Most Uber Writing Isn't That Great (2395 hits)
Category: NoneRating: -0.13 on 113 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Enter The Midnight (View user info) at 2005-01-22 04:58:31 EST
Honestly, most of the people who seem to get high ratings for their writing aren't that great. The stories are banal, with very little description and contrived dialog. Not only this, but the plot is usually something completely predictable and utterly low on the scale of possible plots, either involving sex, drugs, alcohol, or something typical of high school and college students. Truth or fiction doesn't seem to matter. Whatever happened to the high standard of writing we hold our published authors to? If someone writes a trashy romance novel with bad descriptions of sex, a sparse plot, two-dimensional characters and gutter-level language, it ends up with horrible reviews and only sold at the bins in Dollar General. However, something trashy appears on Uber, and it makes most heated, best ever, and so on. The logic is baffling, if not outright absurd.
Now don't get me wrong. There are indeed some incredible writers on this site, who are capable of conveying emotion and description with an artful mastery of the English language, who create believeable characters and suspenseful or twisted plots. The point is that these people are few and far between, not every random user number sixteen million who slobbers on their keyboard.
What bothers me is the idea that just because someone who wrote something good in the past has posted something terrible today still gets high ratings because of name recognition. Furthermore, people rate a post high because it's about weed, or treating women like dirt, or some stupid drinking story. It might be funny, but rate it high because it's funny. Don't praise the writing, because most of it is total junk--laced with profanity in unrealistic places when a far better, more accurate word could be chosen (think of the word "fuck" and how something more exact and less uncouth could replace it), terrible subject matter, stiff dialog, choppy sentences, and authors taking "liberties" with the English language. Hemmingway can get away with destroying sentence structure and still sound masterful. Most Internet writers cannot--run-on sentences, rambling sentences, comma splices and sentence fragments do the writing absolutely no service, and only serve to make it that less readable.
Another irritating thing about most Uber writing is the length of most paragraphs. Every line is a paragraph, consisting of some two or three choppy, overly short and simplistic sentences. A paragraph is generally more than that, and get some variety! There are compound, complex, and compound-complex sentence structures, appositive phrases and noun clauses in the English grammar for a reason.
The poetry on this site is laughable, if not completely pathetic (in general). Some kid wearing black and chains cries because a girl he asked out rejected him, so he gets on Uber and spews some random stanzas about "darkness" and "guilt" and "death," with lines that have no meter, rhyme or coherence, and immediately he is a poet. Hardly! There is free verse poetry, yes, but the poetry must be extremely good to be of any quality as free verse. Free verse can be written with almost no thought if done improperly. At least form poetry requires thought and effort to get the meter and rhyme correct, and a good vocabulary is required to choose the proper words. Slapping together a bunch of sentences or even words does not constitute a poem--it constitutes a free-writing that can become a poem. I have seen perhaps ten good poems on this site since I've been here, out of the some countless number that must be rotting elsewhere.
General Internet posts are one thing, not subject to the rules of grammar and style. However, if you're classifying something as poetry or prose, make it decent. Let's get some standards and judge the writing accordingly, not based on who it is or just because it's on sex and drugs. A sex story can be well-written, as can a drug story. The problem is that hardly any of them are. We have so many people who are anal about posts having the correct spelling and grammar, but we will pass over every other rule of grammar when it comes to writing. The time has come to apply that standard to writing and filter out the bad writers on Uber, or give them constructive criticism so they may improve. For example, I've posted a bad story or two on Uber--after I got the feedback (which was actually quite negative) I improved my style and posted a different story, which got much higher ratings. But quit encouraging these horrible writers who spew dribble onto Uber and keep doing it because enough people give them +2's, hoping to get in their favor or auto +2ing it because it contains the word "balls."
P.S. Write. Literature needs you.
User Reviews
Submitted by Sherman (user info) at 2005-02-24 01:26:13 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment
Submitted by Snark (user info) at 2005-01-27 01:40:00 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
"Whatever happened to the high standard of writing we hold our published authors to?"
I think it's called having an editor...
Just a thought.
Submitted by ILL34GL3 (user info) at 2005-01-26 20:52:43 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Ha! Ha! Boogie Fevuh thinks people give a fuck about his opinions.
Good article. Someone needs to call these grabasstic pansies out on their bullshit. They're always gently carressing each others balls. Ubersite has some hardcore scrote nibblers.
Submitted by BoogieFevuh (user info) at 2005-01-26 03:49:53 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
You're very right, and you did this in a tasteful manner. You have my respect.
Submitted by Jo_of_the_golden_P (user info) at 2005-01-25 21:24:19 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
<linkwhore>
My POETREE kicks gratuitous amounts of ass!
http://www.ubersite.com/m/57720
Submitted by lucid (user info) at 2005-01-25 18:37:29 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
I'm giving this a -2 because I'm a dick, you're an ass and technically we could fuck.
Submitted by RyuFu (user info) at 2005-01-25 10:07:48 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I changed my mind. I think this is overall a 0 (worth reading).
Submitted by RyuFu (user info) at 2005-01-25 10:07:07 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Holy crap! Now I have to change my whole writing style!
