Behind the green door (2239 hits)
Category: NoneLabels: crap:fiction
Rating: 1.62 on 39 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Circe <fickle.muse.at.gmail.com> (View user info) at 2005-01-20 08:23:42 EST
You know that part in 'Adagio for Strings', where the music swells and lifts and then soars... and comes drifting back down to break your heart before leaving you hopeful?
I'd give anything to hear it right now; preferably in my living room, with a glass of wine, and my friends arguing amiably about everything under the sun, and my kids sleeping down the hall. I have two red, high backed sofas in my living room. The way they contrast with the beige tiled floor, when the down lights are on... oh god help me I can taste the wine, and hear that music. Fuck I wanna be there.
There's no music here, apart from what I make myself. And my throat hurts too bad to sing any more. I tried humming for a while - about two days ago - but the cracked sound of it scared me rather badly and so I stopped. I sounded like an old woman, dancing blindly on the edge of the White Cliffs of Insanity.
Heh. That sounds pretentious, and so cliched. But my mind has been doing that for about a week. I get these phrases stuck in my head, because there's nothing here in the perfectly seamless dark to distract me. They strike me as very funny. I was calling out "Bumble the one fuck wonder monkey" for almost a full day.
It kills the time. I hope they can hear me, and hear how well I'm keeping my spirits up in the face of Adversity. The face of Adversity is not so intimidating after all. The Face of Adversity has a cold sore.
I'm sure I can hear them. Their voices are a low murmur on the other side of the door. What was that song? "Saw an eyeball peepin' through a smoky cloud behind the green door..."
Only this door isn't green, I don't think. And I can't see anything. It might be green, I suppose. It seems unlikely though.
Wouldn't an eyeball in a smoky cloud be red rimmed? That and the green door would be kinda Christmassy. Red eyes, green door, Santa don't come here no more. No more Christmas in the park, Santa lost me in the dark.
I've been here since three days before Christmas. I don't know how long I've been here. There's no light and no clocks and no nothing else, and food comes sporadically, so I can't measure time by that.
The food! I haven't told you about the food. They open the door and shine a light in my eyes, burny hot, and make me look away... and they leave food on the floor and shut the door again.
I only call it food because I eat it. It doesn't really taste like it's supposed to be eaten, but my options have been reduced to auto cannibalism or the muck they peep through the smoky door.
That came out wrong.
So the food comes through the eyeball, and I eat it. I used to eat it with my hands but once I felt it moving, so now I just eat it fast as I can off the plate like a dog.
Discordant dogs of the dinner dance.
Do you think they can really play cards?
They're talking to me again. They sound all soft and soothing, but it's such a tricky trap they try to tease through the green eyeball dog door.
They opened the door once, did I tell you that? They shone that brightbright light into my dark and tried to get me to come out, but I know they're tricking me. I don't know what they have planned for me out there, but I know it's safer in here in the dark. I bit them last time they reached through, closed my eyes against the light and bit like a dog... eat like a dog, bite like one too... bad biting puppy, no Santa for you.
God, they're talking. The things that have taken over the bodies of my friends and lover and children are asking me to come out, begging me to come out. Come out and play, the voices say, you've been in here for thirty days.
I am not stupid. I know what they are.
It's why I shut myself in here to be safe. No matter how much I want to come out and go back to the living room, back to my life, back to sanity, I can't. I just stay here in the closet while they try to poison me, but I am stronger than they know.
I miss music, but at least I'm safe. Their words hurt though. They come through the dog door pod cloud and twist into rhymes.
Crazy, sane, broken brain, dying, living
All the same.
User Reviews
Submitted by thorpe (user info) at 2005-02-06 08:09:48 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Samuel Barber gives a hearty +2
Submitted by rad1101 (user info) at 2005-02-06 07:28:03 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
On a totally related note, The Green Door is a swingers club in Las Vegas.
Submitted by mrwolf (user info) at 2005-01-24 05:50:48 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Awesomenessnessness... Though I am scared of you now.
Submitted by MandaPanda (user info) at 2005-01-23 00:29:55 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Your writing is amazing.
Submitted by JMG114 (user info) at 2005-01-23 00:00:03 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
"Discordant dogs of the dinner dance."
Good line.
Submitted by drfeggphd (user info) at 2005-01-22 13:45:31 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Submitted by Circe (user info) at 2005-01-20 08:51:26 (#)
Ranking: 0
.... I was laughing while writing it.
---------------------------------------
I read the story a couple of times, and something bothered me about it.
Then I saw your comment. And now I think I know what was bothering me.
