If you are at work and unable to get drunk, read this because I am unselfishly getting shitty for you. (1139 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 1.34 on 46 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by MickGinny (View user info) at 2005-01-19 15:44:31 EST
I am on an unusual beer drunk. I say unusual not because I don't get drunk but because I am drunk on beer. Usually I drink whiskey to get drunk but it is snowing like a MOFO and it is in the teens here in hillbillyville. I would have to travel quite a way to the state store.
I have 18 bottles of corona left from the holidays so I have decided to get shitty on beer which I hate to do because you have to drink so much so fast. Whiskey is my preferred method because it is way more efficient.
I am amused by the perception of this Mexican beer by the public. It is actually considered a yuppie icon now. When I was a young man it was a joke. When I would go partying at Rosarito you could make a stop in TJ and get a case for 4 bucks. I have to give credit where credit is due. This company has turned their skunky swill into a multi million dollar money earner.
you know why I like corona? Because it is a little skunky like good weed and good pussy.
But you know, whatever it takes. Contrary to some peoples perception that I am a hard drinking daily drunk, I rarely get drunk. I drink when life is closing in with negativity and becoming too real too fast. I drink to escape...if just for a little while.
Why do you drink.
Talk to me. I will answer you like the ignorant belligerent drunk three stools down about to be thrown out of a bar.
bonus points to who can tell me who is represented in this animation first.
User Reviews
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2005-01-20 10:56:08 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
I drink 16 beers as a PRELUDE to drinking liquor. 16 beers is just an appetizer.
You're a fatass, Mick. You shouldn't even have a buzz.
Submitted by DamianD (user info) at 2005-01-20 10:45:34 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
I drink because there is nothing better to do.
Submitted by chipolatte (user info) at 2005-01-19 21:33:59 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Lou Dog!
Submitted by QueenAshlee (user info) at 2005-01-19 18:09:05 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by MickGinny (user info) at 2005-01-19 16:44:51 (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Beer_bong (user info) at 2005-01-19 16:08:06 (#)
Ranking: 2
"i can tell you how to drink or ingest other chemicals and pass a piss test w/ flying colors though"
Details please.
Ok, heres what you do: you go to a catholic church bingo night and hang out in the cellar by the bathroom with a crucifix and an empty gatorade bottle. When a real old lady with purple hair goes into the john you walk in behind her and tell her that she will either piss in the bottle or you are going to rape her wit the crucifix.
BINGO! You have your clean urine sample! Problen solved.
____
There has to be an easier way...
Submitted by BLITZKREIG_BOB (user info) at 2005-01-19 17:46:20 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
You're drinking Mexican piss - not a Yuengling or, better yet, a Stegmaier product?
Submitted by MrRottenTreats (user info) at 2005-01-19 17:42:15 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Nothing like a few cans of wife beater to get the party going is there?
Submitted by Davros (user info) at 2005-01-19 17:26:10 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by EbolaMay (user info) at 2005-01-19 16:39:07 (#)
Ranking: 0
Davros, is Stella Artois a beer from the U.K.? Never heard of it before. Wonder if it's available here in the states.....
--------------------------------------------------
Stella is a belgian brew.
5.2% of pure Heaven.
Also known as Wife Beater in the UK.
http://www.stellaartois.com
It is available in the US. I was drinking it on draught in McFaddens (I think) NYC in November.
-Dave
Submitted by MyNameIsTim (user info) at 2005-01-19 16:57:26 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
i enjoy getting blacked out when it is light out.
thats not something that happens every day.
we got approximately zero inches of snow so far in jersey, but it was more than enough to make people drive at 32 mph on the turnpike, riding their brakes the whole way.
i fucking hate this state
Submitted by mikethescottish (user info) at 2005-01-19 16:45:51 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by EbolaMay (user info) at 2005-01-19 16:39:07 (#)
Ranking: 0
Davros, is Stella Artois a beer from the U.K.? Never heard of it before. Wonder if it's available here in the states..
--------------
WHAT??
You need some alcoholic education, m'boy...
Submitted by MickGinny (user info) at 2005-01-19 16:44:51 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Beer_bong (user info) at 2005-01-19 16:08:06 (#)
Ranking: 2
"i can tell you how to drink or ingest other chemicals and pass a piss test w/ flying colors though"
Details please.
Ok, heres what you do: you go to a catholic church bingo night and hang out in the cellar by the bathroom with a crucifix and an empty gatorade bottle. When a real old lady with purple hair goes into the john you walk in behind her and tell her that she will either piss in the bottle or you are going to rape her wit the crucifix.
BINGO! You have your clean urine sample! Problen solved.
Submitted by EbolaMay (user info) at 2005-01-19 16:39:40 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Oops, forgot to rate. Sorry.
Submitted by EbolaMay (user info) at 2005-01-19 16:39:07 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Davros, is Stella Artois a beer from the U.K.? Never heard of it before. Wonder if it's available here in the states.....
Submitted by MickGinny (user info) at 2005-01-19 16:36:16 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by munkeypants (user info) at 2005-01-19 16:07:22 (#)
Ranking: 2
So?
What's the ansewr to the animation?
SUBLIME
Submitted by Davros (user info) at 2005-01-19 16:33:44 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by munkeypants (user info) at 2005-01-19 15:54:04 (#)
Ranking: 2
I drink when I am depressed. I don't know why. It makes it a whole lot worse.
I've been drinking a lot.
------------------------------------------
I get beer drunk a lot.
I like it because it is a creeping drunk.
Spirits jump you and I begin to talk shit. (I have witnesses I tells ya).
Stella Artois is my beer of choice.
-Dave
Submitted by CATHAIL (user info) at 2005-01-19 16:27:26 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
MAN I WANNA GET LOADED NOW. ALLS I HAVE AT HOME IS SOME LIONS HEAD AND MIKE'S HARD LEMONAIDE SOME PEOPLE LEFT AT MY HOUSE.....FUCK ALL.
