submitted by domenad (user info) at 2005-01-19 12:56:33 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
A riot. And to think I got in trouble just for my email signature.
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2005-01-19 12:53:06 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
hahahahahahaha
Submitted by AwesomeJohnson (user info) at 2005-01-19 12:50:48 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
i like it
Submitted by stardamage (user info) at 2005-01-19 12:48:53 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
"From: Ops Manager
To: Tom Sorrell
Subject: re: email usage
http://dictionary.reference.com/search?q=unemployed"
Bahahahahahaha!!
Plus fucking two!
Submitted by c1ndy (user info) at 2005-01-19 12:42:32 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by zakalwe (user info) at 2005-01-19 12:36:30 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
The last two were classic.
Submitted by The_taste_of_Monkeys (user info) at 2005-01-19 12:33:05 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
The taco one: Fucking Gold!
Submitted by ess-arr (user info) at 2005-01-19 12:32:37 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
But I just want a taco...
-----------
bwahahaha
Submitted by JohnGalt (user info) at 2005-01-19 12:32:31 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
That exchange with the Ops Manager is comedic gold.
Submitted by Sassmasterr (user info) at 2005-01-19 12:31:46 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
-1 for reminding me of my days of working at Taco Bell
Submitted by GodLovesALittleLovin (user info) at 2005-01-19 12:24:10 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
good, but I liked the first one better.
Submitted by BuckeyesTHEGAME (user info) at 2005-01-19 12:21:54 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I should once again mention that the text of the e-mails are real and HAVE NOT been edited in any way.
Submitted by EbolaMay (user info) at 2005-01-19 12:15:44 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Tom, keep it up, but don't lose your job. Then there will be no more of these, and Ebola will be sad.
xoxoxoxoxo.
Submitted by jgreening (user info) at 2005-01-19 12:15:09 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Nice ending.
Submitted by theshrew (user info) at 2005-01-19 12:15:08 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
No Comment
Submitted by Lyric (user info) at 2005-01-19 12:10:52 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
I smiled.