Romantic Disinterest: Always the Best Tactic (1151 hits)
Category: RomanceRating: 1.91 on 28 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by 1Point21Gigawatts (View user info) at 2005-01-21 12:20:20 EST
"Nah dude, I'm just going to chill and watch a movie tonight. I don't feel like being a third wheel."
Jim's words aggravated me. I really needed a wingman last night, but he wasn't up to the challenge.
"Why don't you just hook up with her, what's the big deal?" He later says.
"I don't feel like hooking up with her, she's not my type. Besides, I'm not attracted to her and she's hooked up with every guy in all of Port Jeff. Just not my thing." I respond. A convenient excuse, but not entirely true.
My statement was later confirmed at the bar, where she bumped into her friend Justin. I missed part of the conversation, since I was engaged in a different one. She looked over at me during her conversation with Justin, and pointed at me with a slick smile.
Later, I asked her what it was all about.
"Oh, Justin asked me if there was anyone I hadn't made out with. I told him you!"
It's true, Tessa and I have never hooked up. We've been friends for over four years, when my friend Luke started dating her friend Melissa and Tessa started dating my friend Don. Then, later, she started dating another one of my friends for a while. On top of that, I know about five other guys that have hooked up with her. She sounds like a slut, right?
Wrong. It's all circumstantial. She has probably hooked up with way less men than I have with women, but the difference is that she's always lived in the same town, so it makes her a more familiar face in the neighborhood. Her best friend is a little cum dumpster that I hooked up with once during a drunken splurge. Now that girl is a slut. People would think I was a slut if I hadn't lived in Boston, Vail, New Haven, and Long Island for varying periods.
Let me describe this woman to you. She is twenty-one, about five foot ten (seriously), has long, straight dark-brown hair, hazel eyes, tanned skin with a hint of olive from her Italian roots, a model's body, and sharp, striking facial features. She stands out like nobody can in a crowd. And I'm not attracted to her.
I don't know why. I must be the only man in her life that isn't attracted to her. At first, I thought that I was bothered by the fact that she has been with two good friends of mine, and I'm acquainted with five other men she's been with. But that's not it; I'm not very judgmental of someone's past, and on top of that, she told me last night that the last time she had sex with someone was last summer. Last summer! I'm pissed because the last time I had sex, it was with an annoying girl that I'm not into at all and I did it just to satisfy primary urges. That was only two weeks ago. So in terms of promiscuity, Tessa is way ahead of the game on me.
Well, what else could it be? Perhaps it has something to do with the fact that I need a woman that can challenge me mentally. I need someone with intelligence and good sense. Someone who is as good-looking as Tessa probably isn't intelligent, right? Wrong again, she outdid me on the SAT exam by 50 points, her GPA in college was better than mine, and she did it all while being more active in sports and extra curricular activities. And on top of that, when we hang out, the conversation flows like the Mississippi. We share similar political views, like the same authors and books, enjoy the same broad taste in music, and come from similar backgrounds.
I think, honestly, that the one thing that keeps me from being attracted to her is sheer intimidation. Aside from the fact that she is tall (she is one inch shorter than me, but she loves to wear sexy boots and heels that easily give her that inch back plus another to make her tower over me), she is also an attention grabber. When we go out, it seems like everybody is looking at her. It's tough to fill the shoes of the guy standing next to her.
I love hanging out with Tessa, and we go out all the time. When we go out, we have a blast. In the past six months, we've been enjoying the nightlife at least every other weekend together. And I've never shown interest in Tessa at all. Why? Why does it seem so hard for me to find an intelligent, attractive, and amiable woman, yet I'm not attracted to one right in front of me?
All of this boils down to one thing: she wants me. Not to sound like an arrogant prick, but the one sure thing in life, besides death and taxes, is that a woman wants a man who wants nothing to do with her romantically. It's the whole "want what you can't have syndrome" that seems to drive the love life of so many women. In the past six months of us hanging out, I have never gotten jealous if she talks to another guy, I have flirted with other girls in her presence, and all the while I've been a total gentleman to Tessa, always making sure to buy her drinks, get the car door for her, and say "bless you" when she sneezes. It must be driving her nuts that I don't want her.