Submitted by TheMidnight12AM (user info) at 2005-01-25 09:59:46 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Wazza cracks me up. He's like a less irritating version of Chris Evans.
Submitted by AsshOly (user info) at 2005-01-25 03:29:54 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Absolutely correct.
Submitted by Shaun_Rocks (user info) at 2005-01-25 03:10:28 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Look, I'm expressing how I really feel about someone's writing!
(Sorry if someone already posted this same sort of comment)
Submitted by Wazza (user info) at 2005-01-25 02:44:11 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Yessssss, well i think that because you have all of us poor uneducated morons interest at heart, and that you are so super intelligent ,and well versed , you will out of the pure generosity of you kind heart put up everyday a lesson in punctuation and spelling ,and how to write.
I am sure we will all follow your lead every day .
By the way i am not trying to be sarcastic. Lead on Mc Duff!
Submitted by TheMidnight12AM (user info) at 2005-01-25 01:22:33 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
This one is the first one that's really irritated enough people to make most heated. Probably the last too. I'm done with the junk--I'm probably going to post either fiction or non-fiction writing from now on, with the occasional rant.
Submitted by shandythedog (user info) at 2005-01-25 01:11:18 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
fair enough then
you succeeded in making me mildly irritated - not so much by the content as by the way it was expressed.
Submitted by TheMidnight12AM (user info) at 2005-01-25 01:03:20 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
This isn't designed to be logical or good. Every post I do (with the exception of my fiction and philosophy posts) is designed to see how irritated I can make the people who disagree. Most of what I do on here is just an experiment.
Submitted by shandythedog (user info) at 2005-01-25 00:38:54 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
also illogical and poorly written
example of being poorly written: "We have so many people who are anal about posts having the correct spelling and grammar, but we will pass over every other rule of grammar when it comes to writing." What the FUCK does this mean?
example of being illogical: you (quite correctly) point out that uber ratings do not have much relevance to writing quality. but then you go on to say how uber ratings correctly identified your initial 'bad' posts, and thanks to that you now write 'good' posts. as evidence that they are good, you point to their improved ratings. can't you see how absurd this is?
Submitted by shandythedog (user info) at 2005-01-25 00:05:11 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
banal
Submitted by peckerhead (user info) at 2005-01-24 19:19:39 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
This was a tough call for me. Part of me was saying, "Don't agree with Midnight on this; it will intimidate people and they will become less spontaneous. Worse than that, the type of posts that I have found damn funny might disappear." However, Midnight makes some good points like people herd-voting and kissing ass to make points with their friends here. Also, Midnight's post is well written; I personally enjoy reading at this level. I think the net result of us reading Midnight's post will be positive and good for ubersite. But then again, I always was a bit of a peckerhead :-)
Submitted by Adamdidit2u (user info) at 2005-01-24 16:59:29 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
If TonyMontana agrees with you it must be wrong
Submitted by TonyMontana (user info) at 2005-01-24 16:55:53 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
hey Polyfag AJ, I come to this site out of boredom. Just because it alleviates my boredom every once in a while does not make any of the stuff here any good. In fact, most of it sucks ass, and if I feel like saying so, I will. What the fuck are you going to do about it? Nothing. Now go back to not being successful.
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2005-01-24 15:24:41 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Submitted by TonyMontana (user info) at 2005-01-23 22:32:17 (#)
Ranking: 2
perfectly said. most of the "authors" on this site are morons with little or no formal education and try to pawn off their drinking anecdotes as something that's praise worthy. And the reason these tools write in one sentence paragraphs is because they realize the attention span of their fellow dolts borders on non-existence so they have to space things out in an effort to retain their attention.
____
wtf Tony Im not reading all that
Submitted by richsghostdog (user info) at 2005-01-24 15:18:53 EST (#)
Ranking: -1
As long as its interesting/true/ironic or just plain funny bullshit I don't care if its written on toilet paper with a crayon.I don't even look at the author's name, I rate on content. Freedom of expression rules! This ain't your momma's english class.
Submitted by Loren1 (user info) at 2005-01-24 11:43:28 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Holding a grudge against a dog is futile.
And you don't think that tidbit of wisdom is pure, unadulterated genius? Phffffffff.
Submitted by KBCommando (user info) at 2005-01-24 11:34:50 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I think we can all agree on what you are saying. The trouble is that this IS a public forum, unattached to the rigors and hardships of printed publishing. If the point were to weed out crappy writers, there would be some sort of membership requirement and/or a screening process. Some of the posts are less than stellar but funny and in the meantime, you might discover a writer with real potential. I'll try not to give shout-outs but I have read some awesome work on Uber. Why not give everyone a chance to express themselves? If you hate it, just move on.
Submitted by WillZone (user info) at 2005-01-24 11:08:59 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
For such a long uber-bashing diatribe I'm surprised you don't even have the guts to name names.
Who do you like?
This just comes across as someone who didn't get respect they thought they deserved. And this post in no way adds to the "very few decent posts" we have here...
so thanks for adding to the shitpile that is ubersite!
-Will
Submitted by Smurfs (user info) at 2005-01-24 10:58:54 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
"Whatever happened to the high standard of writing we hold our published authors to?"
They get paid... I do this in 30 minutes or less or your money back
If bart started offering cash prizes now....
