Reasons why fat people suck (7308 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 0.77 on 36 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Shagabah_Jones (View user info) at 2005-01-21 03:36:15 EST
Hello, I'm a fatass. Really. I weight 350lbs and am 5 feet tall. I'm unable to drive a car or see my penis when I
masturbate, and I masturbate alot because I'm unable to get laid, and like all fat people I have no sense of
control. Alot of people are personally offended when they see fatasses like me, but don't know why. So I've compiled
many reasons as to why people throw bags of urine at me, and many others in the lardass community.
1.Fat people like to think they are aren't fat.
Think about it. when was the last time you saw a tub of guts stumbling along knocking things over with their
hips(Male of female) astonished that they are destroying a small mexican resturant. Or the last time you saw a
fattie trying to buy clothes that normal humans wear, then feel bad that they don't fit and then eat a walrus to
feel good again? It's not because we are trying to make your children cry, it's because after eating a garden salad
a week ago we think we're aneorexically thin and ambedextrous.
2.Fat people are disgusting to look at.
the last time you were at a beach, I bet you saw a fat thing that looks like is got lost from it's pod start walking
around looking for seafood. with rolls of fat sloshing like the shoreline. People aren't ment to look like
lava-lamps with legs. It's offensive.
3.Fat people are unfuckable.
When was the last time you thought about fucking Camryn Manhime or sitting on Rush limbaugh's face? that's right
only once: after I asked you, and it was horrible wasn't it.
4.Fat people smell bad.
As a fat man I personally know, but you may not, that fat asses have many more cracks and crevaces and since they
all can't be reached many go unattended. hence Fat man stink. Fat girl stink isn't as bad because they spend more
time in the tub getting to know the faucet because it's the only thing that that will be able to stimulate their
massive vaginas.
5.Fat people are lightweights.
I know what you're thinking: "thAT DoEs'Nt maKe sEnSe LOL1111!" Actually if you thought that you're probabally a
sack of living butter yourself. It means fat people can't hold their liquor. Think of the last time you went to a
bar, it was the biggest fattest scariest looking freak that was tanked after a sip of a cheap german draft. College
guys know it from frat parties that fat guys are candyasses and are the loudest most annoying people they cause they
get drunk so fast from literally smelling alcohol
6.Fat people are unisexually.
This one goes with how fatasses are unfuckable, Fat guys have tiny cocks and fat women have massive vaginals. Not
vaginas, Vaginals, that's how big they are.
7.Fat people aren't tough.(Some other guy brought this up)
Being tought takes disciple, to be tough you have to say "no" to yourself, If a fatass can't say "no" to a
krispy creme treat, how are they going to stop a horde a zombies?
8.Fat people are always eating.
Normal humans can eat food and not get fat because the human body is able to process food that's eaten if it's being
burned off or consumed in fair amounts. The human body can't handle all the biscut dough that fat people eat. In
order to get fat, Lardasses have to consume several pounds of food in order to feed the mexican families living in
their bellies.
9.Fat People are lazy.
Because it's hard to move so much meat, and cause we suck. And you know...
10.Fat people can't think of ten ideas without eating a cornbeef sandwich.
It's true and it needs mustard, but I'm too lazy to get it.
OK so now you know why we suck so bad, no go forth and laugh at us while watching us ordering at del taco.
User Reviews
Submitted by littlefatmonkey (user info) at 2009-03-26 23:52:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
dude fat people SUCK! the only people saying that this sucks are fat for sure. fat asses! +2 cus fat people suck. purge them!
Submitted by stevie_says (user info) at 2005-03-09 23:18:14 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
"Fat girl stink isn't as bad because they spend more time in the tub getting to know the faucet because it's the only thing that that will be able to stimulate their massive vaginas."
BWA HAHAHAHAHAHA.
I laugh at the commercials for feminine napkins that are for fat chicks. Then I'll go to the store, stand in the aisle, and laugh some more. I'll point and laugh and wait for a fat chick to come and buy them, just so I can ask her if they work better than the regular kind.
Then I merrily skip away and play in the frozen food aisle with a bag of corn. Tee hee, taa haa! I am the FAIRY KING! LOOK AT MY FUCKING CROWN! I'M THE FUCKING KING!
Submitted by Chinaski (user info) at 2005-03-09 23:05:10 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
On second thought, this was absolutely fucking hilarious.
Submitted by williamson (user info) at 2005-03-09 22:59:14 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Damn I hate fatties who bitch about not losing weight when they don't try to.
I've wanted to eat a whole tub of ice-cream in one sitting on occasion but i don't and that's why i have no man-tits.