I got drunk last night. Not stumbling drunk, not blacked-out drunk, but drunk enough. Tessa and I went out all over town, and any tailgating friends of ours had disappeared a little after midnight. We talked, we danced, we drank, and we reminisced. It was a great evening. She drove us up to my favorite late night burger joint, Tara's, and the owner, a good friend of mine, gave us free drinks with our burgers.
She drove me back to my car, and when I went to get out, she said "why don't you start it up and hop back in here, where it's warm, until she gets warmed up." She had me cornered - in the past I told her that being a sports car, it took my car a long time to warm up. I took her suggestion and hopped back in the warmth of her Jetta (yes, Jetta theory stays intact). We talked some more, and when I realized it was 4 AM and I had to get to work at 10 this morning, I forced myself to leave. There was this awkward moment where I leaned in to kiss her on the cheek, like I always do, and our lips ended up touching, but only briefly. She asked me to text her when I got back home so we could tell each other we arrived safely.
I guess I was drunker than I thought, because I was pretty shocked when I read the texts this morning. Here they are, word for word out of my Verizon phone.
Sent to: Tessa Cell
I had lots of fun, call
me tom, okay?
CB:
at 4:17 AM
Fr:Tessa Cell
You probably should
have kissed me
CB#:
at 4:18AM
Fri, Jan 21
Okay, what the fuck? Did that just come out of nowhere or what?
My response is even stranger.
Sent to: Tessa Cell
Sorry, i wanted
to kiss you.
CB:
at 4:18 AM
No I didn't. I must have been drunk and thought it would've been a good idea at the time.
Fr:Tessa Cell
Why didnt you...
CB#:
at 4:20 AM
Fri, Jan 21
Sent to: Tessa Cell
Because i'm shy.
did you get home
ok?
CB:
at 4:21 AM
Fr:Tessa Cell
Good?...im
home..you?
CB#:
at 4:22 AM
Fri, Jan 21
I don't really know what that message means. What's with the "Good?" Part?
Sent to: Tessa Cell
I shoudnt have gotten
out of your car.
CB:
at 4:24 AM
Fr:Tessa Cell
No..you def
shouldn't have...I
still love you....lol
CB#:
at 4:26 AM
Fri, Jan 21
Okay, obviously we should've been having sex at my place last night. It goes on briefly from there.
Sent to: Tessa Cell
When do you get
back from
snowboarding?
CB:
at 4:26 AM
Fr:Tessa Cell
Monday...
CB#:
at 4:28 AM
Fri, Jan 21
Sent to: Tessa Cell
Ok, i'll be in az.
call you when I
get back.
CB:
at 4:29 AM
Fr:Tessa Cell
I know..you get
back on?...well
hang out next
weekend...
CB#:
at 4:31 AM
Fri, Jan 21
I must have passed out, or I didn't realize she asked me a question about when I get back from Arizona. It's just strange the effects alcohol can have on a body. I don't think I have the upper hand anymore, since I revealed to her that I wanted to make out with her, even though in truth, I really didn't. Oh well, maybe we can actually continue to be good friends instead of fucking it all up by having sex with each other.
I bet it would be real good, though.
User Reviews
Submitted by Jungle_Jimanee (user info) at 2005-03-02 12:21:35 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
"All of this boils down to one thing: she wants me. Not to sound like an arrogant prick, but the one sure thing in life, besides death and taxes, is that a woman wants a man who wants nothing to do with her romantically. It's the whole "want what you can't have syndrome" that seems to drive the love life of so many women. In the past six months of us hanging out, I have never gotten jealous if she talks to another guy, I have flirted with other girls in her presence, and all the while I've been a total gentleman to Tessa, always making sure to buy her drinks, get the car door for her, and say "bless you" when she sneezes. It must be driving her nuts that I don't want her. "
Yep
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2005-01-21 16:48:07 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
women are easy to figure out. applicating the theories is more complex.
