Hippopotami Seen Attacking Gang Members (881 hits)
Category: Politics -> Election 2004Rating: 2 on 4 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by sublime (View user info) at 2005-01-20 18:03:42 EST
I was out and about in the anglo part of town the other day and on my way back, at the bus stop I happened upon what appeared to be two hippopotami attacking a tall gangster inner-city youth teenage male who was minding his own business. Assessing the severity of the situation I rushed to the inner city yute's help immediately, being the helpful man that I am, leaving my friends behind me for a moment.
As I ventured closer to the source of the scuffle whilst removing my pants to unveil my superhero tights, it beckoned upon me that these hippopotami were not hippopotami at all. In fact they were whales, tight jean sporting, to much make up wearing, cell phone toting, black man abusing whales. Pulling up my pants, I stood with an agape jaw at the sight before my eyes. I quickly realized what was going on and straightened myself. I introduced myself and inquired as to when the bus was coming, but mid sentence I was interrupted by a quaint "shut da fuck up yo" from the Beluga and a gangster look from the Humpback while the yute was adjusting his pants. Thinking fastly i said, "Hey tubbs, I'll give you a cake if you apologize, its chocolate". At this point, the very youth I was attempting to save was now hounding me with a flurry of inaudible slang. Picking up what I could from what he said I retorted with "Listen, say what you want, you're still the one shtupping roseanne".
The blank look on all three of their faces made me realize I shot one over their collective heads, which wasn't saying much, but I reiterated my point, "Let me make it simpler, when you take off one of them fatties pants, look at the label, because I garuntee it says size whale". Just before I was about to get "fucked up" by the now flaring red beluga and humpback the bus arrived and they had to get to wherever they were going.
This brings me to my opinion, I have nothing wrong with fat people, hell, I love the old Al Roker. But don't try to act like a total thug/gangster/urban opportunist while being with what crawled out of a cookie factory. If you were as cool as you think/say you are you would have a parade following you and not be holding up one of the fat chicks, i mean floats.
User Reviews
Submitted by munkeypants (user info) at 2005-01-20 23:17:07 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Impassive-Digressive (user info) at 2005-01-20 22:28:52 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Ooooooh, I don't want her,
you can have her,
she's too fat for me!
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2005-01-20 21:35:40 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Umbilical_Cord (user info) at 2005-01-20 18:22:52 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I hate fat people.