Submitted by Jeanneee (user info) at 2005-01-24 08:23:22 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Wazza (user info) at 2005-01-24 04:03:42 (#)
Ranking: 0
what the hell man if they are comin at ya ,means they want somthin,more better you look after them and care for them,than they get on the street uh?
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2005-01-24 06:34:13 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Circe (user info) at 2005-01-22 05:57:55 (#)
Ranking: 0
And?
Most of us don't have any illusions about ourselves, you know. Quite a few of us - myself included - are in it for shits and giggles.
I know I'm not the reincarnation of Steinbeck, so what say you let me post my crappy Dr Suess knockoff poetry in peace? """
Speak for yourself, I rule.
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2005-01-24 06:06:45 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by TonyMontana (user info) at 2005-01-23 22:32:17 (#)
Ranking: 2
perfectly said. most of the "authors" on this site are morons with little or no formal education and try to pawn off their drinking anecdotes as something that's praise worthy. And the reason these tools write in one sentence paragraphs is because they realize the attention span of their fellow dolts borders on non-existence so they have to space things out in an effort to retain their attention.
Submitted by ALTUS (user info) at 2005-01-24 04:59:09 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Hemmingway is a hack, just like you
eat shit and die
Submitted by Wazza (user info) at 2005-01-24 04:03:42 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
what the hell man if they are comin at ya ,means they want somthin,more better you look after them and care for them,than they get on the street uh?
Submitted by bart (user info) at 2005-01-24 03:06:49 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
You can't compare Ubersite posts to published novels. Sure, the quality of writing in a published novel may be better than that in an Ubersite post, but then again, there aren't many novelists who write a new novel every day.
It may be a little more fair to make a comparison to newspaper or magazine writers, but have you ever read the garbage these people write? There are probably a hundred different people on this site whose stuff I would rather read than any article in Maxim. Things here are more interesting, more real, and other people can have a direct impact on their entertainment value through rating and commenting.
Besides, it's all relative. Millions of people turn on their televisions to watch garbage like American Idol and COPS. Just because I think those shows are garbage, does that mean they're garbage? Well, in this particular case, yes I'm right, but as a general statement, people are entitled to their opinions.
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2005-01-23 23:09:35 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by TonyMontana (user info) at 2005-01-23 22:32:17 (#)
Ranking: 2
... the reason these tools write in one sentence paragraphs is because they realize the attention span of their fellow dolts borders on non-existence so they have to space things out in an effort to retain their attention.
--
I disagree*. Ubervolk have wonderful attention spans!
*Find the irony in this statement and win a prize!
Submitted by polyamorousaj (user info) at 2005-01-23 22:57:01 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by TonyMontana (user info) at 2005-01-23 22:32:17 (#)
Ranking: 2
perfectly said. most of the "authors" on this site are morons with little or no formal education and try to pawn off their drinking anecdotes as something that's praise worthy. And the reason these tools write in one sentence paragraphs is because they realize the attention span of their fellow dolts borders on non-existence so they have to space things out in an effort to retain their attention.
***
Then why are you still here?
Jesus Christ, man. No one on here claims to be anything they're not. If they do they're usually ostracized for it and rooted out pretty quickly. See iddqd for more reference.
If you think the site sucks so much then WHY THE BLUE FUCK ARE YOU STILL HERE? You bitch more than anyone on this site, I swear to God. If you don't like how things are here just fucking leave. Quit spouting your negativity every chance you get you venomous, needle-dicked fuckhead.
Submitted by TonyMontana (user info) at 2005-01-23 22:32:17 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
perfectly said. most of the "authors" on this site are morons with little or no formal education and try to pawn off their drinking anecdotes as something that's praise worthy. And the reason these tools write in one sentence paragraphs is because they realize the attention span of their fellow dolts borders on non-existence so they have to space things out in an effort to retain their attention.
Submitted by DanielH (user info) at 2005-01-23 22:18:10 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
You could make the same argument for all modern and post-mod lit in general. Professional reviewers write basically what you just wrote every day. Read the lit supplement in the New York Times which comes out in every Sunday issue.
Their -2s cut a bit deeper than ours. (Just not as funny.) And this isn't a lit site, it's a site that sometimes has quality lit.
Submitted by girlintheworld (user info) at 2005-01-23 21:29:30 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
And your point is?
Submitted by ParlorTrick (user info) at 2005-01-23 17:54:30 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Corn N is a funny girl!
Submitted by Creepy_guy (user info) at 2005-01-23 17:20:38 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Ubersite is a place to find entertainment. Plain and simple. If I read something that I find to be good, I'll rate it as such and leave a nice comment. If I find something I don't like, I'll rate it as such and maybe be a jerk (because I AM a jerk). That is really all this site is.
There have been many, many posts about grammer/humor/abilities of the authors of Ubersite, but in the end, it doesn't really matter how the paragraphs are formed, how the words are spelled (to a point) or whatever. As long as a post is good, THAT is what matters. The point that has to be made about THAT however, is that everyone has a different opinion of what is GOOD. It all comes down to personal opinion in the end.
Submitted by corn_nugget (user info) at 2005-01-23 14:08:01 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
+2 for using the word "balls"!