Submitted by HadToBeDone (user info) at 2005-01-21 16:33:59 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Submitted by GodLovesALittleLovin (user info) at 2005-01-21 12:53:24 (#)
Ranking: 2
fuck em and run Gig. Fuck 'em and run. That's what I do. Only two more days until I have officially had sex with every woman in Ohio and I get to leave this hellhole. Here I come Vermont!
-----------
You fucked my mom?
Good thing I beat you to it so I won't be sloppy seconds.
Submitted by Tastycat (user info) at 2005-01-21 16:32:17 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I'll fuck her if you don't want to. Hell, I'll even break her heart and then let you kick my ass for it so you can console her.
then you have "just got dumped" sex with her, and pass it off as she wanted to, and you just being friends again.
Everyone wins.
Submitted by Davros (user info) at 2005-01-21 16:12:12 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Keep it as "Just Friends" Gig.
It will be to your benefit in the long run.
-Dave
Submitted by jgreening (user info) at 2005-01-21 15:08:59 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by 1Point21Gigawatts (user info) at 2005-01-21 14:27:13 (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by TimeCop (user info) at 2005-01-21 14:15:48 (#)
Ranking: 2
I don't know why I'm giving this a plus 2. I can't put my finger on what exactly made this so great. It was great, but I have no fucking clue why...
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Strange, that's the same thing I said after the last time I was strip-searched at airport security.
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What TimeCop said is true.
What you said is just a tad distubing.
Submitted by ess-arr (user info) at 2005-01-21 15:03:30 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
some times a little alcohol can be the spark needed...
Submitted by MyNameIsTim (user info) at 2005-01-21 14:58:42 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
sweet story. two things:
when i was 10, i went to summer camp, and had an 11 year old 'thing' with this tall olive skinned girl named tessa, where we chased each other around and shit. i never saw her again after that week, but to this day, i still consider tessa one of the hottest names possible because of her.
jetta theory - fuckin solid.
Submitted by L-Gizzle (user info) at 2005-01-21 14:45:27 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Tell her u were drunk and didn't mean it, it may give u the upper hand again
------------------------------------
Don't know much about girls do you? Never admit that you did something just because you were drunk. That will piss her off and make her feel like an ass and will cause alot of trouble. No matter how cool she is (and this chick sounds very together) she'll be hurt by that sort of admission. Whether she actually expresses it or not.
------------------------------------
I'm an instigator. I live to start trouble.
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2005-01-21 14:44:30 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Don't say you were drunk - just don't say anything at ALL.
She'll be expecting YOU to make the first move, and as soon as you do, you're done. Dead. Game Over.
Just keep on doing what you were doing before, and you'll be fine.
At the very least, the tension will build until she explodes like an over-heated pressure cooker, and she forcibly manually deflowers you in the back of the Jetta - you lucky, lucky bastard you.
Submitted by 1Point21Gigawatts (user info) at 2005-01-21 14:27:13 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by TimeCop (user info) at 2005-01-21 14:15:48 (#)
Ranking: 2
I don't know why I'm giving this a plus 2. I can't put my finger on what exactly made this so great. It was great, but I have no fucking clue why...
-------------------------------------------------------------------------
Strange, that's the same thing I said after the last time I was strip-searched at airport security.
Submitted by TimeCop (user info) at 2005-01-21 14:15:48 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I don't know why I'm giving this a plus 2. I can't put my finger on what exactly made this so great. It was great, but I have no fucking clue why...
Submitted by Donitsu2002 (user info) at 2005-01-21 14:04:32 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by 1Point21Gigawatts (user info) at 2005-01-21 13:41:24 (#)
Ranking: 2
Update: I texted her back today, and told her that I would call her when I got back from AZ next Saturday. She replied by saying "have fun, come back with a nice tan."