Submitted by 1Point21Gigawatts (user info) at 2005-01-19 16:21:51 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
That is awesome that you are so drunk, in the middle of the day nonetheless.
Submitted by FATMANTPK (user info) at 2005-01-19 16:17:13 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I only drink to get drunk, and only at a few social gatherings and parties.
Submitted by ess-arr (user info) at 2005-01-19 16:11:41 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
All the good things in my life happen when I'm drunk. And bad when I'm sober.
work= sober
work= bad
not work= drunk
not work= good
Submitted by Beer_bong (user info) at 2005-01-19 16:08:06 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
"i can tell you how to drink or ingest other chemicals and pass a piss test w/ flying colors though"
Details please.
Submitted by HadToBeDone (user info) at 2005-01-19 16:07:50 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Corona sucks. Real beer would never allow anything citrus to be near it.
Submitted by munkeypants (user info) at 2005-01-19 16:07:22 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
So?
What's the ansewr to the animation?
Submitted by seanfogy (user info) at 2005-01-19 16:06:45 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
i drink because i'm a fucking alcoholic. drinking is what i love. take that away, i have nothing.
Submitted by WhatTheHell (user info) at 2005-01-19 16:06:29 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
This post is like a fucking virtual AA meeting.
Submitted by ess-arr (user info) at 2005-01-19 16:05:22 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I drink because god damn I love it. I know I have a problem and my problem is I don't have enough $ to drink as much as I want. Corona is OKay but if you want cheap Mexican beer you got to have Sol. It's not all that bad but you do need like 15 to get a buzz. I love Labatt 50, that's a good beer, but I'm not even that picky so it doesnt even matter. Nothing Like a little Johnny Walker Black either.
-my mouth is watering as I type this i got to get outta here...-
Submitted by WhatTheHell (user info) at 2005-01-19 16:03:32 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by MickGinny (user info) at 2005-01-19 16:01:10 (#)
Ranking: 0
1.2 i am in PA...so get prepared cause it is comoing your way
waht would be graet munkey?
----------------------------------------------------
Okaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay...........
looks like someone is shitty... or speaking a foreign language.
Submitted by Yes (user info) at 2005-01-19 16:02:14 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
good for you... sublime rocks. woot.
Submitted by MickGinny (user info) at 2005-01-19 16:01:10 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
1.2 i am in PA...so get prepared cause it is comoing your way
waht would be graet munkey?
Submitted by WhatTheHell (user info) at 2005-01-19 16:00:43 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Jeebus christ Mick, I'm a BIG guy too.... but I think I would be on the floor if I swilled 16 beers in that amount of time.
Submitted by MickGinny (user info) at 2005-01-19 15:59:16 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
WTH, if i start telling you how 16 beers isnt shit then i would come off like shlongy....
Submitted by 1Point21Gigawatts (user info) at 2005-01-19 15:58:41 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Where are you that it is snowing so hard? It's snowing here in NY, but not too hard.
Submitted by WhatTheHell (user info) at 2005-01-19 15:58:26 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Sorry Munkey.....
Old habits die hard...
(huhuhuh, I said hard)
Submitted by munkeypants (user info) at 2005-01-19 15:57:20 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
WTH, I knew you'd be all over that comment!
Mick, yes, please. that would be awesome!
Submitted by WhatTheHell (user info) at 2005-01-19 15:57:00 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
You drank 16 beers already ?
What are you, super man or something ?
Submitted by WhatTheHell (user info) at 2005-01-19 15:56:08 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
"Just to loosten the jaw" huh Munkey??
Suuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuure................................
Submitted by MickGinny (user info) at 2005-01-19 15:55:32 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I cant drink a few more for you because i only have 2 left...they are dedicated to you darlin'
i can tell you how to drink or ingest other chemicals and pass a piss test w/ flying colors though
Submitted by munkeypants (user info) at 2005-01-19 15:54:43 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Also, I drink when I want to loosen up. I have a few beers before I meet
people. Not enough to get drunk.. just enough to loosen the jaw.
Submitted by munkeypants (user info) at 2005-01-19 15:54:04 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I drink when I am depressed. I don't know why. It makes it a whole lot worse.
I've been drinking a lot.
Submitted by WhatTheHell (user info) at 2005-01-19 15:53:45 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I think he passed out ......
Let's draw penises on his face!!
Submitted by MandaPanda (user info) at 2005-01-19 15:53:12 EST (#)
Ranking: -1
I don't drink. At all.
Submitted by Donitsu2002 (user info) at 2005-01-19 15:52:29 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I dont drink....
Submitted by Fartman (user info) at 2005-01-19 15:51:59 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
You drunken hillybilly mofo, I drink Quervo and beer. Beer from your neck of the woods, I believe. Old Latrobe's Finest, Rolling Rock. Corona is too light for me, my wife drinks it on occasion. You're gonna need a lot of that to get your jag on.
Submitted by QueenAshlee (user info) at 2005-01-19 15:51:18 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Drink a few for me. I'm depressed and I can't get buzzed because I'm looking for a job. I hate my life...
Submitted by Jeanneee (user info) at 2005-01-19 15:50:44 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
*holds bonus points tightly*
*looks around suspiciously*
Submitted by WhatTheHell (user info) at 2005-01-19 15:49:31 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Are you the fat bald guy with the chicken on his shirt ?
Submitted by MickGinny (user info) at 2005-01-19 15:48:25 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
You get the bonus points jean...whatever the fuck they are..
i am listening to the transplants at full volume right now.
Submitted by Jeanneee (user info) at 2005-01-19 15:46:14 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I love Corona.
Is that Sublime?