Submitted by TheMidnight12AM (user info) at 2005-01-23 02:24:14 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Wazza (user info) at 2005-01-23 02:18:23 (#)
Ranking: 0
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH, All that this fuck wit ,cunt is doing is turning all of you against each other!Mr Peter Perfect has his little plot wake up and dont read his shit .If for that matter everything was that ,or had to be so perfect ,no one would be laughing,. and i can tell you i get alotta kicks outa uber. ha ha ha ha .so fuck you mr Peter Perfect.
============================================
What the hell man, I'm comin at ya, means I gotta take care of ya?
Submitted by Wazza (user info) at 2005-01-23 02:18:23 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH, All that this fuck wit ,cunt is doing is turning all of you against each other!Mr Peter Perfect has his little plot wake up and dont read his shit .If for that matter everything was that ,or had to be so perfect ,no one would be laughing,. and i can tell you i get alotta kicks outa uber. ha ha ha ha .so fuck you mr Peter Perfect.
Submitted by TheMidnight12AM (user info) at 2005-01-23 02:16:29 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Bwahaha! This is still going?
Submitted by Rawrg (user info) at 2005-01-23 02:09:31 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Well thought out and very true piece, so I'm giving you +2.
I disagree however about the style of writing. Sometimes the simplistic style fits the nature of the article. Other times, perfect grammar is required. It all depends on the context. I think that the rating systems are based on how much the readers enjoyed the piece rather than the grammatical precision in which it was written.
Submitted by Tigre (user info) at 2005-01-23 00:12:34 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Blah blah blah, Dollar General, blahblahblah.
Submitted by FunnyAsCancer (user info) at 2005-01-22 23:47:36 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
I was with you up until the paragraph-length...paragraph. Personally, I don't think paragraphs need to be more than one sentence, if the situation calls for it. I.e.,
"...They didn't believe in you during your time of need.
I did."
I like the emphasis on just those two words. It clarifies your point and makes it seem all the more stronger. Granted, that's probably not the best example, but I'm not gonna write Shakespeare just for this.
But yes, some paragraphs are just not necessary. I.e.,
"I needed to go to the store and get some eggs.
I got them for $2.99."
That use of paragraphs is pointless, stupid, and why you're getting a +1. Don't question it.
Submitted by HadToBeDone (user info) at 2005-01-22 23:13:06 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I will give you a 0 because you wasted your life writing this.
And on another note....
-------------
Submitted by Shagabah_Jones (user info) at 2005-01-22 05:44:46 (#)
Ranking: -2
Nobody who doesn't have a thumb up their ass cares...
sorry if it's mean but it had to be done.
-------------
Quit name-dropping, fool!
Submitted by jack11058 (user info) at 2005-01-22 23:06:28 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Do you mean the writers who spew drivel? Or is spewing dribble the new thing? And if you are going to cite Hemmingway {sic} in your post, you should at least spell his name right.
Get bent.
How's that for a short paragraph?
Submitted by ParlorTrick (user info) at 2005-01-22 22:53:29 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Helpful, although needlessly abrasive (which is another problem to discuss at a later time perhaps).
Submitted by kai070169 (user info) at 2005-01-22 19:45:28 EST (#)
Ranking: -1
No shit Sherlock, this place is the digital equivalent to a bathroom wall at the greyhound bus station, and as such I think the writing is excellent and uncontrived (for the most part). Plus, the regular users are all quite well aquainted, and quality is secondary to the post's actual entertainment value, literary quality be damned. I have 130,000 hits, and I rule.
Do a google search for "Wheelchair Weed'. Ubersite helped me make my mark on the digital planet!
Be grateful for what ya get or fuck off.
Submitted by thecaes (user info) at 2005-01-22 19:28:03 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
+1 because you had an (obviously) unpopular point to made, and you made it.
I agree with what you said, but as other people have mentioned, this isn't really a hoity-toity writer's forum up in heee-ahhh. I appreciate your frustration; it's annoying when you're scouring Uber for a good story but come up empty; but if you're looking for good poetry or fiction, you're better off checking out a site that specializes in that sort of thing.
Submitted by Auf-Der-Maur (user info) at 2005-01-22 19:19:42 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
I agree, there are too many lame posts like "Jesus and me rape donkey fuckers" or "Ninjas and me rape McDonalds workers with swords for fun" or "Me, jesus, and the three ninjas rape satan and jesus while fucking jesus"
Submitted by Slypher (user info) at 2005-01-22 17:29:46 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Quit taking it so seriously. Almost no one else does.
Submitted by NerfHerder (user info) at 2005-01-22 17:26:38 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Meh.
I enjoy what I write (especially recently) and I think others do too. If I got nothing out of Uber other than that, I'd still be happy.
But then again, you've never rated one of my posts, so I figure this post isn't necessarily directed at me.
Submitted by chicagogirl (user info) at 2005-01-22 16:58:03 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Hemingway sucks fucking cuba lover.
Submitted by TheMidnight12AM (user info) at 2005-01-22 16:52:50 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
HEAT HEAT HEAT.
Hey, it's cold here.
Submitted by Bigmike (user info) at 2005-01-22 16:31:42 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I come here to write.