I will put it like this: I think you could have committed to this story a little more,
and it would have been much more... something. Powerful, maybe? It was still very good,
though. Just felt like something wasn't right about it. Sorry I can't be more precise.
Submitted by wanderingsharps (user info) at 2005-01-22 12:32:23 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I've read alot of your stuff.
usually I like it...
I'm not saying that this soul writing crap sucks,
but I miss your earlier stuff...
Submitted by uberdick (user info) at 2005-01-22 04:06:24 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Shut the fuck up and get to the point, there is none is there?
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2005-01-21 10:14:12 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
my penis awaits you
Submitted by Coyote (user info) at 2005-01-21 04:19:29 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Hey, don't knock autocannibalism until you've tried it.
Submitted by Circe (user info) at 2005-01-21 03:55:33 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Kopesh, dearest, you scare everybody sometimes.
Submitted by Kopesh (user info) at 2005-01-21 03:39:02 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
you scare me sometimes....
then again.... I scare me sometimes....
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2005-01-20 14:43:33 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Porn is what's behind the Green Door - so where is it? WHERE????
Submitted by AshK (user info) at 2005-01-20 14:36:35 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I was on the phone with my husband earlier (he at home and me at work) and we were having a most serious conversation about work, or the lack therof, when he said the oddest thing....
"Bumble the one fuck wonder monkey has just signed in"
I spit my water all over my monitor.
Way to cheer me up, even when you aren't trying.
Submitted by CookieLass (user info) at 2005-01-20 14:14:10 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Crazytalk, mama! Pure crazytalk. Sweet sweet crazytalk. Excellent.
Yes, Tinactin, it is.
Submitted by tinactin (user info) at 2005-01-20 13:36:43 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Isnt this the title for some pornography?
Submitted by ICO (user info) at 2005-01-20 11:08:55 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by shandythedog (user info) at 2005-01-20 10:35:00 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
is this pro dog or anti dog????
Submitted by Snark (user info) at 2005-01-20 10:26:53 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
This is one of your best.
I'm not sure why I had to review twice to say that... jealousy maybe.
Submitted by Snark (user info) at 2005-01-20 10:25:17 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Perfect.
Submitted by comicbookguy (user info) at 2005-01-20 10:13:10 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Bigmike (user info) at 2005-01-20 10:06:54 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
She needs to meet Karl Stallings.
They would dance in the darkness all night long.
Wonderful imagery here Circe.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2005-01-20 10:01:10 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
I'm not sure what the fuck you're talking about but since I probably would like to bang you, here's a 1.
Submitted by Ainkara (user info) at 2005-01-20 09:58:10 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Woah...
Submitted by loki (user info) at 2005-01-20 09:44:26 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Are you waiting out the inauguration?
Submitted by electrictoothsyndrome (user info) at 2005-01-20 09:21:09 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I want to hear Adagio for strings arranged by poor Bumble, the one fuck wonder monkey in the closet.
Submitted by Circe (user info) at 2005-01-20 09:19:33 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
We all know it's fiction... right?
RIGHT?
We all know I'm not crazy, and locking myself in closets...
Right?
Submitted by BLITZKREIG_BOB (user info) at 2005-01-20 09:17:30 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Very.....schizophrenic.
Submitted by Jeanneee (user info) at 2005-01-20 09:16:51 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Take an 80-milligram Seroquel. You'll feel a lot better.
Submitted by AshK (user info) at 2005-01-20 09:15:05 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I think I found it bleak, because I am just in that sort of mood.
I am sure a trip to your closet would work wonders.
Submitted by Circe (user info) at 2005-01-20 08:51:26 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Ash - lock yourself in mine with me. And it wasn't supposed to be bleak.. I was laughing while writing it.
Apollo - can you jump on MSN? I want to ask you about it.
And find out why you're making cryptic accusations on my shitty posts.
Submitted by Brdn_Nkd (user info) at 2005-01-20 08:49:27 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
good stuff
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2005-01-20 08:49:04 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
there's a fine line between influence and tribute.
Tim Winton.
Read that cloud street book by the way.
Submitted by AshK (user info) at 2005-01-20 08:47:24 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
That was bleak.
I am feeling bleak.
Maybe I should lock myself in my closet for a while.
Naaaah.
Submitted by Avals (user info) at 2005-01-20 08:41:16 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
This deserves a big WHAT THE FUCK?!
Submitted by Davros (user info) at 2005-01-20 08:37:26 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by XFile (user info) at 2005-01-20 08:30:59 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Adagio for Strings = good
Giger = good
Submitted by Awko (user info) at 2005-01-20 08:29:20 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Impassive-Digressive (user info) at 2005-01-20 08:26:57 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Should I be worried that I identified with this?