If fatties can't control themselves they don't deserve my respect.
Submitted by Perzik (user info) at 2005-03-09 22:48:28 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Don't pity youself, go to weightwatchers.
Submitted by mles76 (user info) at 2005-02-11 17:53:47 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I never knew why I threw bags of urine at fat people. Thanks for the explanation.
Submitted by EbolaMay (user info) at 2005-02-11 17:32:03 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
How do fat people live with themselves? Children around the world dying of starvation, and these fuckers stuff their fat, disgusting faces with pop-tarts and ice cream. Fat fucks. FAT FUCKS!! FAT MOTHERFUCKERS DIE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
You need to work on your spelling and writing skills, dude. -1 for that.
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2005-02-11 17:15:12 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Shagabah_Jones is the coolest name EVAR!@
Submitted by rad1101 (user info) at 2005-02-11 05:50:00 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Go fuck yourself
Submitted by consuelo212 (user info) at 2005-02-11 05:47:15 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
lololoolloolollool
Submitted by Gollman (user info) at 2005-02-11 05:32:04 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
too hard to read
Submitted by Shagabah_Jones (user info) at 2005-01-22 01:59:28 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I give it the +2 cause it pissed off alot of lardasses
but I give it a -2 because the web site messed it up and the sentences didn't run together
Submitted by Joemama (user info) at 2005-01-21 22:47:07 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Additional penalty for my 0
Submitted by Joemama (user info) at 2005-01-21 22:45:05 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
For +2ing yourself
Submitted by domenad (user info) at 2005-01-21 11:14:53 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
We here at Fat Pride take enjoyment in a good meal. We refer to ourselves as "the bountiful and the proud".
Submitted by knucklesnelson (user info) at 2005-01-21 10:27:29 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
cheeseburger
Submitted by WhatTheHell (user info) at 2005-01-21 10:23:24 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Jebus this was tough to read... oh, and it sucked.
I wish there was a -999,999,999,999,999,999,999,999,999,999,999,999,999,99,999,99,99,99,99,9
Submitted by Adamdidit2u (user info) at 2005-01-21 10:14:48 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
ha ha fat people -2'd you
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2005-01-21 10:10:07 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I am predispoded to easily become fat...yet I am svelte.
Fat people have no excuses.
Submitted by CaptainThorns (user info) at 2005-01-21 09:32:28 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
+2 for using the word "vaginal"
Submitted by ACIDTRIP (user info) at 2005-01-21 09:30:52 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
They said the same thing about Urkle; that little snot. Boy I'd like
to smack that kid.
-- Homer Simpson
Bart Gets Famous
Submitted by Jeanneee (user info) at 2005-01-21 08:20:05 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Submitted by ssj4yamcha (user info) at 2005-01-21 03:57:09 (#)
Ranking: 2
it's funny cause it's true.
--------------------------------
Submitted by dragonninja (user info) at 2005-01-21 08:03:20 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I bet all the -2's are from fat people who suck.
Submitted by Soley_Trinity (user info) at 2005-01-21 06:33:30 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
What the obese?
Submitted by daveybwoy (user info) at 2005-01-21 06:21:10 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
You forgot point 11 - Fat people can't spell
"Being tought takes disciple"
Good post tho.
Submitted by mrwolf (user info) at 2005-01-21 04:55:50 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I thought this was pretty fucking funny. Unless of course you're not really a fat person. In which case, bad form!
Submitted by Shagabah_Jones (user info) at 2005-01-21 04:52:33 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
It's amazing how many fat people hate this one.
You mean they mack on the booty too
Submitted by Calios (user info) at 2005-01-21 04:39:39 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
get fucked.
Submitted by earth_collapse (user info) at 2005-01-21 04:36:32 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Horrible.
Submitted by Burn (user info) at 2005-01-21 04:25:03 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Ah, fat people do suck.
Submitted by Wazza (user info) at 2005-01-21 04:22:06 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
What the hell man! if you look hard its hard to find,good in anyone,if you look easy its easy to find some good in all,.
Submitted by Chinaski (user info) at 2005-01-21 04:10:22 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
This is the worst post I've ever read.
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2005-01-21 04:08:53 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment
Submitted by ssj4yamcha (user info) at 2005-01-21 03:57:09 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
it's funny cause it's true.
Submitted by Joemama (user info) at 2005-01-21 03:55:52 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by Kent_Weirdo (user info) at 2005-01-21 03:55:29 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I thought that ambidextrous meant that you can use your left hand just as well as your right, and vice versa.