If I want to waste time I go to PokerStars.com
Submitted by TheSpook (user info) at 2005-01-22 15:28:09 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Blah fucking blah. Who cares?
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2005-01-22 14:42:36 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
http://www.ubersite.com/m/40583
I recommend this one, for starters. They can't get much worse, that's for sure.
Submitted by Merlina (user info) at 2005-01-22 14:34:29 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Hilarious hmm?
I think I'll take a look at your back catalogue now.
Lets see.........
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2005-01-22 14:29:10 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Submitted by Merlina (user info) at 2005-01-22 14:12:44 (#)
Ranking: 0
ok Schlongy - if thats true fair enough I guess. To be honest I've only read your recent ones and to be honest even you'll admit your one about not having anything to say was not exactly literature. However, I've not read back at your old stuff and tend to remember you more for your comments to others. So I'll take that comment back until I've read the rest of your posts.
But there are some good things written here. And funny. I've been at work damn near wetting myself laughing at some stories, some put downs and even some alters. As someone said earlier - if you want literature - buy a book.
This (ubersite) is unique.
Merlina- You should read my back catalog. But that's all a bunch of shit, too.
I'm just telling you that I have been published...As a reporter. My fiction work, well...it's non existant. But I'm hilarious.
So , can we do it, or what?
Submitted by Dustbrother (user info) at 2005-01-22 14:22:48 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
It's okay. He's just admiring the shape of your skull.
Submitted by electrictoothsyndrome (user info) at 2005-01-22 14:19:47 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I don't know about the rest of you fucks, but I am here because this, for me, is a jumping off point, a gathering together of my minions in my quest to fulfill the ancient prophesy and avenge my fallen brethren!
...and in the meantime, while I am waiting around for the prophesy to show me the way, I tend to get bored so I post crap.
There you have it.
Submitted by Merlina (user info) at 2005-01-22 14:12:44 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
ok Schlongy - if thats true fair enough I guess. To be honest I've only read your recent ones and to be honest even you'll admit your one about not having anything to say was not exactly literature. However, I've not read back at your old stuff and tend to remember you more for your comments to others. So I'll take that comment back until I've read the rest of your posts.
But there are some good things written here. And funny. I've been at work damn near wetting myself laughing at some stories, some put downs and even some alters. As someone said earlier - if you want literature - buy a book.
This (ubersite) is unique.
Submitted by Genko (user info) at 2005-01-22 14:12:31 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Couldn't agree more.
A long time ago, there was a guy here named iddqd who put plenty of time and effort into his stories. They were reasonably good "for Uber", but not especially notable. What was notable about him was that he was constantly asking for criticism, advice, anything to make his work better. He ended up leaving because of the structure of Uber: you can post anything you want, and as long as it has some evidence of effort/emotion, it'll get +2s out the ass, and anybody who rates honestly will lose their rating ability or have their own work belittled as a result.
We're not all going to be professional writers. Most of us aren't even going to be talented ones. The best thing we can do is get the fuck over ourselves and try to make each other better. The only time that will ever happens is the time when we can honestly say that we only give +2s to things that truly are "kickers of all ass".
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2005-01-22 13:50:59 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Scott_James (user info) at 2005-01-22 09:47:29 (#)
Ranking: 0
Personally, I take great delight in being a below-average writer on a site where 99% of users are astoundingly bad. That said, there are a few gems here on the site: Razor, JMG, Shitfuck, Sideburns, FilthyAssistant, Jack McCallum, Circe, Coyote, Jimbo, Sideburns, AJ and Murphy to name a few.
--
1- Thanks
2-"Below-average" ...? I think not.
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2005-01-22 13:49:13 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by FilthyAssistant (user info) at 2005-01-22 07:41:22 (#)
Ranking: 0
P.S. Hemmingway couldn't write for shit. I could rant on this subject for days if need be.
--
Don't take this the wrong way, but your mind is HOT!
(Oh, and +2 for this rant.)
Submitted by darko (user info) at 2005-01-22 13:36:20 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Clearly you haven't read http://www.ubersite.com/m/52990 if you are ripping into the poetry on this site.
That said you have a good rant going, but then you tell us to write. People will gte better the more they write. But yes people do rate based on past accomplishments. This is the same reason people went to see terminator 3. Sure it might not be very good, but it's recognition for what happened in the past.
Submitted by professorfuckface (user info) at 2005-01-22 13:16:00 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2005-01-22 13:15:05 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
fucktard- Yeah. You did it again. You "read me like a book".
Like a "Dick and Jane" book, you fucking imbecile.
That post of yours got a +2 because I LIKED IT. No other reason, Dr. Venckman.
I also gave one of your recent posts a +1.
Analyze why it was a 1 and not a 2 for me, you fucking coward.
And please, make that sound a chicken makes for me. I like when you do that. Dipshit.
PS. When would you like me to kick the shit out of you? I'd kill you.
Submitted by professorfuckface (user info) at 2005-01-22 13:11:01 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
And shlongy, you are so full of fucking bullshit. You say you are unbiased, but from the way you rate it is apparent that that is complete shit. Posts of mine that you've +2ed: a post containing a whole lot of pictures of shit and a post about crappy merchandise. You only +2ed them because their scores weren't that high when you read them. Good old rebellious shlongy, you only rate a post against the norm, the rest of my posts you gave negative scores without even reading them, so don't act all high and mighty non-impartial adjudicator, you are just a troll, so shut the fuck up you old mullet.