What the hell, it's the dead of winter and I don't use tanning salons, excuse me for being pasty white!
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Woo! GO pasty White!
The two benefits of being as pale as I am would be: I'm invisible in the snow while stark naked and I can blind people who screw with me.
Submitted by 1Point21Gigawatts (user info) at 2005-01-21 13:41:24 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Update: I texted her back today, and told her that I would call her when I got back from AZ next Saturday. She replied by saying "have fun, come back with a nice tan."
What the hell, it's the dead of winter and I don't use tanning salons, excuse me for being pasty white!
Submitted by Smurfs (user info) at 2005-01-21 13:22:25 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
You want to hug her, you want to kissss her, you want to marrrry her
Submitted by CookieLass (user info) at 2005-01-21 13:20:02 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by L-Gizzle (user info) at 2005-01-21 12:55:01 (#)
Ranking: 2
Tell her u were drunk and didn't mean it, it may give u the upper hand again
------------------------------------
Don't know much about girls do you? Never admit that you did something just because you were drunk. That will piss her off and make her feel like an ass and will cause alot of trouble. No matter how cool she is (and this chick sounds very together) she'll be hurt by that sort of admission. Whether she actually expresses it or not.
Submitted by Sassmasterr (user info) at 2005-01-21 13:13:36 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by TigerLilly (user info) at 2005-01-21 12:55:00 (#)
Ranking: 2
Drunken text messages are the best.
Submitted by L-Gizzle (user info) at 2005-01-21 12:55:01 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Tell her u were drunk and didn't mean it, it may give u the upper hand again
Submitted by TigerLilly (user info) at 2005-01-21 12:55:00 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Drunken text messages are the best.
Submitted by GodLovesALittleLovin (user info) at 2005-01-21 12:53:24 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
fuck em and run Gig. Fuck 'em and run. That's what I do. Only two more days until I have officially had sex with every woman in Ohio and I get to leave this hellhole. Here I come Vermont!
Submitted by Pentameter (user info) at 2005-01-21 12:53:07 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Touchy situation.
Things like this are never easy. So many lines can be crossed with so few actions, but I'm sure you'll do the right thing.
Submitted by JMG114 (user info) at 2005-01-21 12:49:14 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I had a similar situation with a gal. Every guy who had ever seen her thought that she was the hottest thing around, and she was never without a boyfriend or date. She started coming on to me, and aside from an occasional hookup, there was really no interest in her on my part. Funny how things like that work out (or don't.)
Submitted by WhatTheHell (user info) at 2005-01-21 12:44:04 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I bet 1.2GW hates me ......
FOR THIS -- > http://www.ubersite.com/m/57327
Sorry gig....
GO GO GADGET LINKWHORE!!
Submitted by Geodescent (user info) at 2005-01-21 12:43:07 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
CookieLass is right.
Submitted by 1Point21Gigawatts (user info) at 2005-01-21 12:37:44 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by DonkeyOnTheEdge (user info) at 2005-01-21 12:34:25 (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Jeanneee (user info) at 2005-01-21 12:22:43 (#)
Ranking: 2
Go watch SpongeBob, homo.
_____________________________
Sorry, Doug, but that cracked me up.
-------------------------------------
Yeah, I liked that one myself
Submitted by DonkeyOnTheEdge (user info) at 2005-01-21 12:34:25 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Jeanneee (user info) at 2005-01-21 12:22:43 (#)
Ranking: 2
Go watch SpongeBob, homo.
_____________________________
Sorry, Doug, but that cracked me up.
Submitted by CookieLass (user info) at 2005-01-21 12:31:58 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Drunk sex with your friends is never a good idea, as I have found out recently. Best to come clean and leave well enough alone. Best part? You'll be back to being the guy who doesn't want her, but she'll think you secretly do thanks to your drunken text messages, so you'll once again be the stud in her eyes. Go get 'em, Tiger!
Submitted by Jeanneee (user info) at 2005-01-21 12:22:43 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Go watch SpongeBob, homo.