Submitted by Schwarzes_Glas (user info) at 2005-01-22 13:02:53 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
oops. your. here, take a +2.
Submitted by Schwarzes_Glas (user info) at 2005-01-22 13:02:17 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
+1 because you're right.
-1 because you're writing is just as suck shit and pretentious as some others.
Submitted by sg11588 (user info) at 2005-01-22 13:00:01 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Right....because we all joined Ubersite to be hailed as great authors.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2005-01-22 12:58:54 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
I play no favorites and take every post as an individual entity.
That is why total chickenshit assholes like fuckface and even Habeeb have managed to get a +2 from me- when they deserve it- and guys who truly ARE interesting and quasi-original like an espo or CBG have received minus ratings from me.
As for Merlina...
Submitted by Merlina (user info) at 2005-01-22 09:38:40 (#)
Ranking: 0
Actually yes, name names indeed. Write a list up of Uberers for example..
Schlongy: amusing but not going to ever be publishable
Apollo: good writing if you are strange enough yourself to understand him
Circe: Insightful
Chris Evans: pointless to Uber (don't bother clicking on if you like literature.
etc etc.
I have been "published" on more than one occasion. I have previously had a byline in a daily newspaper and my most recent addition to my portfolio was in the 2004 Rochester Red Wings Game Program.
So there.
Submitted by professorfuckface (user info) at 2005-01-22 12:51:58 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
How TheMidnight12AM has rated other users
Sideburns (user info) 14 on 7 = 2.00
Well there goes your fucking integrity. I thought we might have been on the same level, but obviously you love shit writing just as much as the rest of them.
Submitted by professorfuckface (user info) at 2005-01-22 12:49:42 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
"situations"
I wouldn't bother to fix that, except that most halfwits on this site would read that and say "gaaaaahick, you done say shit about other peoples' stuff and y'alllll can't even spell sishushuan right."
Submitted by Sassmasterr (user info) at 2005-01-22 12:47:42 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
i forget who, but someone said they're in it for shits and giggles.
you have to remember the majority of us are bored off our asses with nothing to do. talentless? yes. but there's a lot of funny shit here.
Submitted by professorfuckface (user info) at 2005-01-22 12:45:44 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Couldn't have said it better myself. These stories are shit and they deserve to be deleted rather than praised. But if you want to read decent fiction, read a published novel. There is no way these amateurs could attain that level of writing skill because every time they write some lame, double line spaced piece of shit it is given praise on the technicality that there are no grammatical errors in it. I don't think many of the readers on the site understand the difference between writing skill and basical grammar skill, therefore a 300 word story, double line spaced and ran through spellcheck and grammar check a couple of times might look appealing. I got my ratings taken away because I gave every shit story cast from the mold of shitty stories a negative rating. If you encourage bland writing the writer's ego balloons and they think they are onto a good format, and they keep submitting the exact same post over and over with the 2D characters slightly altered and the main punchline borrowed from a different TV show. If you give posts like those negative scores, you get your ratings taken away.
So, if you are into literature, just read sideburns/zod/whatever and laugh. Laugh at the basic concepts they just can't seem to grasp and the metaphors they use in the wrong sitauations. Watching these "authors" is like watching a retard trying to do math, only in this case the retards think they are actually good at what they are doing, meanwhile a whole different bunch of retards are cheering them on. If you don't like the stories, you are better off just not rating them, because if you rate sideburns or whoever with a -2 or -1 like I did, he will e-mail bart and have your ratings taken away. These people don't understand they need to change themselves, not everyone else.
Submitted by williamson (user info) at 2005-01-22 12:40:17 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
That is why god (bart) gave you the right to simply -2 it if you don't like their writing.
I shall exercise that right now.
Submitted by TheMidnight12AM (user info) at 2005-01-22 12:33:53 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Well, looks like I struck a nerve with another one of my attempts at hit-whoring.
1) right wing politics
2) religion
3) writing
You people are so easy to piss off.
Submitted by wanderingsharps (user info) at 2005-01-22 12:27:29 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
yah know, I write well most of the time,
and it used to bother me that well put together stuff
I had written didn't do so well.
You have to remember that people go here to have fun.
sometimes you feel like reading a three page story,
sometimes you just want a good luagh.
write becuase you want to.
bitch to piss me off...
Submitted by mystiamoon (user info) at 2005-01-22 12:19:53 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
I'm literally snowed in my house, the snow drifts are so high that my porch is no longer even visable, and you're bitching about the quality of writing on a free website and comparing it to buyable published works?
-2DIE
Submitted by Degreeless_Capibara (user info) at 2005-01-22 12:18:09 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
You can't tell me Rape Post Sunday wasn't the best collection of literature you've seen since J.D. Salinger, can you?
Submitted by AlwaysAnEagle (user info) at 2005-01-22 11:54:31 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
And in other news, the Pope is Catholic.
Everything else has been said.
Submitted by TheRef (user info) at 2005-01-22 11:32:43 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
duh
-2die
here's great literature assklown:http://www.ubersite.com/m/14188
Submitted by mrwolf (user info) at 2005-01-22 11:13:01 EST (#)
Ranking: -1
You'll never find a "Writing forum", because there are no secret little clubs that can stop the riffraff. And if there was, the riffraff would go straight to them and find a way in.
Ubersite has some wonderful writers on it. And I'm pretty sure not one of them is doing it for a publishing deal. As has already been said we are bored at work; we are from all kinds of backgrounds and therefore some of us can write coherently with sentences and paragraphs. Some of us can't write for toffee.
Either way I will +2 anything that makes me laugh regardless of how well written it is, and I will plus2 some stuff just simply because I feel the writing is clever. There is no point being a wordy over literate pompous cunt anywhere in life. Least of all Uber.
Your writing is strong, your point is tired, you attitude is poorly placed, you heart is in the right place.
I can't plus and minus you for each of those points because neither you nor I is a robot. My overall feeling is that out of the 4 points I can give you you deserve a minus1.
Submitted by polyamorousaj (user info) at 2005-01-22 11:11:56 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Thanks, Scott.
You aren't so bad yourself. ;)
I agree with everything everyone's said so far.
You want a strictly writing forum? http://www.pulsehead.com
There ya go.
They're out there. If it's something you want, you're better off finding it yourself than trying to change a whole web-community.
Submitted by lojope (user info) at 2005-01-22 10:22:48 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
True enough, but whatever happened to just having a good time? Uber is like going to a karaoke bar. Very few of the people who karaoke can actually sing, but they go up and do it anyway. Why? Because it's fun. If you aren't amused by amature singers goofing around, you wouldn't go to a karaoke bar. If you aren't amused by amature writers goofing around, don't come to Uber.
As a side note, occasionally a fabulous singer will pop up and do a song, and it's a pleasant, enjoyable surprise. The same thing happens here. There is, for the most part, at least one gem a day on uber, if you are willing to look.
Submitted by Feijuada (user info) at 2005-01-22 10:13:54 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Go to the bookstore and buy a fucking book if you want quality writing.
Submitted by VodkaFace (user info) at 2005-01-22 10:05:51 EST (#)
Ranking: -1
You know, as soon as I red this post, I went back and read some of your other stuff. Not impressive by any standard, much less the one you set here.
And yes, as stated by others on this post, people post on this site because they're bored, not because they're out to impress you.
Submitted by spedmonkey (user info) at 2005-01-22 09:50:33 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
This is going to hit most heated, ironically, but regardless, it is true. But so are the arguments made by many of the other people: you want 100% quality writing? Go out and buy some literature. Around here, much of what you get is what you pay for, and many aren't here to write a great story. I know I, for one, enjoy the cheap laughs as much as, if not more than, the fiction. Really, if it makes me laugh, it's accomplished its goal, so I give it a high rating. That's basically what it boils down to, and posts like this don't really help your cause at all.
Submitted by MickGinny (user info) at 2005-01-22 09:50:28 EST (#)
Ranking: -1
I agree w/ most of what you say here...but it is hard not to agree when you state the obvious... Quite ironic considering the subject matter.
One point that I have to take issue with is your low opinion of the word fuck.
Fuck is universal. It is omnifarious. It is beautiful.
Submitted by Scott_James (user info) at 2005-01-22 09:47:29 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Personally, I take great delight in being a below-average writer on a site where 99% of users are astoundingly bad. That said, there are a few gems here on the site: Razor, JMG, Shitfuck, Sideburns, FilthyAssistant, Jack McCallum, Circe, Coyote, Jimbo, Sideburns, AJ and Murphy to name a few.
Submitted by AwesomeJohnson (user info) at 2005-01-22 09:43:34 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Honestly, I don't think I suck, but I agree with pretty much everything you wrote.
Also, Cinnamon Toast Crunch Cereal bars were forged by god himself.
Submitted by MANICMOTHER (user info) at 2005-01-22 09:41:56 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Of course the writing isn't great here. It's not like some sort of literary enclave. We're just a bunch of people with not much else to do who have found others like them to banter with. If you are looking for literary greats go some where else, but if you are looking for someone to banter with you'll find it here. If you are looking to relieve some stress of the day you'll find it here. Some of our posters have a great feel for writing, write beautiful posts in fact but in the same breath they can write the most obnixious things they can think of. Man cannot be rigid in everything. Even the most wonderful writer has come up with a dirty poem, a bitchy manifesto, or just is just plain nuts when they listen to their muse. I would not openly flaunt your disgust of the other less than well writen posts. These people will eat you alive.
Submitted by Merlina (user info) at 2005-01-22 09:38:40 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Actually yes, name names indeed. Write a list up of Uberers for example..
Schlongy: amusing but not going to ever be publishable
Apollo: good writing if you are strange enough yourself to understand him
Circe: Insightful
Chris Evans: pointless to Uber (don't bother clicking on if you like literature.
etc etc.
THEN I'll listen to you.
You have a point but don't tar all with the same brush.
Submitted by polyamorousaj (user info) at 2005-01-22 09:29:31 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Scott, where've you been you bastard?
Submitted by Scott_James (user info) at 2005-01-22 09:26:44 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by polyamorousaj (user info) at 2005-01-22 08:50:16 (#)
Ranking: 0
Name names.
Submitted by someone (user info) at 2005-01-22 08:53:23 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Submitted by FilthyAssistant (user info) at 2005-01-22 07:41:22 (#)
Ranking: 0
Now tell us something we don't know.
You've completely overlooked the fact that 99.9% of uberers are here because they're at work and bored out of their fucking gourd. Nobody is trying to get a publishing deal and nobody has their average rating printed on a t-shirt. This is a place to kill time. It's literary Minesweeper - sometimes you get a bomb, sometimes you plant a flag.
-----
I pretty much figured this out a few days ago. This isn't a writing forum as much as a time killer.
Submitted by polyamorousaj (user info) at 2005-01-22 08:50:16 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Name names.
Submitted by pen_name (user info) at 2005-01-22 08:22:38 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
despising social etiquette and imploring use of appositive phrases = auto +2
Submitted by FilthyAssistant (user info) at 2005-01-22 07:41:22 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Now tell us something we don't know.
You've completely overlooked the fact that 99.9% of uberers are here because they're at work and bored out of their fucking gourd. Nobody is trying to get a publishing deal and nobody has their average rating printed on a t-shirt. This is a place to kill time. It's literary Minesweeper - sometimes you get a bomb, sometimes you plant a flag.
P.S. Hemmingway couldn't write for shit. I could rant on this subject for days if need be.
Submitted by shitfuck (user info) at 2005-01-22 06:40:55 EST (#)
Ranking: -1
The world's getting dumber so I'm just trying to fit in before down sizing gets me and I end up parsing sentences for the fucking New Yorker.
Submitted by tuesdaydelay (user info) at 2005-01-22 06:25:42 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Sad but true.
Submitted by ahrcee (user info) at 2005-01-22 06:11:09 EST (#)
Ranking: -1
It'd be crazy to suggest that everyone here was a talented writer. I know I'm not. Or that everyone uses this site to show off their writing prowess. I know I don't. So what's your point caller?
In summary:
Article too long and lacking any originality. Quickly lost interest.
Submitted by earth_collapse (user info) at 2005-01-22 06:09:46 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Agreed.
------
I am a horrible writer. I understand that.
Yet, I post to post. I'm not trying to please you. I don't want to be the epiphany of great writing. I just want to write. And if you want to dedicate a whole post to downgrading the level of sophistication in creative writing found on this site, then, great. Just don't rub inadequacy in my face.
I think the majority of creative/poetical writers on this site realize they are horrible writers.
-----
It a shame people sometimes rate based on social stature.
Submitted by Circe (user info) at 2005-01-22 05:57:55 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
And?
Most of us don't have any illusions about ourselves, you know. Quite a few of us - myself included - are in it for shits and giggles.
I know I'm not the reincarnation of Steinbeck, so what say you let me post my crappy Dr Suess knockoff poetry in peace?
Submitted by Shagabah_Jones (user info) at 2005-01-22 05:44:46 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Nobody who doesn't have a thumb up their ass cares...
sorry if it's mean but it had to be done.
Submitted by blujnbbyqn (user info) at 2005-01-22 05:29:45 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Sure, sure, we've all read Prf S's Elements of Style. Whine all you want. Scream if it pleases you. Rant and rave, bitch and moan. All for naught my dear midnight, all for nada.
Ubersite is an entity unto itself. You can wish all you want that proper regulations remain true but remember that you would not have seen much of what you admire if constraints or etiquitte had been observed. Plow through the chaff in search of the grain. It will sustain you.
Michelle
Submitted by gabrielpm (user info) at 2005-01-22 05:22:18 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Impassive-Digressive (user info) at 2005-01-22 05:18:16 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I don't disagree with you, in fact, I would concur that there are a lot of people on this site with much poorer posts than their ratings would have you believe. I am probably one of them. (I am tempted to linkwhore so you can judge this for yourself - but I won't.)
When it come to standards though, I think there is one thing worth keeping in mind. One of the main reasons that we hold published authors to such high standards is that we are paying to read what they write. I view it as being the same principle of holding a restaurant responsible for delivering a good meal.
If you go down to the soup kitchen for a free meal, you can't really complain about the quality of the food you recieve; most of the time it will be average (or below) fare, prepared by amateur chefs who, for whatever reason, wanted to give their time and effort to prepare something. I am sure though, that from time to time, they whip up something special - something that will make you think "Damn! That's some tasty soup!"
It's the same here. There is plenty of bland, tasteless and downright disgusting content to be had, along with the rare piece that makes you say to yourself "Damn! That's a splendiferous post!" - but what can you expect? Ubersite doesn't claim to be a spawning ground for the next generation of bestselling authors, nor should anyone coming here expect that. We are (for the most part, at least) a gaggle of amateurs, using our free time to write and post here for our own enjoyment and for everyone to see - at no cost real cost to the viewer. Just how high can your standards be?
Submitted by Johnathan_Brains (user info) at 2005-01-22 05:03:21 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
This isn't going to change anything or even make anyone think about this problem. You're going to get many -2's.